Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Changing your attitude
• Part 2 of 2: Interpersonal strategies
• Tips

You will find difficult people everywhere. Maybe you are one of them yourself? Or maybe everyone is having difficulty at some point in their life. Either way, at some point you will have to be able to work or find a middle ground with someone you think is difficult to deal with. Here are some strategies for dealing with difficult people and hopefully avoiding conflict!

To step

Part 1 of 2: Changing your attitude

1. Realize that there are always people in this world who stand in your way.
   • The ancient Stoics were very clear about dealing with difficult situations, including people. Their focus was to focus only on what you CAN change: your response to other people.
   • Modern psychologists, especially in the field of cognitive behavioral therapy, more or less take this as their starting point and point out the negative thoughts of the person as the root of most negative emotions.
   • So when you are faced with a difficult person, remember that you cannot change the person in question, but you can change your reaction and your own perception.
2. Look at your own behavior. If you feel that you are constantly being attacked or harassed, you may be unwillingly attracting the wrong people with your own attitude.
   • Explore any "drama" in your own past life. What was your role in those situations? Try to look at it from the other person's perspective.
   • Self-knowledge - being aware of your own limitations and strengths - can make dealing with difficult people a little easier.
3. Try to be aware of the way you experience others. If you are sensitive to the myriad of ways people can behave and respond to you, the way you think about interacting with these people may be as diverse as the different personalities you encounter.
   • Interpersonal intelligence is a person's ability to recognize the moods, feelings and motivations of others. High interpersonal intelligence means that someone knows how to deal successfully with other people, each with their own temperament.
   • If you fall short of this, you can improve it by paying more attention to the way people respond to each other. Notice and try to emulate how people who seem to get along with everyone interact with the different personalities they encounter.

Part 2 of 2: Interpersonal strategies

1. Choose your battleground wisely. Ideally, you and the difficult person should be able to put the disagreement aside and come to some sort of compromise. But unfortunately this is not always possible.
   • Take a step back and look at the situation from afar. Is it worth the further stress to start a conversation with this person? Maybe someone else can handle the situation better.
2. Take a break to breathe. When we are personally attacked, a "fight or flight response" may emerge. We no longer have to deal with nasty saber-toothed tigers like our ancestors, yet in no time your bloodstream will be full of adrenaline, and this feeling can be very intense.
   • Sometimes it can help to take a moment to think and keep things from getting out of hand. If a person becomes very confrontational, choose your words wisely.
   • View the situation from the other person's perspective. If you can muster the empathy to put yourself in the shoes of the other, then the focus on the interaction shifts from you to the other. Understand their frustration as much as you can and who knows, you might end up with an ally.
3. Stick to being polite and conciliatory when you can. Remember the following old saying, "You catch more flies with syrup than vinegar"? A good lick of syrup can go a long way in melting down a potential confrontation.
   • If you remain nice and unperturbed, it is difficult for the other to keep up the fighting spirit. Staying calm often has a calming effect on others.
   • Don't overdo it with the syrup. If you try too hard, it is clear that you are masking your own feelings.
4. Talk to like-minded people about this problem. If you keep having issues with a person over and over again, you may not be alone.
   • Sometimes the troublesome person is just not well understood. Perhaps you know someone who is closer to the other and who can give you more insight into how to interact with the person?
   • Forming allies makes another confrontation easier. If the person is really difficult to work with, it can help to be able to support your claims by a larger group of people.
   • Don't degrade yourself by gossiping about the other person. Be careful about raising your concerns with other people. Hearing this will only make the situation worse.
5. If necessary, confront the person at an undisturbed moment. If things deteriorate, it may be necessary to have a frank conversation with the other person.
   • Make sure you focus on what you are feeling, not what the other person is doing wrong. Doing this will keep the conversation from turning into a lengthy accusation.
   • If you are a humorist, use this to your advantage. Humor can help lighten the tone of a conversation.
6. Talk to your supervisors. If nothing has worked, talk to your supervisor, team leader or other supervisor.
   • If you have spoken to others who have experienced the same difficulties interacting with a particular person, it may be wise to approach a supervisor as a group to discuss the complaint.
   • If the difficult person is your supervisor, do not hesitate to approach their supervisor to discuss the problem.

Tips

• Don't swear. This only makes the other person more angry and worse, it seems that you have lost control over yourself.