Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Sex can be a pretty great thing, if you're ready for it. Otherwise, it can have serious consequences including problems with emotions, sexually transmitted infections, and even unwanted pregnancy. There are many methods to help you figure out if you are ready for sex. If you decide that you are ready, you need to discuss your concerns and expectations with the person you love and develop a plan to protect yourself. This will help you ensure that your first sex will be safe and enjoyable.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Situation Assessment

1. 

   Understand that everyone is different. Planning out for sex can be a big deal and you need to consider your specific situation. There isn't any time that is considered the "best" time to engage in sexual intercourse. It is simply a matter where you need to think and do your best to make the right decision for yourself.

2. 

   
   
   Examine your personal beliefs. Before you decide if you are ready for sex, think about your values ​​and beliefs. They will help define your identity, so think about the impact of your decision on these factors. Try to identify the personal beliefs and values ​​you possess to determine how your decision to commit to sex will affect you.
   • For example, if your belief is that sex should be for marriage only, how will premarital sex affect you? Or, if you've always thought that you wanted to have sex with someone you love for the first time, how would you feel if you had sex with someone you only loved a little bit?

3. 

   
   
   Think about your questions about sex, sexually transmitted diseases (STIs), and pregnancy. To reduce your chances of getting an STI or getting pregnant during sex, you need to learn about having safe sex. Identifying the questions you ask will help you learn about what you need to know.
   • Talk to an adult or trusted adult about your question. If you don't feel comfortable asking other people a question about sex, you can always look for an answer online.

4. 

   
   
   Ask yourself how much you understand and trust the person you love. Sex is a very intimate act, so it's important to make sure that the person you want to have sex with is someone you trust and know well. If not, don't do this with the person. Some questions to ask yourself include:
   • Do you trust this person? Feel confident that the person you love is basically a good person and won't do anything that will hurt or humiliate you. This may be difficult to judge, but here are the standard metrics you can follow: If you don't trust the person to speak out about your thoughts or secrets, you probably won't. want to have sex with them.
   • Is your relationship mature enough to be sexually active? If most of your interactions were focused on superficiality, sex wouldn't be a good idea. On the other hand, if you feel that you and the person you love can help each other develop and improve themselves, you may want to consider having a relationship with that person.
   • Can you discuss sexual issues with the person you love? Think about whether you can talk about things like birth control, STIs, the person's base body, and other sex-related topics with your partner. If you don't feel comfortable talking about the matter with the person before you are "close" together, you should consider whether your decision was correct.
   • Will you influence the person's beliefs? In addition to considering your own values ​​and beliefs, think about the other's beliefs as well. If the person you love will be shunned or punished for having sex with you, it's best to wait.
   • Will you feel ashamed after having sex with this person? It sounds silly, but think about it a few years in advance. If you are no longer dating this person, would you feel embarrassed talking about them with your future partner? If the answer is "yes" or "maybe", you should consider finding someone better.

5. 

   Determine if your age is legal for sex. The legal age will vary depending on the country in which you live, so you need to make sure you are fully able to legally have sex before making a decision. Remember that even if you are voluntary, but you are not within the right age range, the person you love may be in trouble because of this. If your spouse is not of the legal age, you're in trouble.
   • For example, in Vietnam, it is illegal for a person over 18 to have sex with a person under the age of 16.

6. 

   Consider everything your loved one has said to you. If you are considering having sex with someone just for the things they have told you, you need to evaluate a few of their statements. Many people just try to force you to have sex by saying things that seduce or persuade you. Words that others often use to persuade another person to have sex include:
   • "If you really love me, you should be" close "to you".
   • "Everyone has ever had sex except us."
   • "I / I will be extremely gentle and I will definitely like it".
   • “You must do this before or after. Then why not now? ".

7. 

   Think about what everyone has told you. Your decision to engage in sexual behavior can also be influenced by the people around you. But making this decision just because someone else's words wouldn't be a good idea. You should carefully consider any words that might influence your decision. Some common quotes when others talk about sexual issues include:
   • "Are you still innocent ?!"
   • "I've had sex since I was 12 years old."
   • "You will not be able to understand because you have never had sex with anyone."
   • “Sex is the best thing. You are really missing out on the fun. "

Part 2 of 3: Talking about Sex

1. 

   Talk to the person you love. Once you've taken the time to examine your feelings and evaluate any effects, you can continue to consider having sex. If you decide you're ready and you don't feel as though your partner or friends are pushing you, talk to your loved one about how you are feeling.
   • Try to say something like “I / I think you / I are ready for the story of“ sex. ” What do you think? "
   • Remember that even if you feel ready, the person you love may not feel the same way you do. If the person says they aren't ready, respect their decision.

2. 

   Find out the person's relationship history. If the person you love is also ready for sex, you should learn about his sexual history. To protect yourself, you need to know how many people the person has had sex with and if he or she has ever had a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
   • You could say something like “I / I know it will be difficult for you to discuss this, but I / I want to know more about your past relationships. . Have you ever had sex with someone else in the past? If yes, how many? Have you ever been infected with an STI? ”

3. 

   Discuss how you both deal with serious consequences. Before having sex with someone else, think about how you can handle serious consequences such as pregnancy or infection. Did both of you already have a medical provider or a wellness center that you could both go to for treatment? Do you both accept the risk of pregnancy or infection as part of having sex? You should carefully consider any potential consequences in this regard and how you will deal with them.

4. 

   Share your desires and expectations. After you've considered any possible negative consequences of a relationship, take time to talk about your desires and expectations. Talk about your expectations for the first time as well as next time. Also, consult with the other person's expectations.
   • For example, would you like to try some specific poses or other factors during sex? Do you want to build a "monogamous" relationship with that person?

5. 

   Set up a plan to protect yourself. Before you start having sex, find out what you plan to do to protect yourself from pregnancy and infectious diseases. You should plan to see your doctor or have a physical exam to learn about your options. Free condoms are offered in many health facilities to encourage people to have safe sex.
   • For example, you need to decide if you will only use a condom or if you want to take extra birth control pills.

6. 

   Chat with people who care about you. Even if you have raised your concerns about your ex, you may feel as though you should talk to someone who cares about you to make sure you make the right decision. If you feel comfortable talking to your parents, this can be a good start. If not, you may consider sharing with your doctor, school counselor, pastor, sibling or friend.
   • Be clear and try to say something like “I am thinking about having sex. Can you give me advice on this? ”
   • Research has shown that people who are able to talk freely with their friends about sexual topics are more likely to discuss the topic with their loved ones.

Part 3 of 3: Enjoy "the first time"

1. 

   Use a condom to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. The best way to avoid a sexually transmitted infection is to delay or avoid sex. But if you don't want to wait, make sure you are safe by using a condom every time you are with the person. People often assume that having sex for the first time won't get you pregnant or get an STI. However, it is possible for you to become pregnant or become infected, so you must protect yourself. Condoms are very effective in preventing STIs when used the right way during sex.
   • If the person you love is against using a condom, do not agree to have sex with them. Make it clear to the person that you don't want to be "close" unless you're safe.
   • You might consider getting the HPV vaccine, the virus that causes genital warts or cervical cancer. You should talk to your doctor about HPV vaccinations such as Gardasil and Cervarix.

2. 

   Consider using condoms and birth control pills at the same time. Using birth control pills alone won't prevent you from getting an STI, but taking pills and condoms can greatly reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancy.
   • The contraceptive efficacy of a condom is 82%, while the contraceptive pill is 91%. So taking both at the same time can reduce the absolute risk of unwanted pregnancy while also protecting you from getting an STI.

3. 

   Relax. The first time having sex can be quite stressful, so you can do some stress-relieving exercises before you start. Take long, deep breaths to calm yourself down before having sex. Keep in mind that anyone will feel a bit nervous the first time you have sex, so this is normal.

4. 

   Take it easy. Part of what makes sex interesting is foreplay and romance. Take your time to enjoy the process. There's no need to feel as though you have to race to the finish line. Just take it easy and enjoy the experience. You can create a romantic atmosphere for this moment by turning on soft music, turning the lights down, and talking a little before you start.

5. 

   Let your ex know when you are not comfortable. If you are not enjoying the experience at any point, let your ex know. Likewise, if the person asks you to stop, stop. Sometimes, having sex can be painful the first time around, and this is also very normal. But if you simply can't enjoy the process, let the person you love know so you can both adjust your posture or decide to try again later.

6. 

   Accept that the first time having sex can be awkward. Although movies and TV often turn sex into something that looks like a fascinating and romantic experience, the process can actually be quite embarrassing. The first time it will be awkward because this is a very new experience for you. Just remember that this is normal and you don't have to be ashamed of it.

7. 

   Know that you are likely to experience a variety of emotions after the first time you have sex. After this process is over and you have time to think about and process your own experiences, you will begin to feel some fairly new feelings towards you. You don't have to worry about strange feelings after the first sex. If you have trouble coping with them, discuss them with someone you trust, such as a parent, counselor, or close friend.

8. 

   Think about other ways to physically build a romantic relationship with the person. The act of holding hands and having sex is a long way. If you feel that your relationship is moving too fast, try to slow down by taking other acts of intimacy that are not sexual at all, such as kissing, weakness, and hug. You can also talk about sex, marriage, or children with the person because for many people this is another subject of interest. Practice expressing your love for each other in a way that you both feel comfortable with.

Advice

• Losing chastity should be part of a positive and satisfying relationship. Make sure you're of the legal age to have sex and that this person is the right person for you.
• Never be allowed to urge others. Think about how you feel if someone pushes you.
• If you think you're not ready to talk about this, you don't have to force yourself. You don't have to be in a hurry.

Warning

• No one can force you to have sex. If you are being raped, call emergency services, and go to the hospital or police station right away!
• Understand the legal age for having sex in the area where you live. In Vietnam, legal sex is when both are over 16 years old. If one person is younger than this age, and the other is an older person, that person will commit a child-force offense.
• Never are allowed to have sex while you are in an abusive relationship.