Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Wanting to understand people
• Method 2 of 4: Resolving Emotional Problems
• Method 3 of 4: Good Communication
• Method 4 of 4: Connecting with People
• Tips
• Warnings

Getting along with people can be tricky. Someone does not know how to be friends, someone is constantly dissatisfied with something, and someone is surrounded by friends that he does not like. It doesn't matter what problem you are facing, here is some advice. Just start reading from the first step, or take a look at the section that describes your situation.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Wanting to understand people

1. 1 Make peace with human nature. People make mistakes. People are not always polite and pleasant. They say bad things, get distracted, forget. You should remember: all the problems that you face here and now, all your pain is with them. Everyone is struggling with their own problems. This is very important to remember if you want to get along with people with whom you find it difficult to build relationships or who simply ignore you; everyone tries to do their best.
2. 2 Try to show sympathy and empathy for them. Sympathy is when you understand or try to understand why a person feels the way they do. Empathy is when you've been in his shoes and you know how he feels. Both that, and another - an amazing attitude towards a person. If it's hard with someone or the person simply ignores you, try to understand their feelings. Understand that even if you don't share these feelings, they still have some value. Remember that these people are trying to do their best and that they are struggling with their own problems. Remember how your problems sometimes made you an intolerable person or forced you to do something that you later regretted. Remembering, you will feel better and it will be easier for you to communicate with this person.
3. 3 Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how people act, and then think about what you would do in their place. Try to get rid of your personal biases as much as possible, and remember that these people may be less emotionally developed than you. Would you make a similar choice? Be honest with yourself. Often the answer is yes, so be more lenient with people.
4. 4 Respect the right to choose. All people are different: this is the interest of this life. The world is also very complex, as are the people who cannot be divided into black and white characters. And all situations are different, always. The fact that people do not act the way you would in their place, or that they take the wrong path, does not make them wrong. Life is not a test with answers at the end: it is something that we have to live ourselves and not pull everyone around to our standards.
5. 5 Think about how children act and think. When you are really having a hard time with people, think about children. Children often say and do the wrong thing, because they are in the process of learning. The hardest thing about life is that it is too ambiguous. There is a lot to learn. And not all people have already learned their lessons. Try to treat them with the same patience that you would show for children. We are all in the process of development, all our lives.

Method 2 of 4: Resolving Emotional Problems

1. 1 Eliminate problems that can and should be solved. If you have problems with other people, start by identifying what exactly those problems are. If these are serious issues that need to be dealt with, such as someone acting like a creep or doing something dangerous, then you need to confront and deal with the person. Bad behavior should not be accepted or ignored. However, if someone is just annoyed or makes you feel uncomfortable by being different from you, then it is best to find another way out.
2. 2 Remember this is temporary. Develop patience to help you deal with people who annoy you. It's a good place to start by simply remembering, as the great Joseph Campbell said, "This too will pass." Everything in this world is temporary, including the annoying behavior of that office guy. You should learn not to get trapped in negative emotions, but to move away from them, focusing on more positive things.
   • Try to distract yourself with work if this step is difficult for you.
3. 3 Sing a song in your mind. If someone annoys you, try singing a song in your mind that will help you maintain calmness and appropriate behavior. You can sing any song you like, even "Hakuna Matata" from the Disney cartoon. Music will save you from losing your temper.
4. 4 Imagine that you are some other person. Another tactic is to pretend to be another person when interacting with difficult people. Imagine that the person who pisses you off is just a meowing cat. Sometimes cats are annoying, but in general, they are quite cute, aren't they? You can also imagine that you are in a different place altogether, for example, swimming in the summer on the river. Just imagine the chirping of grasshoppers and bubbling water ...
5. 5 Reward yourself for your success. A good way to keep yourself in tough situations, when you have to strain to distract yourself, is to promise yourself a reward for a great game. For example, tell yourself that if you can be polite, buy yourself some ice cream. If you help a person, even if he pisses him off, double your reward!
6. 6 Train forgiveness. Forgive people when they make mistakes. Sometimes you just need to stop and let people doubt themselves. They may truly regret what happened, or they may not realize that they have done a bad deed. Forgive them so that you can quickly return to a positive mood yourself. No one wants to cycle about how much someone annoys you.

Method 3 of 4: Good Communication

1. 1 Be open. Sometimes you need to leave people with the consequences of their actions: you may think they hate you when they honestly try to be nice to you. For example, if you are invited to a party, agree instead of throwing away the invitation with the certainty that they are not serious.
2. 2 Thank people, even if they annoy you. Even such people, thank them for their efforts to help and for their advice. If the person is inherently mean, then responding meanness will not make you feel better. Just be polite and wait for the person to go their own way. In fact, gratitude is often the best way to calm someone down.
3. 3 Say what you think. When trying to interact with people, start with honesty. Say what you really think, and do not go around the bush and do not show passive aggression.
4. 4 Set frames. If you are uncomfortable with people, establish a framework for your interactions to protect yourself. For example, if you are constantly invited to some events, and you do not want to spend so much time among people, say that you are free only at certain times or on certain days, without exception. If someone you are spending time with invites you to discuss topics that are uncomfortable to you, say that you don’t want to talk about it.
   • When refusing to discuss a topic, use the words: "I feel." People tend to respect your ability to directly say that something is causing you negative feelings.
5. 5 Give people recognition. Sometimes people just need to be noticed and understood. If someone continues to bore you, let them talk. Let them talk about what worries them so much. This can give them the relief they need to get back to business as usual.
6. 6 Think about what your words are really talking about. Sometimes we say something without thinking about what the words really mean or how they might affect the feelings of another person. Have there been times when someone's words made you very upset? Sometimes they cause disgusting feelings and are remembered for a long time. It’s even worse if the person doesn’t realize it at all! Before you say anything, think about how your words might affect other people.
   • For example, a joke may be funny to you, but offensive to someone. Jokes like these can provoke serious relationship problems because you hurt their feelings and embarrass them.

Method 4 of 4: Connecting with People

1. 1 Be on the positive side. No one likes spending time with negative people who constantly complain or talk about violence and injustice. They seem a little out of their minds! Instead of being Eeyore, become one who sees good in everything. Look at the bright side of negative situations. Be the kind of person who discerns what lessons can be learned from them. Be the one with hope, no matter the circumstance. If you have a consistently positive attitude towards life, especially in difficult circumstances in your life, people will reach out to you, being inspired by your example!
2. 2 Contribute to all relationships. Remember, friendship or love doesn't just happen. We all need to work equally on relationships. This also applies to romantic relationships and friendships and partnerships. If someone you care about is being eliminated, or your relationship has become too complicated, consider whether you are bearing the entire burden of the relationship. Are you doing what they should be doing? Do you care for them as much as they care for you? If not, it might be time to rethink your approach.
   • Make sure you appreciate them and please them from time to time.
   • Do not treat this as a direct exchange. For example, if you did something nice to your girlfriend, this does not mean that now she is obliged to have sex with you. On the contrary, do what you think people deserve, not in order to get something from them in return.
   • Be an active listener. Sometimes all the other person needs is to be heard. If you think you cannot offer much help, at least become a good listener and a shoulder to cry on when life is particularly difficult.
3. 3 Help people. Help is a great way to connect and build connections between people. You can provide very simple help to people, for example, become a mentor at work, or you can help people who are in great need, and this will give you an extraordinary sense of satisfaction and meaning.
   • Consider some serious volunteer work. Find an organization that helps people in difficult life situations. Invest your love and wisdom for the good of people!
4. 4 Do something together. Collaboration is another way to connect people and make them friends. You can work together on the same project at school or at work. A new activity can be learned. Membership in hobby clubs is a great way to meet new friends who share your interests. These events will be a topic of conversation for you and provide many opportunities for interaction and acquaintance.
5. 5 Complain together! This is far from the most positive approach and not the best choice, but joint discontent can very quickly bring people closer together. Just don't start complaining about everything! Observe and listen first, and pay attention to the person's response to situations. This will help you understand what exactly he doesn't like. Then you can comment and express your dissatisfaction with what, as you already understood, worries this person too. So you don't run the risk of offending him. And don't go too far in your dissatisfaction: better start a new topic of conversation!

Tips

• Give yourself time. Changing behavior habits is not easy!

Warnings

• Sometimes problems in relationships with other people are rooted in the way your brain works. If you feel that you are having more problems than the average person, try to consult your doctor. Perhaps he can help you identify the root of your problem.