Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Assess his behavior
• Part 2 of 3: Talk to him
• Part 3 of 3: How to Get the Attitude You Deserve

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Why are they doing this to me?” When someone (a stranger, friend, or family member) treated you inappropriately? Surely you would like to know why he behaves this way. Try to understand the reason for this behavior by observing the person, as well as asking friends for advice. You can then talk openly and honestly with the person to find out why they are behaving so badly towards you. Finally, learn to limit your interactions with people who upset or hurt you.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Assess his behavior

1. 1 Write down what it is about this person's behavior that upsets you so much. To understand what is at the root of a person's bad attitude towards you, you need to understand exactly what is happening in general. Reflect on how the person treats you. What is it about his behavior that confuses you? Try to clearly and clearly define all the details and moments of his behavior.
   • Write down all the details of his behavior that you managed to notice.For example, the person might be ignoring you whenever you contact them. Write down exactly what happened.
2. 2 Put yourself in his place. Think about the possible reasons for this behavior. Yes, you cannot read minds, but you are quite able to imagine yourself in the same situation, and then understand what makes this person behave that way.
   • For example, it is quite possible that he is not doing well with his studies, so he ignored you when you approached him to chat. It is important to remember that it was the troubles in school that made the person behave in this way - which means that it may not be in you at all.
   • Another example would be when the person is inadvertently excluded from a game or other activity. The person gets upset that they are no longer in the game, so they start bullying you. You can fix this problem by admitting that you did something wrong and then asking for forgiveness.
   • When you are going to settle the situation, be objective and do not forget about yourself. Even if you understand what caused such a person's behavior, you should not get away with an attempt to hurt and injure you.
3. 3 Observe how this person interacts with other people. Try to understand his behavior by paying attention to how he behaves with others. Try to find in his behavior details that confirm his attitude towards you or contradict him. If he behaves with others in much the same way as with you, then it is definitely not about you. If he treats others differently than he does to you, it is most likely a matter of personal dislike.
4. 4 Get the opinion of someone you know. Perhaps you are taking everything too close to your heart; in this case, the opinion of a person who is not involved in this situation will help you. Talk to someone who knows the person and get their opinion on the matter.
   • You can say: “Look, I noticed that Regina has become somewhat rude lately. Don't you think so? "
5. 5 Decide if you want to let go of this situation. Analyze everything you have learned from your observations and opinions of others, and then think about what to do. If you think the person is behaving this way because they have had to go through a difficult situation, it is probably best to simply ignore the behavior and hope that things will improve over time.
   • But if you cannot find an accurate and clear explanation for this behavior, if you suspect that the person is deliberately trying to hurt you, most likely it is worth choosing tactics of struggle.
   • You may have to decide for yourself how important this person is to you, and whether you can let go of this situation just like that.

Part 2 of 3: Talk to him

1. 1 Take this person aside and talk. If you have made the decision to approach him and talk, it is better to do it personally and without extra ears. Strangers in your conversation can only worsen your situation and will not allow you to properly discuss the situation.
   • You can say: "Hi, Vova, listen, can we step back for a minute and talk?"
2. 2 Describe how you see his behavior, how you feel about it. Now that you can talk face to face, feel free to share what you noticed in his behavior. And then don't forget to share the feelings and emotions this behavior evokes.
   • Pay attention to what is clearly visible in the interlocutor's behavior, for example: "I noticed that this week you never answered me when I greeted you."
   • And then show the person how this behavior affected you by adding, "I'm sorry that you ignore me."
3. 3 Ask the person to explain. After describing his behavior towards you, ask the person to explain why he behaves this way.
   • You can ask him something like: "Listen, can you explain why you are behaving this way towards me?"
   • Keep in mind that the person may deny their behavior or simply refuse to explain anything to you. Some may even try to blame you for their behavior.
4. 4 Limit communication with this person. You cannot control the behavior of others towards you, but you can make people know how to communicate with you. This can be done simply by setting boundaries in communication. If someone is behaving badly towards you, you can easily determine which of the boundaries they have violated. Then you can just make it clear to this person that the next time this should not happen again.
   • For example, if you consider the above situation, you might say, "If you continue to ignore my greeting, I will stop greeting you."
   • Another example would be the reaction to the person who insulted you. The established boundary may sound like this: “Please don't call me these words anymore. Otherwise, I'll have to talk to the teacher. "

Part 3 of 3: How to Get the Attitude You Deserve

1. 1 Don't put up with disrespect. Don't feel guilty about objecting to inappropriate behavior and restricting your interactions with the person. You deserve to be treated with respect, and only you can guarantee yourself that you will. If someone allows themselves to treat you badly, talk to them and explain how you expect them to be treated.
2. 2 Keep your distance from this person. If the person continues to be disrespectful to you, distance yourself from them or break up with them altogether. This will be a signal that you consider his behavior as unacceptable, and are not going to put up with him.
   • If the person asks why you have distanced yourself from him, simply say, "I did it for my own peace of mind, because you are not treating me the way I deserve and expect from you."
3. 3 Show people how you should be treated. The way you feel about yourself is a signal to others how to behave with you. Show your acquaintances, friends and relatives how they should behave with you, first of all setting a standard of behavior for themselves.
   • For example, don't talk negatively about yourself to others. Your gait and your actions should exude confidence - lift your chin and pull your shoulders back.
   • You can also show people how they should behave with you by accurately formulating their requests. For example: "I really need to talk to someone." Also, thank the person when they behave towards you the way you expect them to, for example, "Thank you so much for being respectful of my personal life."
4. 4 Treat others with respect. Treat others with due consideration and kindness so that you will be treated the same way. Talk about others only in a positive way, do not gossip or judge others. Show respect for other people and they will respect you.