As a lesbian - tips

Content

Steps
Advice

Learning about your sexual orientation can be difficult, confusing, or exciting - and sometimes it's a combination of the three. Feeling attracted to women doesn't change who you are, but it will say a lot about your sexual perception, and it's normal to explore it, although you might be scared at first. fear. The journey to discover a sexual orientation requires a lot of support from friends and family, or discovers yourself before connecting with others. Anyway, kindness, altruism, and curiosity will help you accept yourself as you are.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Recognize and recognize your sexual orientation

Remember that you can determine your own sexual orientation. In the process of discovering sexual identity, always remember that sexual orientation is a spectrum. This means you can like both men and women, just like girls, or just like certain people. Sexual orientation can also change. This can be confusing or even frightening, but it is actually completely normal. No matter what color range your sexual orientation falls, it is in its right place.
- Remember, there is no "right" way to live as a lesbian, straight, bisexual, or any other sexual identity. Gender perception is determined by who you are, not by social stereotypes or expectations.
Explore your feelings with patience and curiosity. Digging deeper into your sexuality can be a little intimidating, especially if you have been avoiding for a while. Remind yourself that you are safe - just because you are thinking about your feelings doesn't mean you have to act or tell anyone if you aren't ready. Simply start by thinking about your feelings for other girls and your romantic relationships, recognizing and accepting those feelings with honesty and altruism.
- Try to adjust this process in your mind. It is good to explore sexual orientation, and can be very emotional.
- Try not to judge yourself. Take a step back and really look at your feelings, and be kind and open to any emotions that arise.
Accept and deal with any fear or hesitation about your sexual orientation. If you feel uncomfortable, afraid, or even rejecting your emotions, think about why these feelings might be true. Recognizing and accepting, or even dealing with, any negative feelings about sexuality will teach you a lot about yourself. Instead of resisting negative emotions, accept them as part of your journey and remind yourself that they can't be stronger than you.
- For example, if you feel embarrassed or guilty, think about where their roots come from, perhaps due to a belief in male and female love in the family or the media.
- Little by little, begin to question the reasons behind your negative emotions. You may find that, for example, just because we are taught that something is normal or right doesn't mean they have control over who we are.
Be confident into who you are, no matter how difficult it may be. Your sexual orientation can be seen as a core part of who you are, and discovering or questioning it scares you and wonders about who you are or where you belong. Welcoming yourself can be difficult at the moment, but it's the best you can do. Loving yourself and being confident about yourself will make it easier for you to accept your sexual orientation and even make it public when you are ready.
- If you feel conflicted, confused, or afraid, rely on the things that make you happy. Remind yourself of who you are and what you love, and remember that being a lesbian doesn't change those things.
Consider seeing a therapist to talk about and get professional advice. A therapist, especially those who specialize in LGBT issues, can provide great advice when you have problems with your sexual orientation. Therapists will also keep patient information confidential by law, which means you can talk to them about your sexual orientation without fear that they will tell anyone else.
- The therapist will be forced to report violence or things that might harm you or others, like suicidal thoughts.

Method 2 of 3: Seek support

Search for LGBT groups online or in the community. If you don't think your friends or family will support you, or you're not ready to open up to them, it's okay to seek support from the community elsewhere. Finding people who are going through things like you can help you feel less alone and part of a community.
- Search online and in real life for legal, affiliated groups with organizations and therapists. If you are not comfortable enough to speak up, just engage in the conversation and listen. When it's your turn to share your story, take the opportunity.
Talk to a close friend or trusted family member. Opening up to friends and family can be a big, scary step, and you don't have to take it right away unless you're ready, and keep your mind stable. If there is someone in your life you can trust, telling them about your sexuality can help you stay strong and less lonely. They can provide support when you need it, and sometimes even give advice.
- Pay attention to friends and family members who seem open and accepting. They may mention having LGBT friends or talk about their sexual orientation.
- Talk to them when you're both alone, maybe something like "I'm not ready to tell anyone about this yet, but I think I'm gay."
Read or watch lesbian shows to feel part of the community. If you feel like you can't connect with everyone, whether it's a friend or a support group, that's okay. Accessing media, such as TV shows, movies, and books, is an easy, low-risk way to begin your journey to find a community and where you belong. Seeing people like you in the media also helps you feel more confident.
- Check out shows with featured lesbian representations, like Glee and Orange is the New Black, or movies like Imagine Me and You, and Carol. Books have Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden, or Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson.
Go public when it's convenient, when ready. Going public is a big step, and should only be done when you decide it's right for you. Being open and honest with yourself can be a relief, but it's okay if you want to keep your sexual orientation private for fear of bullying, harassment, or other treatment. Take some time to think, and decide if this is what you want to do.
- Start by talking to people you know will support you. This helps you create a support system when you want to go public with others.
- If you are not sure how someone will respond, try mentioning some lesbian movies or shows, or talk about LGBT issues, like the US Supreme Court allowing same-sex marriage. . Watch to see if they respect or object to the above.
- Explain your feelings by saying, "I've been thinking about this for a long time, and realized I like other girls."
- Let them ask questions later.
Avoid discussing with people who seem disapproving or disbelieving. You don't have to talk to everyone in your life about your sexual orientation, there are some cases you shouldn't approach. Listen to your intuitions and instincts, don't feel compelled to let someone know about you, no matter how close you are to that person. This is for your comfort and safety. Consider not going public to the following people:
- Seems to hate homosexuality.They may say negative things about the LGBT community or related issues on the news, or call homosexuals with disparaging words.
- People who threaten to harm if they know you are gay.
- People who support you financially and physically. For example, if you are still living with your parents and are afraid that they will react badly, don't go out with them until you can move out.
- People who can influence you with negative reactions. Think about how you would feel if someone responded negatively. If you don't think your feelings can stand it, don't come out with the person.

Method 3 of 3: Explore relationships

Realize that you may need more time to pursue a relationship. If you've just accepted your sexuality, you may not be ready for a relationship yet - and that's fine. Practice embracing your gender identity, and then connect with others. You will feel more secure about yourself and ready to connect, which is what helps your relationships to bear fruit.
- Don't feel pressured by other people's experiences or relationships. Only you know when you are ready to date.
Reach out to people you know or go online if you're ready to date. Dating apps and websites are great resources if you don't already know how to meet other girls. Look for platforms that are designed for LGBT or that are popular in the community. After you feel comfortable with it, you can ask people you know to help you find appointments or people you can connect with.
- Talking to friends and family can be awkward, but they know you better than anyone else! They will know who is right for you or not, even better than any dating app or website.
- Try out dating apps and sites like Lesly, Plenty of Fish, and Fem.
Get to know a person before inviting them out. Take some time before setting up a date with someone you like. You will need to make sure they like women too, but more than that there is a genuine connection between the two of you. Talk about her passions, dreams and aspirations, and what she likes to do in her spare time.
- Feel that you feel a flash of something special, or if you just enjoy being with her. When you're ready, ask her if she wants to go out to dinner, watch a movie, or do something fun together.
Accept the person's degree of openness to their sexuality. The girl you meet and date can have a different life from you, especially when it comes to accepting and being open about sexuality. You may notice this through nonverbal gestures, like she doesn't want to hold hands in public, or the two of you will have a conversation about it. Be patient and accept the other's point of view.
- You can say, “I wonder if you've come out to friends and family. I've made it public and if you haven't, it's okay ”.
Let intimacy naturally develop. You might be tempted to get intimate with another girl, the idea sounds cheeky, or a combination of the two! Try to be patient and calm as you begin to have physical intimacy with the person - you may not be ready, she may not be, or both of you are unsure.
- If you decide to be close, open up talking about how you feel like it and ask the person what she likes.
- Remember to use safe sex practices, like a female condom or a diaphragm.
Remember that gay dating is like any other relationship. The nature of dating doesn't change with your sexual orientation. Dating is two people who get to know each other, flirt, and have fun whether you're dating the same sex or the opposite sex. If you are polite, learn to listen instead of just talk, try, and enjoy, you will make a great date for you both.
- You don't have to change who you are or what you do after confirming yourself as lesbian. Be yourself, dating or not.