Content

• Steps

The urge to cling to the past can overwhelm you, especially if you are haunted by an intense pain, trauma, or shame. However, letting go of the past is beneficial for you, and is essential if you want to enjoy life. Really moving forward means having a positive attitude, being flexible in the circumstances, accepting yourself and / or forgiving others.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Build a positive attitude

1. 

   Take a step back. To confront and say goodbye to the past, you must think about it from an objective point of view. Reflect on your past, and try to find out exactly what is holding you back. Common causes come in many forms:
   • Physical lust (Example: sexual or physical obsession or shame)
   • Aversion (Example: past pain that caused you to avoid someone or an opportunity)
   • Wicked mind (Mindful to harm or cause trouble to others)
   • Anxiety / confusion and anxiety
   • Lack of motivation or energy
   • Doubt

2. 

   
   
   Give up false beliefs. A deeply ingrained belief often drives our actions and thoughts in a powerful direction. If you have difficulty leaving the past, conscious or unconscious beliefs may be the cause. Challenging and changing these beliefs can help move you forward.
   • For example, you could tell yourself that you want a fixed income to feel happy. However, pursuing this goal may be preventing you from enjoying what you really enjoy, such as a hobby or spending time with family. Test your beliefs, be determined to spend more time in other areas of your life, and re-examine your feelings.
   • Changing deeply ingrained beliefs can be very difficult, especially when they are influenced by factors such as culture, family, and religion. Give yourself time to change your beliefs, and talk to a friend or counselor if you need help.

3. 

   
   
   Accept change. Going forward in life can be a scary thing. However, instead of fearing the unknown, accept change as part of your life and who you are. Focus on thinking about change as a positive force:
   • For example, if you lose your job, maintain an optimistic attitude by thinking about it as an opportunity to accumulate new skills and experience in another position or job.

4. 

   
   
   Meditate or pray. The strong emotional response caused by pain, regret, and other causes of stress in the past can persistently impact the mind. A calm and balanced mind is essential when letting go of the past. Meditation and / or prayer can help stabilize and focus your mind.
   • Mindfulness meditation helps people to focus on the present. It basically involves focusing on your breath as you try to get rid of all the disturbing thoughts from your mind.
   • If you have or are open about your personal beliefs or religious beliefs, prayer can be very helpful. If you are following a certain belief / belief, you can pray. Or, you can pray in your own words, read silently or read aloud.

5. 

   Write about the past. Journaling or other forms of writing (like personal blogging) can be a great way to accept the past and move forward. Try writing about the things that upset you, ever hurt you, or what you think is hindering you. The experience of self-expression can help relieve you. Because you only write for yourself, don't worry about what other people will think or say, thereby building your confidence. advertisement

Method 2 of 4: Accept yourself

1. 

   Forgive yourself. You may have a tendency to hide your painful past and pretend it doesn't exist. However, fighting against the past can drain you of energy. Start by forgiving yourself rather than just intentionally or unintentionally criticizing yourself.
   • Try saying to yourself: "I know I didn't live up to the person I wanted, because X. I admit that and want to focus on moving forward."
   • Give yourself time to heal. Instead of saying to yourself, "My heart will never heal," say, "All pain fades and passes with time."
   • Perhaps you can never completely get over some problems, like the permanent death of a loved one or the pain of betrayal. But as long as you accept the thought that you are allowed to move forward, the wound can still heal to some extent.

2. 

   Admission. Sometimes it provides the comfort you need to start moving. If you've hurt someone, been the victim, did something that you regret or embarrassed, or are struggling with any other pain, talk to a trusted friend, a counselor. , or a spiritualist.

3. 

   Sorry. To hurt someone else can make someone feel guilty or ashamed. Taking the time to apologize to the person you have hurt means acknowledging the person's pain and at the same time giving yourself an opportunity to relieve yourself. Be sincere and clear when apologizing to others, and express a wish to improve the situation.
   • For example, if you suddenly criticize your spouse, take the time to say: “I know you hurt me when I did / said X. It's my fault, I don't deserve it, and I really sorry. How can I make things better? ”

4. 

   Compensation for damage. Unsuccessful business, debt, and other circumstances can cause serious psychological harm. If you want a clean conscience, let go of the past and move on, you need to do something to make up for it.
   • If you're having financial problems due to extended debt, unpaid bills, or other problems, you should seek help from a financial planner. You may feel a bit frightened or confused at the beginning, but you should feel better once you start.
   • If you've hurt someone for a long time and that still haunts you, contact that person and make up for it.
   • If you want to avoid confrontation, you may feel even more comfortable making an anonymous redemption. For example, if you steal someone's money, send the money back to that person in an unmarked envelope.

5. 

   Don't be afraid to fail. No one has always been successful in all areas. If the past creates fear about a certain situation or part of your life, you should actively confront that fear and overcome it.
   • Remind yourself that even if you fail, you can learn from your experiences and apply your knowledge in the future.
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Method 3 of 4: Accept the other person

1. 

   Forgive others. It can be easy to hold onto your anger when someone has hurt you in the past. However, there are many psychological benefits to forgiving others.
   • It helps to make it clear to people that you forgive them. If someone has ever said something harsh to you, try saying to that person: “I hurt when you say X, but I still want you to know that I ignore it because I want to think about the future. I forgive you".

2. 

   Don't blame it. While saying that the problem is someone else's fault can be a simple way for you to avoid the error, things don't seem to be working in that direction. When you blame others, you can expect them to fix things up. However, it is more effective to acknowledge the problem and focus on living for the present and the future.
   • For example, if your spouse's habit of spending money causes financial trouble, don't say, "You ruined everything!" Instead, try to be more practical: "We are having financial problems and need to change spending habits."

3. 

   Remove hatred. Hatred is a specific form of trauma that can discourage you from having problems in the past. If someone has hurt you or did something wrong with you in the past, don't focus on revenge. While it might be fun to see that the person was hurt too, it may feel better to let it go.
   • For example, if you get angry at thinking that someone has left your ex, approach that person and say, "At first I was very angry, but I want everyone to be happy and move on. I want you to move on. know that I accept your relationship ".

4. 

   Focus on changing yourself, not on other people. Making changes to overcome a problem in the past can be difficult. It's also difficult to change oneself, let alone other people. If you let other people bother solving their problems, you will have more energy and focus on improving your problem.

5. 

   Give yourself some space if needed. If your past personal relationships failures are holding you back, give yourself some space to free up. Taking time to meditate can do wonders.
   • You can make an agreement with the person to repeat the matter another day. For example, if there is a problem in the relationship, you might consider staying apart.
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Method 4 of 4: Move forward

1. 

   Focus on the present and the future. Once you accept the past, you can begin to let it go. Focus on living in the present with all your power, and think of the future as a drive to move forward decisively.
   • Setting specific goals will increase your chances of success. This includes some jobs, like getting a degree, finding a new job, or practicing and improving skills in a particular field.
   • Focus on something present. For example, pursuing a new hobby or volunteering makes you feel satisfied.
   • Start slow. If a serious car accident worries you while in the car, start slowly by sitting in the car for a while in the parking space. After that, drive a short drive to somewhere nearby. Take this approach slowly until you feel comfortable in the car for long distances.

2. 

   Change your behavior. If you do the same thing over and over again, you will likely remember the past. If you really want to say goodbye to the past and move on, you have to change your behavior clearly and specifically. Changing the way you do things can be difficult, but it's easier to remind yourself that you are trying to improve the situation. For example:
   • If you regularly meet your ex (or remember your partner), you can change where you eat, shop, play, etc. Changing circumstances can make it easier to let go of the past.
   • If you have trouble spending too much, choose a "shopping holiday". Don't buy anything unnecessary over a certain period (like a few weeks), and tell yourself that you'll take the time to focus on using or organizing everything you have.

3. 

   See regret or loss as the driving force for the future. You will overcome past unhappiness by making up your mind to see them as the driving force behind your future success. If you still have some regrets or losses in mind, think of ways to use them to motivate yourself to improve:
   • Mistakes can be learning experiences, accumulating knowledge. If you have failed your job, you can use that knowledge to do better in the future, or determine if your new job is better for you.
   • If you've hurt someone you care about, apologize and tell yourself you'll never let them down again.
   • If someone criticizes you, admit that you have been hurt, but you will be determined to improve yourself rather than to please others.
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