Content

• Steps

Sometimes it can be difficult to accept an apology from someone who has really hurt you. Maybe their apology is not sincere enough, maybe you need more time to think, maybe you just can't think of a word to express your feelings. However, once you have decided to accept your apology, you can speak it out loud and seek forgiveness. If the apology seems sincere and sincere, try to accept it - for your own benefit - and show forgiveness in action.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Apology rating

1. 

   Pay attention to the wording of the apology. Notice if they use a phrase that says "I", such as "Now that I know I'm wrong, I regret it." This shows that the person is taking responsibility for his actions, an important part of the real apology. Also, listen to their tone and observe their body language. When apologizing, people often make eye contact and use a sincere voice. Avoiding eye contact, speaking evenly, or making sarcasm can be signs that the person is not being sincere.
   • A real apology must be straightforward and honest. Example: “Now I know what I did was wrong. I regret it. I'm sorry for what I did and I hope you can forgive me ”.
   • Note that each person's body language may vary, depending on the person's circumstances and health conditions. People with social anxiety, for example, may be able to avoid eye contact even though they are sincere. However, indifference is not easy to hide, so someone who just apologizes through it is easy to see.
   • Beware of fake apologies or don't actually admit mistakes. Sincere apologies may include statements like "I'm sorry you felt offended about that"; "I'm sorry for making you feel that way"; "I do not mean that"; “Even though a mistake has been made, we can overcome it”, etc. These types of “apology” are a form of separating the apologizing person from the act of hurting and showing that they want to let go of the responsibility. .

2. 

   
   
   Observe passive aggression in apologizing. This could be a sign of an insincere apology. When a person doesn't really want to apologize, they can immediately point out how wrong you were, or blame you for the most or all of what happened. That kind of apology could be a sign that the speaker is unwilling to acknowledge the error and that they are giving you responsibility for not suffering the consequences of their actions.
   • For example, a passive aggression might look like this: “Well, because I told you to go to a party with me, but you didn't go, so I had to lie to me to go alone. If you agreed to go in the first place, I don't have to lie. Sorry to you."
   • In the example above, perhaps this person is not really apologizing, but rather that they have the bad habit of using a false apology just to make up for it.

3. 

   
   
   Listen to your intuition. Of all the ways you can analyze someone's psychology, often intuition can be a powerful metric to help you consider whether to believe and accept their apology. Spend some time looking at an apology and listening to your intuition about the person and their apology. You can ask yourself the following questions:
   • Does your hunch tell you that the person is willing and honest?
   • Do they ask for your forgiveness and promise not to repeat the behavior? Those are the two key and essential elements of a sincere apology. (The remaining important factor mentioned above is taking responsibility and not blaming.)
   • Do you feel suspicious or confused around the person? If an apology causes you "fear, duty, and guilt" (emotional manipulation) then it is not an apology but a tactic they use to control you and stop you. question their actions.
   • Can you feel the sincerity of their apology?

4. 

   
   
   Think if you're willing to accept their apology. Before you accept your apology, you might want to consider your circumstances and how close you are to the person. For example:
   • If the person apologizing is a close friend or family member and this is not the first time they made a mistake, ask yourself if they are just apologizing in the hope of "getting away". Their bad behavior with past slippery promises may indicate that they have a bad habit of using apology as a shield to avoid accountability.
   • If your partner or family member apologizes to you for something unusual and rare, it may be easier to accept their apology.
   • Did the person apologize out of habit? In this case, it may be difficult to tell when they are being honest, as their habit of always apologizing can make you no longer feel their sincere apology. Ignoring the person's verbal apology, you need to see if they are responsible, can show any remorse, ask for forgiveness, and promise not to do it again.

5. 

   Give yourself time or talk to the person more closely. There are many reasons people make mistakes or hurt others. It is important that you ignore the person's old mistakes, especially if they have honestly admitted. If you're still wondering whether to trust their repentant voice, you may need a longer conversation with them to express your doubts.
   • This approach is probably better than just accepting an apology you don't believe in and keeping resentment or frustration in your heart even if you don't show it.It also allows you to articulate what hurts you and point out the consequences you want them to tackle.
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Method 2 of 4: Accept the apology

1. 

   Thank you for your apologies. Start by letting the person know that you appreciate their apology and willingness to correct the mistake. You can say something as simple as "Thank you for your apology" or "I accept your apology. Thank you."
   • Listen honestly. You have the right to expect a sincere apology, as it is normal and reasonable, but it is also your responsibility to sincerely listen to the apology, meaning not interrupting, not criticizing, and not controversial. about apologizing or while they apologize.
   • Don't dismiss their apology with statements like "It's okay", "Nothing". Your attitude can hurt their feelings because it makes the apology seem worthless, and the problem remains. It can also leave them feeling that you hate them, and this will accumulate as a boil tumor so that the problem is not really resolved. If you need more time to calm down, make it clear, such as: “Thank you, I understand your apology, but right now I am still very sad and need more time to believe it. This doesn't happen again. "
   • Be willing to show appreciation to the person for bravely apologizing and admitting their mistakes.

2. 

   Express how hurt you are / still are. After thanking the person who apologizes, make it clear and specific that you have been / are still hurt about what the person did to you. This shows you are honest about your feelings, and shows them that you are not taking the situation lightly or taking the situation down as a joke. You can say, “Thank you for apologizing to me. I'm so sad when you lied to me ”or“ I understand that you're really sorry. Thank you. I was so sad when you shouted at me in front of my parents. "
   • Be clear and straightforward about how you feel when the person treats you badly, but don't use a passive aggressive tone and don't criticize. Be as sincere and straightforward as they apologize to you.

3. 

   Say "I understand" instead of "It's okay." Say you understand why the person did, that you accept their apology and let go. You can say, “I understand why I feel the need to lie. I accept your apology ".
   • Sentences like "No problem" or "Forget it" confuses them whether or not you will accept the apology. It can also turn into jokes, disrespect, and disrespect, especially if the person is serious about apologizing. Remember that it takes courage for people to admit they are wrong, and treat their efforts as sincere until there is evidence to the contrary.
4. Respond to text apologies in clear, concise language. Text apology isn't as good as a direct apology, but it's still better than the other way around. When you receive someone's apology via text, you can take the usual steps to accept an apology, but be sure to make it clear so that the person knows how you feel. Don't forgive easily just because they don't face you, and make sure they know how much they've hurt you.
   • For example, you can leave a message: “Thank you, I need to hear your apology. I was very sad when you ignored me in class the other day, but I understand you were having a bad time ”.
   • You can also offer to speak face-to-face with the person, or talk through video chat instead of texting.
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Method 3 of 4: Demonstrating forgiveness in action

1. Try to return to normal. You've accepted a person's apology - and now what? Things might be a bit awkward at first, and you might both feel a little uncomfortable. However, if you can get past that and change the subject of the conversation or let go of the past, you can begin to bring the person back to you and get the relationship back on track. .
   • Things may not be back to normal right away, and you still need some time to settle down after the other person has apologized. Understand that there will still be a bit of ruffles left from the apology.
   • You can even get rid of the embarrassment (if any) by saying things like, "Well, it's over. Shall we go back to normal work? " or "Okay, let's get it serious now."
2. Try to forgive yourself by soothing yourself. Even if you accept someone's apology, you may still find it harder to overcome than you might think. Whenever you remember something bad that happened to you, you may feel any anxiety, sadness or stress coming back, and this is perfectly normal. If you are looking to forgive, try methods like deep breathing, meditation, or self-care therapies to relax. This way, you can soothe your old wound and think better about the person you are trying to forgive.
   • Forgiveness cannot come immediately, it may never even come. Open tolerance, but don't expect it to happen overnight.

3. 

   Suggest that you both spend a good time together. Another way to forgive is to "hit the reset button" to show the person that you are actively accepting the apology. Ask them to spend a good time together with you to show that you still enjoy playing with them and that the two of you continue to be friends. If necessary, remind the person that you are still trying to forgive, but while the wound is not healed, don't try to act as though everything is back to normal; Anyway, now both are heading towards the new normal to heal after what happened.
   • Plan an activity where the two of you have to work together, like playing a sport, going on a picnic, taking a community class together, etc. This shows you are willing to rebuild. trust and renew friendship.
   • Ask them to do things you both loved in the past to show that you are willing to let go of the negative and focus on the good times.

4. 

   Be prepared if there is a problem between you and the other person again. While you should tell yourself to try to trust the person fully again, especially if the person has sincerely admitted and accepted, you should also keep an eye out for warning signs. These could be clues that the person might repeat the same mistake or revert to a bad habit that could lead to trouble and apologize again. Try to help the person avoid making the same mistakes or hurting you like before.
   • For example, if the person starts to show up late during a date, talk to them, as they may not be aware of it. Remind them that you feel hurt when they do. This can encourage them to try harder.
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Method 4 of 4: Handling difficult situations

1. End the relationship if you can't get through. Forgiving someone is one thing, but forgetting the hurt they've caused is another. Even if you forgive someone, you may not be able to forget what they did. If so, you should break up for the good of both of you. A healthy relationship cannot thrive without resentment between the two of you.
   • You could say, “I accept your apology that day, but I'm not sure I can forget what you did. I'm sorry, but I think we're going to have to part ways. "
   • Or “I take our friendship very seriously, but what happened last month kept haunting me. I don't think I can get through this, and I need to spend some time with myself. "
2. Beware of those who continue to "get used to the old way". Give someone a second chance. But what about the third time? And the fourth time? There are people who apologize easily because they know you're okay with it, and they can "pierce" you. If your partner or friend makes a mistake over and over again and apologizes, they probably don't have a good idea to apologize. In the end, you may have to sever relationships if they don't fix their bad habits.
   • The best way to apologize is through actions, not just words. If someone continues to do what they know you will be hurting, then they don't really know the mistake.
3. Agree with people who keep apologizing. If someone you know doesn't stop apologizing, they probably really feel guilty. But it's annoying to hear them say it over and over a dozen times, and this can make you even more uncomfortable when they make a mistake. To get the person to stop, try agreeing to their apology. Instead of saying, "Okay, okay" try saying, "You know what? You're right. You made me sad, but I'm glad you apologized. ”
   • Often this is enough to reassure them and may help both of you feel more comfortable.
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