Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to Build Trust
• Method 2 of 3: Finding Trustworthy People
• Method 3 of 3: Learning to Trust Again after Emotional Trauma
• Tips
• Warnings

Trust is a key factor in starting and maintaining a constructive relationship. Trusting someone can mean both the ability to share your innermost secrets, and be sure that a person will always come to a meeting on time. There are different levels of trust, but they all require you to have faith in other people.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to Build Trust

1. 1 Start trusting first. Taking the initiative can be challenging, but it will be much easier for you to build trust if you can take the first step. Start small - tell a personal story from the past, reveal a little secret, or ask someone out on a date. If he turns out to be rude or reserved, then you can try your luck with other people. But if you reciprocate or show sympathy by sharing a similar story or agreeing to a date, then this will be the first reciprocal step towards a trusting relationship.
2. 2 Trust takes time. It cannot be instantly turned on or off. Trust is born over time, grows stronger with relationships. Start trusting people in small things (come to meetings on time, help with small things) before entrusting a big secret.
   • There is no need to judge a person at the first meeting.
3. 3 Gradually learn to open up to people. Sharing secrets, fears and concerns takes a lot of trust. The ability to share emotions with people often comes later in the relationship, when trust has already developed between you. Begin to open up to the person gradually, observe the response, and only then show deep trust. As you share your personal experiences with others, ask yourself a few questions:
   • Is the person interested in what I'm talking about? Mutual concern is essential for trust.
   • Is the person telling you information about himself? Trust requires reciprocity, because both parties need to feel calm and confident in order to share their experiences.
   • Do you receive disregard and condescension in return, do you not pay attention to your worries and worries? Trust is impossible without respect.
4. 4 Different people deserve different levels of trust. There is no “set” level of trust in everyone around you. You will give some people only the minimum necessary trust (employees or new acquaintances), and you can trust others with your own life. It is better not to divide people into two categories of “trustworthy” and “not trustworthy”, but to perceive trust as a wide range.
5. 5 Watch the actions and behavior of people, not words. A promise is easy to make, but it's harder to keep it. Pay attention to behavior, not words, to determine how trustworthy people are. If you are asking for a favor, then hold on to judgment until the very execution of your request.Attention to actions instead of words helps to objectively look at a person, build trust solely on facts.
6. 6 You must be credible in return. To build trust in a relationship, the person must also trust you. If you constantly break a given word, tell other people's secrets, or are late for meetings, then people will do the same to you. Don't forget about the needs of others. Offer help and advice, and listen to other people's experiences to build mutual trust.
   • Never tell others secrets of others. The only exception can be if a person needs help. For example, a friend with depression might share suicidal thoughts with you, but you should tell a psychologist or other professional about it, even if you have been asked to keep quiet.
   • Keep your word and do not give up on plans already agreed upon.
   • Be honest even in the most difficult situations.
7. 7 Remember, there are no perfect people. Alas, any person can make a mistake - being late for a meeting, unwittingly revealing a secret or showing selfishness. If you expect everyone to try to “earn your trust,” then they will all sometimes fail. The ability to trust implies the ability to see the whole picture, and not just random missteps.
   • Untrusted people regularly make the same mistakes or refuse to apologize for the problems they create.
8. 8 Trust yourself. If you believe in a person, then trust your instincts. Believing in yourself not only allows you to trust others, but also allows you to move on if someone deceives your trust. Be happy and emotionally stable. This makes it easier for you to take risks and trust other people.

Method 2 of 3: Finding Trustworthy People

1. 1 Trustworthy people are always reliable and punctual. The people you trust value your time and opinion, so they won't always put their interests first. Being late for a meeting, date, or event is the first sign of lack of reliability.
   • Use this rule within reasonable limits, because sometimes we can all be late for a meeting. It is much worse when people are always late or cancel and reschedule appointments.
2. 2 Reliable people keep their promises. What a person says is often very different from his deeds, but reliable people try to keep their word. For trust to be present, it is important to know that the person will do what he promised to do. For example, reliable people:
   • Keeping their promises.
   • They complete the tasks and tasks for which they have undertaken.
   • Follows co-ordinated plans.
3. 3 Reliable people don't lie. The hardest thing to trust is a liar because you never know what is really on their mind. If you were able to reveal someone else's lie, even insignificant, then this is the first sign that the person is not trustworthy. Take note of any cases of gross exaggeration and harmless lies. If this happens regularly, then you should not trust such a person.
   • Liars are often nervous, can't look you in the eye, and change details in their fables.
   • This also includes “understatements,” where people hide information from you to avoid tension or anger.
4. 4 Reliable people always know how to trust in return. Your trusted friend will also open up to you rather than keep your distance. They understand that trust is a two-way street, and you should be comfortable sharing your experiences if people reciprocate. Trust signals that the person values ​​your friendship and your opinion. It is unlikely that he will do anything that could ruin your relationship.
5. 5 Pay attention to what the person says about others. If he constantly tells you other people's secrets or utters phrases like “He asked me not to tell about this, but ...”, then there is a high probability that your own secrets will suffer the same fate.The behavior of people in your presence indicates how they behave in your absence. If you believe that others should not trust this person, then you should not trust him either.

Method 3 of 3: Learning to Trust Again after Emotional Trauma

1. 1 It's normal to find it difficult to build trust after an injury. After difficult events, many become defensive and begin to experience trust issues. It is an instinct for self-preservation - by trusting others, you become vulnerable to future pain. So, by not trusting people, you protect yourself from suffering. Don't beat yourself up for this. Better admit your suffering and try to learn from the mistakes of the past.
2. 2 Remember that the behavior of one person does not reflect the behavior of everyone else. Among others, there are bad, wicked and untrustworthy people in the world. However, most people are kind and reliable, so don't let a bad chance or person destroy your ability to trust others. Always remember that the world is not without kind people.
3. 3 Don't jump to conclusions. Often times, when we are offended, angry, or upset, we let our emotions run wild and make the situation worse. Before deciding to stop trusting a person, ask yourself a few rational questions:
   • What do I know about what happened?
   • What am I guessing about this person?
   • How did I react in this situation? Was my behavior trustworthy?
4. 4 People remember betrayals better than positives. According to this study, our brains are programmed to remember betrayal faster than good memories, even if it’s something insignificant. To restore trust, it is important to remember all the positive moments experienced with this person. You have probably had many more pleasant experiences than you can immediately recall.
5. 5 Accept a sincere, constructive apology. Everyone makes mistakes, even those we trust. After a dispute or incident, only the person's response matters. A quick or abrupt apology usually means that it’s only formal. This is usually just an attempt to prevent your anger. A truly sincere apology is not made because you are expecting it, but at the same time they look you in the eye and ask for forgiveness. A sincere apology will be the first step in rebuilding trust.
   • Remember to also ask for forgiveness for your wrongdoing.
6. 6 Adapt your expectations. If a person has lost your trust, this does not mean that he cannot be trusted at all. Instead of going back to the beginning, try to start trusting in small, simpler things. If a friend reveals a secret behind your back, then you can no longer entrust him with your secrets. But that doesn't mean you can no longer spend time together, collaborate at work, or have casual conversations.
7. 7 You may never regain full trust in the person who betrayed you. Unfortunately, despite the ability to trust the person again, in some cases the wounds are too deep to be forgiven. If a person has shown that you cannot trust him, then do not be sad when you delete him from your life. Why would you reopen and then get stabbed in the back again.
8. 8 If you can't trust people in any way, then contact a psychologist. Serious emotional trauma has a lasting effect on the brain, so it's best to see a professional if you don't trust people at all. Lack of trust is one of the symptoms of PTSD. If you do not want to see a therapist, then try to find a suitable support group.
   • Remember, you are not the only one with these problems. There are many people in the world who are trying to recover from the effects of their trauma.

Tips

• Be patient and optimistic so that people will treat you the same way.
• Sometimes people are rude and cruel, but remember that they can be kind.
• Trust is always a risk, but a justified risk.

Warnings

• If a person regularly betrays your trust, then he simply does not deserve it. Be wary of people who always apologize - someone who is trustworthy won't hurt you all the time.