Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Before
• Part 2 of 3: During
• Part 3 of 3: After

To avoid being manipulated, you need to work on yourself and identify weaknesses before this happens. When this happens, you need to take a step back and use this incident as an opportunity to analyze your thoughts and feelings. Learn from your own experience to guard against future manipulation.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Before

1. 1 Be responsible for your reaction to what happens. First of all, you need to understand that no one can evoke certain feelings in you. You must be in complete control of your feelings and emotions.
   • You can't force people not to do something, but you can prevent unwanted consequences.
2. 2 Let go of the desire to change others. Other people cannot force you to react the way they want, so you cannot force them to act the way you want. Give up the idea of ​​changing other people.
   • Determine if you have a desire to change someone, humiliate someone in order to feel better, take control of someone, or get someone to listen to you. Also define your expectations about what your relationship with the people “should be”.
   • These desires apply to specific people. If this is not the case, then it is necessary to stop relying on the opinion of certain people.
3. 3 Analyze the means of manipulation. Think about the last time you were manipulated and pissed off. Ask yourself where your pain points are and try to fix the situation.
   • Try to determine the reason for the manipulation. Ask yourself what your weakness is or what you fear.
   • If you can't figure it out on your own, talk to a psychologist or friend who can assess the situation objectively.
4. 4 Drop your ego. Remind yourself that the world does not revolve around you. You are just as important as other people, but ultimately everyone has a right to happiness and a sense of well-being.
   • Try to live in peace with other people. Remind yourself of this every day.
5. 5 Draw boundaries. Think of people who regularly manipulate others and draw boundaries between those people and you. You cannot control their behavior, but you can limit their ability to manipulate.
   • Those who are unfriendly towards you should be erased from life as much as possible.
   • People who are dear to you who will use your weaknesses to their advantage may remain in your life depending on the circumstances, but you must seriously discuss the problems in your relationship. If the behavior of these people does not change, limit your communication with them so that your words cannot be used against you.
6. 6 Think positively. Your reactions depend on your feelings, and feelings depend on your thoughts. See things positively so you don't get manipulated.
   • Feelings give rise to emotions. Emotions generate behaviors, and every choice has good or bad consequences. If you start thinking negatively, the consequences are likely to be negative as well. On the other hand, positive thoughts will lead to positive results.
   • For example, if your friend lives far away from you and never text or calls first, you might consider his behavior in a negative light.It is possible that your friend will always answer you promptly and in all seriousness. Concentrate on this instead of thinking about the bad.
7. 7 Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Respect for others entails respect for yourself. Treating other people should be acceptable.
   • Showing respect for other people does not guarantee that you will be respected as well, especially if the person has no intention of working closely with you. But respect for loved ones will help you gain respect for yourself.

Part 2 of 3: During

1. 1 Give yourself time to calm down. When someone tries to manipulate your emotions, give yourself time to respond appropriately.
   • By giving yourself time to rethink the situation, you create a filter between your brain and your mouth. This filter will help you respond appropriately.
   • Allow yourself to feel how you feel about the situation. Shout, swear, or cry into your pillow if necessary.
   • Once you are comfortable with your emotions, do something to calm yourself down. Practice meditation, breathing exercises, or going for a walk.
2. 2 Identify the vulnerable spot. There are several types of resentment. Ask yourself how you are feeling and why the situation made you feel this way.
   • You must stop blaming the other person who hurt you. By focusing on yourself, you can deal with your emotions.
   • It can also happen that as a result of the insult you have inflicted, you feel misunderstood, abandoned and lonely, or feel all these feelings at once.
3. 3 Get a complete picture of what happened. Think about the past and think of other times when you felt the same way. Determine how these situations are related.
   • If you've done all of the above, you should already have an idea of ​​your weaknesses. This will make it easier for you to associate a particular case with one of your weaknesses.
   • If you cannot do this, try to understand what you are missing and see at the root of the problem.
4. 4 Identify irrational feelings and thoughts. Step back and look at things objectively. Ask yourself if your thoughts and feelings are rational at the moment. Try to deal with irrational thoughts.
   • Ask yourself the meaning of the hurt you've been hurt. What do you think a particular case means? Once you determine the meaning of a particular incident, you can understand whether you have correctly assessed the situation.
   • For example, having a falling out with a boyfriend or girlfriend does not mean that your relationship is doomed to fail, even if you would like to break up right now.
   • Deal with your emotions. Negative emotional reactions are normal when something bad happens, but when negative emotions take over and are difficult to deal with, it is an irrational reaction.
5. 5 Look at the situation from the other side. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to determine why this person behaved this way and not otherwise.
   • Ask yourself if this person has any personal problems that may have triggered this behavior. Try to understand the other person's pain and accept your own pain.
   • Determine if a particular situation happened by accident or intentionally. It will be easier for you to get over this situation if you understand that nothing bad was planned against you.
6. 6 Ask yourself how your reaction affects you. Consider how your own reactions are affecting you. You will most likely find that your resentment is exaggerated.
   • Think about what might happen if you behave irrationally. Ask yourself what the consequences will be, and what will be your relationship with the person in the future. If the answer is no, your reaction is likely unhealthy.
7. 7 Consider other options. Make a mental list of other possible reactions to the situation. Go through this list and ask yourself what reaction is best for the case.
   • While it all depends on the situation, two options include reacting negatively to the hurt and being calm about it.
   • Think long-term options. You can limit your interactions with this person if that's better for you.
8. 8 Formulate realistic conclusions. Return to the irrational values ​​and conclusions identified earlier. Change your conclusions and make them more realistic.
   • Think back to the conclusions you made about your particular situation. If you have already determined that your reaction was irrational, you should know what the illogical conclusions represent. You can come to a logical conclusion based on illogical conclusions.
   • For example, you have come to the conclusion that your relationship is doomed to fail. Once you determine that this is an irrational conclusion, you can argue that your relationship with the person can be restored.

Part 3 of 3: After

1. 1 Recognize your victory. Congratulate yourself after you can prevent manipulation by other people. This process requires tremendous discipline, and you should be proud of yourself.
   • On the other hand, you should forgive yourself for your mistakes. If you have reacted too violently to a particular situation, admit defeat and forgive yourself for it. Only by forgiving yourself can you let go of the negative situation.
2. 2 Be grateful for the lesson. Rather than treating a particular case as a test of patience and goodwill, tell yourself that everyone has the opportunity to learn from their mistakes in order to become better.
   • Consider each situation. Ask yourself what lessons you learned and how you can apply them in the future.
   • Over time, you will find that old wounds have healed and old views have changed.
3. 3 Share your experience. If someone is manipulating someone, go up to that person and tell him how things really are. By sharing your experience with others, you can help them start learning from their own mistakes. Plus, your relationship with this person will only grow stronger.
   • The main thing is to keep the discussion calm and friendly. You must be honest with the other person and be responsible for shifting the blame onto them.
   • Do not do this if you are dealing with a person who is manipulating you, as he is interested in making you suffer and may use the knowledge gained against you.