Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Negative past events can make life difficult for you. Sad memories can make you sleepless or difficult to overcome. There will come a time when you have to leave the past behind if you don't want to affect your future. And of course we will always keep the past in the way we think, converse, and perceive the world. Controlling for this is like walking on a rope without seeing the end point. By taking things step-by-step and thinking broader, you will be able to accept the past as part of who you are. You will be able to leave bad habits that bind you to failed dreams or unfulfilled promises.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Accepting the Impact of Past Experiences

1. 

   
   
   Accept challenges from the past. Past unresolved experiences can sometimes have lasting psychological and physiological effects. In such cases, it's important to accept that your past is affecting your current opinion or habits.
   • The first important step is to stop trying to pretend that you are not affected by your past. You will not be able to move past the past until you accept it. If something happens that reminds you of a traumatic event or causes an intense emotional reaction, try to calmly accept that this is the way it is. Let yourself feel what you think of the past. The next steps in this article will provide some specific strategies to help with this process.
   • For example, if you are in a crowded place and something makes you feel strongly about your past, don't try to put it away. Instead, ask permission and leave the crowd. After that, take some time to reflect on your past and its impact before joining you again.
   • The effects of past trauma can be especially strong if you don't have social support networks.
   • Sometimes, the trauma caused by your past experiences can be so great that it affects the people you care about. Past unresolved experiences may prevent you from building relationships with people you love. They can also keep you preoccupied with dreams that never come true.This will gradually affect your current attitudes and habits by making it harder to cope with life's problems.

2. 

   
   
   Understand how damage affects the brain. Sad or particularly powerful experiences can affect our nervous system. This can even sometimes affect brain structure.
   • If you find yourself just "getting over it", remind yourself that reality is a lot more complicated than that. Distressing events can really change the way the brain works. This takes a long time to pass, so give it some time and try to be patient.
   • New research in neurobiology shows that the brain has a certain "flexibility". Genetic dispositions can be altered and manifest in an unpredictable way after high impact experiences. In other words, your brain can change. It is the result of your genes and your experiences.
   • The psycho-physiological effects of your past experiences can be difficult to overcome and integrate into your own life. However, keep in mind that your body and brain are constantly reorganizing based on new experiences. Your brain and body have changed and will change. You can turn that change into a positive one.

3. 

   
   
   Accept that you cannot change what happened, you can only change the way you see it. You cannot go back in time, but you can change the way you receive and handle it from now on. Otherwise, your hurt self will bring emotional pain from past experiences into your new relationships.
   • Your efforts need to be directed toward accepting the past and forgiving those who have done bad things to you. Allow yourself to feel any feelings you have about your past. Then try to let go of this feeling.
   • When you are angry or sad about your past, try to remind yourself that embracing negative emotions will only make you more hurt. No matter how angry you are, it cannot change what happened. Accept your feelings. Then look deeply inside yourself for compassion to help you forgive the person who hurt you and gain the strength to let go of the past.
   • This process is time consuming and varies from person to person. The other steps in this article will help you through this process.
   • Being immersed in the past can cause problems that you may not be aware of on your own.

4. 

   Try meditating or practicing yoga. There are a few activities called physical exercises that can help you accept the past. For example, meditation and yoga can help you develop your own processing skills. These activities help you become more responsive to the way your emotions affect different parts of your body.
   • Yoga will learn most effectively under the guidance of a professional coach. If you've never tried it before, go online and see if there are free or low-cost basic classes in your area. There are plenty of affordable options you can use to try out yoga and see if it's right for you.
   • Meditation is an activity that you can easily do yourself at home. Find a comfortable place to sit with your legs crossed and put your hands on your lap. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. If your mind is distracted, slowly refocus on the breathing process. Try playing an instructional CD or MP3 file to help you with your meditation.
   • Practice will give you time and psychological space to identify your own emotions related to your past experiences. In the process of doing that, they allow you to pay attention and process through the influence that comes from your behavior and thought process.

5. 

   Write diary. Write about everyday events in your life, or about the past. This is a great way to overcome difficult feelings.
   • Start the evening by making a list of events you've experienced throughout the day. You don't even have to write them in narrative form. Try not to think too complicatedly about it; keep your mind relaxed and just write down what feels natural to you. This will help you get comfortable with journaling.
   • It's easier if journaling develops into a habit. At this point, you can start writing about past experiences that come to mind as you write.
   • Focus on your feelings and thoughts. The most important thing is to show who you are, not to tell an interesting story.
   • Journaling about past sad events can help you accept them and make them less intrusive in your daily life. Writing to express your emotions benefits both mentally and physically. It helps you handle emotions as well as overcome erratic sleep patterns.
   • This type of activity can be time consuming and laborious but can be highly effective if you let it unfold in its own way.

6. 

   Spend time with everyone. Past unresolved experiences can sometimes make you unable to trust others. This can make it difficult to build healthy relationships. However, the social support system can be the single most important factor in healing the effects of bad experiences in the past.
   • It is extremely important to feel supported rather than afraid of being with other people so be gentle first; Maybe it's just meeting a few new friends and going coffee.
   • Volunteering can be a great way to help you become more comfortable interacting with others again. This can even help you feel more comfortable with your hurts when you see what others are going through.

7. 

   Seek professional help. If you've ever felt unbearable or completely out of control, consider getting professional help. If the problem you are dealing with still does not go away or does not improve by following the steps above, talk to a psychologist or therapist.
   • There are times when your past experiences can be so painful that you need to take support from someone who has experience helping people just like you before. This is why we need counselors and therapists.
   • If you don't know how to find a suitable person, you can talk to your healthcare provider who can refer a specialist to you.
   • Your insurance policy may include certain visits with mental health professionals. Check out the details of your policy terms to learn more.
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Part 2 of 3: Creating New Habits

1. 

   Evaluate your social circle. Consider stopping relationships with friends that have immersed you in the past. The social environment in which we live is an essential part of who we are in deciding who we are. It also affects how we associate our past unresolved experiences with our present lives.
   • Take some time to think (or maybe journal) about the people you spend time with and the feelings they bring you. If there are people in your life that make you feel bad or increase your bad habits, consider spending less time with them.
   • For example, someone who criticizes you often should not be in your life any more. The person who makes it difficult for you to do what you need to do to accommodate difficult past experiences can also be a problem. Consider making new friends or at least starting to change the environment.
   • This is not an easy way but a great way to get out of your circle and grow up.
   • Trying a new hobby with new friends is not a bad idea. When you're ready, break the boundaries of your safety circles by joining a local sports team or art class.New directions for your life will gradually appear.

2. 

   Be grateful to those who have helped you. Don't annoy yourself by thinking about someone who disrespects or misjudges you. Instead, focus on the people on your side. Let them know that you appreciate their help.
   • It can be difficult to ignore the negative side. But the people who have helped you deserve your attention.
   • Stay close to good friends during this time. Getting help from people around you will help you be strong. It allows you to feel confident enough to deal with past unresolved experiences or difficult emotions without feeling lonely.
   • When you feel like you're in a slump, try spending time with someone you trust who can help you go in the right direction.
   • If you feel like you are about to repeat a bad habit or are on the verge of despair, call someone you trust and ask if they can go out for coffee or drop by your house. Have someone around you who can help you feel supported. This will help you through difficult times.

3. 

   Try systematic desensitization. This method is a process that gradually alleviates the person's traumatic response to distress by using relaxation techniques. The goal of this approach is to help people gradually feel more comfortable when experiencing difficult situations on their own.
   • This is a new step you can take to start feeling comfortable in situations that may cause you a lot of anxiety.
   • Start with learning basic relaxation techniques, like practicing deep breathing or meditation. Then, put yourself in situations that remind you of situations that made you uncomfortable. Use the relaxation techniques you've learned to stay calm.
   • Start with short exposure to stressful situations. The key here is to stick to your own schedule, avoiding forcing yourself to overdo it. Eventually you will be able to cope with a situation that is comfortably causing you to grieve.
   • For example, imagine that you have been attacked and seriously injured by a dangerous dog. You will probably start avoiding all the other dogs. To get around this, you can try visiting a friend's house with a dog you know is friendly. Use relaxation techniques during a visit to your friend's house. Try to visit regularly, each time you stay a little longer. This can be difficult at first, but spending a little time with a non-dangerous dog can help you overcome your fear of an attack.

4. 

   Cope with your fear and change your habits. Sometimes we develop habits that prevent us from confronting and overcoming bad experiences in the past. They may prevent us from reconciling their influence with our current decisions. Part of reconciling this influence is breaking the habit of dealing with your own emotions.
   • Take the example with the fear of dogs above. If you have been attacked by a dog, you may have a habit of crossing the street when you meet someone walking the dog. Maybe you do this without thinking. It may help reduce anxiety in the short term, but in the long run it will prevent you from overcoming this fear. Anyway, it's also an inconvenience. In this case, you can try to break the habit. You don't have to look for dogs, but try to stop crossing the street when you see a dog coming. Once you feel comfortable with that, you can even ask a passerby if you can pet their dog. Over time, this will help you overcome trauma from the past.
   • Systematic sensory elimination can be helpful in trying to change harmful habits.
   • Sometimes we don't realize how bad experiences have changed us. Our efforts to avoid them become a habit in our daily life. One way to notice a change in behavior is to ask someone you trust if they have noticed any oddities in the way you behave. Others are often able to discern what we cannot feel for ourselves.
   • For example, after breaking up, you can ask your best friend, "Have I acted differently since my boyfriend and I broke up?"

5. 

   Make a checklist to test your manners. Sit down and make a list of the times when you avoid doing something because you are afraid or don't want to feel uncomfortable. You don't even have to know why you are afraid at that moment. Sometimes writing down your feelings about past experiences can be the best way to let them go freely.
   • This is especially important if you don't have a good friend around to ask about your manners.
   • As your thoughts begin to flow, think about new ways you can deal with this situation in the future.
   • For example, imagine that your list makes you aware that you are hesitant to hang out with friends. Start by inviting them over to your house so you can stay in control of the situation. Maybe invite your best friends first and then ask them to go with a few people you don't really know.
   • Take it easy, and don't be afraid to ask for help from someone you trust. Progressive progression can help you reconcile the effects of your worst past experience that you are not able to deal with.
   • By gradually forcing yourself in a way that might have made you previously uncomfortable, unusual habits will gradually disappear. Then you can start working towards establishing new useful habits in your everyday life.
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Part 3 of 3: Overcoming tough times

1. 

   Stay away from objects that are uncomfortable. It's time to put items that remind you of your bad experiences in a box. Grab a big box and toss anything that reminds you of a past relationship, which makes you feel depressed. Anything that reminds you of an experience that annoys you should be kept in the box.
   • After a while, decide whether to throw away or keep the box. Either way, you have come to the conclusion that the things in it can no longer affect you.

2. 

   Write or state your feelings. Writing and naming unresolved emotions and experiences can make them more apparent. This can help you to control your emotions better.
   • For example, you might write a letter to one or more people who hurt you or who went through difficulties with you. Dealing with such people can be very helpful, even if they're not there to talk to you.
   • You can write or read poetry or prose. Anything that allows you to express the emotions you still hold from the past is fine. No matter how poisonous the words come to mind, let them out.

3. 

   Careful decision. While you are going through therapy, try to be mindful of things that might cause you to repeat past habits. This may include contacting someone who has hurt you. Sometimes even watching a movie that reminds you of bad experiences can be risky.
   • When you find yourself in such a situation, use the technique mentioned above. Try to stop acting out of habit and challenge yourself to do something else.
   • This also means avoiding hasty decisions that might make you regret later. For example, think twice before disconnecting with someone in your family or sending someone an angry letter. Before giving up something you've been attached to for a long time, like your job, think carefully. Some of those decisions may be the right direction you choose after careful consideration.This will help you become stronger so you can make a calm and informed decision.
   • Checking with a therapist or mental health counselor will be especially helpful. He or she will usually have some tips to help you cope with experiences that cause negative emotions.
   • In tough times, remember that you really care about tomorrow. Your goal is to build a future that is credible, caring and clear, no longer affected by past habits.

4. 

   Slow but sure. Don't expect everything to change overnight. You will only achieve the best results by giving yourself the time and space to reconcile the effects of the past with your present life.
   • Each person recovers at a different rate. If you begin to think, "I should have gotten through this now," try replacing that thought with: "I've made progress and will continue to be."
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Advice

• Some losses don't last forever. There are so many fun things you could not have as a child, you can still do as an adult. Go ahead and start collecting comics even when you've grown up, or a doll, or anything you've missed. You can grow up even when your childhood isn't what you wanted.
• Always believe in yourself. Never listen to disparaging or insulting.
• Try to be optimistic and focus on what you are doing instead of past mistakes.

Warning

• Avoid taking the past as a reason for not developing the present. When things in your life weren't going as you wanted, deal with them instead of continuing to reminisce about when things were going well. You are creative, able to adapt and make choices for a better life. However, comparing your present life to the past can hold you back.
• You are not alone in a traumatic childhood. Clinging to it for a reason will not improve your situation, it will only harm you. It can interfere with your ability to reconcile the effects of bad experiences in the past. Accept that what happened during your traumatic childhood, good or bad, let yourself be healed. Get treatment when needed, but don't let it destroy your chances of a full life. If so, your past obsession will prevail.