Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Expressing your grief
• Part 2 of 3: Dealing with your grief
• Part 3 of 3: Overcoming grief
• Tips

Most people view sadness as a problem or a negative emotion. People will often try to ignore or hide their sadness, but feeling sad is a normal emotional response to difficult events in your life. Even though it is a natural feeling, you will have to learn to let your grief run wild. This helps you to process what you are experiencing and to be able to move on emotionally with your life.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Expressing your grief

1. Allow yourself to cry. Let the sadness, anger and misery within you come out. Some people find they benefit from crying. This is because crying is a physical outlet that allows you to process emotions. It can also help you relax. Research suggests that tears rid your body of stress hormones. When you are done crying, lie on your back on the bed and think about what happened.
   • If the reflection upsets you, feel free to let yourself cry again. No one can see you, so don't worry about it. Just let your emotions run wild.
2. Write about your feelings in a journal. Go to a quiet place where you can be alone with your thoughts for a moment. Describe your feelings, what happened and how upset you are about it, in as much detail as possible. Make sure to also write down how you feel physically. This can help you understand your underlying feelings of sadness. You can also write a letter addressed to your pain if you find it difficult to just write about your feelings.
   • If you've expressed your feelings but still feel sad, there is a good reason for it. You may need to process an inner conflict or a conflict related to a situation. Keeping a journal can help you clarify your thoughts and feelings.
3. Dance to or listen to sad music. Recent research suggests that dancing can reduce your psychological problems such as sadness, fatigue, anxiety and associated physical complaints. Dance can be done formally, such as in a studio, or simply by moving to music at home. Research also shows that listening to sad music can help when you feel sad. Sad music provides a connection with the sad feelings, giving you an outlet to process them.
   • If you are not ready to deal with your sadness, music can be a distraction until you are ready to confront your sadness.
4. Create art. Doing something artistic is a way to get creative and express your sadness with colors, shapes and sometimes in structures. Art helps you express your grief without words. Try:
   • Guided Imagination: Start visualizing your feelings. Close your eyes and imagine what the colors, shapes, etc., look like. Open your eyes and draw the picture on paper. It doesn't matter what it looks like. Just let go of the feeling no matter how it lands on the paper.
   • Mandala: This is an intricate circle that you can color or paint in search of emotional release. Search online for a mandala that you can print. Some people prefer such a structured art project that appeals to the subconscious.

Part 2 of 3: Dealing with your grief

1. Recognize negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are often unrealistic thoughts about a situation, about yourself, or about future events. These can push away your positive thinking and change the image you have of yourself. If you don't catch these negative thoughts, you won't be able to use healthy coping skills. Having a negative image of yourself can lead to depression.
   • Maybe you are sad because someone just broke up with you. After a breakup, most people have negative thoughts, such as, "I wasn't a good partner," or "I'll always be alone."
   • If you start to believe these kinds of negative thoughts, you will start to act accordingly. For example, you may feel like you will always be alone, which will make you stop dating.
2. Identify the causes of your negative thoughts. Think about the concerns underlying your negative thoughts. For example, if you have taken the idea that you will always be alone, your underlying concerns may be related to a lack of self-confidence when you meet new people. While becoming aware of your feelings may not be pleasant, it is important to understand what is causing your negative thoughts.
   • You can start to keep track of your thoughts by writing down an event that you wish would have turned out differently, or that you could have handled in a better way. Track any feelings about sadness or events related to that feeling.
   • For example, your first thought might be, "I'm a loser because nobody wants to go out with me." The underlying cause of this thought may be that you are sad about the breakup and you feel alone because you planned to go out.
3. Challenge your negative thoughts and let them go. Just ask yourself if the thought is true. This will make you realize that most thoughts are not true, just reactions. You can also ask yourself the following questions to challenge and release your negative thoughts:
   • Why do you think the thought is true? What facts support this thought? "I don't even know how to ask someone out. I've forgotten."
   • What is your reaction to the negative thoughts (actions, feelings and other emotions)? "I'm afraid to ask someone out."
   • How would your actions and your behavior change if you didn't have that thought? "Don't be so scared. I can try asking someone out when I'm ready."
4. Respect your feelings. You can be sad, so don't bottle up your feelings. Accepting your emotions is the first step to expressing your grief. There is a reason you are sad, and it is important to admit the sadness and pain. That way you can start your journey to let it go. If you have trouble respecting your own feelings, write or say the following out loud:
   • “I am sad when ………………………. And that's okay. ”
   • “I can be sad about …….”
5. Don't let anyone downplay your feelings. Often family and friends try to comfort you by saying that the grief will pass, or that there is a good reason for the situation. Even though they have the best of intentions, this can seem like your legitimate feelings of sadness don't matter. Tell them you know they mean well, but that you are sad and need time to be sad.
   • If someone just broke up with you and a friend tells you that you now have a lot of free time, you can indicate that you need time to process your emotions.

Part 3 of 3: Overcoming grief

1. Practice talking positively to yourself or affirmations. Remind yourself of your achievements and the things you like about yourself. Or use words to remind yourself of positive statements that mean something to you, such as quotes. You can write this down as a list and keep it with you for those times when you are sad. Research has shown that you can nurture and protect positive thoughts by carrying a physical memory of those thoughts.
   • You can carry positive statements or affirmations with you by writing them on cards that you keep in your wallet, by storing them in your phone, or turning them into a screen saver for your mobile.
2. Make time to talk to other people. Surround yourself with friends or family who can understand your feelings. Explain what you are feeling and see if that helps. Chances are they will try to cheer you up a bit. It's also okay to say that you are sad and need time to be sad.
   • Talk to someone you trust who is older and wiser. They may have more life experience to draw from, which can help process your grief.
3. Distract yourself by doing positive things. It's easy to focus on the negative and forget the positive emotions, such as happiness, relaxation, excitement, joy, or encouragement. Take a moment to jot down happy or relaxing memories. This reminder can give you a positive feeling again. You can also distract yourself from negative emotions by doing something fun or positive. You can:
   • Dye your hair
   • Make a cup of tea
   • Count to 500 or 1000
   • Do a puzzle or a brain teaser
   • Watch people
   • Play a musical instrument
   • Watching TV or a movie
   • Painting your nails
   • Organize something, such as books, your closet, etc.
   • Origami, to keep your hands busy
   • Being active. Play sports, go for a walk, or exercise
4. Know when to need professional help. If your sadness lasts for more than a month, you may be depressed and need professional support or counseling. Symptoms of depression are much more serious than feeling sad, and include a complete loss of interest in activities that you have always enjoyed, can make you irritable and agitated, reduce sex drive, and difficulty concentrating. changes in your sleep patterns, causing a constant feeling of fatigue. If you find yourself seriously considering suicide, seek help immediately. Go to the hospital emergency department, or call 911, or the suicide prevention line 0900-0113. Indications that you are suicidal include:
   • Threatening or talking about suicide, including looking up suicide plans online
   • Statements with which you imply that you no longer find anything important, or that you will not be around for long
   • Make statements about being a burden to others
   • Feeling trapped
   • Feeling psychological pain that you cannot control
   • Giving away your belongings, making a will, or arranging a funeral
   • Purchasing a firearm or other weapon
   • Sudden, unexplained cheerfulness or calm after a period of depression

Tips

• Call someone who can advise you. If there is no one around you that you can count on, there are telephone numbers of emergency services that you can call.
• If you are experiencing issues pertaining to something personal, go to a place where you can be alone for a while and hold on tight to a stuffed animal.
• The most important thing is to love yourself the way you are.