Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Autistic people can be overwhelmed by the strong sensory or emotional impact. When this happens, they often need someone to gently lead them to a quiet place in order to calm down. Here are some ways you can help an autistic person when they are grieving.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Take the first steps

1. 

   Take a moment to reassure yourself. When you can maintain a calm attitude, you will help the autistic person feel calmer.
   • Maintain a calm and understanding attitude. Show the kindness you would expect others to do for you if you have a problem.
   • Never yell, scold, or punish an autistic person for grief. They didn't do it on purpose, so being ruthless would only make the situation worse. If you can't control yourself, it's better to leave instead of making the situation worse.

2. 

   
   
   Ask what the problem is, if the other person is willing to talk. Sometimes they are overwhelmed, and need some quiet time. At other times, they may be experiencing difficult emotions related to something in life (such as grades in class or a fight with a friend).
   • When you are severely emotionally overwhelmed, the person you can normally talk to will suddenly lose the ability to talk. This is due to the over-stimulation, and it will go away when they have time to relax. If someone loses the ability to speak, you should only ask a yes / no question so that they can respond by hand gestures up and down.

3. 

   
   
   Take them to a quiet place. Or, encourage everyone to leave the room. Explain that sudden noise and movement are difficult for an autistic person right now, and they'll be happy to go out again sometime.

4. 

   
   
   Ask if they want you around. Sometimes, they may want you to be around and to keep them calm. At other times, they may want to be alone for a while. Either way, don't take it as your fault.
   • If they can't talk right now, let them respond by hand gestures up and down. Or, you could say "Do you want me to stay or leave?" and point to the floor and the door, then let them point to where they want you to be.
   • If your young child wants to be alone, you can sit in the next room and do something silent (such as playing on the phone or reading a book) to keep the adult present.

5. 

   Help them do the difficult things. When stressed, they will not be able to think clearly, and will have difficulty doing simple things, such as taking off a tight sweater or grabbing a glass of water. Help them, but don't invade their personal space.
   • If they tug on the cramped suit, offer to help them take it off. (Don't try to undress them without permission, as it can panic and upset them).
   • If they try to drink water from the pot, get them a glass.

6. 

   Ensure safety if they smash, swing, or throw things. Remove dangerous or fragile things from their view. Place a folded pillow or jacket under their head for protection, or put their head on your lap if it is safe.
   • If they were to throw things, perhaps the act of throwing things calmed them. Try giving them something that can be safely thrown (like a pillow). Let them throw it away, then put it back so they can throw it away again. This can soothe them.
   • If you feel unsafe around them, leave. Let them continue until they are calm and exhausted.

7. 

   Ask for help if you don't know what to do. Parents, teachers, and guardians will know how to help. They will have an understanding of the specific needs of an autistic person.
   • Police are often not trained to help an autistic person when they lose their temper, and they can make the situation worse or hurt your loved one. Instead, ask someone the autistic person knows and trust.
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Method 2 of 3: Use emotional reassuring techniques

1. 

   Reduces sensory effects to help an autistic person who is under pressure. Usually, autistic people have problems with sensory effects; they listen, feel, and see things more intensely than others. It was as if the intensity for everything had been increased.
   • Turn off distracting devices, such as televisions or radios (unless the autistic person tells you they want to turn on them).
   • Try to dim the sieve.
   • Let them hide in small areas if they want to. For example, if they want to hide in a closet or kitchen cabinet with their phone, let them do it. (You just need to make sure they can get out on their own.)

2. 

   Only touch if they agree. Hold them, rub their shoulders, and show affection. Touch firmly, rather than lightly, as this will help them feel more secure. This can help calm them down. If they say or show that they don't like being touched, don't take it as your fault; It was simply because they couldn't stand the touch right now.
   • You can give them a hug by opening your arms wide and see if they come to you.
   • If you hug them, and they freeze or shy away, let them go. Maybe they can't take the sensory impact of a hug right now, or perhaps your clothes have features that make them uncomfortable.

3. 

   Try massaging the autistic person when they want to be touched. Many autistic people have benefited from massage therapy. Help them get in a comfortable position, gently press their temples, massage their shoulders, rub their back, or feet. You should maintain gentle, gentle, and careful movements.
   • They may point you to exactly where they want you to touch, such as pointing your hand to your back or squeezing your face.

4. 

   Let them safely repeat something as much as they need to. Repetitive action means a series of repetitive movements that are considered as calming mechanisms for an autistic person. Some examples of repetitive actions include clapping, clicking your tongue, and shaking your tongue. Repetitive action is an effective self-reassuring mechanism during emotional stress.
   • If they hurt themselves, consider if you can redirect them to do something safer (like hitting the seat pad instead of hitting the head).
   • Don't stop them, no matter what they're doing. Hugging an autistic person when they don't want to is dangerous, especially if the person is on fight-or-flight mode. Both of you will be seriously injured when the autistic person tries to escape.

5. 

   Offer to help soothe their body. If the person is sitting, stand behind and wrap your arms around their chest. Tilt your head and place your chin above their head. You can give them a hug, and ask if they want you to hug them tighter. This is called the "deep pressure" method that helps them relax and feel better. advertisement

Method 3 of 3: Use verbal methods

1. 

   Ask them if they want you to give them a relaxation exercise. If the cause of the stress is emotional (non-sensory), a relaxation exercise can help calm the person enough to talk. If they agree to a relaxation exercise, try helping them with one of the following exercises:
   • The sensory background: Ask them to list 5 things they see right now, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell (or something they want to smell), And a good thing about themselves. Use your fingers to count them.
   • Breathing box: Ask them to inhale and count to 4, hold and count to 4, exhale and count to 4, rest and count to 4, and then repeat.

2. 

   Listen to and acknowledge their feelings if they want to talk about their problems. Sometimes, people just want to get their word out and be heard. Let them talk if they want to discuss the issue. Here are a few examples of what you can say:
   • "I'm here to listen if you want to talk."
   • "You just relax. I'm not going anywhere".
   • "I'm sorry that you encountered that."
   • "It sounds difficult."
   • "Of course I'm sad. I'm in a really tough situation. It's only natural to be stressed out."

3. 

   Let them cry. Sometimes, people just need to "sob" and express their feelings.
   • Try saying "Crying is normal" or "You should cry. I'm always here".

4. 

   Give needed comfort. You can bring a comforting item, offer to play a song they like, care about, or do something you know will help the autistic person feel calmer.
   • What has a soothing effect will vary depending on the situation. If they refuse the hug to choose to listen to their favorite song and swing with it, don't take it as your fault. They know what they need right now.
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Advice

• Even if they don't talk, you can chat with them. Be reassuring and talk to them in a warm voice. This can help calm them down.
• Verbal reassurance helps, but if it doesn't work, stop and sit quietly.
• Withdraw all requests and orders, as pressure is usually created by overstimulation. That's why a quiet room (when available) is so effective.
• Some children want to be held or rocked when they are sad.
• If the other person is calm enough afterward, ask what is causing them to collapse. Once you know the information, adjust your surroundings accordingly.

Warning

• Don't scold a person for losing his temper. Even though the person is most likely to know that public impatience is unacceptable, anger quickly increases into tension and cannot be controlled.
• Loss of temper / demise has never been a ploy to get attention. Don't take it as a mere anger. They are difficult to control, and often make an autistic person feel ashamed or regretful.
• Never leave someone alone unless you live in a safe and familiar environment.
• Never hit the enemy.
• Never yell at the other person. Remember that they have autism, so this may be the only way to express frustration.