Content

• Steps

Rejection is a common human experience, but it is still incredibly painful. If your friend is overcoming a rejection, you can help them by listening attentively, and seeing the rejection as it is. For many people, being rejected can lead to depression; Knowing the signs of clinical depression will help you to help your friend cope better.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Become a good listener

1. 

   Don't provide a response if the person doesn't ask. If your friend has just been rejected, they won't want to hear about things they can improve to increase their chances in the future. Although some of the person's actions or words may have contributed to their denial, or even unemployment or poor relationships, undesirable advice would be. It is difficult to be of any help to them in this moment.
   • For example, this is not the time to remind the person that they have spent a lot of time complaining about the job they just lost, or about the person who broke up with them.
   • Rejection can be painful regardless of circumstances, so being a good listener is an effective way to help your friend cope with this initial pain.
   • If the person says they don't know what they did wrong, and asks you to help them figure out why, you can provide polite suggestions.

2. 

   
   
   Help your friend correct the denial. You shouldn't be too quick to talk about the “growth opportunities” associated with denial, but you should also help your friend find ways to capitalize on the experience in a beneficial way. There are quite a few positive aspects to any situation. Sometimes a friend will be needed to help you find them.
   • For example, if the person was not offered the job they wanted, they would now have the family vacation they had been waiting for.
   • Being single means more freedom. If any publisher refuses to post your stories, you will have the opportunity to submit them elsewhere.

3. 

   
   
   Looking back at that friend's feelings. One way to support them is to help them cope with their pain. Ask how they are feeling, and confirm that their feelings are normal. If the person knows they can share any pain with you based on being a friend, without being rejected, they'll feel better.
   • Saying something like "It sounds like things are going crazy for you" will help the person feel supported.

4. 

   
   
   Ready to sit quietly. If your friend is deeply hurt by rejection, they won't be able to put their feelings into words. They may want to sit quietly with you. Just being with them and showing that you're willing to listen when they want to talk is enough.
   • You can always give the person a hug, or a light touch, to show support.
   • Talking about a different topic rather than a denial, or doing something together together can be a way to provide help to a friend who isn't ready to share his feelings. For example, you can go hiking together, or play games together.
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Part 2 of 3: Realistic real-world rejection

1. 

   Acknowledge the person's efforts. Rejection is a side effect of trying something new and brave. Even if the end result doesn't go well - the person they like to stop calling, that person doesn't get a role for the play, doesn't get a promotion - the process of trying to do what they want is worth it. to be recognized.
   • A reminder of the possibility of rejection can be quite helpful. For example, writers often have to seal their room walls with rejection letters because they are quite common. Even famous writers had to receive hundreds of rejection letters before their work was published.
   • If this is an issue with a low chance of rejection - for example a position for a job - you can remind the person that they can try again if they get rejected this time.

2. 

   Let the person know that it is okay to say no. Anyway, anyone must experience rejection that goes on throughout his or her life. Joining a sports team, applying to college, trying to get the perfect job, or inviting someone you love to hang out with are all opportunities of denial.
   • Even if you say no, it feels like it's a personal matter, usually it's just the wrong timing.
   • No matter how smart, funny, talented you are - everyone will be rejected. If possible, look for a successful person and consider the number of rejection they have encountered.

3. 

   Consider sharing your own experiences of rejection. It helps to let the person know that they are not the only ones rejected. Sharing your rejection - the job you got fired from, the rejects you got, your bad relationship - can help your friend feel better and less lonely than.
   • Also, keep in mind that the experience the person has experienced may be different from you. Don't talk too much about yourself, and don't pretend you know their feelings.
   • Never say “You will…” or “You should…” to encourage them.Although for you the term is just supportive, the person trying to deal with a rejection may misunderstand you.
   • Instead, you should share how you got through the rejection similar to your friend's, and then say that each person has a different approach to handling the rejection.

4. 

   Talk about the person's good qualities. Even if your friend needs to improve some qualities, they will definitely have some positive traits. Remind the person of things that people value in them. Provide concrete examples that they won't be able to deny.
   • For example, talking about the person's great humor right after they joked about their situation will help them realize the truth in your statement.
   • Avoid giving too much praise, or saying things that you don't really believe in. The person will find that you are dishonest.

5. 

   
   
   Don't encourage your friend to keep hoping. Accepting rejection will help the person move forward in life. If you are helping them deal with rejection, you should take rejection to its superficial value.
   • No one can predict the future. Probably the person who gets hired for the position will turn it down and your friend will be the next candidate. Or maybe their ex will change his mind. But clinging to hope for a dramatic turnaround is not a useful or practical approach.
   • You don't have to stress that your friend won't get the job, or that their ex won't change his mind. Just be silent, no need to agree. The person will understand what you want to say.

6. 

   
   
   Help your friend realize that rejection is not personal. It's been a hugely popular experience: some will love us, others won't, and there's nothing we can do about it. Not everyone we love gives us the same feelings; we won't get any of the jobs we want.
   • Encourage the person to turn his attention to someone who can reciprocate their feelings.
   • Remind them that any actions they have recently taken will bring them positive attention and praise.

7. 

   
   
   Find ways to lift the person's spirits. What do they usually like to do before being rejected? Find ways to spark their excitement about them. Spend time with the person, go hiking, watch sports, or go to the movies together.
   • If a denial causes your friend to lose income, he or she will not have much financial capacity. Remember to look for activities that don't require spending money, as this will only make them feel worse.
   • Avoid doing things together that can trigger memories of rejection.
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Part 3 of 3: Watch for signs of depression

1. 

   Look for any significant change in behavior. Some signs of depression include anger at minor problems, or frequent sadness, irritability, and changes in sleep habits, such as sleeping too much or having trouble sleeping.
   • Your friend will look like a different person, even after a period of time when they should have completely "overcame" the rejection.
   • You will notice a lack of interest in everything they used to love.

2. 

   Awareness of the increase in thought of death. If the person starts talking about death or passing, listen carefully. Sayings like "I should say goodbye to life, too", or "Why can't I end everything and make people less suffering" can be a sign of suicidal thoughts, even if it was said softly.
   • If you believe the person is in danger of harming yourself (or others), talk to them directly about the issue. Ask them, "Are you trying to harm yourself?" They may deny it, but will greatly appreciate the opportunity to share.
   • If you feel that your friend is in danger or is in a crisis, you should call 112 for emergency assistance.
   • Encourage them to seek help. If the person has clinical depression, they will not be able to recover without treatment. Talk to them about everything you see, and explain why you are worried about them.
   • Let them know that you are willing to help them make an appointment, or attend a support group.
   • Remember, you cannot force the person to seek help. If they don't want treatment yet, let them know that you will always be there to help when they are ready.

3. 

   Pay attention to suicide warning signs. The warning sign is usually only recognized when you look back, but it is very common. If your friend is suffering from untreatable depression after experiencing rejection, they risk suicide. When you notice a significant increase in the following signs, you should talk to a specialist or medical consultant immediately. In an emergency, you can call 112. Some warning signs include:
   • Look for ways to kill yourself, such as storing medicine (to take an overdose) or storing sharp objects.
   • Increase your use of drugs or alcohol.
   • Give away all your belongings, or go through with all the work when there's no good reason.
   • Say goodbye to everyone as if you won't be seeing each other again.
   • Take action that is dangerous or self-destructive.
   • Show signs of change in temperament, agitation or serious anxiety, especially with a few of the signs listed above.
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