Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Earning their trust
• Part 2 of 3: Convince your parents
• Part 3 of 3: Be responsible during the sleepover
• Tips
• Warnings

Staying with a friend can be a lot of fun. You can hang out without worrying about being picked up, and you can take some distance from your own home life at the same time. However, your parents will not always allow you to spend the whole night somewhere. This can lead to problems, especially if they don't give you permission more often. By proving that you can be trusted and keep promises, you may be able to convince your parents to change their mind and let you stay with a friend.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Earning their trust

1. Be as responsible as possible. Responsibility means doing the things that need to be done. It also means being honest and trustworthy. All of this weighs in on what parents will say if you want to stay overnight. If you want to be treated as an adult, then be an adult.
   • However, don't expect this to be done overnight. Just because you're an adult all day long doesn't mean your parents let you go out.
2. Plan your sleepovers wisely. Whether or not you have the confidence of your parents, consent often depends on the night for which you plan the sleepover. If you want to stay somewhere on a weekday, it is unlikely that parents will give you permission to do so. You will receive permission earlier during the summer holidays. If you want to increase the likelihood of consent, you can schedule it for a night when you have nothing the next day.
   • Sleepovers are generally more difficult to get consent when they are mixed. Fathers and mothers may feel uncomfortable when boys and girls sleep together, and may impose stricter rules depending on their standards and values.
   • The size of the sleepover is also important. Some parents will be more comfortable with a smaller sleepover than with larger ones.
3. Talk openly about it with your parents. Gaining your parent's trust is not something that just happened. It can also be difficult and slow to rebuild if broken. To build trust between parent and child, you need to talk to them every day. Let them know what's going on in your life. It is good for your relationship with them to make this a normal habit. This will be much more helpful in your chance of going out.
   • Trust works in both directions. If you want your parents to trust you, then you have to give them a chance and trust them too.
   • A good way to show your parents that you trust them is to listen to their advice.
4. Continue with your homework and chores. In an adult's world, play is balanced with work. In your case, keeping track of your homework and household chores will prove that you deserve to go out and let things go. If there is something that needs to be done before you ask them, do it first. Don't let an unfinished chore be used against you if you ask to go somewhere else to sleep.

Part 2 of 3: Convince your parents

1. Make sure they are in a good mood first. As unfair as it may seem, part of what depends on whether your parents consent is the mood that reigns when you ask. If they are already upset about something before you get closer, it is almost certain that they will say no. This is because they cannot take the extra stress as well.
   • One thing you could do is see what you can do to help your parents before you ask. That way they will be in a better mood and you have proven that you deserve it in their eyes.
2. Ask the question correctly. Asking your parents something can be stressful, depending on the type of relationship you have with them, but it should be done calmly. Above all, you have to say it in a way so that it doesn't come across as negative. If you enter into the conversation with a pessimistic attitude, the more likely your parents will reject the idea.
   • It may be good to provide a few details before asking the question. This can help avoid an immediate "no". Say something like this: "My girlfriend's birthday is tomorrow and then throws a pizza slumber party. Would you mind if I go there too? "
   • Sitting next to them while you ask can be a useful trick as it is less likely to make them feel pressured to decide.
   • If possible, it is a good idea to ask the question a few days in advance. Parents are usually more likely to respond positively to a forward request than to something pushed through just in advance.
3. Give them complete information. If your parents are nervous about letting you go, knowing all about the evening will reassure them. It is a great help to give them an overview of the plans and things they might want to know. If you are honest and forthright about it, you have the best chance of getting their consent. Here are some things to tell them:
   • Where you will spend the night.
   • Whether the intention is to go out that night.
   • What kind of parental controls there will be. This is an important one.
   • Whether someone else will be home. That includes your friend's siblings or other family members.
   • What your friend's family situation is like.
4. Tell them the sleepovers are healthy. Even if you go to a sleepover for fun, there are many added benefits to staying out for the night. Letting your parents know about the benefits will make it easier for them to think it's a good thing for your parenting. Bring out some of these benefits, if they're having a hard time with it:
   • Children at slumber parties learn new social skills. They have to deal flexibly with a new environment.
   • You get a fresh perspective on another family during a sleepover. Don't try to make this sound like you want to escape your own family!
   • When the children are away for a while, parents get a chance to relax a bit.
   • Occasional sleepovers can be a pleasant treat.
5. Ask about their main cause for concern. If you are struggling to convince them, it can be helpful to turn the conversation with your parents into a search for a solution. Ask about the main problem they are concerned about and what can be done to fix it. Instead of getting angry, stay focused on finding a solution.
   • Questions you ask about this should be clear and calm. Say something like, "I understand you might be worried about going out tonight. What is bothering you in particular? Maybe we can find a way to fix it. "
6. Leave contact details. Contact details are important, both for the child and for the parents. Your parents always want to be able to get in touch. Even if they never call the number, they will be comfortable having a number to call if they don't hear from you. This must be the home phone of the house where you are staying, or the mobile number of your girlfriend's parents.
   • Do not give false numbers. Even if you don't get caught this time, cheating on your parents will ruin their trust in you and your chances for future sleepovers.
7. Suggest the sleepover take place at your place. Parents can feel helpless if their child sleeps elsewhere. If you organize the sleepover at your home, you can get the chance to make it work. That way, you'll have time with a friend, and your parents will still feel like they're in control.
   • Some parents are automatically against inviting friends over to your house, so don't consider this a set alternative plan.
8. Ask if you can sleep somewhere if you are already there. It can be risky to ask for somewhere to stay if you're already there, but unprepared plans arise. If you want to be more careful, you can ask if you can stay for dinner, as it is usually easier to get permission for dinner. After dinner, you can relax and call your parents to ask if you can stay the night. Sometimes a parent finds it easier to give consent for something that is already happening. However, if you choose this, you should be prepared for disappointment. Some parents may not like you trying to push through this way.
   • It's a good idea to pack your things for the stay ahead of time, just in case.
   • For this to work, your parents will probably need to know the family where you are staying overnight. It also helps if you have stayed there before without any problems.
9. Agree on a fixed time for delivery and collection. Parents like fixed plans. Give them a reasonably defined plan when you return. That way they can relax for so long. Regular plans are a good thing because they help to combat stress and worry.
   • At the same time, you have to be flexible when they can come and pick you up. Adults often have a lot to do throughout the day, so they have the final say when you are picked up the next day.

Part 3 of 3: Be responsible during the sleepover

1. Don't deviate from your plans. If you say you're going to do something and your parents agree, do your best to stick to it. If you tell them you're going to do one thing, but end up doing something else without their knowledge, you risk them not trusting you afterward.
   • If you can prove to your parents that you can keep to agreements, they will see that you are responsible enough and will gain more confidence in you.
2. Introduce your parents to your friend's parents. Part of your parents' decision depends on what they think of the friend you're staying with. In most cases, however, their ultimate concern is your safety. They want to make sure you are taken care of. That's when the friend's parents come into the picture.
   • If your parents can imagine something by a name, it will reassure them when you want to spend the night there.
3. Introduce the friend to your parents. If your parents don't know your friend yet, it's a good idea to introduce them to them. This allows your parents to see that your friend is not as bad as they might have feared. Even the wilder friends tend to be well behaved when there are other parents around.
   • Your parents will likely try to determine what kind of danger your friend might put you in. If your friend is known to be aggressive and irresponsible, it will be very difficult to get permission to sleep over with that person.
4. Call your parents if you want to be taken home. By sleeping somewhere other than home, you take responsibility for yourself. That also means that you know you have to leave if you don't want to stay anymore. Even if it's late, your parents will probably be glad you decided to call, rather than sit back on something unpleasant. In any case, it will prove to them that you can be trusted to seek their help when you find yourself in a bad situation.
   • For example, if you feel sick or, for whatever reason, you no longer feel comfortable spending the night elsewhere, call your parents.
5. Let your parents know how the sleepover went. Keeping your parents up to date with everything you do will help them feel more comfortable. Whether you're being picked up or taken home, talk to your parents about what the sleepover was like. What sorts of things have you done? Was it fun? What was it like dealing with the rest of that friend's family? All of this can help show your parents that a sleepover is a healthy activity.
   • Remember: You don't just want to make this slumber party work. You also want to enable future sleepovers. Making it a pleasant experience for everyone involved will give you the greatest chance of more sleepovers.

Tips

• Parents want to feel like they are still in control. Spending the night with someone else takes that control away from them. With that in mind, you want to make them feel like they still have that control while you're gone.
• Before asking for a sleepover be sure to mention your friends once or twice by saying things like 'so and so' and I hung out today during recess 'or' I get really good friends with 'so and so' and say that you hope that you can do things after school because they are really nice, then after a few days you ask if they can come by, or vice versa.

Warnings

• Don't sneak out without your parents' permission. This can make your situation a lot worse and you will likely find that the sleepover was not worth it. This will also deteriorate the relationship with your parents and they will not trust you with anything for a while. This also means that you won't be able to go to a sleepover again anytime soon.
• You don't always get your parents' consent for everything, no matter how much you try. That may be a shame, but you can always discuss your plans with your parents at a later time.