Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Removing Barriers to Relationships
• Part 2 of 3: Dating and Dating
• Part 3 of 3: Strengthening New Relationships
• Tips

A long-term romantic relationship can be one of the most wonderful gifts that life gives us, and give us the opportunity to grow and move forward together with the people we love. However, finding the right person at the right time and getting into a relationship with them usually takes a lot of time and effort. To find a partner and not lose him, you need to understand what you want, respect your partner and maintain a positive attitude.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Removing Barriers to Relationships

1. 1 Ask yourself what you want out of the relationship. Although many people think they need a relationship to get something (love, sex, satisfaction), healthy love relationships are obtained when people want share love, life and closeness.
2. 2 Respect yourself. Many problems in relationships arise from a lack of healthy love and respect for oneself in the first place. This can easily happen due to unfortunate past relationships, untreated childhood traumas, and other causes.
   • Self-respect means that you accept yourself as you are and are able to forgive yourself for your mistakes. As you learn to do this, you also learn to love, accept, and forgive your partner.
   • When you have self-esteem, you understand how you expect and deserve to be treated. This is important in order to avoid unhealthy relationships.
3. 3 Deal with the past. The last thing you need in your new relationship is unresolved issues from your past relationship or marriage. Working out the reasons why your past love relationship was not successful will also help you avoid repeating the same mistakes.
   • A therapist can help you see a clear picture of the relationship you are building and develop a constructive plan to deal with any difficult issues.
   • It's never too late to change your behavior. If you feel incapable of intimacy or long-term relationships, remember, you can always change that. You just need time and some help from the outside.
4. 4 Don't get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. Social pressures sometimes make us think that we should get ourselves a mate at any cost. It is a myth. Remember, no relationship is better than a bad relationship. Your interest in a potential partner must be genuine.
5. 5 Be aware that sympathy can develop over time. Love at first sight is a very attractive idea, but many relationships don't start with it. If you do not have an instant attraction to a person, this does not mean that he is not suitable for you: strong love grows over the years, and friends can turn into lovers. When considering potential partners, don't dwell on their physical appearance. Personal qualities such as kindness, humor, and curiosity are more valuable in the long run, and as a result, you can fall in love with this person.
6. 6 Don't expect to be able to change your partner. At the beginning of a relationship, it's easy to ignore the things you don't like about your partner, hoping that you can change them over time. However, people can only change themselves, and only if and when they want to. If there is something that you cannot accept in the long run, think carefully about whether you should enter into this relationship.
   • Likewise, beware of a partner who wants to change you. It's okay to grow and develop together, but neither of you has to change to please the other.
7. 7 Don't get hung up on the little things. While certain disadvantages (such as alcohol problems, violent tendencies, or irresponsible behavior) are clearly unacceptable, sometimes you can be annoyed with much smaller disadvantages, such as the habit of chewing with your mouth open, questionable dress preferences, or different musical tastes. If this person is really interesting to you, don't let such little things stop you from getting closer.
8. 8 Understand what a healthy relationship is. Distinguishing healthy relationships from unhealthy ones can be difficult, especially if you have been surrounded by unhealthy relationships since childhood. Fortunately, there is a lot of information available on the Internet, and you can read about what relationships are normal and healthy. Use this knowledge to define the boundaries of what is acceptable before you go looking for a partner.
   • For example, decide what you’re willing to accept and what you’ll never tolerate from your partner. If someone violates these boundaries, stand your ground.

Part 2 of 3: Dating and Dating

1. 1 Find out where you can meet people with similar interests. If you're having trouble finding someone, make a list of what you enjoy doing. Common interests can be a great foundation for your relationship.
   • Consider joining a club dedicated to one of your hobbies, be it climbing, reading books, or dancing.
   • Volunteer for something you think is important, such as helping out at a free cafeteria, an animal shelter, or cleaning up trash in the forest or on the beach.
   • Sign up for courses. Find out what interesting schools and courses there are in your city. Cooking classes, foreign language classes, or painting classes are satisfying in their own right, and can also be a great opportunity to meet new people.
2. 2 Treat dating sites with a grain of salt. Some dating sites help, others feel that there is unnecessary pressure on them and there is no spontaneity. If you do turn to online dating sites, remember: although the program is supposedly created in order to find you the perfect match, it takes a long time to get to know a person, and it is possible only in person.
3. 3 Meet through friends. Perhaps you will get to know your ideal couple through friends, family, neighbors, or coworkers. Be open to new meetings, accept invitations to holidays and parties. If someone in the company interests you, talk to that person or ask your mutual friend to introduce you.
   • You can also meet new people on social networks, for example, among your friend's friends who also comment on his posts.
4. 4 Meet in an informal setting. If you meet someone you are interested in, feel free to take the first step and invite them to a non-binding meeting. Drinking coffee together is almost always a safe bet. Other options may depend on the circumstances in which your meeting took place. For example, if you met at a travel club, you can invite this person on a short hike with you and your friends. If you both love music, go to a concert.
   • It is a good idea to meet in a public place with other people around. This way you can safely get to know each other in neutral territory.
   • In an informal meeting, you will not feel the pressure of a more formal invitation to a date.
5. 5 Learn to accept rejection. Rejection is an integral part of the dating and dating process, and you need to learn how to deal with them.
   • Do not take the refusal personally. People can have a lot of reasons not to get involved in a relationship, and in most cases, you are powerless.
   • Take a constructive attitude. If you have been rejected multiple times, take a step back and ask yourself if there is anything in your approach that you need to change. Perhaps you are applying too much pressure or choosing people with whom you have nothing in common. In any case, don't get hung up on rejections. Maintain a positive attitude and keep moving on.
   • Don't ignore your feelings. Sometimes it's hard to come to terms with rejection. If you are feeling sad or angry, acknowledge those feelings instead of suppressing them. This will allow you to recover faster and move forward.
6. 6 Avoid intimacy early in the relationship. Having sex with someone you have known for less than a week can interfere with the development of a friendship between you. If you like the person, sex can create emotions that you both are not ready for yet. What's more, it could happen that one or both of you fail to take responsible steps to prevent sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancies. To make matters worse, after intimacy, your new partner may simply evaporate!
   • The person you are dating may show their interest in being intimate with you, but they should never pressure you. Explain that your desire not to rush things is not a rejection, but is dictated by your sympathy for the person, and that you would like to wait for the right moment.If he does not understand this, distance yourself from him: this may be a signal that you are dealing with an owner or a violent person. Disrespecting your boundaries is always a worrying sign.
7. 7 Pay attention to your behavior and that of your partner with friends and family. As your relationship develops, you may start dating people who are close to each other. Pay attention to how comfortable you both are in these situations: it can be a clue as to how your relationship is developing.
   • At times, you or your partner may feel uncomfortable. This is fine. The main thing is that you try to spend time and communicate with each other's close people.
8. 8 Maintain close relationships with your family and friends. Sometimes a new relationship can overwhelm you, but resist the urge to completely dissolve in your new partner. Make it a goal to stay in touch with your friends and family, and always take the time to call them and meet them. Do not forget that love sometimes comes and goes, and these people are with you forever.
9. 9 Pay attention to warning signs. There are signs that the relationship is becoming unhealthy. Learn to listen to your inner voice and pay attention to how you feel around your partner. If you feel underappreciated, insecure, or ashamed, it's best to end the relationship early and take the time to find a better match.
   • Drunk Dating: You only feel connected when you're under the influence of alcohol.
   • Disclaimer: Sometimes people find it too difficult to make a commitment because of their past, such as a dysfunctional family or trust issues.
   • Lack of non-verbal communication: It is normal for a person to express their interest in you through body language, be it eye contact or touch. If not, he may not be interested in you.
   • Jealousy: If your partner doesn't like that you are making time for other things that are important to you - hobbies, friends, family members.
   • Controlling Behavior: If your partner tells you what to do, think, or feel.
   • Imposing guilt: The person blames you for their failed relationship and / or is unwilling to take responsibility for their actions.
   • Sex-Only Relationships: If all the time you spend together, you spend exclusively in bed.
   • Unwillingness to be alone: ​​If your partner is not interested in spending time with you alone (except in bed).

Part 3 of 3: Strengthening New Relationships

1. 1 Find things to do together. Once the initial romantic flair in a relationship subsides a bit, you both need to be prepared to continue spending time together and investing in the relationship. Discuss what you both enjoy doing and make a plan to have fun together on a regular basis, even if you and your partner are busy.
   • Research has shown that the emotional excitement a couple experiences while doing something new together increases physical attraction and brings partners closer together.
2. 2 Communicate constantly. Friendly and sincere communication plays a huge role in a relationship. Your connection only grows stronger when you share your feelings, thoughts, fears, and desires with each other.
3. 3 Build trust by gradually revealing your vulnerabilities to each other. It takes time to build trust in a relationship. It is useful for this if you are not afraid to show your partner your weakness, but you should not dump everything on him at once. Share a little bit of your vulnerabilities and concerns with each other. Over time, this will build a deep connection based on trust.
   • For example, early on in a relationship, you may admit that you haven't always lived in peace with your sister. Over time, you can tell in more detail why you did not get along. However, you should not list in detail all your grievances when you first started dating.
4. 4 Maintain your independence. You may find it difficult to maintain a balance between relationships and fulfillment, although the latter is actually very important to your love life. Mutual independence means that both of you continue to grow as individuals and do what you love. Not only will this help you avoid unhealthy codependent relationships (where one partner's self-esteem and sense of self is completely dependent on the other), but it can also be stimulating and new to your relationship, allowing you to see each other doing what you love.
5. 5 Don't be afraid of conflict. As a relationship develops, disagreements are inevitable. It is very important to feel that you can confidently and without fear of repercussions express your concerns. Play fair, always listening to the opposite side, and strive to find a compromise in order to preserve your relationship.

Tips

• If you think you need the help of a psychologist or psychotherapist to work through your relationship problems, but his services are too expensive for you, consider group therapy as an alternative. Such therapy can prove to be an affordable and effective option.