Content

• Steps

Sexual desire is a very normal part of being human. However, these feelings sometimes affect life and relationships negatively. Finding ways to control your libido can help you to improve your quality of life and productivity, but you may not know where to start. Don't worry - wikiHow is available to find information for you! We offer the most reliable advice, including those from the Mayo Clinic and the American Psychological Association.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Find an instantaneous solution

1. 

   Exit the current environment. Try to stay away from any habitat that makes it difficult to control your desires. For example, if you are at home and feel like masturbating, go outside for a quick walk to the supermarket near you. If you can't get out of your current environment (like at work), try talking to your coworkers or taking a break for a while.
   • Finding someone to hold you accountable is also helpful, such as a buddy or a therapist.

2. 

   
   
   Bring a to-do list with you. Write down all the chores or chores around the house that you need to do today. If you find yourself having a urge to have sex, look at that list and find another distraction activity.
   • If you think you can't do something effective while you have a strong sexual desire, have something that distracts you, such as a great book or a difficult quiz.

3. 

   
   
   Delay the urge to another time. Delaying the impulsive behavior makes you think about the behavior before attempting it. This is a way to help you deal with discomfort and stress.
   • Set a time goal for yourself. Tell yourself, "I'll watch sex in an hour" or any other time you can put off. You may only delay this behavior for a minute. It's also okay, you can give yourself a minute.
   • After the time is up, procrastinate if you want to, or do the act. However, you should choose to procrastinate whenever possible, even if it's just one more minute.
   • After a while, you can extend this time without feeling the need to engage in the behavior.

4. 

   
   
   Make a list of all the negative consequences of your behavior. Writing down all the negative risks and consequences associated with that behavior can also help suppress libido. Write down all the potential risks and consequences when you commit a behavior. Always carry that list with you and open it up when you have a feeling of desire.

Method 2 of 4: Avoid tempting situations

1. 

   Identify sexual triggers. Spend some time thinking about your behavior and what drives you to have a sexual desire. Think about the triggers, what time of the day, and what circumstances are driving those desires. Evaluate if there are any prominent patterns in your behavior.
   • If you discover a pattern, find a way to break that cycle with new behaviors or lifestyle changes. For example, you may find yourself having the strongest sex drive in the evenings and on weekends - when you're away from work and nothing to do. Maybe you should find a new hobby to keep your mind off of sex.
   • Perhaps you are inspired by factors in your environment. If you are often stimulated by the steamy love scenes in movies, it's best to watch non-romantic movies until you can control your desires well.
   • Consider journaling about the actions and behaviors that lead to the desire. A journal helps you identify the triggers and common patterns of desire.

2. 

   Avoid watching porn. Now the porn industry is grossing billions of dollars, and people accept this problem more and more.For that reason, it can be difficult to ignore porn, but since it offers a lot of sexual desire, it's best to avoid watching if you fall into annoying desires.
   • You should install extensions or parental controls on your computer to make it difficult to access pornography. You can even ask a friend or lover to set it up and not give you the password.
   • Dispose of all pornographic magazines, books or movies on the subject.

3. 

   Consider avoiding masturbation. Avoid masturbation for a certain length of time to help control your libido. For some people, avoiding masturbation is perhaps even more important than other things. You should seek advice from a therapist to find out what is right for you.
   • For example, if you find that you cannot quit masturbation, make a commitment to abstain from masturbating for a certain period of time. You should also do this if you are addicted to watching porn.
   • For others, masturbation can help them increase intimacy and improve sexual health.

4. 

   Avoid drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol make you lose your inhibitory abilities, including your ability to suppress your libido. Stay away from parties or situations that could get you in trouble.
   • When using drugs and / or alcohol, you are more likely to be drawn into risky sexual activities.

5. 

   Find effective ways to control thoughts. Find thinking techniques to help "change the topic of thinking" in your brain, and apply them when you start to feel a sexual desire. Talk to a therapist about ways to manage obsessive thoughts. Some techniques are:
   • Get rid of all thoughts using meditation techniques or mindfulness. Don't give up if you have a lot of problems at first! Everyone has a hard time at first, but it will get easy over time. If you follow a certain religion, you can pray to focus your mind and seek spiritual support.
   • Turn your attention to the current task. Recognize your sexual desires by telling yourself, “These are just thoughts. Now they are not useful to me, they only hurt me ”. Then take a few deep breaths and turn your focus back to your current activity.

6. 

   Reduce stress. Sometimes obsessive thoughts tend to creep into your mind when you feel overly desirable and stressed. If this is the case every time you have a sexual desire, find a way to live a less stressful life.
   • For example, you might find yourself thinking too hard about sex on your late working days. Try waking up earlier or spending more time moving to work to see if your thoughts change.
   • Make a list of the different tasks and see if they can be eliminated or delegated. Try to work smarter, not more diligent.

7. 

   Keep busy. Keep your mind busy so you have to focus on things other than sex. Find a new hobby or join activities with friends.
   • Putting sexual energy into a creative project. Overcoming difficult emotions with your imagination is a form of sublimation, or transforming "negative" or unwanted emotions into something positive or useful.
   • Find a hobby that will keep you away from triggers. For example, if you tend to watch sex movies while at home alone, find a hobby where you have to go out of the house to meet other people so that you don't live in a stimulating environment.

8. 

   Do exercise. Physical activity is one of the healthiest ways to control and manage emotional chains, including the urge to have sex. Exercise regularly against your sexual energy, or head to the nearest park or gym as soon as you start feeling this feeling.
   • Consider setting your health goals to work hard to achieve. For example, you may decide to lose weight, lift a certain weight, or train for a race or long bike ride. When you're not exercising, you can spend time figuring out how to reach your health goals, instead of being distracted by your libido.

Method 3 of 4: Talk to people who can help you

1. 

   Make an appointment with your doctor. Consider seeing a doctor to rule out the health problems that cause libido. Illness can sometimes disrupt normal hormone levels and increase libido.
   • Your doctor may ask you to see a psychiatrist or a psychiatrist for evaluation for a mood disorder. For example, a high libido is a symptom of bipolar disorder.
   • Be honest with your doctor about your sexual desire and address concerns. Estimate the number of times you think about sex or perform a sexual desire. For example, say, "I watch sex movies and masturbate four times a day." Your doctor will help you assess whether the behavior is really the problem, or within the normal range.

2. 

   Talk to your partner about how you are feeling. If you are in a relationship, talk to them about your sexual desires. If you are sexually unsatisfied in the relationship, be honest and discuss how you can prioritize sex more.
   • You could say, “I don't know if you have a lot of lust lately because they're less sexually active. What do you think? Are you satisfied with our sex life? "
   • Understand that you and your partner may have different levels of libido. Maybe you want more sex than they do. This does not mean that either of you is right or wrong, it is simply a character of each person. Be honest with yourself and each other about whether this can be resolved, or this will be the end of the relationship.
   • Talk to them if you feel compelled to cheat. Be honest even if it is difficult. You could say “I know it is difficult to say this, but I am lustful with others. I let you know because I do not want to cheat and I am trying very hard ”.
   • Consider seeing a love marriage counselor who specializes in treating sex addiction or sex problems to help guide your relationship.
   • Talking to best friends is also a good idea. They will hold you accountable for your goals, listen when you need release, and respond objectively.

3. 

   Think about your sexual desire from a religious perspective. If you want to control your sexual desires because of your religious beliefs, seek advice from the spiritual leader in your religious community. Consider talking to a chaplain, priest, or congregation leader where you live.
   • Don't be ashamed. Chances are, the spiritual leaders in your religious community have heard this problem before, and know how to deal with it. You may show concern when asking to speak to them; for example, “You are fighting an embarrassing personal problem. Do you have time for me to talk for a while? "
   • Ask them about strategies that can help you understand your struggle from a religious perspective.

Method 4 of 4: Seeking help for compulsive sexual acts

1. 

   Watch out for warning signs of sex addiction. You become sexually addicted (i.e., reluctant to engage in sexual acts) when sexual desires start to negatively impact your life. When you begin to feel overwhelmed by a sexual desire, seek a counselor to help plan your treatment. Some warning signs to look out for are:
   • Spending a lot of money on sexually satisfying things (eg buying porn movies, going to nude clubs, buying sex)
   • Feeling that you have a strong desire to engage in sexual acts but are not satisfied with it
   • Damage to relationships with others, including relationships with sexual partners
   • Feeling to apologize more for her behavior.
   • Engaging in unsafe sex acts that can cause health problems and person-to-person relationships (for example, having sex without a condom, or having sex with a staff member)
   • Spend a lot of time looking for sexual trade-offs, and / or lose productivity due to time consuming.

2. 

   Seek advice. Consider seeing a counselor qualified for sex addiction treatment. To find a therapist, you should check with your doctor, contact your company's Employee Assistance Program, get referrals from your local health department, or do your own online search.
   • If you are living in the United States, you should seek out a counselor with an S-PSB (Sexual Disruption Specialist) or CSAT (Sex Addiction Therapist) certified counselor. These certificates show that they have been trained in the causes and treatments for sexual behavior.
   • Therapists are trained to be open minded, nonjudgmental, and accept other people's problems. You shouldn't be ashamed because you need professional help. They are also bound by privacy laws so they will protect your privacy, as long as you are not in danger of harming yourself or others, or showing signs of abuse.

3. 

   Join a support group. There are many sex addiction support groups in the United States, and all of them use the same 12-step program template (similar to the Alcoholics Anonymous program). Team meetings can help you, hold you accountable during your recovery, and provide a goal for you to work toward. To find a support group close to where you live, visit their websites at:
   • Sex Addicts Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/
   • Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: https://saa-recovery.org/
   • Sexaholics Anonymous: https://www.sa.org/