Author:
Louise Ward
Date Of Creation:
12 February 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
It can be very difficult to ignore other people's thinking. However, there are still many steps to help you become more confident, form your own opinion, and build your own style. Try to get rid of the idea that others are observing and judging each of your actions, and avoid analyzing too much of their opinion. Instead, you form your point of view based on facts and evidence. In addition, you make decisions based on your values instead of compromising your beliefs based on what others think. As for style, you should remember that taste is only subjective, so no one can come to the final conclusion.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Become more confident
Accept yourself. Always be yourself, improve what can be changed, and accept the areas where you cannot. Don't try to change yourself just to please others.
- List all the things you like about yourself and the things you want to improve on. You can ask friends and family to compile this list, as they might come up with things you never thought of. Think about some more specific steps you can take to improve yourself, such as: “Sometimes I overreact and overreact to others. Whenever someone says something, I should calmly accept it before responding and think about what I should say before saying it. " Place this list where you can easily see it, such as in front of a mirror or cabinet door. Read this list at least once a day.
- Accept things that you cannot change about yourself. For example, you might wish you were taller, but it's not something you can change about. Instead of focusing on why you wish you were taller, think about the cute little things about being a "dwarf", like you will get hit less often. Think about something that other people envy you and wish for.
Visualize results instead of fear of humiliation. Don't focus on the failure, the humiliation, or what others think when you do something wrong. If you feel like you are recreating a moment of embarrassment, direct your thoughts towards something you have achieved recently. Break your goals down into smaller chunks and visualize your success in each step.- For example, if you want to become more confident when communicating, divide this goal into small parts such as maintaining eye contact, listening to the other person, nodding when they offer a certain opinion, ask questions and provide sincere feedback based on personal experience.
- If you haven't achieved your planned results yet, try to learn from the experience instead of feeling embarrassed. Write down how you can do differently the next time to help you reinforce what you learned. Everything is a learning process and no one does everything well, especially on the first try.
Avoid doubting your actions. Don't think that everyone is judging every little action you make. Before you get caught up in the cycle of self-doubt, remind yourself that the people you spend time with will care for you instead of criticizing your every thought and action. Besides, you should realize that every mistake is a lesson and an important part of development.- Pay attention when you begin to infer or doubt yourself. Tell yourself this: “Stop deduction. Calm down and don't worry ".
- Reflecting on yourself and learning from your mistakes is good, if you focus on positive development instead of negative inference.
Don't let the negative judgment of others affect who you really are. Keep a neutral stance and do not view negative reviews as an unchanging, unchanging truth. If you see the truth in the judgment of others, you should see this as an opportunity to improve rather than influence you.- For example, someone says you have a short temper. If you rarely interact with them and they know nothing about you, ignore their judgment. However, if they are close classmates or colleagues, think about why they think you are short-tempered. Learn how to stay calm, such as slowly counting breathing when you start to get angry.
Consider when others judge you with good intentions. How someone thinks about you can tell you whether to let it go or keep it to yourself. Ask yourself, “Does the person want to be good for you? Is this something I can improve on to become better, or is it a petty judgment to demean you? ”
- For example, a good friend would say, "Lately you've been looking cold - you're not yourself anymore." That is the comment you should consider. On the contrary, you shouldn't care when someone strange says "You never pay attention - you are stupid!".
- Also, keep in mind that petty comments are often intended to make the speaker feel better about themselves, not to hurt. Please sympathize with them and their self-esteem.
Method 2 of 3: Form your own opinion
Get information from many sources. When you want to build your own opinion on a topic, such as news, seek information from a variety of sources. You can read articles from many different editors and try to embrace different views from your beliefs. Gather information instead of instinctively approving or disapproving of someone else's thinking.
- For example, when your parents give an opinion on a news report. Instead of just agreeing with them because they are your parents, you can find articles online on the subject from a variety of editors. After reading some perspectives on your topic, you can build your own opinion on what you have learned.
Consider whether the person is knowledgeable about the topic. Before you worry too much about what others think, consider their expertise and how they express their opinions. If your teacher writes their master's thesis on a historical event, you will probably appreciate their thinking more than that of someone with no relevant knowledge.
- In addition to considering the source of information, you also need to consider how information is conveyed: who has expertise in that subject shared the information with you in a coherent and dedicated way? Or are they just throwing insults and criticizing your opinion just to show disagreement with you?
- You can also consider whether someone is personally motivated to perceive it one way or another.
Avoid pretending to agree to please others. Don't worry about your opinion of the majority, especially if you've put the time and effort into building it. Analyze your evidence intuitively instead of trying to follow and please others. Besides, you should also respect the thoughts of others and accept the fact that no one thinks like you.
- For example, if you like dogs over cats, don't pretend to like cats more just to please those you think cats are cuter. You should keep your point of view, even if all of your friends like cats.
- Testing your mainstream beliefs won't do you any harm, but you should avoid making compromises to follow the crowd. For example, if you were raised in a religious tradition, you will find that a little healthy suspicion will deepen your beliefs in the long run. However, that doesn't mean you should change your beliefs just because someone criticizes you with their arrogance.
- Besides, it is normal to disapprove of other people's opinions. You can present your opinion calmly and listen with respect. However, it is important that you consider your goals in the conversation before proceeding.
Method 3 of 3: Explore yourself and your style
Learn to engage with yourself. Find similarities and differences in how you behave when you are alone and when you are around people. You would ask yourself the following: "How do I present myself in front of strangers who bring comfort and self?"
- Try to think about what makes you yourself. Make a list of traits that are important to you, such as being honest, loyal, or funny. You can also ask a trusted friend or family member to help you find the answer.
- Take some quiet time to reflect on your personality, talents, and interests. This is creating awareness of what makes you an exceptional individual.
Make decisions based on your own values. Make choices that fit your priorities instead of doing what others think is great. For example, when a friend wants to go to a party and gets drunk, but you have to attend a soccer match the next day and football is very important to you. In this case, instead of choosing to go to the party to look "cool", choose to take the time to prepare and rest before the game as this is important to you.
- Don't feel like you have to justify yourself or your values in front of others!
Express yourself in a way that makes you happy. Think about how to incorporate your interests, likes and dislikes into your choice of clothes, surroundings, and lifestyle. You need to focus on building a style that makes you feel good, rather than just chasing trends or popularity.
- For example, if you feel like mixing patterns in your wardrobe, don't be afraid to wear your favorite clothes just because of other people's comments.
- Decorate your apartment or room with decorations that have emotional value, even if someone recommends choosing trendy items or minimalism. On the contrary, you should go ahead and remove all the decorations if you don't want to store many things.Do whatever makes your home the most livable for yourself.
Create an inspirational directory for you to find your own style. When you want to form a fashion sense, take the time to read fashion magazines and blogs for inspiration. Save or crop your motivational images and use them to create a paper or digital photo book or inspirational folder. Use your new library to create a style that makes you feel special and confident.
- Unique accessories such as jewelry, scarves, hats or striking patterns also help make an unforgettable impression on your style. Find a beautiful accessory or highlight that will cheer you up and show off what you love about yourself. For example, if you like to go to the beach or a boat, maybe a necklace with anchors and a blue striped pattern will make it unique.
Note that aesthetic appeal is only subjective. If someone comments on your taste, remember that their thinking about fashion is not the end. Appreciation is only subjective and you probably do not love the fashion style or the decoration of other people. The difference is a great one: if everyone's clothes and homes are the same, life would be boring!
- While it is great to choose clothes that show your personality, you should also remember to consider the suitability of the outfit for each situation. Dressing politely or appropriate for the workplace environment will give you more respect than wearing torn T-shirts and jeans.
Avoid unnecessary comments. Social media is a great place to connect with others. However, it is also a place that gives others a chance to judge your lifestyle choices. For example, if you don't want others to criticize your outfit or image, limit sharing of your personal photos on social media.
- You can also unfollow or unfriend someone who is judgmental, rude, or makes you feel bad about yourself.
