Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Your relationship may have started out quite strongly, but over time, it will take some effort to maintain it. One of the best things you can do to improve your relationship with your girlfriend is to improve communication skills. Learning how to communicate better with your partner will help you both open up and get closer, no matter what stage your relationship is in.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Become a good listener

1. 

   Ask questions. Asking questions is one of the best ways to improve communication with the person you love.Every day, you should ask each other about each other's work, feelings, and "updated" daily news about each other's life. You should also ask questions to clarify what the other person is saying, or dig deeper and make the person more open.
   • Use exploration questions. You should start with a broad, general topic, and then move on to more specific details.
   • You can start by asking your girlfriend about her day, then asking about an unpleasant event or happy moment at work.
   • Once she talks in detail about her day, you can try to apply what she said to other conversations you have. For example, you might ask, "Has that ever happened?" or "Well, I can't believe that happened after _____ told you another story last week."
   • Ask her how she feels about the event she presents. Let her know that you care, and offer her support.

2. 

   
   
   Interpret the person's words for review. A big problem in communicating with your partner is the feeling of not being heard or understood by either person. Paraphrasing what she said in your own words will show that you are listening and handling everything she is saying. It can also be a great way to stay focused in a conversation when you find yourself wandering over and having trouble concentrating on a conversation.
   • Use a natural conversational tone. If the person you love understands your interpretation as sarcasm, the conversation will quickly go awry.
   • Try to refrain from reinterpreting the other person's words. When you do this too often, it can be distracting or frustrating.
   • Rephrase what she said in your own words. Doing this shows you that you are dealing with everything she says, not simply repeating the correct word.
   • You can use the transition phrase to start the interpretation. For example, you should try to say something like "So what you're saying is ..." or "I think you understand what you mean. You're saying ________. Are you?"

3. 

   
   
   Watch for non-verbal cues. Body language is just as important as speech. Your movements during the conversation can either inadvertently send out signals, or reflect your subconscious mood. Don't be too obsessive about reading your partner's body language, but if things go wrong, ask your girlfriend if she's upset and let her know that you notice. this is through her body language.
   • If she crosses her arms, she may be feeling defensive, distant, or emotionally detached from you.
   • Avoiding eye contact can also be a sign that the other person is lacking interest in your story, feeling ashamed of what has been said or done, is distracted, or is not being open-minded.
   • Turning yourself in a different direction during the conversation can also show that the person you love is not interested, disappointed, or emotionally separated.
   • A loud, aggressive tone of voice means the conversation is escalating or is about to become tense, and emotions are high. Your partner will also feel like you are not listening or understanding her.
   • Some body language is completely random, so don't "accuse" your girlfriend of being secluded or frustrated. You should be kind by asking questions like "I see your gesture shows that you are upset, but your words are the complete opposite. What are you thinking?".
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Part 2 of 3: Chat with your girlfriend

1. 

   
   
   
   
   Be open and honest. Being honest means not lying or misleading the other person. But being honest does require you to put yourself in some degree of vulnerability, and many people struggle with this. If being open and honest is not your natural nature, you should both work hard for the sake of the relationship.
   • Open, honest communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. If the two of you cannot do this, you will be in trouble in the future.
   • Be honest with her. Don't keep your feelings hidden, as she will be upset when she finds out the truth.
   • If you are having trouble being open-minded, let the person know about the problem and try to explain why. When she knows you are struggling, she will try to help you more, and may learn to ask questions or ask for clarification.

2. 

   
   
   Reconsider before speaking. Many people are in such a hurry to state their thoughts / feelings that they forget to stop and look back on what they want to say. This situation is absolutely true for the process of expressing general thoughts, as well as responding to the words of the person you love.
   • Think carefully about what you want to say before you speak.
   • Be careful how you feel when talking to your girlfriend.
   • Speak as clearly and frankly as possible.
   • If you are replying to her, allow her to complete your sentence. Then take a few seconds to process it and think about the best way to respond clearly.

3. 

   
   
   Communicate with respect. Bân should try to show respect as much as possible when talking to her lover. For many people, respect is their obvious requirement, but it's important to pay attention to your words, tone of voice, dialogue, and body language in order to communicate. Loads of respect together.
   • Take responsibility for your own words and actions during a conversation, even if it tends to turn into a controversy.
   • Both of you need to state all of your thoughts and feelings, but with respect.
   • Acknowledge her feelings. Try to understand why your girlfriend feels this way, and respect them.
   • Conveys respect through posture. Don't slouch, avoid eye contact, or do other things while listening to her. Face her and pay full attention to her.
   • Show respect in all responses. Never interrupt her, and never say she was wrong because she felt like that.
   • If there's a misunderstanding between you two, don't get angry or upset. Instead, calmly ask questions and try to encourage her to clarify what she wants to say.

4. 

   Focus on using statements that begin with the subject "I" (yourself). When your emotions get high, especially during an argument or after you've been hurt in some way, it's easier to get back to the kind of narrative (like, "I'm a liar and I was hurting his feelings "). But psychologists have agreed that saying to the subject "I" is more effective and less stressful. It will help you present your feelings of hurt as your own, rather than an accusation or testimony about the person you love. A good "I" statement includes the following:
   • Sentences about feelings ("I feel _____")
   • A fair and emotionless description of the behavior that shapes your current feelings ("I feel _____ when you ______")
   • An explanation of why the immediate behavior or condition makes you feel ("I feel ____ when you _____, because it's _________")

5. 

   Don't be in a hurry. If you are just dating, or if you are new to sharing your feelings, take it easy. You should still work to improve communication with each other every day, but you should both openly talk about each other's comfort of sharing personal thoughts / feelings, and how much time you both need to spend. can reach that point.
   • Don't rush into deep, troubling, or difficult conversations. Let it come naturally when you're both ready to talk about them.
   • Don't push your ex, and don't allow him or her to do you.
   • Follow what you are both comfortable with, and be aware that any effort to improve communication will strengthen your relationship.

6. 

   Use self-expressive statements. These types of statements are very helpful in a relationship, especially if you are new to sharing feelings or talking about personal matters. They will help you to show yourself step-by-step but at the same time maintain a straightforward relationship with the person you love, and maybe she will start talking about herself as well. Try to develop the following suggestion to get you started:
   • You are the _____.
   • What I wish everyone knew about me was _______.
   • When he tried to express his own feelings, _____________.
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Part 3 of 3: Improve communication skills together

1. 

   Try a different communication style. There are quite a few ways of communicating, and there are not any right or wrong methods. However, some methods will work better than others, and you may have to experiment with finding the chat style that works best for both of you.
   • Remember your expression. Let the other person know how you feel, and ask her how she feels.
   • Use task-or-fact communication. Many people feel more comfortable talking about facts than about their feelings, such as "I have a feeling that I am not making a lot of money with my job" instead of saying "I am sad and worry about your own financial situation ".
   • Become assertive. Assertive communication involves communicating clearly and straightforwardly about your feelings, opinions, and needs, without compromising the interests of the other person.
   • Stay away from negative conversations. This communication style will prevent you from asserting yourself or expressing your thoughts / feelings / needs, and will ruin your relationship.
   • Minimize your emotions before talking about something important. Take a few minutes to calm down before discussing any significant issues so that your emotions don't dominate the conversation, but make sure you understand your feelings as well. of that person.

2. 

   Social chat. Social talk is incredibly effective in any relationship, and it builds the daily level of communication in your relationship. You can reminisce or laugh about your experiences together, talk about your day activities, ask about your partner's weekend plans, or simply and share your observations. find it interesting or humorous.
   • Talking socially about everyday life will help you and her get closer and get to know each other better.
   • Ask her to explain and provide more details.
   • Be sure to ask questions that convey sincere interest in her words without appearing skeptical or distrustful.

3. 

   Take time to communicate. Many people with busy lives or different schedules find communication in their relationship becoming more stressful. However, you can fix this if you both take the time to have an open, honest conversation, similar to how you spend time eating, sleeping, or going to work every day. .
   • If setting a strict schedule will help both of you organize your daily life, do the same for some private time. Spend a few hours together at least once a week to maintain a healthy, open conversation.
   • Try to limit interruptions when you're talking to your girlfriend. Turn off the TV or radio, and switch to silent / put away the phone so you don't get distracted.
   • You can talk to each other while doing everyday activities, like while driving or doing chores around the house.
   • Realize when your loved one looks troubled or seems to want to talk about something. Ask if everything is okay, or if she wants to share anything with you.
   • Remember to make sure that your conversation conveys commitment, trust, and intimacy from both of you.

4. 

   Consider seeking professional help. You may find that conversation doesn't come easily in your relationship, or that communication is strained by life events. This is okay, and it doesn't mean your relationship won't work - it simply means you need to work harder. This is when an expert can help.
   • A licensed couple therapist will help you and the person you love find ways to open up and talk to each other easier.
   • You also need to work to be more honest, consider other people's lives, and spend more time together.
   • You can search for therapists in your area through the phone book, using the online search engine, or by consulting the Physician Directory website.
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Advice

• Spend time together, no matter what's going on in your life.
• When you're together, be sure to talk to each other. You can start with a small conversation that plays a very important role, and then proceed to discuss the bigger, more important topic in life.

Warning

• Don't expect the person you love to feel as comfortable as you do when you talk about your feelings and thoughts. Everyone is different, and each relationship is not the same, so please sympathize and ask her to respect your feelings.
• If you find her getting upset, she might need some space. Don't push her, and remember to respect her boundaries.