Author:
Monica Porter
Date Of Creation:
13 March 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Everyone is quite similar about the cause of their frustration, whether it is our own unsuccessful attempt or when others are unable to fulfill our aspirations.Coping with frustration involves acknowledging the cause of the feeling and using the right techniques to find a different emotional response.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Coping with temporary frustration
Know the cause of your irritation. A trigger is a factor in your environment that causes an emotional response that is disproportionate to the cause itself. There are a number of common causes, but each person has their own unique situations that make them more likely to become frustrated.
- Are you frustrated when you have to wait and do nothing during that time? For example, traffic jam or waiting in line to exit the gate.
- Are you frustrated when others cannot meet your expectations or disrupt your work? For example, someone sends you an email that frustrates you all day.
- Annoyed by difficult problems? Does homework hardly make you mad?
Avoid causes of irritation as much as possible. Know what has a tendency to easily touch angry nerves to avoid them whenever possible. These are the causes of spontaneous feelings of frustration, so knowing what causes them can help you stay in control.- For example, leave your phone on silent mode when you don't want work to be interrupted, or take a break temporarily when you encounter a difficult problem if you know that trying to solve it makes me angry.
- If you can't avoid the trigger, try to admit that it actually only draws you to a thought that you can choose to change, even if it's difficult. When provoked, take the time to think rather than react hastily.
Do stress breathing exercises. Regular and relaxed breathing can alter the coordination of brain activity, thus making behavior more intelligently controlled by the new cortex, rather than letting the gray matter be responsible for the self-defense response. " dominant. That's why conscious and focused breathing techniques can help you avoid impulsive actions or thoughtless speech. Deep breath! Before you feel angry or angry, pause and take a deep breath. Count slowly one to four as you inhale and continue to count to four as you exhale. Do this again until you feel calm.
Consider the expectations you place on others. There are people who are very upset, but there are also wonderful people, there are people who are ridiculous, only care about themselves, injustice and at other times. In general, you can only control your own reactions and never control the behavior of those around you.- For example, let's say you have a friend who's always late in everything but very kind. You have to control your wishes by admitting that you cannot force them to be on time, but you have the right to decide whether or not to invite them. If you know you get angry a lot about being late, try to avoid inviting the person in situations that require punctuality.
Look at yourself. Frustration is the cause of the production of adrenaline and other neurochemicals, which interact with each other and cause you to act superficially or even aggressively. Before you scream, act rude, or curse someone, stop and think about the details. Your reaction should be neither exaggerated nor humiliated. The goal is not to let other people outdo you, and not to dominate or outperform others yourself. Ask yourself the following questions to find out how to respond appropriately to the current situation:
- Everything is as I understand it? Did I miss any details?
- Is what is happening now important today? In this week or all year?
- Can I raise my concerns without causing stress?
- Is there any information that I want to share?
- Do I really want to understand the problem, or is it even more important to be angry?
- Do I pay attention to their needs? Can we cooperate?
See frustration as a "late success" instead of a "failure". The way you view the situation will change your reaction and your feelings. If you view the situation as a step backward that needs to be overcome, you will immediately realize that you can overcome the frustration.
- For example, let's say you are saving money to buy a new car but have to deduct some money to repair your existing car. Instead of thinking about buying a car at the scheduled time, tell yourself this difficulty will only delay your plan a month or two.
Method 2 of 3: Coping with long-term frustration
Try something new. Changing your routine or building a new hobby can help you relieve lingering stress. If you can't allow yourself to enjoy yourself so you don't have to spend the day working, find something more practical, like learning how to make bread, soap, clothes, etc. You'll find it interesting to learn a new skill.
Find a different attitude toward the problem. Coping with frustration is coping with feelings of powerlessness. To counteract that feeling, use a personal ability that you have. Literally "ability" is the ability to get things done, while helplessness is the feeling you can't do anything about the situation. At this point you should choose to do one thing that is within your power, no matter how small. Washing your hands or changing clothes seems like nothing compared to having to deal with problems, but it's not in vain, because the way the brain works, it also makes sense.
Spend time with supportive people. Find a friend to talk about your frustration with, someone willing to listen without judgment. If you don't have a close friend you can confide in comfortably, find someone who will stay with you during frustrating things, like finding a job or chatting on a dating website. Social time is very helpful in regulating the mood. Many problems seem clear, but when you speak it up you will find hidden hidden keys, such as your self-esteem or specific concerns. A supportive person can discuss with you to clear up the problem.
Take care of yourself. Frustration can lead to stress and anxiety, which in turn adversely affects mood, sleep time and overall health. By paying more attention to yourself, especially physically, you can relax your mind and let go of any previously disturbed emotions. Bathing, walking, baking a loaf of bread or reading a book are calming, slow activities, but they can change your body's state from being alert and out of balance to being more calm and focused.
Keep a journal about your achievements. Frustration is often accompanied by a feeling of not knowing the purpose and meaning of the problem, and frustrated people rarely have a realistic view of themselves. Fight this by keeping a record of all your accomplishments, including everyday tasks that you have difficulty doing. If you can't find any accomplishments at all, you may have a self-esteem problem. Ask a friend or relative to help you find good times when you feel proud.
Exercise to reduce stress. Physical activity helps to relieve stress caused by frustration, especially when exercising in the right environment. Walking or hiking in the natural environment is best. If you are not used to exercising, you should only exercise moderately to feel refreshed without exhaustion.
- When you're working on a difficult task where you can't pause to exercise, take a break from taking a deep breath or meditating.
Fight off procrastination. Frustration can lead to delay or lack of motivation to work. Many times people spend hours just doing things that are useless or uninteresting, or are unable to accomplish their goals because they are hesitant. If the description above applies to you, break this delay cycle with the following:
- Eliminate the element of useless distraction. Whether you are distracting or tend to distract yourself to delay work, you can fix this: turn off all your phones, electronics, or the internet unless the job requires you to. , tidy up all unnecessary belongings at work.
- Set a deadline and a reward. Tired or boring jobs can erode the will to work. If so, put extra pressure on yourself by giving you a small reward like a meal, an outing etc., provided you get the job done within an hour or at the end of the day.
Change work order. If something makes you uncomfortable, switch to something else or have fun for a while and then get back to work. If you often feel frustrated at work, you should think of different ways to work more smoothly, or ask for assignments or arrange different schedules.
- Focus on one job at a time. Don't do many things at once. Trying to do more than one thing at the same time only makes you more difficult and ultimately wants to avoid it, even if you think you're good at it yourself. Instead of doing two things at the same time, alternate between the two if they bothers you.
- Consider alternating between tasks to avoid frustration, while staying productive. Set aside half an hour to an hour for each task, then take a five-minute break before moving on to something else.
- If your job causes a lot of stress and frustration, go on vacation, take days off or even look for another job.
Consider your expectations for the world around you. If you always want things to go well, nothing goes wrong or achieves every goal easily, then you just need to add stress and frustration. The important things in life like work, school, relationships, special skills are all not easy to acquire. It may seem easy at first, but not always.
Recognize negative behavior. Frustration often leads to negative thoughts and behaviors, making the situation worse. Try to recognize times when you have this behavior to take a break immediately and apply the advice above. The following are negative behaviors stemming from frustration:
- Think about what could have happened or wish for your life.
- Spend hours doing something neither fun nor beneficial, like watching a TV show you don't like.
- Sit in one place and do nothing.
Method 3 of 3: Coping with frustrations in relationships and friendships
Don't say when you're angry. Strongly expressing a negative emotion rarely benefits the relationship. If you get angry often with someone, it will be much more beneficial to talk calmly. To do so, move away until your anger has subsided.
Only one issue is raised at a time. Just talk about a single issue, like an action or behavior that often annoys you, and focus on the topic until you have taken it seriously. You should explore the causes or actions involved together, but avoid making the conversation a time to list all the things that upset you.
- At first try to agree with them that you will both focus on discussing the matter at hand.
Give the person an opportunity to raise an opinion. You let them say everything they want to say and listen attentively. You must listen attentively to how you should respond, and avoid impulsive reactions. If this is difficult, repeat their words to stay focused, and remember to match facial expressions and body language to what you hear.
- For example, if you are having an argument with your partner, don't interrupt them. Let her or him finish talking before responding and have to consider his words rather than out loud words.
Repeat the other's words. That shows you understand what they say, and gives them the opportunity to reconsider what they have said, and is a time for the two of you to clear up the unknowns. This is a very difficult step because it is not easy for you to focus on listening without thinking about what to say next.
- For example, if a friend says you never spent time with them, repeat this by asking them, "Do you really think you never made time for you?". That way, the friend will hear his complaints again and understand your feelings when listening.
Be honest but compassionate. Speak honestly about how you feel and what you want to change, and ask them to say their honest thoughts as well. Avoid saying insulting or hurting things. You should use sentences that begin with "I" to state your thoughts, avoid starting with the word "you" so as not to make the listener feel indicted.
- Avoid passive aggressive behavior, such as hiding your true feelings or swearing at someone behind them.
- Avoid sarcasm or offensive language while talking, and do not joke around.
Avoid using words of extreme expression. Typically words like ‘always’ and ‘never’. These words put the opponent on a defensive stance, as they completely dismiss their attempt even if it fails.
- For example, you should not say "I never take out the garbage!", Instead should say "I do not take out the garbage according to the schedule we agreed to".
Brainstorm together to find solutions. Try to find a compromise on both sides. Sometimes you should write down a list of ideas together, but at first you do not need to find the perfect answer. If necessary, you should make it clear that this solution is only temporary and will discuss it again a few weeks later to see if it is suitable or not.
- For example, if you get frustrated with your friend refusing to repay the loan, try negotiating a payment plan instead of just getting frustrated by not being able to get all the money back at once.
Recognize the efforts of others. Thank them for trying to change your behavior that annoys you. Even small changes - smaller than you would like - are the premise for bigger change if you encourage them.
- Take the example above of the person you owe money to, in this case you should say that you are very satisfied with the repayment plan, or even thank them for agreeing to sit down and discuss the possible time. pay. Appreciating the others' efforts will be helpful for future cooperation.
Advice
- If you are unsure of what is upsetting you, ask a friend, counselor or therapist for advice.
Warning
- Using alcohol and drugs is not a healthy way to deal with frustration, and it doesn't bring success either.
