Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Take Control of Your Life
• Method 2 of 3: Master Communication Techniques
• Method 3 of 3: Get Involved in the Love Realm
• Tips
• Warnings

Nobody wants to be a failure. Fortunately, no one should! It only takes a little time and energy to fix the situation. Whoever you are, changing your life is easy: make a decision, draw a line, and start changing. right now... Don't let people call you a failure - ignore it and work to be the best and happiest person you can possibly get.Start at step 1!

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Take Control of Your Life

1. 1 Appreciate yourself. If you can only change one thing about yourself, make that change — start appreciating yourself. When people truly value and respect themselves, it’s obvious to everyone around them. They do not need to sparkle with fun and liveliness, but they all have a sense of their own dignity and confidence, thanks to which it is immediately clear that they do not consider themselves to be losers. First, think about everything good and valuable that you have - what you are good at, what you like about yourself, and so on. Knowing that you have unique strengths and talents will make it much easier for you to love yourself and ignore those who might try to tell you otherwise.
   • If you feel overwhelmed and find it difficult to find any virtues in yourself, try the following exercise. Take a piece of paper and divide it in half with a vertical line. On top of one half, sign "Pros", the other - "Cons". Start writing down your positive and negative traits in the appropriate columns. For each minus recorded, try to find two pluses. When the "Pros" column ends, stop and re-read what you have written. Compared to your positive qualities, the negative ones should seem insignificant.
2. 2 Make time for your hobbies and interests. People who spend time doing what they love find it easier to love themselves. The joy and satisfaction you get from your hobbies and interests miraculously builds self-confidence and self-esteem. If you haven't done so before, try spending a little time every day or every week doing something you enjoy that you enjoy. If there are those around who share your hobby, so much the better: in the company of friends, the status of the hobby will rise from “this is great” to “let's do this as often as possible!”.
   • This tip is especially useful if your situation at work or school is far from ideal. It is not easy to find a new job that you enjoy, or a group of new friends at school, but it is not at all difficult, for example, playing a little piano every night if you love music.
   • Try to choose activities that require specific skills that you can improve over time. Watching TV and playing video games can be fun, but these activities usually do not have much potential for your self-development.
3. 3 Be physically active. Believe it or not, how you feel about your body can make a big difference in how you see yourself emotionally. Exercise has been shown to release chemicals (hormones) called endorphins into the brain during exercise, which contribute to a positive and optimistic mood. Give yourself time and energy to be physically active, at least a little, and you will feel refreshed, confident, and full of energy. In addition, exercise is known to help cope with depression. With all these benefits, sports and an active lifestyle are a great choice for anyone looking to lift their spirits.
   • To be absolutely clear, let's clarify: you don't need to have the body of a professional athlete to be happy. Although exercise needs are different for everyone, the general recommendation for adults is 1 hour 15 minutes to 2 hours 30 minutes of cardio per week (depending on intensity) and strength training at least twice a week.
4. 4 Be diligent at work or school. The easiest way to feel good about yourself is when you are successful in achieving your personal and professional goals. Unless you are one of the lucky few who can afford a life of idleness and luxury, you probably have certain professional responsibilities - usually work or study. Make an effort when you take on these things.Not only will you build a better self-image, but you can also achieve promotions, good grades, and other tangible results, which in turn will boost your self-esteem. You don't need to exhaust yourself and deprive yourself of the opportunity to live a normal life in the desire to be finally satisfied with yourself (for example, do not sacrifice the opportunity to immediately see your newborn baby for a few more hours in the office), but you should get into the habit of working hard and doing well any business.
   • If you've recently lost your job, don't be ashamed of it; just try to find a new one, better than the old one. Do not forget the old adage: "Finding a job is also a job."
   • Beware of people telling you to skip school or work for short-term amusement. Having a little fun is always a great idea, but someone who constantly neglects their duties in the name of easy pleasures, and there is a loser.
5. 5 Be socially responsible. Man is a social animal, he is supposed to spend time with his own kind. Refusal to communicate is considered one of the most common signs of depression. If you've been feeling depressed lately, meeting friends or family members you haven't seen in a long time can be a great way to deal with dark thoughts. Spend just half a day with your loved ones and your outlook on life can change completely.
   • Going out with friends is almost always a great idea, just don't dwell on negative emotions and thoughts in their presence. True friends will readily discuss any serious problems with you, but your habit of burdening them with emotional difficulties can be very exhausting for them. Instead, try talking to a close family member, someone you trust (a teacher, leader, priest friend), or a professional counselor.
6. 6 Make plans for the future. People who are doing well in the long run find it easier to enjoy life in the moment because they don't have to worry too much about the problems that tomorrow may bring. If you are working, think about saving for the future (for retirement or for some large-scale project, like your own business or buying a home) - you will not regret if you start saving in advance, even if at first you can save quite a bit (if necessary, read recommendations on how to save money). If you are still studying, consider whether you plan to continue your education or go to work. Ask yourself: "When I graduate from school (lyceum, college), am I going to study further or get a job?"
   • If you know the answer to one of these questions, start looking for a job or school that might work for you. It's never too early to start planning your future. In addition, if you have other desires, plans can always be changed.
7. 7 Surround yourself with good people. The people we spend time with influence us. They can change our views, introduce us to people or things that we would not otherwise encounter, and generally make our lives richer. However, if we spend a long time in the company of those who have no goals or hobbies, but have a negative attitude towards life, our idea of ​​what matters may be distorted. If you suspect that you spend a lot of personal time with these people, do not be afraid to limit communication with them until you put things in order in your life. It may turn out that, once you understand yourself, you suddenly realize that you are not so interested in maintaining this relationship. If you're unsure, look for the following signs of negative influences in the people you spend time with:
   • Negative attitude towards oneself (expressed, for example, in comments like "why can't I always succeed?")
   • Negative attitude towards you (phrases like "here you go again!")
   • Lack of hobbies and interests
   • Hobbies and interests exclusively related to idleness, drug use and the like
   • Passive lifestyle (constantly spending time on the couch, in front of the TV, and so on)
   • Lack of goals and life guidelines
8. 8 Don't listen to your haters. Life is too short to worry about what such people think of you. If someone tells you unpleasant things, you shouldn't put up with it. Let the person know that you don't like their comments. Simply say, "Stop it! You're being stupid." Usually this is enough for the person to understand that you are not satisfied with his negative attitude towards you. If he doesn't change his behavior, stop dating him! You shouldn't feel obligated to spend time with people you hate (except for events that require you to attend, such as weddings, birthdays, and so on).
   • While you shouldn't give too much weight to negative comments, you shouldn't completely dismiss the advice of others. If someone you know and respect is worried about you, listen to them. His advice can be both inappropriate and extremely useful - you won't know until you listen.

Method 2 of 3: Master Communication Techniques

1. 1 Believe in your capabilities. The most important thing a loser can do to improve their communication skills is to develop more self-confidence. It is associated with positive self-esteem. When you are confident that social interaction is okay and that you are perfectly capable of having a good time talking to strangers, it’s much easier to put into practice. There are many guides and tips on how to build self-confidence on the Internet (there are articles like this on wikiHow). Here are some of the most popular tips you'll come across.
   • Imagine yourself having a great time at an upcoming event for a few minutes. Imagine what you say and what you do, and then act as a guide in reality.
   • Treat your communication failures as lessons learned for the future.
   • Before an event where you have to communicate with unfamiliar and unfamiliar people, listen to cheerful music to raise your "fighting spirit".
   • Do not allow yourself to think for a long time about the fact that maybe go wrong. Just go to people and communicate!
   • Ask yourself what the worst can happen. In most cases, the answer is "nothing special".
2. 2 Be positive. If your happiness and good mood will depend more on you than on others, you will not have to worry about having a bad time at a party, holiday, or other event in which you are about to participate. When going to an event that instills you fear, try to think positively. Don't think about what can go wrong; think that everything will pass Good! Think about the people you meet, the good impression you will make, and the pleasure you will get. Unless you are extremely unlucky, reality tends to be closer to this joyful picture than to the one where you embarrass yourself and leave unhappy.
3. 3 Ask people questions about themselves. When you can't think of what to say to an unfamiliar person, it's almost a win-win idea to start a conversation about himself. This will demonstrate your interest in their words and help keep the conversation going. While listening to the person, periodically insert short "yes-yes", "really?", "Of course" and the like to show that you are listening, but do not interrupt.
   • As tempting as it can be to be curious about personal details, you should limit your questions to conventional courtesies until you get to know the person better.For example, if you just met at a party, it would be appropriate to ask "where are you from?", "Where did you study?" or "have you seen this new movie yet?" Try to avoid questions like "how much do you earn?", "What kind of relationship are you with your mother?" or "do you kiss at parties with strangers?"
4. 4 Be open about what you like and what you don't like. When interacting with people, never lie to "fit in." You should be polite and friendly, but you don't have to agree with everything the other person says. If you have the confidence to politely disagree with a person, you are showing that you respect them enough to be honest with them. On the contrary, if you continually agree, you may be thought to be trying to suck up.
   • From friendly disputes and disagreements, a lively, enthusiastic conversation is often born. Just remember to be kind and easy to deal with. Never stoop to insults and personalities to prove your case. Remember, if you cannot prove you are right with logic, you might be wrong!
5. 5 Don't share too much. If you really enjoy talking to a person, you may want to bring up serious topics in order to hear their opinion. However, you should not give in to this desire until you really get to know the person. By touching on an overly serious or emotionally charged issue in a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you run the risk of depriving the communication of ease, causing awkwardness or a sharp, forced change of topic. Below we have listed some topics that you should avoid if you are talking to a stranger or acquaintance rather than a close friend.
   • Emotional problems
   • Difficulties in relationships
   • Recent personal losses
   • Unpleasant topics (death, genocide, etc.)
   • Dirty topics (obscene jokes and the like)
6. 6 Remember that the person you are talking to is also human. If you are worried about an upcoming event where you will need to communicate, remember that the interlocutor, no matter how frightening he may, is the same person as you are. He has his own hopes, dreams, fears, flaws, and more, so don't tell yourself that he's perfect. This is especially important to remember when it comes to communication skills - your interlocutor may be a master of conversation, but they may not be, so if the conversation reaches a dead end, it is not a fact that it will be your fault.
   • Remember: no matter how calm and collected your interlocutor may seem, he, after all, is only a person, and nothing human is alien to him. If you are scared talking to him, try to imagine him in a less serious setting (in his underwear, buying socks, watching TV with a packet of chips in his hand, and so on).
7. 7 Relax! In stressful communication situations, this is one of the most difficult tasks, but it is also the smartest choice you can make. When you relax, almost all in interactions with other people it will be easier for you: your sense of humor will improve, topics for conversation will arise on their own, you will be less timid when addressing people, and so on. If you have special relaxation techniques or habits, then using them in front of communication situations will be of invaluable service to you.
   • Everyone is different, but there are universal techniques that help most people relax. For example, many find it easier to relax after a few minutes of meditation. Others are helped by exercise or calm music.
   • You can find information on other ways to relax on the Internet.

Method 3 of 3: Get Involved in the Love Realm

1. 1 Look for a partner actively. No one has yet met their soul mate, sitting idle all day in their room.To find a romantic partner, you have to dare to go out into the outside world, that is, go somewhere and do something in order to be able to meet new people. You don't have to do it alone; If you convince a friend to keep you company, you will have someone to talk to, even if you don't meet anyone.
   • There are countless ways to meet new people. Some of them are obvious (visiting bars, clubs, parties and similar places), others are not. For example, if you host a reading club meeting or an aspiring climber and invite your friends to invite their friends to join, you have a chance to meet new people. Think creatively! Any activity that others are involved in can be a way to get to know someone.
   • To emphasize again, the only way to meet someone is to leave the house and do things that are likely to interact with other people. If you can't get to know anyone in your usual places and during your usual pastime, try other places and other activities until you start making new acquaintances.
2. 2 Approach people without hesitation. When it comes to finding a match, decisiveness and spontaneity usually play into the hands. Almost everyone gets a little nervous when they need to talk to the person they like. However, one of the keys to successful dating is the ability to act quickly and decisively. If you like someone in the room, go up to that person and talk to him immediately! By doing so, you will demonstrate a lot of confidence, which many find very attractive.
   • Don't hesitate or waste time worrying about the best approach. When you speak to a person without hesitation, success is not guaranteed, but the number of successful attempts will be much higher than if you behaved differently. Plus, even if things don't go the way you would like, your dating circle will still expand.
3. 3 Speak directly if you want to meet again. If you have just met someone and already feel that you are attracted to this person, do not miss him! Tell him that you would like to see each other again in the future. With a 99.9% probability, you will not hear anything worse than "no, thanks" (in the most pessimistic scenario). However, if you still do not dare to offer it, then you will regret it with a probability of 100%!
   • At this point, you do not need to invest in the proposal to meet a romantic meaning. Just say something like, "Come on next time you go bowling with us!" This will indicate a desire to meet in the future, but you will not exert pressure. If a person is interested, he will do one of two things: either agree or refuse, but explain the reason and express a desire to see another time.
4. 4 Never act as if you are desperate. There is an important rule: nothing kills romantic attraction more than compulsion and haste. Never be a person who cannot accept the word "no". If the object of your interest does not want to communicate or meet with you, this is quite natural - he has complete freedom of choice, just like you. Just change the subject or walk away without feeling guilty. But do not try get the consent of someone who has already turned you down. Nothing will come of it, and both of you may find yourself in an awkward position.
   • To avoid being overwhelmed by rejection, try to avoid strong feelings towards someone you haven't gotten to know. In this case, if you are told "no", there will be nothing wrong with that. You will find someone else.
5. 5 Look how you want to look. Don't get hung up on your appearance when planning to go somewhere where you can make an acquaintance. What is really important to pay attention to is basic personal hygiene and self-care, and the rest in day-to-day situations is usually up to you.Try to dress in a way that pleases your appearance. to you, and to you felt confident. If you think the person in the mirror looks well-groomed, fashionable, and attractive, it will be easier for you to exercise confidence when meeting a potential romantic partner.
   • An important exception is formal and semi-formal situations. Some places and events (weddings, expensive restaurants) require a rather formal style. To appear casually dressed in such situations is to show disrespect, therefore, if you are not sure, check in advance what dress code is adopted in this institution or at an event.
6. 6 Be sincere. Most people are able to quite accurately determine when they are being deceived. Therefore, you cannot pretend to be in front of the person with whom you would like to enter into a romantic relationship. Being sincere is always the best course of action. Don't be the kind of person who pours out fake, flowery compliments or puts on a mask of a cocky, self-confident type in an attempt to attract attention. Over time, you will have to relax and show your true face, and so that it does not turn out to be an unpleasant surprise for your potential partner, it is best to be yourself from the very beginning.
   • Moreover, showing interest and courting without being honest is downright disrespectful. Ask yourself, "Would I be flattered or feel cheated if someone lied to me to get closer?"
7. 7 Plan dates. If you see someone and begin to feel a strong attraction, invite the person you like out on a date. Do not wait too long, or you risk giving the impression that you are not interested in further communication. When you ask someone out on a date, you don't have to strive to impress them at all costs. However, you is necessary plan. It will serve several purposes at once: you show that your decision is deliberate, that you are confident, and that you know how to have fun. Going out on a date with no idea where you’ll go or what you’ll do is awkward — avoid it by planning ahead. Here are some great first date ideas.
   • Go for a scenic hike (or try geocaching!)
   • Get involved in collaborative activities (such as painting or pottery)
   • Pick wild berries or fruits from the garden
   • Go to the beach
   • Play a sports game (if you're both willing to take risks, try something like paintball)
   • Don't go to a traditional movie theater (this is a great idea for later dates, but first you need to be able to talk to each other). Instead, you can visit an open-air cinema or watch a movie at home.

Tips

• Check out the articles on wikiHow for advice on how to do something better.
• We all want to be what we paint ourselves in our dreams. Try to be an improved version of yourself by changing what you can influence. Simplify your life and let it bring you joy.

Warnings

• Don't become a sheep, mindlessly following the flock. Be who you are and who you want to be. It means not doing what everyone else is doing just for the sake of being in the majority.
• Cheer up: with some effort, you can change yourself.