Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 1: Stop being shy
• Tips
• Warnings

Are you a shy person? Does the thought of having a conversation turn your stomach? That is not bad at all, everyone is a bit shy. This article will help you overcome most (if not all) shyness.

To step

Method 1 of 1: Stop being shy

1. Determine how shy you are. Are you so shy that you are afraid to talk to anyone? Or are you only shy around people you don't know very well? It may be beneficial to ask your friends (the one you feel most comfortable with) for their opinion.
2. Consider: What do you want to change? Why? Does your lack of social skills make you despair? Do you have trouble with superficial conversations, with expressing your feelings, with awkward silences, or with other practical problems? You may seem "normal" or "social" enough, but you'd prefer it if you didn't feel uncomfortable or insecure all the time. Also ask yourself how much you really want to change - not everyone is outgoing, or can be outgoing. Don't waste your time and effort comparing yourself to others. Don't tell yourself you should be like them. This is only negative reinforcement; it will only make you feel more different, lonely, and - in the worst case - inferior. The fact is that everyone falls * somewhere * in the personality spectrum: one is somewhat more shy / introverted, and the other is somewhat more extroverted.
3. Show yourself. It sounds logical, but the best thing you can do is mingle with people! Go to the school party, or go to the company Christmas party. At least try to meet someone new. Go to open stages and recite some of the poems from your school days. Show yourself.
4. Be approachable. Would you like to approach someone with a sour look on the face, or someone with their head on the desk? Probably not. Looking at your shoes will get you nowhere - besides, there is always the chance that people will think you are conceited. Try to smile confidently and look people in the eye.
5. Practice talking. It may sound a bit strange, but go and stand in front of the mirror; pretend you're talking to someone. Do not hesitate to speak out loud. Don't be afraid of people seeing you.
6. Take "baby steps". Don't rush things - setting too high expectations will just make you more shy and nervous. If you tell yourself over and over that you are a failure, then you will indeed become a failure. This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to progress by setting your ultimate goal in small, bite-sized chunks. This allows you to learn something new every time, and also to properly chart your progress. Keep trying things, having conversations, and trying to do things that are scary or difficult. Don't try to speed up your progress by doing something too scary or difficult - it depends on your own level of shyness. If you've gotten used to something, you can take the next step.
7. Focus your attention outwardly, not on yourself. This is one of the most important aspects of shyness and social anxiety. Most introverts don't do this on purpose. However, it often happens that you inadvertently draw attention to yourself. This makes you self-aware, and you keep the vicious circle going. Research has shown that this can play a key role in the formation of panic attacks after anxious moments. Don't let yourself be shy or make a point if someone has said something embarrassing. Don't take flaws too heavily, and most people will be able to empathize - feeling connected to other people is easier than you might think! Always show an interest in other people and / or the environment. You may sometimes feel like everyone is looking at you, but they generally don't; you are not necessarily judged. A distorted perception is the culprit here. Other people are busy enough with their own business. They're not out to get you.
8. Ask your friends to introduce you to other people. Meeting people is a great way to overcome shyness. It may sound a bit confused, but it isn't.
9. Demonstrate your talents. If you like art, for example, you can paint sets for a play. On the other hand, don't be afraid to discover new things.
10. Be sincere. Give compliments. You don't have to overdo this. Some of the greatest conversations of all time could have started with a simple "What a nice shirt you are wearing".
11. Practice. Practice makes perfect, doesn't it?
12. Change your shy appearance. Take time to look at yourself. Are you the type who always wears a hood, dark clothes, or dark makeup? Besides the fact that this can make people feel a bit cautious, it can also make you look unapproachable.
    • Wear some more cheerful clothes. Nice your wardrobe. Trade your black, red, and blue for green, yellow, and orange. Pastels always do well too.
    • Put on nicer make-up. You will be amazed at how much this can be done. People will want to talk to you faster.
    • Remember you don't always have to change your look. You can also make your appearance appear more friendly. Let people know it's okay to talk to you.

Tips

• It may take some time for these steps to take effect. In that case, simply think back to the time when you would like to have said something but didn't. You don't want this again, do you?
• Try to take one step per week (or per day). For example, if you find it difficult to keep a conversation going, try holding on to each subsequent conversation a little longer.
• The support of your friends is very important. Let them introduce you to other people. It is very nice that you can always count on their support when things are not going well.
• Talk to random people, people you don't know. Be nice, and you will soon build a good reputation.
• Remember this article if things don't go well for a while.
• Talk to people. You will regret it if you don't.
• Say it! It doesn't matter if it will make you look stupid, weird, or boring. If you find it, say it!
• Exercise. This is a great way to meet new people. Leave your shy hell and show your athletic talent.
• Some people find it difficult to go somewhere alone. Try going to the movies alone. How can you be shy in the dark? Plus, it shows other people that you are confident enough to go somewhere alone. Fake it until you make it.
• Join clubs to meet new people and ask them how you can gain confidence.

Warnings

• Overcoming your shyness is a big challenge. Don't expect to be completely changed overnight. It doesn't work like that. Be patient. Rome wasn't built in a day either.
• Don't do anything too drastic in your effort to overcome your shyness. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
• Be yourself. Don't let anyone get you down.