Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: How to react to the situation as a parent
• Part 2 of 3: How to Respond to a Teacher's Situation
• Part 3 of 3: How to Solve More Difficult Problems
• Tips

Children often tend to be disrespectful in situations when they don't like something or in case of problems.Typically, the child is just trying to get attention or test your patience. The most important thing in this situation is to remain calm and continue to treat the child with respect. Try to identify and discuss the reasons for the inappropriate behavior.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: How to react to the situation as a parent

1. 1 Point out the inappropriate behavior right away. If the child has shown disrespect, you must immediately point out the inappropriateness of such an act. If you ignore your child's actions, they will continue to grab your attention.
   • For example, you are at home talking on the phone. The child interrupts you all the time. You can say, "Darling, I see that you are trying to get attention, but right now I am busy and you have to wait. Be quiet." The child will understand that you have noticed his actions and what you expect from him.
2. 2 Explain the reasons. If you just ask the child not to indulge, then he will not understand why he should do this. Explain to the children why their behavior is unacceptable or disrespectful. This is the only way to convince the child of the need for good manners.
   • Let's go back to our phone example. If your child continues to interrupt you, say, “I'm on the phone right now.
   • You can also suggest an alternative. For example, say, "Wait for a break in my conversation if you really need something from me."
3. 3 Explain the consequences. If the child does not listen to your arguments and continues to indulge, you should explain the consequences that await him. If the child does not stop, bring these consequences to life.
   • Never forget to do what you promised. If you tell the child that trouble awaits him, and then forget about his words, then he will continue to indulge. Always inform your child about the consequences that you are ready to realize.
   • It is best to choose a punishment that is directly related to inappropriate behavior.
4. 4 Choose appropriate measures. If you decide to punish your child, choose only appropriate punishments. Not all methods are effective. They should depend on the age and severity of the child's misconduct.
   • Isolation and physical punishment are discouraging. For example, you don't need to lock your child in their room or spank them. Children, especially small children, are afraid of corporal punishment, and when isolated, the child does not have the opportunity to develop under your supervision. Ideally, punishment should teach your child how to communicate, find a common language with you, and behave correctly. When isolated, he will not understand why his behavior was wrong.
   • Think less about punishment and more about consequences. Choose reasonable consequences. If you take a favorite toy from a child, then he will not understand why you should not interrupt others. The consequences should be applied immediately after the misconduct. The consequences should explain what exactly was wrong in the child's behavior. For example, if he prevents you from speaking on the phone, then the point is that he does not respect your time. Get your child to do some small work that you usually do yourself (such as sweeping the floor) to show the value of your time when you are very busy with household chores and work.

Part 2 of 3: How to Respond to a Teacher's Situation

1. 1 Tell your child what to do. It is better for a teacher, especially for elementary grades, to show an example of correct behavior than to scold a child for self-indulgence. In case of bad behavior, he should hear clear and understandable instructions.
   • If the child misbehaves, explain how he should behave. Then answer the question why your behavior is better.
   • For example, during a trip to the pool, one of the students is running around the area. Don't tell him: "Misha, don't run." Better say: "Misha, walk carefully. The floor is slippery, you can fall and get injured." Children are more receptive to new instructions than accusations of bad or inappropriate behavior.
2. 2 Encourage your child to "cool down." There is no need to kick children out of class, as isolation makes young children even more upset. The opportunity to calm down will help the child find a way out of this situation. If one of the children misbehaves due to stress or overexertion, invite him to cool down.
   • Create a private and cozy place in the classroom where the children can sit down and relax if they misbehave. Use pillows, photo albums, books, stuffed animals, and other supplies.
   • The bottom line is that you are not punishing the child. He realizes the need for better emotional control in order to participate in the activity. So he is not isolated from the whole class in another room, but is nearby in a calm atmosphere.
   • Discipline and discipline must carry the ability to learn. Contact your child if you have a free minute. Explain why you shouldn't behave this way. Together, think about what he should do next time when emotions flood again.
   • This approach can be used not only at school, but also at home. Parents should choose a place in the house in which the child can calm down if he finds it difficult to control emotions.
3. 3 Maintain a positive attitude. Use only positive affirmations. Children are often disrespectful when they feel disrespectful to themselves. You should not say, "I will not help you with this situation until you yourself try to find a way out." The child may feel that you are judging him for the wrong attempts. Better to say: "I think it will be useful for you to first try to solve the problem yourself. After that, I will definitely help you." In such a phrase, the child will see support and understand that you treat him like other adults.
4. 4 Don't take situations personally. If a child treats you badly or disrespectfully, you don't need to take it personally. Teachers are often upset when students are rude or misbehaving. It is possible that the child wants to show his independence or suffers from a problem and simply takes out the resentment on the adult.
   • Children are often hasty in their actions. If a child says, "I hate you," this is not necessarily true. Children often show disrespect to parents and elders to test the structure of hierarchy and authority.
   • Do not be distructed. Better to focus on the behavior that needs to be corrected.
5. 5 Get help. If the situation does not get better, then sometimes you need to seek help. Perhaps the child does not want to talk about his problem with you, or he needs to speak out in case of problems at home. Talk to the principal or school counselor if you think personal problems are preventing your child from learning.

Part 3 of 3: How to Solve More Difficult Problems

1. 1 Try to be proactive. Often, the best disciplinary action is to simply try to prevent the problem. Strive to create an atmosphere in school or at home where your child does not want to misbehave. Notice the factors that trigger bad behavior. Try to change these aspects so that the child is comfortable.
   • Notice the irritants that trigger outbursts of anger. For example, a three-year-old might always throw a tantrum if you're in the grocery store for more than an hour. The most common cause of hysteria is hunger, fatigue, fear, or confusion in the child. You need to understand that an hour for a three-year-old child lasts longer than for you. How can you make the situation easier for your baby? Perhaps you need to bring some toys? If you need to linger, it is best to leave the child with a nanny.
   • Let your child control some aspects. If the request is not unreasonable, then sometimes it is better to grant the child's request. Show your respect and don't get into a power struggle. For example, your daughter likes a summer dress, but autumn has come and the weather has turned chilly.Do not forbid her to wear a dress, but offer to wear it along with a warm jacket and tights.
   • When the child is indulging, think about what measures you have taken to prevent this situation. What provoked the act? In what aspects can you make concessions to your child? How can such a problem be avoided in the future.
   • If you find it difficult, then seek advice from a child psychologist.
2. 2 Seek to understand the causes of bad behavior. It is impossible to set the right boundaries or find suitable measures if you do not understand the reasons for the child's behavior. Try to get into the child's way of thinking and understand the reasons for his actions.
   • If your child is upset, try to understand him emotionally. Tell your child, "You are very angry. Why?"
   • There may be reasons you haven't thought of. Seek to understand the reasons in order to assess the situation. For example, if a child cries every night when you put him to bed, then it may be due to fear of the dark. Perhaps the child was frightened by the footage he saw on the TV screen. Next time, try not to swear, but discuss with your child the reasons for his fear and convince him that it is safe at home.
3. 3 Teach your child to empathize. The goal of upbringing is to teach a child to do the right thing, and not just scold for bad behavior. One of the most important aspects to teach a child is the ability to empathize. When he is indulging, explain to your child why the behavior hurts other people.
   • If your child misbehaves, explain why it hurts others. For example, if your son stole a pencil from a classmate and broke it, then say: "I know how much you like your bunny pen. How would you feel if it was taken from you without asking?" The child must answer your question. Teach your child to understand the feelings of others in similar situations.
   • If the child does not take into account someone else's point of view, then tell him to apologize. People often force the child to apologize without evaluating the situation, as a result of which he simply repeats the words of adults. Convince the child to first understand the reason for the apology in order to teach him to empathize.
4. 4 Give an example of appropriate behavior. A role model is one of the best ways to teach a child to behave correctly. Do what you want your child to do. Show good manners. Treat people with kindness. Remain calm during stressful situations. Discuss your emotions openly and show your child how to behave constructively and correctly in times of sadness, anger, and other negative emotions.
5. 5 Don't make assumptions. If the child misbehaves, but you do not need to guess about the reasons. Do not assume that he simply does not know how to respect others. Talk to your child to understand the problem. The danger of making assumptions is that if you make a mistake, you will not treat your child the way you should in a given situation. If you mistakenly think that your child is simply out of sorts, you are not giving him the love he needs. If you decide that the child is faced with a difficult problem, there is a desire to forgive him for the mistake. Be consistent in your actions and the consequences for the child after bad behavior, but strive to find out the reasons.
6. 6 Don't start a power struggle. A power struggle occurs when two people try to figure out who is in charge. Sure, the child should feel your authority and respect the adults, but behave calmly and respectfully. You do not need to raise your voice, shout and answer the same way as a child is talking to you. Children throw a tantrum because they have not yet learned how to solve the problem differently. Understand and try to satisfy the child's need, rather than force him to blindly follow the rules.
   • Show that you can solve the problem together without fighting among themselves. Sit down and talk about the situation and consider what you can do.If your child continues to behave disrespectfully with you and refuses to maintain an adult conversation, then give him time to cool down so as not to get involved in a new argument.
   • Don't let your child manipulate you. Children try to bargain or manipulate adults to get what they want, but act decisively and calmly.
7. 7 Encourage good deeds. If you want your child to behave better, then encourage good behavior. Praise your children for making a difference. This will help them understand what to do in order to behave correctly.
   • Focus on the aspect that needs to be changed. For example, a child often interrupts others. Explain the disadvantages of this behavior and watch for small changes. Parents often set the bar too high and expect instant change. Start noticing small changes for the better.
   • Let's say you are on the phone and your son interrupts you again, but this time he stops talking after your first request, and does not continue to bore you. Despite the mistake, the child makes an attempt to improve.
   • When the conversation is over, praise the child for making this change. Say: "Vanya, I really appreciate your attempts not to indulge when I ask about it." Over time, the child will understand how to behave in different situations and will make the right decisions.

Tips

• If a parent is worried about the child's behavior, it is helpful to call the school and find out how he is behaving in class.
• Don't let your child throw you off balance. Do not shout and speak in your normal voice.