How to emotionally detach

Video: 5 Guaranteed Ways to Emotionally Detach! (Highly Requested)

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 5: How to set boundaries
Method 2 of 5: How to step back from the situation
Method 3 of 5: How to temporarily step back from a relationship
Method 4 of 5: How to end a relationship
Method 5 of 5: Focus on yourself
Additional articles

When you are faced with a very difficult situation and it is difficult for you, perhaps the best solution is to emotionally detach. Of course, this is not a method for solving your problems, and it should not be abused. In addition, this method should not be used as a "weapon" against others or as a substitute for communication. However, if you are going through a difficult moment in your relationship, temporarily detaching yourself will help you calm down and solve this problem in the future. After all, if you just ended the relationship, you still have to gradually and permanently detach.

Steps

Method 1 of 5: How to set boundaries

1 Limit yourself from others. You set these boundaries to protect yourself. You must have emotional, mental, physical, and sexual boundaries. They can be set by parenting as you develop, or you can set them yourself by the people around you who have their own boundaries. If you have trouble organizing your time, if you are unable to control your habits or emotions, you may have set the limits incorrectly.
- If you feel overwhelmed by other people's feelings, that other people influence your self-perception too much, you may need to set new boundaries.
- If you often agree to do something you don't want to do at all, set boundaries.
- Pay attention to your feelings. Do you feel like something is going wrong? Do you have an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach or chest? This may indicate that you need to set new limits.
2 Respect your boundaries. When you know what you want or don't want, take action. Set limits for yourself: make a daily schedule, refuse to take any insults. Set boundaries with others: do not get involved in arguments, do not be pressured by others, do not let people vent their emotions on you. Say no when asked to do something that you don't feel like doing.
- Choose those with whom you will discuss your life. If you have parents, friends, and a partner who are constantly trying to control you, do not provoke them by talking too much about your life. Explain that you will be discussing something with them if they do not give you advice and direction.
3 Set boundaries for communication. If you need to establish boundaries with someone, you need to be able to communicate with that person without worrying about their reactions. This is where the emotional limitation comes from. Before you interact with someone, remind yourself that you are not responsible for how that person feels. You have the right to set a limit.
- You can set a limit on communication by talking about it, as well as using non-verbal signs. Here's a simple example: if you want someone to leave you alone, you can get up, look the person in the eyes and say directly: "Now I need to be alone."
4 Stick to your boundaries. You may face the frustration of those who are used to responding positively to their requests. Stick to your beliefs. Don't compromise. If you are accused of detachment and inattention, say, “I love you.But it wouldn't be good to pretend that I want to do something that I really don't like. "
- For example, if you set boundaries with older parents you care about but who occasionally abuse you, the parents will stop acting like that once they realize that you no longer intend to tolerate their behavior.
5 Come up with a backup plan. Try to prepare yourself for the fact that your boundaries will not always be respected. If you cannot set limits on how you communicate with someone, or if you have set limits but others do not respect them, take it upon yourself. Think about the consequences of violating your boundaries. Say, “If you start calling names, I’ll leave the room. If you take my phone, I will not be comfortable, and I will tell you everything I think about this. "
- If someone insults you or can't control their anger, set boundaries and stop communicating.
- Provide yourself with as much space as you need. If you feel an argument is building up, walk away.
- Establish a physical barrier so that no one is disturbing your privacy. For example, set a password on your computer or phone.
- If you are caring for your parents but they don't respect your boundaries, try hiring someone to take care of your parents until you calm down and come to a compromise.

Method 2 of 5: How to step back from the situation

1 Learn to recognize moments that can escalate into conflict. If you find yourself constantly arguing with someone, when you are in a certain mood, or when discussing certain topics, try to stop this conversation before you start to get angry. To do this, find “triggers” (ie triggers) and prepare for moments that can escalate into an argument. Try to stop in time and prevent triggers that anger you or someone else from developing.
- You may have noticed that your partner always argues when things go wrong at work. Therefore, during stressful everyday life, you should prepare for the fact that soon you will need to step back a little, remind yourself that during this time your partner may be in a bad mood.
- If the problem does not arise between you and someone, but because of a specific situation, deal with this situation.
- For example, you might start to panic over traffic. If that's the case, acknowledge that traffic jams give you a lot of trouble and stress.
2 Take it easy. When a difficult moment or stressful situation comes, take time to think things over and calm down. Think about what is happening and take two deep breaths. Remember that in such moments only you can control yourself, and no one else.
3 As soon as you calm down, return to the situation. To relax and calm down a bit, take as long as it takes. Take the time to understand how you are feeling. Say, “I'm angry because my mom is trying to tell me what to do. I'm upset because when I told her that, she started yelling at me. " Determine the emotions you are feeling - this will allow you to calm down.
- Return to the situation only when you can talk about your feelings, and this will not cause a new surge of emotions in you.
4 Use sentences that begin with "I". Tell me how you feel, what you want. Do not be tempted to insult or accuse the other person. You might say, “I’m wondering how you feel about this, but I’m afraid we’ll start swearing. Let's pause and then will you tell me that one more time? " Or say, “I noticed that I was beginning to get very worried about the mess in the house. It will be much better if we come up with a cleaning plan. ”
5 If you can, just walk away. If you feel that it would be best to take a break and walk away from the situation, do so.Walking around the house or just sitting in a different room will help you calm down. When alone with yourself, think about how you are feeling. If you can, describe these emotions. Try to forget your partner for a moment and only think about your feelings.
- Return to this situation when you are ready to continue the conversation. Come back relaxed, but remember that your partner may still be upset and depressed.

Method 3 of 5: How to temporarily step back from a relationship

1 Consider if you need a break. If you are unhappy with your relationship, do not rush to leave, otherwise you will lose the opportunity to find out the root of the problem. It may take you several months to figure out if your relationship can be improved. In some cases, it may be worthwhile to emotionally detach for a while in a relationship.
- For example, you might take a break if your relationship has soured due to sudden changes in your life (or your partner's life). It may take time for both of you to get used to and rebuild.
- If you and your significant other are constantly breaking up and living in a break up, break up, break up routine, consider taking a break.
- When the tension between you subsides a little, you can think carefully and decide whether to continue your relationship.
- Don't take a break until you've tried to solve your relationship problems and fix the situation. Offer to take a break from the relationship only if you feel like you're on the verge of breaking up.
2 Try to take a break without giving up on your responsibilities. If you live together, have a child, a pet, your own home, or a common business, you need to continue to be involved in these common affairs and be considerate. Taking a break means taking an emotional break from the relationship for a while, but you still need to help your partner with your common household chores.
3 Limit your physical space. If you and your partner do not have a separation of responsibilities for caring for a child, pet, home or business, you have the opportunity to be separate from each other for a while. You can go on a business trip or vacation, find a tourist group that does not imply intimate acquaintances (for example, go on a hike with a group).
4 If your partner starts questioning, explain to him that you need to focus on yourself for a while. Don't let your partner know about your plans to pull away, but if your partner asked you, tell them that you need to think about your relationship and be alone with yourself for a while. Do not use the words "break up", "break up", only if you do not use these words among yourself constantly. Say that you need time to focus on your work project, to be alone or to work.
5 Surround yourself with the support of friends. It is unfair to your partner to expect emotional support from him, while avoiding him and not showing him your feelings. Plus, it will be difficult for you to distance yourself from him. Therefore, rely in this matter on your friends and relatives, turn to them for advice and support. Trust family and friends, preferably your friends, not your friends.
6 Focus on understanding yourself. While you are taking a break from your relationship, try to focus on your feelings. Think about what needs to be changed in your relationship? Why do you feel dissatisfied? It might be worth talking to a psychologist about this. It's time to reflect on your own feelings and not criticize your partner.
- Refrain from intimacy during the break.
7 Decide what to do next. If you find that you want to continue the relationship, you may have to make an effort to get back to your partner. Chances are, you hurt her (him) with your withdrawal. Explain that you were afraid of parting, you tried to calm down and not make hasty decisions.Try to honestly talk about what you need in a relationship, listen to the needs and wants of your partner.
- If you decide it’s best to break up, extend the withdrawal period to gradually end the relationship.

Method 4 of 5: How to end a relationship

1 Take a break from your ex. If you are trying to distance yourself from someone with whom you are still on good terms, try to take a break from communication, talk less and correspond with each other. If you don't communicate, don't start. If you are still in touch, the next time you talk, mention that you need to be on your own for a while. Say, “I hope we can be friends again, but I can't start communicating right away like I used to. I need time to think".
- Spend time with other people. Enjoy the company of your friends and family.
- If you've lost friends through a breakup, or aren't sure if you should hang out with your mutual friends, pull away slowly. Try to start communicating more with the people closest to you and watch what happens.
2 Take a break from social media. Make it difficult for you to think about someone with whom you are trying to end a relationship. Set limits via social media. If you are on good terms with your ex, but are trying to distance yourself a little, you can briefly hide your account from him on the social networks that you both use. It can be helpful to avoid any photographs with your ex, and while you are upset. Also, do not follow other people's photos for a while.
- If you are in a bad relationship, you can simply block your ex or remove him or her from your friends.
- Depending on the social network, you can temporarily block notifications from a person without removing them from your friends. However, if you are worried about the possibility that you will see his updates, you need to either close your account, or remove this person from your friends.
3 Remember why your relationship ended. Every relationship is filled with fantasy. If your relationship ended, chances are there were good reasons for it. After you break up, try to remember only the good points or think about what could have been. Think about conflicts, cons, and things you couldn't do then but can do now.
- You don't need to talk badly about your partner. Just remind yourself that your time was not so easy, that if it hadn't ended, things would have only gotten worse.
- If you're having trouble remembering exactly what went wrong, try writing down every bad moment of your past relationship. Then re-read these points and take it easy.
4 Learn to forgive. After you have experienced the anger and pain of the breakup, start moving on. Let go of your anger. Feel compassion for yourself and your ex. When you find yourself feeling angry or resentful, be sure to tell yourself how you feel.
- Say, “I’m annoyed that I always cry at dinner” or, “I’m still angry that he / she never asked me what I wanted.” Or: "I am ashamed that I got excited then instead of listening to her / him."
- Write a letter. You don't have to give this letter to your ex, although you can give it if you want. Write about how you felt then, how you feel now.
- Forgiving does not mean forgetting about everything that was in the relationship. This means that you just need to let go of the anger that darkens your mind and hurts you.
5 Think about yourself. For several months or even years after the relationship ends, focus on learning to live well without a partner.After you deal with resentment, anger, and learn to forgive, start working to enjoy life again. Do things that help you find harmony, pay attention to your health, spend time with friends, try to be successful at work, and enjoy your vacation.
- If you are feeling unhappy, see a psychologist. Of course, this is not permanent, but if you become depressed due to the breakup or feel that you may harm yourself, talk to a specialist.
6 Think of it not as a loss, but as a transition. It's perfectly okay to grieve that your relationship is over, but don't allow yourself to constantly think and worry about what might have been. Instead, think about the things you learned from falling in love, dating, and breaking up with your partner. Remind yourself that your relationship wasn't necessarily a bad one, even if you broke up. Relationships can be good, but short.
7 Start dating someone when you're ready. When you really feel good about yourself, then it's time to start a new relationship. To find out if you are ready for them, ask yourself if you are still angry with your ex, if you want to be with him, if you feel unattractive, if you are offended and upset. If you don't feel any of this, chances are you are ready to start a new relationship.

Method 5 of 5: Focus on yourself

1 Understand that only you can control yourself. You can try to influence the actions and reactions of the people around you, but when all is said and done, everyone draws their own conclusions and makes their own decisions. And the only person whose behavior, thoughts and feelings you can control is you.
- Just as you cannot control another person, no one else can control you.
- Recognize that the only power over you is the power you give the other person over yourself.
2 Speak using sentences that begin with "I". Get in the habit of talking about negative feelings and emotions on your behalf. Instead of saying that someone or something is upsetting you, rephrase your complaint and say, "I feel unhappy because ..." or, "It makes me feel upset."
- Such sentences that begin with "I" will slightly turn your way of thinking, help you mentally distinguish yourself, as a person, from this situation. This separation will really help you to emotionally detach yourself from the other people involved in the situation.
- In addition, sentences starting with "I" will help defuse a tense situation, because with their help you convey your feelings and thoughts without blaming anyone.
3 Back off. Physical detachment will help you achieve emotional detachment. As soon as you can, move away from the person or situation that bothers you. You don't have to leave forever, just pull back for a while until you calm down and think.
4 Take time for yourself regularly. When you are faced with relationship problems or some stressful situation that you cannot solve or follow through, develop the habit of taking some time for yourself to recover from the upsetting situation. Just take some time for yourself, even if you feel like you are in control for now.
- For example, if you want to relieve stress at work when you get home, take a few minutes to meditate or some other way to relax.
- Alternatively, you can take a few minutes during your lunch break to do something you enjoy, like reading a book or going for a walk.
- For a few minutes, imagine that a kind of bubble separates you from the whole world, in which you find peace and harmony before returning to the world.
5 Learn to love yourself. You are as significant as every other person. Remember, your needs and self-love are very valuable and you need to do whatever you can to keep yourself feeling. You may sometimes have to compromise, but you need to make sure that you are not the only one going against your interests.
- Loving yourself means taking care of your needs and goals. If you have a goal that you will need to get an education to achieve, do your best, regardless of whether your parents, friends, and partner agree with your decision. However, be prepared to do it alone.
- Loving yourself also means finding sources of happiness for yourself. Remember that you should never rely on someone else to make you happy.
- If you feel like your partner or other person is the only source of happiness, consider setting some limits on how you interact with them.