Content

• Steps

Immersing yourself in the past or focusing too much on the future will make you forget about your present life. And your life will pass quickly without any enjoyment. If you find yourself focusing too much on past events or trauma or worrying about the future, there are a few strategies you can take to help you learn to live the moment.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Forget the past and worry about the future

1. 

   Express your feelings about the past. No matter what event you are focusing on in the past, you should express your feelings in connection with it, good or bad, before you can move on. Maybe some past experiences will be painful, but you will also have good memories. Expressing repressed emotions, good or bad, will help you forget about the past and focus on the present.
   • Talk about your feelings with a friend, relative, or counselor.
   • Try to write about how you feel about the past. You can journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you (but remember not to send it!).
   • Even if you are immersed in a good memory, this action will disconnect you from the present. You may find yourself romanticizing the past or yearning for things to return to the way they were, instead of focusing on ways to improve your life in the short term.

2. 

   
   
   Forgive and forget. Constantly blaming the responsible person for your past pain destroys your present. Instead of thinking about the person who hurt you, forgive them. Focus on the current event and let go of any blame or pain you feel. If someone in the past has hurt you, you should choose to forgive and let go. Depression with pain will not harm the person who hurt you, it will only immerse you in the past.
   • If necessary, write a letter or talk to the person about their actions in the past. You don't have to send that letter, but it will help you stop blaming the person and return to the present and to your joy.

3. 

   
   
   Pay attention to the things that bring happiness. If it doesn't work to express your feelings about the past, focus on the things that make you happy. You cannot change the past or worry about the future, so do not pay attention to it. Think about something happy going on.
   • If this is too difficult, you should set your own standards. For example, you could create a happy place that you think relates to your current life, such as a favorite reading place in the backyard. If you find yourself thinking too much about the past or worrying about the future, imagine about the good times you spent there, or even visualize yourself at the time. there.

4. 

   
   
   Preventing memories. If all your efforts are ineffective, you should try blocking or repelling memory. Over time, this method will help you get past bad memories. At the same time, it will make them less annoying. Imagine you are pushing the memory behind a door and locking the door. Giving yourself a mental image can help, especially if your memories or worries are quite strong.
   • Studies have shown that blocking is a learnable and workable skill to help you get rid of your memories or think about the past. The more you do it, the more proficient you will become. Whenever unpleasant memories arise, consciously push them back into your mind.You need to train yourself to forget the event and work hard to overcome it.

5. 

   Overcome worrying about the future. Whenever you're worried about the future, remind yourself that you can only change the present and focus on it. Make a list of all the things you can focus on instead of the ones that originate in the present. Think about a book you're halfway through, what it would feel like to be in Hawaii at this time of year or any other situation that might help stop you from thinking about the future. You should focus on what can happen rather than what you cannot change.
   • If you're having trouble, find items that remind you of everything you love right now and be able to focus on it. Take the book you are reading with you. Print a picture of a place you like and look at it when you need to get back to the present.
   • Thinking of ideas and situations that don't cause anxiety about the future takes practice. Just persevere in trying, you will eventually succeed.

6. 

   Get help. If none of the above methods are working, you should seek help to move through the past, worry less about the future, and focus on the present. Find a mental health professional in your area. You can meet a variety of specialists, such as counselors, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists. They have been trained in patient coping skills to help them become more effective or productive in everyday life, by directing their attention to the present.
   • You don't have to be ashamed to ask for help. Your mental health is very important, and it's not uncommon to seek help. This is perfectly normal and an expert will be on hand to help.
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Method 2 of 3: Coping with past trauma

1. 

   Understand the difference between trauma and painful memories. The trauma can affect your physiology, like the feeling of extreme anxiety and fear in the present moment - as if the trauma is never over. Sad memories form painful emotions like sadness and guilt, and they don't change your perception like acute trauma.
   • The trauma requires its own treatment and will often require professional help.
   • Sometimes symptoms only appear after a few years. Traumatic events will cause nightmares, disturbed thoughts, depression, phobias, anxiety, or flashbacks.
   • The trauma treatment process is slow, and it can be difficult to stop thinking about it for a while. You just have to believe that if you put in effort, everything will get better.

2. 

   Seek help from a support group or mental health professional. You should find a counselor or an exclusive program for people with trauma. You are responsible for your own recovery, as well as how and when it happened. Regardless of which treatment you decide to take, it needs to provide you with the following essentials:
   • Strength: Recovery is your chance to regain control. Although guidance is important, you need to take responsibility for your resilience. If the counselor recommends doing something that you are not interested or willing to do, you don't need to do it.
   • Validation: Perhaps, your experience has been overlooked or ignored for many years. A support group or counselor can confirm what happened to you and how the trauma shaped your life.
   • Connection: The traumatic experience will be quite lonely. Talking to others and sharing your story with someone who understands will help you begin to feel connected.

3. 

   Share with people you trust. Talking about what happened to you is an important part of healing. You should choose someone who is patient, kind, and someone who takes what has happened to you seriously. Ordinary people respond with "You just need to stop thinking about it", "Forgive and let go", or "That doesn't suck", will Not is the right person to chat with.
   • You may need to talk about your trauma over and over again - make sure the person you are talking to understands the importance of the process. Getting rid of the burden once is fine, but you need to keep looking back and sharing about it.
   • If you are not close to or trust anyone, you should contact the person you love in life. Do something fun with them, or if possible, invite them to do something with you in the future. Spending time with them will help you form a closer relationship.
   • Remember that when you talk about trauma with others, you will indirectly traumatize them, and they will experience symptoms of trauma from listening to your story. Don't get upset if the person can't listen to your story every day. Family and friends are a great place to start, but if you need more support, your trauma counselor has been trained to avoid this.

4. 

   Make a list of ways you can take care of yourself. It can be hard to think about ways to comfort yourself in difficult times. Make a list of all the things that make you feel better and put it in an easy-to-reference spot. Some things you can take include:
   • Do creative work, such as painting, making furniture, embroidering, or other handcrafted products.
   • Do exercise. You don't need intense exercise - you just need to walk around the neighborhood. Or run, swim, play sports, dance, go hiking, any activity that keeps your body moving.
   • Play with children in the house or with pets. This will have a soothing effect, and may make you feel better.
   • Sing or sing as loud as possible. You can fill your lungs with fresh air and sing out your favorite tunes.
   • Wearing clothes makes you feel better. Wear a shirt or use some jewelry that you love.
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Method 3 of 3: Pay attention to the present

1. 

   Be aware of your surroundings. Stop rushing in your life and don't allow yourself to indulge in the past. Instead, pay attention to your surroundings, whether it's the wonder of nature or the creation of man. Make an effort to be attentive to every aspect of your present life.
   • For example, you can go for a walk and look around. If you are outdoors, observe the trees, the ground, and the scenery. Feel the air on the skin. If you're at home, pay attention to the color of the walls, the sounds you hear in the area, or feel the floor under your feet. This will help you focus on the present and focus on your surroundings.

2. 

   Slow down. People are often in a hurry to move from one moment to another. Slow down and enjoy everything you do, even if it's boring. For example, pay attention to your actions when you snack. Take a bunch of grapes and consciously observe them. Be aware of their shapes and sizes. Eat them one at a time and pay attention to the taste. Enjoy the sweetness that spreads around your tongue and the nourishment it gives you.
   • You don't have to be excited about everything that happens to you every day. If you're working on a project at a company that you don't like or don't want to have to perform at a job you don't want to do, that's okay. Instead of rushing over it, think about your daily routine and experience it.

3. 

   Change daily habits. Getting stuck in a habit is one that can lead you to indulge in the past without realizing it. Perhaps you have to do the same things every day or at the same time each week. While the habit can be comforting, it will make you feel stuck and forget the present.Instead, you should change your habits. You can walk to the bus stop or take another route to work.
   • Even small changes will help you break from old habits. Change what foods you eat. Incorporate words you have learned into your vocabulary. Anything that makes you aware of your daily activities will help you live in the present rather than in the past or future.
   • If you don't want or can't change your habit, you should pay more attention to your actions throughout the routine. Pay attention to the taste of the oats you eat each morning or the shape of the plants on your way to work.

4. 

   Pay attention to moments of peace. Almost every day, you will have a moment when you have to wait for something. It could be waiting in line to check in at the supermarket or waiting for a red light while driving. During these times, you should try to resist the habit of checking your phone, and instead, pay attention to your surroundings. You should be mindful of your surroundings rather than wasting time complaining that you wish there weren't many people in line or that traffic lights changed signals.
   • This is a great moment when you can notice the small, simple things in life. Avoid using your phone to kill time. Instead, watch people queuing up or traffic around you. You can smile at the other person or talk to the person in line behind you.
   • Do not stop trying many things until you find the best way to live in the present.

5. 

   Leave a reminder for yourself. In order to be able to live in the present, especially in the beginning, you will need reminders. Tie a string around your wrist, paint a nail in bright pink, or wear it upside down. Use them to remind yourself.
   • Every time you see a reminder, take a few seconds to notice sounds, scents, and any signs around you. Be aware of your feelings and actions. This will help you keep your attention on the present situation and not dwell on the past or future.

6. 

   Focus on tasks one at a time. Instead of doing the job unconsciously, you should take the time to do the job well. Allow yourself to become passionate about doing school assignments, job projects, or everyday chores. Let yourself be so engrossed in work that all thoughts about the past and the future vanish.
   • It's easier if you don't do many things at the same time. When you work on multiple tasks at the same time, you won't keep up with what you're doing and start thinking about other factors, like completing a task or moving on to something else.
   • Try to slow down. This will help you focus attention on your own actions in the present moment.

7. 

   Meditate. One of the best ways to focus on the present moment is meditation. The purpose of meditation is to help you remove all other factors, including fear about the past and the future, and focus on the moment you are meditating.
   • Start by taking a deep breath, paying attention to what you are doing. Clear your mind and focus on the sounds you breathe. Gradually, everything will disappear.
   • It takes time and practice for you to fully meditate. Don't give up if you don't experience "relaxed" immediately, or even after a few months. Practice, and you will begin to reap the (great) benefits of meditation.
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