How to be a loner and enjoy it

Content

Steps
Method 1 of 3: Be a Happy Loner
Method 2 of 3: Finding and Spending Time Alone
Method 3 of 3: Go Somewhere Alone
Tips
Warnings

It is believed that half of the world's population are introverts (sometimes called "loners"). Despite these statistics, it seems that society believes that something is wrong with us, "hermits". Fortunately, the truth is that many people enjoy being alone and would rather curl up on the couch and watch a movie than go to a big party. If you are a loner, take steps to acknowledge this to yourself, find ways to be alone with yourself, and learn to enjoy the outdoors without company. And then you will understand that you are a normal person, just the way you are, and that there are many other people like you in the world.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Be a Happy Loner

1 Consider why you enjoy being alone. If you start thinking that you might need to try to be more sociable, or worry that something might be wrong with you, remind yourself why you enjoy being alone. If necessary, you can make a list of the reasons why being alone makes you happy. You can come back to this list every time you feel insecure.
- For example, many "loners" spend time alone with themselves, doing some kind of creativity or just relaxing with a good book. This allows them to "recharge their energy."
2 Appreciate your strengths. Some people may look at the extrovert as the ideal person. However, more and more research points to the virtues of introversion. For example, according to some reports, introverts can be great leaders because they give their people a little more freedom to try out new ideas. In addition, they are better at listening to others.
- An extrovert is a person who depends on social interaction and new experiences that he needs to energize, while an introvert is one who is more focused on his inner world. An introvert needs to spend time alone and often feels like a squeezed lemon after intense social interaction.
- There is a strong connection between introversion and creativity. Keep in mind that many famous artists, writers and scientists were considered loners, such as J.K. Rowling, Emily Dickinson and Isaac Newton.
3 Accept yourself for who you are. One of the key things you need to do to be a happy loner is to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Surely there are certain things you can do to become more social if you feel like it. However, if you are truly happy with yourself, why change anything?
- When you notice that you are beginning to criticize yourself, try to switch your mindset from negative to positive. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “People think I'm a failure because I don't go to parties,” remind yourself why going to parties is hard for you. For example: “I know people don’t understand how tiring big parties are for me, but I like being at home, so I don’t have to worry about what others think.”
4 Learn from criticism and ignore everything else. Dealing with people who criticize you can be challenging. Especially if the critic of your lifestyle is the one whose opinion you value. At some point, this person may even reproach you for the fact that you enjoy spending time alone. Take a moment to determine if you can learn something from this person, or if he simply does not understand why you like to be alone, since he is not like you.
- He may be saying that you are not trying enough to be sociable, or that something is wrong with you. If you think the person who criticizes you is really trying to help you, you should listen.
- If you are not indifferent to the criticizing person, then you should try to explain to him that you are who you are, that you need time for yourself to recover. For example, you might say something like, “Going to parties and having a lot of friends is what you enjoy. I am happy with who I am and I am enjoying my life. ”
- If you are criticized by someone you don't know very well, or whose opinion you don't value as much, just ignore their words. Remember, what he says is a reflection of his own thoughts and beliefs, not an indication of what is right and what is wrong.
5 Develop relationships that matter to you. You may be a loner, but you should have a couple of close friends or family that you can rely on for social support. Take the time to nurture this relationship so that you have social support in times of need.
- If you don't have friends at all and don't feel the need for them, then don't worry about it. However, there should be at least one person in your life (such as a family member) that you can rely on when / if times get tough.

Method 2 of 3: Finding and Spending Time Alone

1 Give up social media. If you spend a huge amount of time on various social networks, try to limit yourself. There is ample evidence that social media forces us to compare our lives with those we see there, and this often instills in us a sense of inferiority.
- When browsing social networks, remember that people post only the best moments of their lives there and often exaggerate their achievements.
2 Create your own personal space. If you live with other people, then most likely you have your own bedroom. You can turn it into your personal space and fill it with things that give you joy and a sense of security. If you share your room with siblings or neighbors, finding a secluded spot may not be easy. In this case, there may be a pantry or a small place where no one comes in and where you can spend some time alone with yourself.
- Outside your home, you can also find a place that provides you with privacy. However, there is no guarantee that you will not run into another person there. Parks often have good places to go and where you won't be disturbed.
- If you have your own room where you can retreat, close the door when you want to be alone. If that doesn't stop others, place a sign on the door asking you not to be disturbed.
3 Get up earlier or go to bed later. If you can't find some quiet place to be alone - not in the house or anywhere near - try waking up an hour or two earlier than the rest. If this is not possible, go to bed a little later. Hopefully this will give you at least a few minutes to enjoy the loneliness and not be disturbed by your parents, siblings and / or roommates.
- However, be careful when taking this step. Going to bed earlier or getting up earlier means reducing sleep by several hours. Sleep is very important to physical and emotional health, so don't sacrifice many hours in the name of loneliness.
- Use this time to do whatever brings you joy. For example, get creative, meditate, or deal with work you can't do when everyone is on their feet.

Method 3 of 3: Go Somewhere Alone

1 Go and do what you like. Getting out of the house can be difficult for introverts - they think they'll look weird doing things alone. However, if you think about it, there are many different things that you can do alone and have a lot of fun.
- Going to the movies is a great activity that you can do alone. Select the movie you want to watch, stock up on popcorn and enjoy watching. Going to the cinema with other people is also fun and funny, but if you think about it, it's pretty silly, because you still don't talk to each other throughout the entire movie.
- Go to different coffee shops. Coffee houses have become very popular over the past few years, and more and more are appearing every day. Get a book, or if you like drawing, a sketchbook. Order a delicious coffee or tea and just enjoy a couple of hours away from home.
- Go to restaurants you have long wanted to visit. If you know one, then there is no reason to feel embarrassed about going there alone. If you are worried that people will throw goggles at you, just try to go to a restaurant during low-traffic times.
- Go for a walk or run. Another great thing to do alone is just going outside and enjoying nature. Going for a walk or jog in a nearby park will benefit not only you, but your health as well.
2 Wear a book or wear headphones. Another reason a loner gets nervous when going out is the likelihood that someone will try to talk to him. If you want to avoid this, wear headphones or carry a book with you to read in queues or when traveling on public transport. This will discourage people from starting empty conversations with you.
- However, this does not fully guarantee that no one will speak to you. Some of the more outgoing people can be difficult to stop. If someone you don't want to chat with starts a conversation with you, keep it short and don't ask questions that might keep the conversation going.
3 Enjoy the moment. If you are not used to going outside and doing something alone, you may feel like everyone is staring at you, not allowing you to enjoy what you are doing. Try to remember, the likelihood that someone is really interested in what you are doing and why is extremely small. Once you start spending more and more time outside the home on your own, you will realize that most people are living their lives. Although it will take some time, when you go outside, focus on the sensations of your activity instead of thinking about how others are feeling.
- If you cannot concentrate only on yourself, then going somewhere alone can seem as exhausting to you as with other people.
4 Try to hang out with strangers from time to time. Depending on whether you are working or studying, it can be quite easy for you not to communicate with anyone for several days or weeks. For example, if you work from home, you may not speak to anyone at all. And while you may be comfortable with it, there is evidence that occasional communication is beneficial for everyone (even singles).
- It doesn't have to be a long conversation. You can just chat with someone in class or with a person in a coffee shop for a couple of minutes. For example, you might discuss with your classmate how difficult the test was, or ask the barista what drink he likes to make the most.

Tips

Remember that the only problem an introvert can face is self-acceptance. If you enjoy being yourself and are happy to be who you are, then there is no reason to doubt that something is wrong with you.

Warnings

Find your own way of communicating, whatever it may be. There is a big difference between being lonely and being lonely, but lack of social support can cause intense stress and anxiety. Make sure you have someone to rely on when needed.