How to find a life partner

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 3: Finding the perfect partner
Method 2 of 3: Assess your current romantic relationship
Method 3 of 3: Be aware of who you are and be yourself

It is wise to actively choose your life partner, rather than just cling to the first opportunity that comes along. On the other hand, it is important not to be too picky as this can narrow the circle of potential partners. To increase your chances of finding a good partner, prioritize and open up to opportunities that come your way. You can also evaluate your current relationship to see if it suits you well. Also, work on personal development to build a healthy relationship with the right person for you.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Finding the perfect partner

1 Identify repulsive factors. Ask yourself what traits, habits, or circumstances you cannot accept in your partner. Be prepared to end dating the person if you find any repulsive factors in your relationship.
- Separate repulsive factors from traits that may annoy you, but are not the end of the world.
- For example, poor hygiene can be a truly repulsive factor. On the other hand, you may be able to get along with a partner who likes to stay up late, even if you yourself are used to going to bed early.
2 Find out what personality traits your ideal partner should have. Your partner's personality will greatly affect how your relationship goes. Decide which personality traits your ideal partner should have and which ones you might be able to do without.
- For example, you might decide that your future partner needs to be reliable, kind, and emotionally stable.
- Consider your own character and your values. Most people find it easier to get along with a partner who is at least somewhat similar to them.
SPECIALIST'S ADVICE
Jessica Engle, MFT, MA

Relationship Coach Jessica Ingle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She founded Bay Area Dating Coach in 2009 after completing her Master's degree in Counseling Psychology. She is a licensed family and marriage psychotherapist and registered play therapist with over 10 years of experience.
Jessica Engle, MFT, MA
Relationship coach
Look for someone you can befriend. Jessica Ingle, director of the Bay Area Dating Coach, says: “There has been some really good research showing that healthy, happy relationships are all about friendship. At the same time, the reason why romantic relationships are special is that they are different from all our other relationships, so I would recommend looking for a friendship that will result in something more. ”
3 Think about the lifestyle your ideal partner should lead. Imagine how you would spend your typical day with him. What activities would you enjoy doing together? Ask yourself how willing you are to change your current lifestyle for your future partner.
- For example, if you love hiking and camping on the weekends, chances are you will want to find someone who also enjoys outdoor activities.
4 Don't make too detailed lists of qualities. Sure, it's fun to do, but if you get too meticulous, you might be missing out on a great relationship. Focus on how you get along with potential partners in real life, not how well you fit together on paper.
- If you need to make a list, focus on just a few values or personality traits that matter most to you.
5 Go on dates with people who are not your type. Sometimes great matches aren't obvious, so keep an open mind when looking for a partner. If you persist in meeting only those who look a certain way or hold a certain position, you risk missing out on other people who could make a great party for you.
- Expanding your social circle will give you the opportunity to meet a lot of different people.

Method 2 of 3: Assess your current romantic relationship

1 Take time to get to know people better. In the early stages, be patient and allow the relationship to develop naturally. You should not go too quickly to a serious stage or prematurely write off a person. It takes time to figure out if you are compatible with him or not.
- If your romantic partner is showing red flags, there is probably no reason to further develop a relationship with him. However, if you're not sure if you like a person or not, an extra few dates can help you sort out your feelings.
2 Trust your intuition. If you have a bad feeling about the development of a relationship, it might be a good idea to slow down the process or cut the connection completely. As a rule, the more time we spend with a person, the more clearly their shortcomings become apparent. If you notice red flags or repulsive factors in your partner, chances are these problems will only get worse.
- If you are concerned about certain aspects of a developing relationship, discuss them with your partner.You may be able to come to a compromise. Otherwise, you'll also save yourself some time by figuring out that the relationship is going nowhere.
3 Take your time jumping into relationships. If you're looking for a relationship just to avoid being single anymore, chances are you'll end up disappointing with your chosen partner. Take your time and think about your future happiness, not just how you are feeling at the moment.
- Consider this: You may be happier without a relationship than with the wrong partner.
4 Communicate your needs. You can make sure you find the right partner by being open and direct about your relationship needs. Expressing personal values, goals, and future priorities early on will help you understand if the person is right for you. Also, be prepared to listen to and acknowledge your partner's needs.
- For example, if it is important for you to graduate and get a degree, you should inform your partner about this.
- Relationships require compromise, so you shouldn't express everything in the form of an ultimatum. However, the person should be willing to discuss the matter with you so that you can achieve goals and priorities that meet the needs of each of you.
5 Identify the signs of a healthy partnership. A good relationship tends to generate positive emotions. However, there are several key aspects that indicate that you are heading in the right direction. A healthy relationship has some things in common.
- You and your partner share common values and goals.
- Your expectations are realistic.
- You both contribute to the relationship and work to make it successful.
- You trust each other.
- You respect each other's differences.
- Both of you maintain your own identity in the relationship.
- You encourage and support each other's development.
- You feel safe communicating your needs.
- You respect each other's friendship and family ties.
- You often spend quality time together.

Method 3 of 3: Be aware of who you are and be yourself

1 Know what kind of person you are. Be honest with yourself about your character, needs, and values. Ask yourself where life should take you. Find out who you are by being on your own, not when you are trying to impress a potential partner.
- Having a clear sense of self will help you recognize if you are compatible with the person.
2 Feed your own interests. Set goals and devote some of your time and energy to your favorite activities. Live so that you feel true to who you are, no matter what potential partners might think.
- Self-interest will make you happier, whether you are alone or not. It will also make you more attractive to others.
- Be honest about who you are. Sincerity is one of the best ways to find a compatible partner.
3 Develop those character traits that you would like to see in your partner. To find a good relationship, work to become the kind of partner you would like to have. Consider how you can enrich your future partner's life.
- For example, if you need a generous partner, work to be generous yourself.
4 Make sure your partner values who you are. The ideal romantic partner must be able to maintain balance. He should appreciate who you are now, with all your flaws. You shouldn't have the feeling that you have to be someone else by his side. In addition, this person should support your development and encourage you to become the best version of yourself.
- Ask yourself if your partner allows you to be who you are while supporting your development? For example, he should not push you to become someone else, or stop you from changing for the better.