Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Learn to recognize avoidance behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Understanding avoidance behavior
• Method 3 of 3: Dealing with being avoided
• Tips

It is sometimes difficult to tell if someone is avoiding you. There is a chance that you just don't cross paths. However, there are clues that you can rely on: you may have seen the other person, but they may not even have looked at you. Maybe you left a message on Facebook, but he / she didn't bother to reply. Put yourself in this person's shoes and try to understand why he or she may be trying to avoid you.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Learn to recognize avoidance behavior

1. Notice when communication suddenly drops. Maybe someone suddenly disconnects from you, even if it is sporadic. The person may not even be bothered to speak to you in person: they may only contact you via email, text message and / or social media. If you consider contact with them to be friendly or romantic, but they suddenly stop talking to you, this could be a sign that you are avoiding.
   • Your friend may just be very busy and really want to see you. He might send you a message like, "Sorry I didn't call you back ... I'm just so busy with school right now. Let's meet next week when I have more time. "However, if you get these kinds of messages week after week - or no message at all - you can be sure that the other person is trying to avoid you.
2. Learn to recognize when someone is constantly looking for an excuse not to spend time with you. Maybe that person keeps blaming a busy work schedule, or a hectic social life, or something just happens to intervene. If people keep finding reasons to get out of plans, chances are they are trying to avoid you.
   • Don't be too harsh. Things can get in the way, and a person actually cannot cope with his or her hectic schedule. Apologies indicate avoidance, but don't necessarily mean someone doesn't want to spend time with you.
3. Try to make eye contact. When speaking to this person in person, look them in the eye. If they avoid your gaze, chances are the person won't want to make eye contact with you. If there is eye contact, it is very short - or the eyes are rolled.
4. Send the person a few messages and wait for the reply. If you have a simple "Hey! How are you? ", But after a few days there is no response, that person may not want to talk to you. If you don't get a response, try again, but don't accuse the other person of anything; just keep trying to start a normal conversation. If they don't respond to this second message, don't keep pushing. Respect the other person's reasons for avoiding you, and don't add any more.
   • Some messaging services indicate when a recipient has read your message. Use this to check whether or not you are being ignored. If he / she reads all your messages but never responds, it means that at least there is no interest in communicating through messages. If your messages are not marked as "read" or "seen", you may still be able to determine if the other person is online, through the "Chat" bar or the timing of his / her other messages.
   • Use your knowledge of someone's technology habits. If you know that friend doesn't use Facebook very often, it makes perfect sense that he won't notice your messages. On the other hand, if he's constantly on Facebook but doesn't respond to your posts, then he's probably trying to avoid you.
5. Look for short, uninterested answers. If you manage to initiate a conversation with the person, make sure they only give short, monotonous answers. They may try to deflect your questions so that they can escape quickly.
   • For example, you can say, "Hey, we haven't talked to each other in a while. How are you? "To which the other responds with" Okay, "and continues. This could indicate that your friend is avoiding you.
6. Be aware of how the other person interacts with you in a group. If they are talking to everyone but you, they may be trying to avoid you. Avoidance doesn't necessarily mean someone won't spend time with you - it could mean they're just pretending you're not there. Try to say something directly to that person and see how he responds. If the friend responds curtly and turns around - or doesn't respond at all - then there's a good chance he's avoiding you.
   • Compare this treatment with how the person reacts in a one-on-one situation. Maybe he "avoids" you alone in a group, or he quickly snaps away when you are alone. Find out if he's doing this with other people or just you.
   • Notice if the person leaves the room when you enter. If this is done consistently, it may indicate that he / she doesn't want to be around you.
7. Find out if this person respects your opinion. If this person doesn't ask for your opinion at meetings or friendly discussions, it could mean that he / she is trying to ignore you. Maybe the other person isn't asking how you feel about certain decisions; maybe that person doesn't even respond when you come up with your own perspective.
8. Don't accept it when someone puts you on a leash. Consider whether you are a priority in his / her life. Someone can avoid you if they don't want to make time for you. Perhaps this person has a hard time connecting and wants you to be content to "go with the flow." These are indicators that you may not be a priority:
   • The relationship is not progressing: it sputters some dramatic bumps, stagnates or possibly even deteriorates.
   • This person is only there when he / she wants something from you. This includes money, attention, sex, or just someone to talk to. Consider whether you are being used consistently.
   • The person only makes plans at the last minute. He / she just shows up or sends you a text message late at night, without even trying to plan something together.

Method 2 of 3: Understanding avoidance behavior

1. Ask yourself why this person might want to avoid you. Maybe you have had a fight or there has been a conflict; maybe you have offended the other without realizing it; or have you made the other person uncomfortable in some way. Think carefully about your behavior and try to find out what could be the reason.
2. Look for patterns. Examine the circumstances under which you feel like you are "avoided", and see if there is something in common between each time it occurs. Maybe this person avoids you at certain times, or with certain people; maybe it has to do with you, or maybe it has to do with them. Try to fit the puzzle pieces together and understand what's going on.
   • Does this person seem to avoid you at certain times or when you are doing certain things? For example, you may have recently started experimenting with drugs and your friend is uncomfortable seeing you in such a changed state.
   • Does this person avoid you when you interact with certain people? Maybe you're not the one trying to avoid the other person - or maybe that person doesn't like the way you do when you interact with certain people. Maybe your friend is shy or introverted: he / she is always up for a face-to-face conversation, but quickly disappears when you show up with a large group.
   • Does this person avoid you when trying to work or study? Maybe that friend loves spending time together in a relaxed social setting, but hard to get work done when you're around.
3. Think about how you want to contact the person. If that friend or loved one is present and engaging but never responds to your text messages, then he / she may just not want to communicate with you via text message. This can be especially true if that friend lives a very busy or disciplined life - it can be very difficult to take the time for deep, engaged text conversations when you have to work, study, or exercise all the time.
4. Keep in mind that people can grow apart. Ask if the person has changed since they started avoiding - and if so, how much they've changed. Maybe he has found a new group of friends; maybe they have found a new love; maybe he's engaged in a new sport or hobby that isn't really your thing. A close relationship with someone is nice, but people change and can grow apart. If you notice that someone has taken a different path, it may be time for yourself to move on.
   • Also ask yourself if you have changed yourself. Maybe this person is acting like he always has, but it is you who have started to behave differently. Maybe your circle of friends has changed, or you've picked up a habit that bothers that friend, or you're just running out of time.
   • Growing apart doesn't mean you can't get closer again. If you find yourself getting removed from someone, it's your choice whether to let the relationship bleed to death or reinvigorate it. However, keep in mind that this feeling must be mutual.

Method 3 of 3: Dealing with being avoided

1. Confront the person. If you're sure someone is avoiding you, tactfully address the matter. You may want to make up for any mistakes you have made; maybe the other person is avoiding you because he / she is going through a difficult time. Be respectful and direct, and explain exactly what is bothering you.
   • If you're not sure why someone is avoiding you, say something like, "I've been wanting to talk about this for a while - I feel like you've been trying to avoid me lately. Did I do something that made you angry with me? "
   • If you know why someone is avoiding you, don't beat around the bush. Apologize for doing wrong and try to reconcile. For example, say, "I feel like we've had something to do with us since we had that altercation last week. I value our friendship and would like to talk about this so that we can put it behind us. This disagreement is not worth ruining our friendship. "
   • You can confront the person in a personal conversation, or you can ask a guidance counselor to mediate during the conversation. Consider what is most comfortable for you, and choose the situation that you think will best solve the problem.
2. Ask mutual friends for insight, but don't talk behind the person's back. If you have mutual friends, get someone trustworthy to consider the situation. Ask if they have any idea why X would be angry with you and if you feel like you have been avoided by X lately. "
   • Don't spread rumors or gossip about the person who is avoiding you. If you care about the relationship with this person, be very careful about what you say. If you say negative things behind the person's back, there is a good chance that your words will find their way to their ears - and that will only make the situation more heated.
3. Give the person space. Sometimes people have to go through their own personal journey before they are willing to reconnect with others. In many cases, forcing this connection will only push the avoidant person further away from you. Be patient, open, and get on with your own life. If the person decides that he or she wants to be in your life, you will notice.
   • Make it clear what your intentions are. Say something like, "I feel like you need your own space right now to grow, so I'm going to continue to leave you alone. If you ever want to talk, my door is always open for you. "
   • Keep your heart open. It can be very difficult to move on with your life and still be open to this person. Step back from the relationship, remember the good times, and try to let go of any anger.
4. Let it go. It can be very difficult to give up on someone, especially if you have invested a lot of time and energy in the other person. At some point, however, you may have to accept that things will not return to the way they were. It is a matter of growth and emotional well-being: if you live your life, musing about the past, holding on to what once was and could have been, it becomes immeasurably more difficult to learn and thrive in the present. Let it go.
   • Letting go doesn't have to be forever. It does not mean that you can never establish a friendship with this person again. It just means that you are not going to spend your precious emotional energy on someone who is not open to it right now.

Tips

• If the person keeps avoiding you for a long time, it may be time to let go. If they don't have time for you, they may have simply lost interest in you.
• If the other person seems uncomfortable to watch when you are around, this may indicate that he / she would rather not see you.
• If you are particularly sad that this person is avoiding you, ask a good mutual friend to find out why they might be angry with you.