Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Start a conversation with a woman
• Method 2 of 3: Approach a woman with her friends
• Method 3 of 3: Build confidence and keep it natural

Addressing women at the bar can be one of the most terrifying things anyone can do. Fear of rejection and the possibility of humiliation is an overwhelming thought for many. However, by following specific steps and techniques you can build your self-esteem and start engaging with confident women in the pub.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Start a conversation with a woman

1. Make eye contact with the girl you want to talk to. A great way to let someone know you're interested in them is to make eye contact. Just make sure you don't stare for long or it can look scary. Don't get discouraged if she doesn't notice you the first time. Make sure you are within her line of sight and try to catch her eye when she looks your way.
   • If a girl makes eye contact with you, but her face remains rigid, confused, disgusted, or expressionless, chances are she's not the right person to speak to.
   • If a girl makes eye contact more than two or three times in a row, chances are she's interested in you.
   • Research shows that those in love tend to stare each other in the eye for extended periods of time.
2. Smile and see if she smiles back. Not all smiles mean the same. The kind of smile you want to see is a heartfelt smile that uses the muscles in her eyes and mouth, also known as a Duchenne smile. Some women just smile at others so as not to appear threatening or rude, but not as an invitation to speak.
   • People are more likely to smile when they see someone they find attractive.
   • A smile also makes you easier to approach.
3. Read her body language. Does she fold her arms, avoid eye contact, or turn away from you? These are all signs that she is not interested. A woman who is interested in having a conversation with you will often have a more upright posture, with her knees facing you.
   • If she is smoothing or touching her hair, this is also a sign that she likes you.
4. Approach her in a non-threatening way and introduce yourself. Never approach a girl from behind or touch her if you don't know her. This could hold her back and ruin your chances of talking to her for the rest of the evening. Instead, approach her in a way that she can see you and keep smiling as you approach her.
   • Don't walk straight up to her like you're up to something. Instead, walk in her direction, but let the approach appear natural and not forced.
   • Things you can say are, "Hello", "Hi", "Are you having a good time?", Or "I saw you on the other side of the bar".
   • You don't need an elaborate opening line and some girls even think it's corny.
5. Ask her if you can offer her something to drink. A good excuse to start a conversation is to talk about a drink. It's also a kind gesture she'll appreciate. Always make sure to ask her what she would like to drink before ordering anything.
   • If she refuses and doesn't seem comfortable, then just leave.
   • If the girl takes the drink but doesn't seem interested in chatting, then you have to accept that. Not all girls feel like talking.
6. Sit next to her and try to find common interests. Sit next to her if she accepts the drink and it looks like she wants to talk. Try to find common interests. You can use your environment for this, such as the city where you are, your favorite bar or a local sports team. Find out what kind of person she is and talk about her interests.
7. Practice that technique wherever you are. Practicing such techniques in places other than a pub or club is ideal because you get used to doing it in low-stress situations. Try this method at the grocery store, mall, or school to meet new people.
   • If you try it in a low-stress situation with someone you're not interested in, you can practice without fear of rejection.

Method 2 of 3: Approach a woman with her friends

1. Introduce yourself to the group of girls. When you see girls out in a group, it's important that you involve them all and treat them equally. Even if you only like one girl in the group, ignoring or rejecting her friends will make her angry at you or find you an idiot.
   • It's okay to change who you focus on when you meet someone in the group who is more interesting or attractive. Make sure not to send signals to more than one girl, or problems could arise.
   • Some good opening lines are, "Hey girls, how are you tonight?" Or "Are you all having fun?"
   • Another great way to start is to ask them their thoughts on a relevant topic you discussed with a friend.Examples include: "Me and my friend talked about whether the new Kanye album is as good as his old songs. What do you think? "Or" My friend thinks vodka is the best drink, but I think whiskey is. What do you think?'
   • Shaking hands is a great way to make physical contact with new girls you meet, but some might even be receptive to a hug. If they go for the hug, then hug back.
2. Be the pacemaker of the party and offer her and her friends drinks. If you can make a good impression on her friends, the girl you've set your sights on will find you a lot more attractive. In addition, in some circles it is considered vulgar to offer a girl a drink but ignore her friends.
   • If you don't have enough money to offer something to everyone, you can offer to buy songs on the jukebox.
   • Don't be mean to her friends.
3. Remember to pay special attention to her, but don't isolate her. As much as you want to involve her friends and keep them happy, you don't want her to start thinking you're not interested in her either. Try your best to give her special attention, but never do it aggressively.
   • When talking to her friends, make sure to compliment her in a non-sexual way.
   • If there is a lull in the conversation or if the group drops out into individual groups, take the opportunity to speak to her one on one.

Method 3 of 3: Build confidence and keep it natural

1. Just expect to have a fun night out. For those who suffer from social anxiety, meeting new people can be therapeutic. Expectations, however, can cause extra stress, because you strive for an expected result. Instead of worrying about things to do when you go out, try to stay relaxed and have fun. Concentrate on your own happiness without addressing women.
   • For some people, hyper-social situations like bars or clubs are too much. If this is the case for you too, join a hiking group or local sports club before diving into the nightlife.
   • Never expect to get intimate when you go out and meet girls.
2. Don't take rejection harshly or get discouraged. Not everyone will want to talk to you and that is a reality you have to accept. Extenuating circumstances, such as an existing relationship, can cause the woman to refuse to speak to you.
   • You also need to realize that rejection is usually not a reflection of who you are as a person.
3. Be convinced that being yourself is good enough. Even though it's tempting to pretend, women can tell when someone is genuine or confident. Don't try to compensate for your personality by talking about things that aren't true and have faith in who you are, be it positive or negative.
   • Positive thinking and maintaining a positive self-image will help you build self-confidence. If you don't think you're a great person, think about all the things you've done to make other people happy.
   • Breathing more slowly and relaxing your neck and shoulder muscles can also help with your confidence.
4. Don't force things or feel defeated. There will be some evenings when no woman you approach will want to talk to you. In these cases, don't get desperate and don't just go up to the person right in front of you. Instead, relax and realize that you can't have success every night.
   • Instead of getting upset, go home and do something you really enjoy or get some takeout from your favorite restaurant.
   • Never insult anyone if you have a hard time talking to women. This will only make you look like an idiot and probably ruin your chance to talk to a woman for the rest of the evening.
5. Don't go to the pub if you're broke. If you don't have money to spend, then you won't feel confident all night long and you will get stressed about spending money. If you don't have the money, think of another social opportunity that you can go to that doesn't require money.
   • You can meet people at the supermarket, the park, or at school if you are on a tight budget.
   • Don't spend your money at the pub if you have responsibilities that you already have a hard time maintaining, such as paying your rent or loans.