Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Support
• Part 2 of 3: Help
• Part 3 of 3: An example to follow

The nature of your relationship with your younger brother or sister plays an important role. Parents can be good role models, but it is the relationship between siblings that allows you to become a responsible and successful person. Support your brother or sister, show courtesies, and be a good example to follow and emulate.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Support

1. 1 Learn to listen. Perhaps one of the easiest ways to become a good older brother or sister is to take an interest in the life of the younger family member and listen carefully to the answers. Each day, try to seize an opportunity to briefly discuss your brother or sister's affairs, especially if they are still in their teens or early teens. Often the attention and recognition of a person whom they respect is very important for them.
   • Learn to actively listen to responses during heart-to-heart conversations and short exchanges. View each conversation as an opportunity to learn new things, to better understand your brother or sister, and to discuss pressing issues.
   • Focus on your brother or sister and don't interrupt. Show your attention and answer thoughtfully, but without judgment. This attitude will help your brother or sister trust you.
2. 2 Resolve conflicts maturely and with dignity. Brothers and sisters often quarrel over trifles, but try to avoid serious fights. Sometimes it takes generosity to allow a younger brother or sister to gain the upper hand in a minor argument. Also offer compromises that allow both parties to get some of what they want. So the younger brother or sister will feel your support and respect, but they will understand that the person does not always get what they want.
   • When and if you cannot resolve the conflict on your own, seek advice from an older friend, family member, or parent. Show that you are not afraid to ask for help when needed.
3. 3 Encourage your brother or sister in times of difficulty and setback. In the life of every person there is a place for trials and problems, and on the way to great achievements there are obstacles or failures. Do not try to shame your brother or sister if you fail, or make you feel bad about it. Instead, offer them support and comfort.
   • Tell them to hold their heads high and be proud of themselves, even if the result is far from what they want. Remind you that there will still be plenty of room for improvement.
   • You can also try to distract your sister or brother from failure and invite them to their favorite cafe or other place. This will help them to cheer up and not dwell on the mistake.
4. 4 Respect personal boundaries and independence. Teach your brother or sister to set boundaries and be self-reliant to show by example how to respect yourself and others. Try not to tickle or touch your brother or sister without consent to maintain privacy. It is also necessary to respect psychological boundaries - do not impose your opinions or ideas, do not try to control their thoughts.
   • Do not force a child or teen to grow up too quickly or to fulfill the responsibilities of an adult. Allow your sister or brother to live a teenage life, even if you have to make mistakes and get into conflict situations. Provide support when needed.
   • If a sibling is interested in adult activities such as having a meal together, this is perfectly fine, but don't force them to do adult activities that are not of interest to them.
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   William Gardner, PsyD

   
   
   Clinical Psychologist Dr. William Gardner, Psy.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Financial District, California. With over 10 years of clinical experience, he offers individually tailored psychotherapy for adults using cognitive-behavioral techniques to help alleviate symptoms and improve overall mental functioning. He received his degree in psychology from Stanford University in 2009 with a specialization in evidence-based practice. Then he trained at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Center.

   William Gardner, PsyD
   Clinical psychologist

   Our expert confirms: “It is important to accept the fact that your brothers and sisters are separate individuals. Do not try to impose your values ​​on them, otherwise problems will arise between you. All people are different, even if they are brought up in the same family. Everyone has their own life and views. "

   
   
5. 5 Give advice based on personal experience. Appropriate advice will also show your support, but there is no need to advise anything when you are not asked to. Give advice and guidance only in case of a direct question, and remember to listen to your brother or sister first. General and vague advice is useless, so use your own experience of successful solutions to various problems. Show empathy and genuine support.
   • For example, if your sister or brother is struggling to find a balance between study and play, advise them to set up a weekly schedule of activities and set aside time for each activity.
   • If you are being asked for romantic advice and you have had such experience, encourage your brother or sister to talk about your feelings and situation. Offer them good advice on how to build healthy and responsible romantic relationships.

Part 2 of 3: Help

1. 1 Help your brother or sister with homework and other responsibilities. If you wish to be kind to a younger sister or brother, offer help with school matters. Does your sister need to prepare an oral presentation? Offer to be the first listener. If your brother is having trouble solving a math problem, try solving it together. Focus on practical help - share your knowledge of the subject or help get the project done on time.
   • You can also help with household chores or share responsibilities when your sister or brother has a busy school schedule.
2. 2 Come to performances and competitions. Perhaps your brother or sister is in a play or sports. Come and support them in the hall or at the stadium. This will show your support and love.
3. 3 Take the side of your brother or sister in difficult situations. Older siblings must look after the younger ones and stand up for them in difficult situations.Protect them in fights with school bullies or mediate disputes with parents. Try to be on the side of your sister or brother and suggest ways to solve the problem. Such help will show that they can count on your support.
4. 4 Motivate your brother or sister to follow your interests and goals. A good older brother or sister is a role model and motivates younger ones to get better. Pay attention to the abilities and talents of your sister or brother and actively help them become better in such areas.
   • For example, if your sister is interested in drawing, invite her to enroll in an art school or set up a home studio.
   • If your brother wants to go to a prestigious university, then help him prepare and apply.

Part 3 of 3: An example to follow

1. 1 Study well and help around the house. Become a role model in school and household chores. Your younger sister or brother will surely notice your progress in school and other responsibilities like sports and household chores. Pay proper attention to your personal needs and responsibilities to become a good mentor. The better you do your job, the more you can help and support your brother or sister.
   • Don't be afraid to make a mistake in the presence of a brother or sister. So they will understand that you are an ordinary person. This will make them respect you even more and look to you in different situations.
2. 2 Lead a healthy social life. Another way to become a good role model is to lead an active and healthy social life. Your communication with friends will show your sister or brother how to get along with different people.
   • If your brother or sister is having a hard time making friends, invite them to your friends' meeting. This will help them understand their importance to you and learn how to interact with people.
3. 3 Respect your parents and elders. Communicate politely with parents and other elders, such as teachers or the parents of your friends. Treating your elders with courtesy will make you a good role model and show the importance of respect.
4. 4 Apologize and admit you were wrong. A good role model will always admit mistakes and sincerely apologize. If you make a mistake, ask for forgiveness and admit you were wrong. Always show your brother or sister the value of apologizing and the importance of genuinely admitting mistakes by example. This makes them realize that it’s okay to be wrong, but mistakes must be admitted to correct the situation.