Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Being used by a friend can be extremely painful. When taken advantage of, we feel lost, vulnerable, and confused. Failure to expect that can cause us to become distrustful of those around us. Sometimes your friends act carelessly and sometimes they try to take advantage of you. There are several ways to know if you are being taken advantage of, so you can decide if it's the right time to say goodbye to your friend.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Assessing the Behavior of Friends

1. 

   Notice if your friend is only in contact when something is needed. If they just want to talk or spend time with you in need of help or advice, or if it's always about their needs, you may be being taken advantage of.
   • Do your "friends" ever call or text to inquire about your situation? Or do they only come to you when they need something? It could be a ride to the store, a couple of cigarettes, a place to stay overnight, you are the one willing to hold your head up every time they need a quick solution.
   • See if this is a uniform behavior. After all, helping each other is part of friendship and sometimes, we are unlucky and need help. However, if this is happening all the time or is the only content of your interactions, you are more likely to be taken advantage of.

2. 

   
   
   Evaluate whether your friend can be trusted. A true friend doesn't betray your secrets, especially in a way that might hurt you. To see if the person is trustworthy, take a look and see if they have disclosed your private information, especially for personal gain. If so, you are more likely to be taken advantage of.
   • Review their relationships with other friends. Will your friend betray the trust of other friends or take advantage of them? If so, it's a sign that they may be exploiting you as well.

3. 

   
   
   See if this friend has put you outside of their social circle. Do they often miss you during gatherings? A non-profit friend will remember and invite you to join, especially with a group of mutual friends.
   • Remember that friends don't have to invite each other into every social activity they participate in. However, if they never invite you to any event, or just contact you when you need something, you may be being used.
   • If your friend mentioned a plan to other friends you know well but didn't ask you to join, try asking if you can. Pay attention to the person's reaction. If there is no practical logistical reason for your inability to attend or the friend still doesn't invite you or makes up a nonsense reason for your inability, chances are you are being used and that is not. must be a sincere friend.
   • An example of a legitimate logistical concern might be that they plan to go camping but don't have enough space in the car to invite you along.

4. 

   
   
   Watch your friend's actions. Actions speak louder than words. If they always say they will repay you but never do it, chances are you are being taken advantage of.
   • Here's an example of where your friends might be taking advantage of you: You invite this friend to dinner a few times because they're in trouble. They promise to invite again but never do so and keep complaining about the problem you're helping them. If this keeps happening, you are probably being used.
   • Ask yourself if the friend is grateful. Do they really appreciate your help? If so, perhaps the person is not taking advantage of you, but just really needs some goodwill help. If they seem to take it for granted, it could be a sign of exploitation.

5. 

   Beware of guilt. If they often try to manipulate you by provoking in you feeling guilty for what you didn't want to do, you may be being taken advantage of.
   • Ask yourself if you would help your friend if she or he wasn't trying to make you feel guilty or bad about the situation. If the answer is yes, then perhaps you are not being taken advantage of, but simply willing to help.

6. 

   See if you are being controlled. If your friend is always trying to dictate and direct you to do something, especially when it is in the benefit of them or their friends, she or he may be using you.
   • To assess whether the person is controlling you, consider the following: People who manipulate others tend to get angry easily and use it to achieve their goals. They may also use other emotions like guilt or sadness to get you to do what they want. Watch for signs of emotional control because it's a clear sign that someone is being controlled.
   • Maybe your friend will try to isolate you and thus, you lack outside support, it's easier to give up and be on demand. She or he may try to do this by criticizing your family and other friends, making you spend less time with them.

7. 

   Trust your intuition. If it feels like your friend is being dishonest, especially if it is repeated over and over, you may be right. To be sure, face them. Clearly ask if they really meant what was said.
   • Evaluate your friend's personality. Be completely honest with yourself and answer the question of whether it's essentially a good person and cares about you or if she or he seems to be just driven by self-interest.
   • Key points in personality can include degree of honesty, consistency, sincerity, and trustworthiness. Take a look at everything you know about the person, the person's interactions with both you and others. Note not only the manner in which he or she behaves in relation to the personality traits mentioned above but also the type of conversation in which he or she reveals these.
   • For example, if your friend talks about how she or he talks in front of others one way or another, they are more likely to do the same to you and perhaps, you are being taken advantage of.
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Part 2 of 2: Asking a Friend Directly

1. 

   Mentally prepare. If it's someone important to you, be sure to take advantage of her or him before deciding to end a relationship. You can do so by confronting the friend calmly and rationally.
   • Remember that if they are truly a good friend, they will not take advantage of it, simply ignore it and be willing to change.Anyway, when being taken advantage of and getting depressed, saying goodbye to the person after this candid conversation is probably the best outcome for you.

2. 

   Find a quiet location. When confronting a friend, find a quiet place to do it. Thanks to that, they are not agitated. Make sure you are in a place where you both can express your thoughts freely without feeling too embarrassed. Stay away from places similar to crowded restaurants with tables and chairs placed close together.
   • Try exchanging while walking in a lovely park.

3. 

   Be alone with that friend. Don't pull in other friends, even if they have the same complaints. Getting someone else in can make the conversation intimidating, overwhelming, and can cause your friend to become scared or extremely uncomfortable.
   • When someone criticizes you for something, you may be more willing to take that advice and make a change. But if several people criticize at the same time, you may feel threatened and rebellious. After all, it means those people sat down and talked badly about you, disappointing you.

4. 

   Communicate calmly and firmly. Explain your suspicions and listen to her or his response. Give them specifics so they can't simply wipe the issue clean, call you the accuser or a liar.
   • However, do not give too trivial examples. Your friend can turn the tide and call you petty.
   • Make sure you are talking about their actions, not their personality. Focusing on specific things to do, your friend will feel less frustrated. If you call them an abuser, they can get annoyed and the conversation dissolves quickly.
   • For example, you could say the same thing: "I gave you a ride when your car had to be repaired last month. However, this week, when my car broke down, you ignored the request for a ride. I came to my place of work. I realized that the bridge deliberately ignored it when I asked for help. "

5. 

   Seeking apology. If the friend apologizes and is willing to change his or her behavior, they may not take advantage of it, but just be unconcerned and that inadvertence manifests as a selfish act. Sometimes, we are so busy with the world and our own lives that we are not even aware of our actions becoming selfish.

6. 

   Consider ending your relationship when you realize that it is purely self-serving and contains nothing of a genuine friendship. Explain why you can't be friends with the person anymore and stop talking to her or him. Don't let the ex-friend convince you that they'll change, especially if you've given them countless opportunities before. They will only continue to take advantage if you allow it. advertisement

Advice

• Make eye contact with the opponent when confronting.
• Don't joke around when confronting. You need the other person to know that you are being serious.
• Look for classic signs of manipulation, like blaming or arousing guilt.
• Before you accuse someone, make sure the problem really exists and that you are not overdoing it.
• Realize if the person sees you as a place to let things go and should only listen to their problems. You may find that when you have listened to and provided lots of feedback, but when it comes to you need to talk about it, they change the subject or appear indifferent. They may even say bluntly that they don't care or take your feelings seriously. This is a sign of a lack of empathy and this could turn into emotional abuse in the long run.
• Some people suffer from selective hearing. Not only will they ignore your problem, but also ignore everything they don't care about. The topic of the conversation should be about them or something they are interested in that might make them react. Sometimes they attack every word and interrupt you.
• Review their communications. When you move, they never call. Or maybe not very often. This shows that they see you as a pure source of entertainment because they never check to know what you are doing.
• If every time they want to communicate clearly, they push everything towards you, that is a sign of betrayal. Be careful when your friend becomes defensive and acts as a victim every time you are concerned, stand up for yourself.
• When in doubt, consult someone! You can talk to a close friend, family member or friend of someone you think is exploiting you. This will help you see if you are overreacting or under-reacting.

Warning

• Don't let them upset you when the reason for disagreeing with your confrontation is because in their mind, they always think they are above you. They live on it and won't care or laugh at you.
• If you are unsure about being taken advantage of, don't rush. Don't ask her or him right away, but ask others first because your suspicions may not be correct. A false accusation can damage your friendship.
• Recognize when most of their "jokes" are meant to be ridiculous. Some fake friends may not only take advantage of what you have, but will also crush your self-esteem to put them higher. If they use rude language to hurt you and say it was just a joke to get away with it, then you will need to talk to them frankly.
• Check if they disrespect you. If they always gossip about the people you care about, attack, abuse you, act too immature, or repeat themselves after apologizing, then it's time to say goodbye to them.
• Don't drag another friend into the mix or the accusation may be offensive. Make sure it is a one-to-one conversation and you are in a comfortable position.
• Beware of those so-called that you always "forget" what they said or did, which plays an important role in problem solving among you. This selective memory serves their purpose, but obviously won't help you. Don't let such a person control you.