Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Deal with it right away
• Method 2 of 3: Build long-term trust
• Method 3 of 3: Dealing with bullies that won't stop
• Tips

Insults can be hurtful, especially if you don't know how to handle them. Building and showing your confidence after someone insults you isn't always easy, but if you manage to do that, it shows that you are in control of your thoughts and feelings. When faced with an insult, practice building confidence by showing your composure immediately afterward, firming up your overall long-term confidence, and pushing bullies in your life who keep trying to push it aside.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Deal with it right away

1. Take a deep breath. Designate a moment for yourself to refocus by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Turn your mind away from outside criticism and return to yourself. Close your eyes and focus on breathing slowly and steadily until you are more balanced.
   • To keep your thoughts on your breath, you can inhale for a count of three, hold your breath for a count of two, then exhale for a count of three. Repeat this if necessary.
   • You may also want to find a place to sit or calm down while you refocus.
2. Analyze the insult. Take a moment to think critically about what the person said. Is there any truth to it? Is there a reason, such as a previous conflict, why this person might want to try to intentionally hurt your feelings?
   • Are there aspects of the insult that have some truth to it? Then recognize that you may be imperfect. Know that all people make mistakes and that it is acceptable to evaluate and work on them.
   • For those parts of the insult that are incorrect, remind yourself that they are not factual and do not reflect you.
   • Tell yourself a personal truth to counter the insult. For example, if someone says, "You're stupid," remind yourself of achievements at work or in your studies, such as graduating or getting a promotion.
3. Don't respond with an insult. It can be tempting to return the insult with an insult. Ultimately, whatever your purpose (such as giving a presentation or just enjoying time with friends or family), it is always better to refuse to insult someone.
   • Remind yourself that in the end it is not good for you to offend someone.
   • Tell yourself, "The best way to annoy this person is not to insult him or her, but to make it clear that his or her words don't affect me." Try to beat the other person with kindness. Responding kindly to insults can sometimes make the other person aware of their own mistakes.
4. Restore your composure. Don't be afraid to apologize or otherwise pause and calm down to calm down. It is normal to react negatively to an insult, and those around you will understand if you take a moment to come to yourself.
   • Take a moment to take a deep breath, or repeat a positive quote or mantra to yourself.
   • Give yourself as much time as you need to work through tears or feelings of anger in a healthy way. Avoid an emotional explosion and instead give yourself plenty of time to process the feelings that are right on your way.
5. Laugh it off. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, a group of hormones that can stimulate happy or euphoric sensations. Take a moment to laugh at yourself and let the endorphins replace that feeling of panic with more positive ones.
   • Remind yourself that no one is immune from insults or criticism. Even if you don't laugh at the insult, find a personal flaw and let yourself laugh about it.
   • Try to "pretend until it is". Even if it doesn't seem funny, laugh at yourself in difficult moments. In time it will become more sincere.

Method 2 of 3: Build long-term trust

1. Learn to accept insults. You don't have to agree with what a person is saying, but learning to accept an insult takes more confidence than almost any other response. It shows that if the insult comes from someone you care about, you are willing to consider his or her point. If it comes from someone you don't care about, it shows that the other person has no power over you.
   • Practice accepting insults by exaggerating the criticisms you have received in the past. Say to yourself, "You're not that great." Then practice accepting it by saying, "You're right, I'm not that great."
   • Repeat this exercise until you feel the sting of the insult has worn off. It may or may not go away completely, but taking away the initial shock will give you the presence of mind to respond when someone insults you.
   • Remember, this exercise is not about agreeing to the other person's point. Instead, you build the confidence to acknowledge someone else's opinion and still be strong enough not to be fooled by it.
2. Make a plan to get better. Take time to think about yourself and look for what you think is your personal weaknesses. Don't let the insult dictate what you see in yourself, but point out areas you want to improve.
   • List goals and actions to help you address those weaknesses. For example, if you don't think you are a good public speaker, the practice could include having more informal conversations, practicing in front of a mirror, or even taking a public speaking course.
   • When someone insults you, remind yourself that you are taking steps to improve yourself and that it is no shame to be a work in progress.
3. Choose to continue. This is easier said than done, but one of the best ways to build confidence in the long run when faced with insults is to remind yourself that an insult is only effective when you let it hurt you. If you choose to quickly leave the insult and focus on self-improvement or any positive aspects of your personality that are present, the insult will lose its power.
   • Practice filling in statements such as, "It doesn't matter, because I am ______". Based on your positive qualities, give yourself a reason to reject the insult.
   • If someone insults you by saying something like, "That was a really bad presentation," say to yourself, "It doesn't matter, because I submitted a great report for this project.
   • Understand that breaking free from the insult can take time. Think of putting insults aside quickly in favor of your own positive qualities as a goal, rather than an immediate solution.
4. Surround yourself with good people. One way to not only build trust but also minimize unnecessary criticism is to surround yourself with positive influences. Put time into friendships, family relationships, and school or work that you find satisfying, and avoid those that hinder you.
   • Positive relationships will help you build your confidence by celebrating when you are doing well in life and spurring you on to achieve positive things. Find out who in your life fits that image.
   • Look at who is offending you. If it's a family member or someone who calls themselves your friend, consider stepping back or breaking up. Let the other person know that you don't want the constant criticism and negative influence in your life.

Method 3 of 3: Dealing with bullies that won't stop

1. Ignore them. Most bullies are looking for attention. If they insult you and you react angrily, then you are doing exactly what they hope for. Deprive the bully and appear confident by simply ignoring what the bully says.
   • If a bully interrupts you to insult you while you're speaking, just go ahead and ignore what the person has said.
   • Be consistent. A bully may try to force a response by speaking louder, repeating the insult, or using more verbal aggression. Stay consistent and hopefully the bully will get enough of it.
2. Create distance between you and the bully. Watch the bully insult you and just walk away. Do this confidently, smiling, and with your head held high, to show that that person's insult is not affecting you in any way.
   • If the bully is following you, keep walking until the other person leaves or you are where you want to be.
   • Don't bother avoiding your bully. You can go wherever you want for school, work or your personal life. Confidently walk past the bully to let him know that he shouldn't dominate your actions.
3. Tell someone about it. If the bully turns from insults into threats of aggression or physical aggression, don't be afraid to call in the authorities. Include someone who can help you calm the person down, or help protect you from these threats. Know that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help in dealing with aggression.
   • Consider talking to your teacher, boss, or counselor when a bully turns from insults to threats or physical aggression.
   • If a bully physically attacks you, report it to your office or campus security, or notify the police immediately. Call as soon as possible and say, "I need immediate help. I am being physically attacked. "

Tips

• You don't have to feel confident from within to act confident. If someone insults you, acting confident is often enough to fool them, and if you do it well enough, you may also believe it yourself.
• Understand there is a difference between constructive criticism and insults. Criticism can help you deal with shortcomings in an area that you are otherwise strong in, while an insult is primarily intended to hurt you.
• If someone insults you, think before responding - otherwise you could make the situation worse.