Author:
Lewis Jackson
Date Of Creation:
10 May 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Betrayal tends to come from a direction you didn't expect. The reason is that you can only be betrayed by someone you trust. A coworker, relative, lover, or close friend you trust can be someone who betrays you. Betrayal also stems from a group of people: you feel betrayed when some of your friends spread bad rumors about you, or when you are not invited to a family reunion. Regardless of whether you choose to rebuild trust, the best way to deal with a betrayal is to take care of yourself and learn to forgive.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Take care of yourself
Acknowledge your feelings. When you are betrayed, you will feel angry, sad, and humiliated. Suppressing pain can negatively affect your health and your relationship. When you spot a betrayal, take time to acknowledge your feelings without judging them. This will help you get through them without tormenting yourself or others.
- Writing down your feelings can also be helpful. If you journal, you can write down exactly how you are feeling. If not, you can write yourself a letter. You can also write to the person or group of people who betrayed you, but wait about a week before deciding to send it.
- Managing pain can cause many health problems such as chronic pain, lack of sleep, and even heart disease.
Spend time alone. It can be difficult to deal with betrayal when the person or group that betrayed you is always with you. If you are betrayed by a partner or friend, tell them that you need space to learn to accept what happened. You can also go somewhere for a while. If you live with your spouse who betrayed you, ask him or her to stay somewhere for a while, or sleep in another room.- If the person who betrayed you is quite far away, stop contacting them. Let them know that you will contact them when you feel ready to talk. You can make a specific appointment date if needed.
- Stop using social media. You should stop looking at websites that might give you unwanted information about the person who hurt you.
Don't rush to make life-changing decisions. Betrayal will turn your world upside down. When the trust you have for others is gone, you want to take them out of your life completely. You need to wait before making any big decisions, like applying for a divorce, changing jobs, or denouncing someone openly, because your feelings may change. change.
Avoid retaliation. If you feel that you might harm yourself or others, you should seek professional help immediately. Not having any revenge is considered active revenge. Taking revenge in anger will make you regret later. Taking the time to calculate retaliation will waste time you can use to heal your emotions.
Find someone you can frankly confide in. It can be helpful to discuss betrayal with someone you trust. A good friend or therapist will help you think more clearly and make a decision about your next step. Remember, being betrayed doesn't mean you can't trust anyone else. You might even trust the person who betrayed you.
Take care of yourself. Your physical health will help you get through this emotional period. Remember to eat well each day and get enough sleep. Exercise will improve your mood and help you sleep better. If you do not exercise regularly, you should take a brisk walk for about 30 minutes a day. advertisement
Part 2 of 3: Forgiveness
Try to forgive. Forgiveness doesn't mean you let go of betrayal, but you choose to let go of resentment. Forgiveness can also make you empathy and empathy for the person who hurt you. At the same time, it also brings a wonderful sense of peace to your soul.
- Forgiveness positively affects your health and well-being. Forgiving betrayal lowers your blood pressure, improves heart health, and reduces anxiety and depression.
Get rid of negative feelings. Focus on yourself instead of on the person who hurt you. Tell yourself that you won't let betrayal take control of your life or joy. When a negative thought arises, don't suppress it. Instead, welcome it and ask it to go away. When it comes back, continue to see it and then release it again.
- If you have trouble letting go of your negative feelings, go back to self-care. Try to take a meditation or yoga class to relieve negative thoughts.
Claim forgiveness, at least to yourself. Forgiveness is the act of taking care of yourself. You do not need to inform others about this. If you want to share your new mindset, you can tell the person or group that betrayed you that you forgive them. If you are unable or unwilling to resume contact, declaring your tolerance for yourself will help you overcome the pain of betrayal.
- If you want to show tolerance without facing the person who betrayed you, write a letter. When you find yourself getting angry as you write, stop writing and try again once the anger has subsided.
Forgive but not rebuild. You can forgive someone who betrayed you without rebuilding the relationship with them. Some kind of betrayal of trust will mean the end of the relationship. If the betrayal is related to the abuse of a partner or child, trust may be hard to rebuild. Forgiveness doesn't mean you think the action was right or reasonable at any cost.
- If the person who betrayed you has passed away or refused to contact him or her, you will not be able to rebuild your relationship. You need to try to forgive them without their help.
Keep on trying. If you have difficulty moving forward, remember that forgiveness is a process. Great betrayal will stick with your life for a while, and they need to be forgiven many times. Even a small incident will sometimes make you remember it before it stops hurting you. You need to remind yourself that tolerance is your primary goal. advertisement
Part 3 of 3: Rebuilding trust
Express feelings of betrayal. Once you become aware of your feelings, you can express it to the person who betrayed you. Be clear about your feelings of betrayal without trying to influence the reactions of the person or group of people who have hurt you. You should start your sentence with "I" instead of "You".
- Try to be clear: "I feel betrayed when you confidently say what I have shared with you." The person who upset you is more likely to understand this statement than an accusatory statement like "You betrayed my beliefs when you confidently said what I shared with you".
- You should first try to write a letter. If you think your style will help you express your feelings better, you can read aloud the letter to the person who betrayed you, or ask them to read it before starting a conversation.
Seeking apology. If you decide to continue with the person who betrayed you, make sure they are ready for the rebuilding process. If the person doesn't want to admit that they've hurt you, or try to blame you, this isn't the right time to rebuild your trust.
- A statement that begins with the subject "I" is also helpful in this case. "I will be happy to know that you understand why I suffer." "I would appreciate it when I received your apology: it would mean a lot to me."
Let's look back at what happened. When everyone agrees to rebuild trust, talk frankly and calmly about the traumatic event that happened. Don't focus on the parts that hurt, but make sure you both understand the problem, what caused it, and why it hurts.
Decide on a common goal. Find out if you both share a similar desire for the relationship to work. Maybe you both like things going back to the way they used to, or you want this relationship to develop in a different form. You will also discover that you both have different goals. Sometimes betrayal stems from a relationship in which one person does not openly express his needs to the other.
- Mediation can bring about a positive change. For example, if you are both coworkers, you should limit working together, or work more closely together on specific projects.
Talk to a counselor together. If you are trying to recover from a betrayal of a partner or family member, you should see a counselor with that person. Try to find a therapist who specializes in dealing with your situation. If this is a treachery in marriage, you should seek out a therapist who specializes in marriage therapy.
Be honest about the effects of betrayal. You should open up to the person who betrayed you as you move forward. Share your fears of betrayal, and listen to your partner's fears. The best result of an unhappy betrayal is bonding. advertisement
