Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Decide to stop lying
• Method 2 of 3: Make a plan
• Method 3 of 3: Stay honest
• Tips

Is lying second nature to you? Once you have made it a habit it will be very difficult to tell the truth again. Lying can become an addiction, just as smoking and drinking can. It provides support, and you will fall back on it whenever you are faced with uncomfortable situations. As with most addictions, it is essential to your wellbeing to quit. And, as with other addictions, admitting that you have a problem is the first step.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Decide to stop lying

1. Find out why you are lying. People often develop the habit of lying at a young age. Perhaps you learned as a child that you got your way more often when you lied, you continued that practice into your teens, and you still use it today to deal with the difficult things in life. Knowing the root cause of your lying is the first step you need to take to get rid of lying.
   • Do you lie to gain the upper hand in situations If you know that lying will get your way, it will be difficult to tell the truth. Maybe you lie routinely to get people to do what you want.
   • Do you lie to put yourself in a better light? Our competitive drive wraps us up from the moment we are able to know exactly what that means. Lying is an easy way to raise your status at work, in your social circles, and even with your loved ones.
   • Maybe you lie to reassure yourself. Speaking the truth is often difficult; it causes tension, embarrassment and discomfort. Lying to others, and sometimes to yourself, prevents you from facing uncomfortable situations and feelings.
2. Determine why you want to quit. Why stop lying when it makes life so much easier? If you don't have clear reasons for quitting, it is a lot harder to become an honest person. Think carefully about how lying will affect your self-esteem, your relationships, and the course of your life. Here are some good reasons to stop lying:
   • To feel sincere again. When you lie you distance yourself from reality. You hide parts of yourself and project improper things onto the world. Doing this repeatedly will negatively affect your sense of goodness and self-esteem. You deserve the relief of being able to tell the truth about yourself. You deserve to be known for who you really are. Regaining the ability to take pride in your own identity is probably the number one reason to stop lying.
   • To create real bonds with people again. Lying to others prevents a true bond from being created. Good relationships are based on the ability to share information about oneself with others. The more you reveal about each other, the closer you become. Not being able to be honest with other people will negatively affect your ability to make friends and your ability to feel part of a community.
   • To regain the trust of other people. Lying may not cause physical harm, but if it is used to manipulate the behavior of others, it affects their free will. It also diminishes their right to make choices based on the truth. If the people you know caught you in a lie, they will protect themselves from future manipulation. They do this by no longer trusting you. The only way to regain someone's trust is to be honest, and stay that way until they take your word for it again. It can take years for confidence to fully recover - so start right away.
3. Make a promise to quit. Treat lying like any other addiction. Make a promise to yourself that you are going to quit. Stopping lying requires a lot of work and commitment. So schedule a date for when you are going to start. Also put together a plan of action so that you increase your chances of success. Reading this article is a great first step.

Method 2 of 3: Make a plan

1. Ask outside help. You may think you have to get through this on your own, but there are other people who have stopped lying and can offer you support. It is difficult to get rid of an addiction (any one) on your own. Reach out to the people who can give you good advice and help you hold accountable for achieving your goal.
   • Work with a therapist. Talking to someone who has a background in psychology and has experience helping people who have been through the same things as you can be immensely valuable.
   • Talk to the people you are close to. Certain people in your life will want to help you stop lying, even if they themselves are hurt by your dishonesty. If you feel comfortable doing this, you can tell your parents, siblings, or close friends about your plans to stop lying. They may want to support you.
   • Join a support group. Talking to other people who understand exactly what you are going through is invaluable. Search for a support group online, or maybe even one near you.
2. Map your triggers. To stop lying, you need to map out situations, people, or places that are causing you to avoid the truth. Once you know what is triggering your lie, you can try to avoid that trigger; or you look for a way to confront that trigger with honesty.
   • Do you tend to lie when you feel a certain way? You may be concerned about your results at school or work, and you lie to ease those emotions. Try to find ways to deal with those fears differently.
   • Do you lie to certain people? You may be telling your father untruths to deal with his reaction to your bad grades. You will have to learn to deal with your triggers in a healthy way.
3. If you can't say something true, don't say anything at all. When you're faced with a trigger and tempted to tell a lie, stop yourself from speaking at all. If you simply can't be honest in the moment, it's better to stay quiet or change the subject. You are not required to answer questions you don't want to answer, or reveal information you don't feel like revealing.
   • If someone asks you a question that you don't think you can answer honestly, it's okay to tell them that you'd rather not answer that question.It can make things a little awkward, but it's still better than lying.
   • Avoid situations where you tend to lie. Large group conversations in which everyone brags about their accomplishments, for example, can fuel the need to lie.
   • Pay attention to the physical symptoms that indicate that you are going to lie. You may turn your gaze down and feel your heart beat faster. If you feel this coming on, take a step back from the situation so that you don't lie.
4. Actively practice telling the truth. If you lie more often than not, it may take practice to be able to tell the truth. The important thing is to think before saying anything and determine that you will be telling the truth. Again, if you are asked a question that you cannot answer honestly, do not answer. The more you tell the truth, the easier it will become.
   • Try to practice with strangers or in an online forum. Telling the truth to people you are not in a relationship with can be liberating because it has no consequences.
   • As for people you know, practice being honest by talking about neutral topics. Give your heartfelt opinion, start with some basic information about what to do on the weekend or what you ate for breakfast this morning.
   • If you have trouble talking about yourself, bring up something else. Think of the news, local politics, sports, philosophy, recipes, your favorite show, a band you want to see, the life of the other person, your dog or the weather. The important thing is to practice telling the truth.
5. Learn to face the consequences. At some point, telling the truth will plunge you into situations where you would always lie before. You will have to reveal that you are unemployed, that you did not get the part you auditioned for, that you broke the rules, or that you are not interested in a relationship with someone. Facing the uncomfortable consequences is still better than lying. It makes you stronger and builds a relationship of trust with others.
   • Prepare to deal with other people's reactions. Perhaps the truth will cause someone to make a negative comment or respond to it. Even when this happens, you should be proud of telling the truth. You should know that you have tackled the problems with strength and honesty, and have not chosen the path of least resistance.
   • Work on building trusting relationships with people who may not believe you right away. If you've lied to someone a lot, it may take them a while to believe you're telling the truth. Keep working on it - being honest is the only way to get someone to trust you. If you start lying again, you will be back to square one.

Method 3 of 3: Stay honest

1. Recognize the patterns that cause you to slip. As you get used to the truth, these patterns will become more apparent. It's important to stay aware of what's tempting you to lie so that you don't get that habit again.
   • Learn to nip the patterns in the bud. If you are faced with a life event that scares you and would make you uncomfortable telling the truth, learn to deal with your fear in a different way.
   • Don't be too hard on yourself when you slip. Being honest is hard, and we all make a mistake from time to time. Remember, there is only one way to rectify the problem: don't lie. Stay honest. Don't let the pattern take control of your life.
2. Make honesty a core value of your character. Honesty is a trait that is greatly appreciated around the world. It is a quality that is honed by working hard day after day in difficult situations. Let the truth, not the lie, be your automatic response to life's trials.
   • Recognize that honesty in other people can be helpful if you are trying to live an honest life. Who do you admire? Ask yourself what he / she would do if you are struggling to take the honest approach.
   • Look for honest role models — spiritual leaders, esteemed literati, philosophers, leaders of social movements, and so on. Everyone missteps from time to time, but honorable people straighten themselves up - they try to do the right thing over and over again.
3. Build good relationships. The more you tell the truth, and the more you are accountable to other people's expectations, the more they will trust you. It feels good to be trusted by other people. Trust builds great friendships, intimate relationships, and a sense of belonging. It eradicates loneliness and creates a sense of togetherness. When you stop lying, you are free to be yourself and be accepted by others for who you really are.

Tips

• If you lie a lot about everything, realize that you can't stop overnight. It's like a drug, it's hard to get rid of. Shift it up a notch. Parents will know if you plan to lie. Stop yourself and ask "Is this wrong?" Try to ask yourself very quickly, "Is this a lie?" It will take a while, but you will eventually stop if you put your head to it. Also ask yourself how you would feel if people constantly lied to you.
• Lying often stems from a sense of inadequacy or a need to protect others from the truth. This way you protect yourself against vulnerability. Learn to accept that the truth is everyone's right. Take a deep breath, think about the person you were talking to, and what he / she would say if he / she knew you were lying. Open your mouth and speak the truth. When you have done this you will feel relieved and not guilty.
• If the people you know don't believe you anymore, try to explain to them that you have a problem. Explain that it is difficult to get rid of it. Maybe they can forgive you.
• Be honest about your primary feelings. “Sam, I'm so ashamed of what I've done. I told Kim you liked her, even though you told me not to pass it on. Can you forgive me? ”