Content

• Steps
• Advice

Fastidious people are everywhere. That person can also be you. Many people go through a time when they don't behave to their best. If you want to maintain a relationship with a difficult person, you need to develop some coping and negotiation strategies.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Approach difficult people

1. 

   Choose a smart strategy. When dealing with a difficult person, you should decide when is the best time to make the effort to discuss the issue. Not any battle is necessary. The sooner you realize this, the happier your life will be. Ideally, you and the difficult person can ignore the difference and come to terms with each other. Sometimes, this won't be possible.
   • Ask yourself if the situation you are facing is causing you so much pain that you need to deal with it.
   • Consider your relationship with the person. If the difficult person is your boss or any other powerful person, try to accept what you don't like (unless it's an act of violence). If the person is a friend or relative, consider whether ignoring a situation encourages bad behavior or simply saves you time and avoids grieving. misery for you.

2. 

   
   
   Paused for a moment. Take a deep breath before reacting to focus your thoughts and calm yourself down. If the conflict is via email or text, avoid texting the other person when you're upset. Take some time to reduce your stress levels. After that, you will be able to reach the person in a more sensible way.
   • If possible, discuss the issue in a neutral situation or at the location where the particular activity is taking place. For example, you can chat with the person while walking. This approach will help limit negative face-to-face interactions.

3. 

   
   
   State your needs with an assertive attitude. Don't give the person a chance to manipulate or distort your words. Try to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example:
   • “I know that you are disappointed by my delay. I will have the same feeling as well. But unfortunately, this morning, the subway system was shut down and everyone was trapped in the station. I'm sorry to keep you waiting! ”.
   • Don't say, “It is unreasonable to expect that I will be on time when the subway system breaks down. If you are really interested, you may have checked out my train schedule ”.

4. 

   
   
   Maintain a polite attitude. No matter what the person's reaction may be, stay calm. Avoid cursing. Take a breath before answering. It's important not to lower yourself to the person's level. At the same time, the calmer you are, the easier it is for the other person to see and reflect on their behavior.

5. 

   Follow the truth. Keep the story short and clear and not be immersed with too much detail or emotion. It is likely that the person will not understand your point of view and that you will not need to try to convince them. You should be telling the truth and not feeling as though you need to defend yourself.
   • Avoid triggering themes. For example, if you often argue when talking about vacation with your sister-in-law, don't discuss it! Let the other person be the medium in leading this topic.
   • Don't be conservative. You may want to argue about your views, but for the difficult person it is best to ignore these arguments. Don't waste time trying to prove you are right. Instead, stay neutral in the situation.

6. 

   Limit interaction. Hopefully, though, you'll be able to deal with a difficult person, or limit your time with that person. If you need to interact, try to keep things short by asking permission to excuse yourself or by getting a third person into the conversation. Stay positive as much as possible and be sure to calm down right after.
   • Accept that the person may never be the friend, co-worker, or sibling you expected.

7. 

   Chat with allies. If things are not working and you need to work hard to resolve the problem, you can talk to a potential mediator. Maybe your boss will help make the situation better. If a conflict is going on in your family, find a negotiable person everyone knows. You should only share and complain with someone you trust.

Method 2 of 2: Change Your Mind

1. 

   Be aware that difficult people are everywhere. No matter where you live or work, you will come across someone who seems like they were born just to hurt others. It is important that you learn how to deal with these people. Because it can be difficult to avoid them, identifying a few different types of difficult people can help you decide on the best way to interact with them. These include:
   • People with a "hostile" attitude tend to react violently. They love to criticize, enjoy arguing, and have difficulty accepting that they are wrong. They are often powerful people or cyber bully.
   • People who are "sensitive to rejection" often seek insults. In other words, they are easily offended. They often use written means (email, text message) to express their dissatisfaction.
   • The "excitable" type of person is another type. They may show anxiety and pessimism and often criticize others.
   • People who "consider themselves first" often put their own interests first. They don't like compromise and are also extremely sensitive to personal insults.

2. 

   Increase your tolerance to disappointment. The person's behavior may be out of your control, but it's up to you to decide how you react and whether you should care about them. One way to do this is through increasing your tolerance to disappointment, including challenging inappropriate beliefs that can cause you to become stressed, angry, or lose your temper.
   • When interacting with a difficult person, you may think "I can't stand this person anymore!". Before you react based on this inappropriate thought, you should take a deep breath and question its validity.
   • The truth is you may tolerate that person. You won't die or go crazy just because your mother-in-law is in a hurry to get ready for the New Year's Eve, or because your boss is scolding. You are a strong human being and you know that you can tolerate it. Your choice lies in method you see things: do you get stressed until your blood pressure rises, or should you take a deep breath and give your mother-in-law a carrot so she can be busy with one thing? what?
   • When you find yourself using words such as "need", "can't", "should", "must do", "always" or "never", take a few minutes to recycle. evaluate that thought.

3. 

   Test your behavior. If people keep attacking you, it may be because you are drawing the wrong person's attention. For example, if you are overly negative, a pessimist will surround you. Find friends with positive attitudes.
   • What is your role when you have had negative experiences in the past? How you act in response to that behavior. For example, a friend named Lan is constantly bullying you. Would you respond or not? Do you stand up for yourself?
   • It can be helpful to be aware of your strengths and weaknesses. This way, when you face a difficult person in the future, you will be more equipped to be able to deal with them.

4. 

   Be careful when it comes to recognizing others. One of your friends may look pretty tough, but she's probably going through a tough time. Instead of judging someone else's behavior right away, show empathy by taking a step back and looking back at how you feel in that person's position. If you are sensitive to personality differences, you will be able to deal with many different conflicts.
   • Practice accepting by taking a deep breath and looking at the person with as sympathetic eyes as possible. Tell yourself: "I realize that you are suffering. I accept that you are worried and frightened, even I don't understand why. I accept that you are making me worry too. to settle ".
   • When you accept the "nature" of things, perceive and acknowledge that the person is having a hard time, you will be able to release the stress caused by resistance or the feeling of wanting to fight.
   • Visualize your reasons for showing sympathy for their behavior. You may not understand why a client is angry at you for no apparent reason. Instead of getting angry with yourself, think that the person may be suffering from severe, chronic pain that makes the person very angry. It doesn't matter if the reason is true or even realistic - it will help you stay calm and not be affected by the negativity.

Advice

• Never swear. Swearing only angers the other person and shows that you have lost control.
• Remember to stay calm at all times and if you feel that you are getting angry, turn away.