Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

We've all dealt with a freeloader - someone who conveniently "forgets" his wallet at home every time you go out to dinner, "loses" everything you loaned him, and always manages to get out of his share. If you want to maintain both friendship and your sanity, you will have to set strict but clear boundaries to stop the freeloader's behavior. The main thing is to be able to foresee potential situations when free-of-charge action will occur, as well as to resolve the issue with an increase in the degree of confrontation.

Steps

1. 1 Joke about their "absent-mindedness". For example, if your friend chronically "forgets" his wallet, assume that he will do so the next time you go out to dinner. Before leaving for the restaurant, smile and laugh: "Are you sure you have a wallet this time?" If he wants to borrow something that he probably won't return, you can say something like "Pretty soon you will have my entire wardrobe!" Maintain a cheerful disposition - the freeloader should understand that you are joking with him, although this is not always enough to stop him.
2. 2 At the restaurant, ask for separate receipts when you place your order. If the freeloader doesn't order anything, but then constantly tries something in your dish, cough lightly on your food and say something like, "You can't eat these nachos ...I think I got the flu. Why don't I order a separate dish for you? "When you order, ask for this dish to be on a separate receipt. If your friends think this is bad form, say something like," I am writing this off as a business account, I should have separate receipts in case I fail and be audited! "
   • Say by chance while eating that you took money, which is just enough to pay for yourself. Or tell them when you go for a walk that everyone will pay for themselves. Make sure you stick with this when you receive your bill!
3. 3 Find out the root of their financial problems. Sometimes people do get in trouble, but if you're reading this article, it's probably about a freeloader who is chronically looking for free travel and who you suspect is too lazy or too low to pay for himself. Whenever he has little cash, make it a rule to talk about money in private right after that. Be subtle, but make it clear that you've spotted their tricks so they don't feel like the freebie might slip out of sight:
   • I noticed lately that you have difficulties when we go for a walk. Is everything all right?
   • I'm a little worried about you; you seem to be running out of cash even though you just got a job / promotion. Something happened?
4. 4 Give the freeloader a fair share in advance. If you're planning a trip or a dinner party, decide who will bring what. Make a list and ask a freeloader friend what he or she will bring. If they complain about their financial situation, empathize and ask them to bring one of the less expensive items, or suggest that they cook something (which is always cheaper, but at least it takes effort). Once the freeloader sees his name on the list, it won't be easy to skimp. Just make sure he's the only one in charge of everything, so if he doesn't, it will be visible to everyone involved.
   • This would also work for a co-worker, brother, or friend who hasn't chipped in for a gift from the community (parent, boss, and so on) and still wants to write their name on a postcard. Make a list!
   • If you have a freeloader neighbor, start a whiteboard outlining household chores and expenses. Cross off the item when someone completes their task or pays their obligations. This will make it obvious that the freeloader never crosses out anything.
5. 5 Mention that it is the freeloader's turn to take care. The moment has come when this starts to take on a slightly more confrontational character. If the freeloader refuses you in any way or seems to be dodging the question, you should threaten to cancel the event, and in fact keep that in mind.
   • Since I drove the last time, can you do it now? Oh can't you? Oh well. I changed my mind about going anyway.
   • I paid the bill last week, can you pay it this week? “If you can't, that's okay. Maybe we should find ourselves something else to do. Can you pay for the billiards game?
   • Since last time we had lunch / dinner at my house, would you like to host it this time? Well, if we can't get you to host, we might need to cancel the party. I can host once, but not all the time.
6. 6 Take your revenge. Since you've helped them many times, check them out and see if they return the service. Become a freeloader yourself. Forget your wallet, ask them to lend you money, borrow their clothes and see what happens. It may not be natural for you, but you could really open up your friend's true face by doing this. Don't wait until you have really difficult situation only to find that many of your friends will leave you in trouble.
7. 7 Talk to mutual friends. If you have mutual friends with a freeloader, you can talk to them about his behavior as diplomatically as possible. It's best if you can speak together. For example, say, "Ivan is a really cool guy and he is a lot of fun to talk to, but I noticed that he really doesn't connect whenever we hang out and I'm afraid that would jeopardize our friendship. It would be great. if we could do something about it so that we don't have problems. " If you don't want to (or cannot) give up your friendship, you may need some kind of intervention. Financial issues can tear people apart, so don't let your friend's parasite habits ruin your relationship.

Tips

• If they ask to "borrow" money, just say, "I have no money for myself." Or, to avoid the possible fiction, "I have no money to borrow." It works. Freeloaders often ask you to "borrow" money, so as not to return it to you.
• Break your friendship. If they're your friends just to take advantage of you, it's probably best to end your friendship. But be sure that you really want to end your friendship, because it's hard to undo.
• Clarifythat you like that person's company and personality, but dislike certain behaviors.
• Be persistent. It takes time to change behavior, so you have to be firm about changing your response to the freeloader.

Warnings

• Follow for those who either do not pay attention to the freeloader's behavior, or actively encourage it. Make sure you treat their behavior diplomatically.
• Be careful. These tips can, in turn, hurt your friend. If you really consider the SLEDER a friend, you may want to help him from time to time.