Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Finding out what makes you happy
• Part 2 of 4: Determining what you want in a career
• Part 3 of 4: Figuring out what you want in a relationship
• Part 4 of 4: Determining what you want in a family

You have to be honest with yourself to find out what will make you really happy in life. No two people will walk the same path to a contented life, no matter how well they fit together, so you need to dig deep into yourself to find out what works best for you as an individual. This article will help you figure out what it is that can make you happy, and then give some tips on how to achieve that happiness.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Finding out what makes you happy

1. Determine your core values. Write down the three aspects of your life that are most important to you and rank them according to their importance. Does your family come before or after your faith in God, if you believe in God? Is it more important for you to spend time on the hobbies that make you personally happy, or to focus on the career that supports your family and gives them a comfortable life?
   • Ranking your values ​​and priorities will help you determine whether or not you are devoting an appropriate amount of energy to every aspect of your life.
2. List your favorite activities. There are no right or wrong answers, but be honest. Maybe traveling is the most fun for you, or maybe it's a well-cooked meal. Maybe you like to talk about books and give literary criticism. You may like to be the one who writes the books, not the one who talks about the books other people have written.
   • The list may change over time. What makes you happy at 20 may not be what makes you happy at 30. Don't be married to an idea of ​​"who you are" - adjust your list over time to show what makes you happy in the moment.
   • Ask yourself what you'd like to do if money wouldn't be an issue to find out what you're really passionate about.
3. Do not rely on material possessions. Having "stuff" makes many people happy, but don't be fooled into thinking that material things are the only source of joy. You may want a nice sound system because you love music, but focus on your love for music, not the sound system. Be aware that going to concerts, singing with friends, and whistling on the way to work are all equally important elements that, along with that beautiful sound system, bring you joy.
4. Put on meditation. Meditation can be incredibly beneficial for mental health and happiness, and can clear your mind so you can see your priorities more clearly. Although it has religious and mystical roots, meditative techniques can be used by anyone for relaxation and stress relief.
   • Find a quiet environment free from distracting noises and activities - a place where you can clear your mind and focus on your state of being.
   • With your eyes closed, sit in a comfortable position (such as the lotus position) and focus on your breathing.
   • Breathe in and out slowly, deeply and purposefully.
   • Focus on your breathing, what it feels like as the air enters and leaves your body. Be fully present in your body at this point and do your best not to think about anything else.
   • Do this at the same time every day to make it a habit. Early in the morning, before you go to work, is a good time for meditation as it calms you down and prepares you for the rest of your day. Look for positive things to focus on in the present.

Part 2 of 4: Determining what you want in a career

1. List your strengths. The most fulfilling careers are the ones that make the best use of your strongest skills. If you are a great speaker and you really enjoy giving presentations, then you are wasting your talents behind a desk as a programmer. Maybe you should be a teacher instead!
   • Your career strengths are different from the strengths of your skills that make you happy.
   • Are you a good speaker?
   • Is it best to work alone or in a team?
   • Do you work best when you are given tasks or when you can lead your own projects?
2. List your passions. While not everyone can have a career in something they absolutely love, most people should be able to match interests and careers to some degree.
   • There are many tests you can take to find out what kind of jobs best suit your interests.
3. Imagine your ideal daily schedule. Some people can't stand the idea of ​​working in an office environment from 9-5 a.m. every day. If you need the flexibility to work at your own pace, during your own working hours, from an environment of your choice, then you may need to look for freelance or contract work. For example, other people can't imagine the constantly changing roster of a college professor, and long for the stability and ritual of 9-5 working days and a Monday to Friday working week.
   • Ask yourself what kind of planning would work best with your work habits.
   • Don't opt ​​for freelance work if you get easily distracted and lose focus!
   • Note that freelance and contract work is less stable than regular office work and usually does not provide employee benefits.
4. Draw up a budget. While you should never choose a career for the money alone, you also don't want to work without ever making enough money to support yourself and your family. Calculate a budget for how much money you will need to keep your family at an acceptable level of prosperity.
   • Search online for average salaries across different career paths. Check whether the career you are thinking about can be combined with your budget.
   • Think about how long and what additional work, such as additional training, you will need to do to achieve your career goals.
5. Don't be afraid of a career change. If you are stuck in a job that you hate, you may be daydreaming about a career that really satisfies you, but there can also be a number of things, such as time, ego, and fear of losing financial stability, that will make you feel better. stop pursuing a career that will make you truly happy. You have to put everything on hold except your satisfaction with your career.
   • To prepare for a career change, you need to save as much money as possible. A career change sometimes means you have to start your new job in a lower paid position before you can move up the ladder again.

Part 3 of 4: Figuring out what you want in a relationship

1. Write down a list of your core values. If you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, then you want a partner who shares your basic outlook on life. What are your most uncompromising, unchanging beliefs? Some examples could be:
   • The size of your future family; many, few or no children
   • How you want to raise your children
   • Religious Beliefs
   • Feelings about marriage and / or divorce
   • Approaching conflict and solving problems?
2. Make a list of essential traits you want to find in a partner. You will never find someone who fits your entire partner wish list perfectly, so you will have to be realistic about what are the main characteristics you are looking for. Prioritize the things you want in a relationship and identify the five most important elements. Some examples could be:
   • Sense of humour
   • Good appearance
   • Sharing your taste in music or other hobbies
   • Loves / avoids outdoor activities
   • Financial stability
3. Learn to be happy with yourself. No matter how great your romantic partner you find is, you will never be happy in a relationship until you can be satisfied with yourself. You will also have a better idea of ​​what you want and need in a partner if you are the best version of yourself you can possibly be, and are happy with it.
4. Ignore the lists you have made. While it's good to know what you want in a relationship, don't shut yourself off from potential partners just because they don't fit a biased idea you wrote down on a piece of paper. Admit that you will never find someone who fits your full checklist, and just be open to spending time with the people you feel close to.

Part 4 of 4: Determining what you want in a family

1. Find out if you want to have children. Some people know from an early age that they want to be parents, but for many it is not so obvious. There's nothing wrong with that! Don't let anyone - parents, friends, society in general - pressure you to make a choice you don't want for yourself. Some things to keep in mind are:
   • Do you feel called to parenthood? Although it is more often attributed to women (biological clock, maternal instinct), sometimes both men and women simply feel the urge to start a family. Other times, the need is simply not there.
   • Can you afford a family? In mid-2014, the estimated cost of raising a child from birth to adulthood is € 245,000. How much leeway will that give you, based on your family income? Will you be able to give children a good quality of life? Will you have a comfortable retirement?
   • Do you understand the reality of parenting? While most parents will say that their children are their greatest joy and achievement, they will also tell you how difficult it is to raise a child. As a parent, it is your responsibility to protect your child from all dangers, provide him or her with the best life possible, and socialize him or her into a responsible global citizen. You have to be able to handle angry outbursts and expensive wish lists, etc., etc .. It is a tough job!
   • Remember that women can always have their eggs frozen if they choose not to have children at the most appropriate age. While it is more difficult for women to conceive with age, freezing young eggs gives you a better chance of having a child if you choose to start a family later in life.
2. Decide if you want a large or small family. If you decide you want to have children, the next step is to determine how big you want your family to be. Again, some people feel it in their bones that they want a big family. But there are many practical considerations to keep in mind.
   • Again, each child costs about £ 245,000 for the first 18 years of their life!
   • How much attention can you give to each child? A single child will get as much attention as their parents have to offer, but with each additional child your attention will become more and more spread across your family. How much time do you have to take each child to their individual after-school activities, help with homework, have them talk to them about their days, etc.
   • How much company do you want your child to have? Especially when you can't give undivided parental attention to a child, having lots of siblings means that your kids always have playmates to keep them busy and help each other through difficult emotional times where they don't always turn to their parents.
   • Remember that with your third child you are officially in the minority. With two children, one parent can handle one child each in a certain situation, but with three children there is an extra child running around freely!
3. Consider whether you want to be a working or stay-at-home parent. While in the traditional gender roles, a man is in the workplace and a woman is raising the children at home, nowadays both men and women should feel equally comfortable in both roles.
   • Childcare for children whose parents both work can be so expensive, depending on where you live, that it may not be worth the extra income from your job.
   • Do you like that other people spend so much time raising your kids, no matter how much you trust them?
   • Do you want to be present at all milestones in your child's development and does working in the office get in the way?
   • Would you feel claustrophobic if you were at home with your child all day, or as if you were only defined by your identity as a parent?
   • Would staying at home hinder your passions and interests that you can explore at work (that you love) every day?
4. Ask yourself what kind of parent you want to be. Whatever a truckload of parenting books would have you believe, there is no one right way to be a parent. After all, people have been raising children for centuries without a manual. However, it is important to think about what kind of parent you would like to be in order to be as happy as possible.
   • Learn about different parenting styles to find out how you want to raise your family.
   • As a parent, do you want to be directly involved and help your children in all their decisions and activities, or do you want a more casual approach, where you let children make mistakes so they can learn from them?
   • How involved do you want to be in your children's education? Do you check their homework every night? Do you give extra homework outside of the classroom? Or do you see the teachers as more qualified and leave the education of your children to them?
   • How do you want to reprimand your kids when they make mistakes? Would you be more comfortable in a role as a forgiving or punishing parent? Another way to think about it could be: "Do you want to be more of a coach who helps make good decisions or a referee who points out and punishes mistakes?
   • Do you put your children first above all else, or is your marriage or relationship a priority? How about your personal happiness?