Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: Experience your feelings
• Part 2 of 4: Process your feelings without help
• Part 3 of 4: Process your feelings with someone you trust
• Part 4 of 4: Dealing with the source of the feelings
• Tips

Feelings are cognitive responses that give meaning to your emotions. Feelings can sometimes be too intense, leading people to try to cope with them with strategies such as spending hours watching TV, shopping, or gambling. If not controlled, these strategies can lead to further unwanted outcomes such as debt, addiction and ill health. This in turn can lead to more intense feelings, creating a vicious circle. This article will show you some practical steps you can take to deal with your feelings.

To step

Part 1 of 4: Experience your feelings

1. Feelings are a confirmation of our inner world. They are the result of how we think about the world around us. Positive feelings are those feelings that "feel right" and negative feelings that "feel wrong". They are neither "right" or "wrong". Both negative and positive feelings are a regular part of the human experience. Allowing yourself to feel them puts you in a better position to change a situation related to your feelings.
   • Feelings help us determine what we need. For example, the feeling of fear began as a way of alerting us to danger threatening our survival. To our early ancestors, fear could literally have meant the difference between life and death. Realizing that feelings are useful, even if we don't really enjoy them, can help control them.
2. Take a deep breath. Breathing exercises help you to calm down, manage emotions, gain control and feel more in touch with your body. You can only process emotions if you are relatively calm. Try the following breathing exercise. Place your hand on your stomach and breathe through your nose, counting to five. Feel your belly rise as you inhale. Exhale through your mouth as you count to five. Feel your belly pull in as you exhale.
3. Be aware of the feeling. Where do you feel it in your body? How intense is it? How is your breathing? What is your attitude? How does your face feel? Is it getting stronger or weaker? Pay attention to the different parts of your body that the emotion seems to be affecting. Watch your heart rate, stomach, temperature, limbs, muscles, and skin sensations.
4. Name the emotion. Which word best describes the emotion? Anger? Debt? Fear? Sadness? Fear? For example, anxiety feels hot, pulses through your body, and increases your heart rate, just to name a few things. Anxiety can make you short of breath, increase your heart rate and cause your palms and feet to sweat, and it can make your chest feel tight.
   • You may feel more than one emotion at the same time. Try to be aware of all the feelings you are experiencing.
5. Accept the feeling. Let it pass through you without judgment, resistance, or resistance. Just let it be - it's a natural response of the body. If you find yourself having a thought or judgment about the feeling, realize it and then return your attention to the physical sensations in your body.
   • Sometimes this is enough to help you deal with your feelings. It takes a lot of mental effort to ignore, avoid or suppress a feeling. In fact, ignoring it can make the feeling stronger and last longer. The acceptance and not being afraid of your feelings frees your mind so that you can deal with the situation as it arises and the feelings the situation is causing.

Part 2 of 4: Process your feelings without help

1. Write about what you are feeling for about 15 minutes. Write about the situation that caused the feelings. What happened? Who said what? Why is this important to you? Recognize and name the feelings. Don't correct or censor them, or worry about spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. Be honest with yourself. Write it all down.
   • The more honest you are, the more likely you are to be able to lessen the intensity of your feelings.
   • This creates a distance from your thoughts and allows you to look at the situation in a more objective way.
2. Pay attention negative thoughts and patterns. Often times, a negative way of thinking becomes a habit and we take our thoughts as true. Try to find out how much of what you have written down is based on facts and how much of it reflects your opinion. That the way you think determines your feelings is a core idea of ​​cognitive behavioral therapy. This exercise will help you deal with your thoughts so that you can deal with your feelings.
   • It is easier to spot errors in your train of thought when those thoughts are written down so that you can read and look at them.
3. Write a response as you would write it to a good friend. We often judge and criticize ourselves in a way that we would never judge anyone. Be kind and think about logical arguments and responses to what you have written. Present the facts and give reassuring advice.
   • If you find it difficult to write, consider recording your thoughts with a voice recorder app (record up to 10 minutes at a time). Listen to the recording when you are done with it. As you listen, look for ways of thinking that are not helpful. Repeat this process up to three times.
4. Read your response. When you have finished writing, review what you have written. Put it away and read it again after a night's sleep or after 24 hours. In the meantime, you can do a relaxing activity or engage in a hobby that you enjoy. Time will help you distance yourself from the emotion and provide a fresh perspective.
   • It is best to keep what you write somewhere where no one else can find it. Knowing that your thoughts remain private helps you to be more honest with yourself.

Part 3 of 4: Process your feelings with someone you trust

1. Find someone you trust and love to talk to. Tell the person that you would like to discuss something confidential with them. It's easier to talk about your problems with someone you love. Ask them if it is a good time to talk. Someone who is preoccupied or tense may not be in the right position to help you at the time. If possible, choose a person you trust and know has gone through the same way as you. That person will be able to better understand what condition you are in, and their empathy can be comforting.
2. Tell the person about your feelings. Tell your counselor what happened; what gave you these feelings. Tell him or her why this is important to you. Try to put into words everything you think about and what you would like to say. Simply telling what you feel has a calming effect and is also beneficial for physical health.
3. Ask your counselor what his opinion is on the subject. The other person can respond to your story by sharing their own personal experiences with you, showing you that what happened to you can happen to anyone. They may give you a new perspective that you had not thought of before.

Part 4 of 4: Dealing with the source of the feelings

1. Dealing with negative thoughts. Find out what level of feeling you have.Now that you have processed your own feelings and viewed the situation from all perspectives: Is there another way you can interpret the events? How have your feelings changed since the beginning of processing? Feelings change when our thoughts change.
2. Think about the actions you can take to change the situation. By yourself or with someone you trust, make a list of all possible things you can do to change your current situation. Think about the consequences, the effort you will have to make, and whether or not you will have to enlist the help of someone else. What you will do will depend on those involved and your relationship with those individuals (family, partner, friend, acquaintance, coworker, boss), so consider what is appropriate for your situation.
3. Take action. Do what you can to change your situation. If you are responsible for it in some way, be honest about it and take responsibility for your actions. Sincerely apologize for any mistakes you may have made and try to make amends. Knowing that you have done your best is an important part of seeking to shut down certain feelings.
4. Close this chapter of your life. If, for whatever reason, your attempts to resolve this situation are unsuccessful or if it is not possible for you to come to terms with the people involved in the event (for example, because they died or because have broken with you), then you will have to love yourself enough to move on. Know that you have done everything you can and that you have learned from this situation. Do not forget the lessons you have learned.
5. Talk to a therapist. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out where feelings are coming from. A therapist can help you discover the cause of your feelings and learn ways to deal with them effectively.
   • You can use this therapeutic search tool to help you find a licensed professional in your area. You can also always ask your doctor for a referral letter.
   • It is a common misunderstanding that your problems must be huge or out of control to see a therapist. In fact, a therapist can help you learn to recognize ways of thinking and behavior that are not useful in everyday life and learn better ways to live an emotionally stable and fulfilling life.

Tips

• If you've been caught in a downward spiral of addiction or debt, consider getting the help of an expert. A therapist can help you deal with your feelings while being confidential and objective, something a loved one may not be able to do.
• Keeping a journal can help you deal with your feelings better and regularly.