Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to learn to take care of yourself
• Method 2 of 3: Learning to Be a Good Listener
• Method 3 of 3: How to Get Help
• Tips

Do you always need to speak up? Do you notice that people get annoyed when you keep talking, or they lose interest in what you say? If you want to change your habits, then start thinking before you speak, and also understand that being silent is also the order of things. Also learn to actively listen and ask questions so you don't turn every conversation into your own monologue. Seek support from family and friends, and learn to adapt to different social situations.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to learn to take care of yourself

1. 1 Assess the reasons for your talkativeness. Perhaps you often like to talk about yourself and do not even suspect that it annoys others. Sometimes people have a nervous need to fill the silence in a conversation, as it creates a sense of awkwardness. Someone feels this need because of the excitement and desire to express everything that is now on their mind.
   • Try to understand the reasons for your talkativeness.
   • Try to spot situations or people that provoke your talkativeness. You may find that you experience intense excitement in the presence of a person or in a certain place. Or are you worried or worried?
   • A sober assessment of these situations will help you control your behavior.
   • Try journaling your behaviors and potential triggers for a few weeks.
2. 2 Notice people who get annoyed or lose interest when you start talking. Have you noticed a habit of talking too much? You may have to apologize for this behavior after the fact. Think about times when your talkativeness became a problem. Try to keep track of these aspects in every conversation for a while. Soon such observations will become a habit. You'd better stop talking (or at least change the subject) if:
   • the person is not paying attention to you or talking to someone else;
   • the person looks bored or indifferent;
   • a person is distracted, looks at the phone, tablet or computer;
   • a person is busy with work;
   • the person cannot concentrate on your words because you speak too fast.
3. 3 Don't turn the conversation into a conversation about yourself. You may find it interesting and fun to talk about yourself, but for others it's not always fun. You do not need to give an example from your own life for every situation. Try to connect the topic of conversation with the interlocutor.
   • Conversation is a two-way street. Learn to slow down and let others talk.
   • Think of a recent time when you talked too much. What was the conversation about? Maybe it only concerned you and your interests?
   • Show more interest in other people's words and actions. If you constantly talk only about yourself, you may end up being perceived as selfish. Start asking questions!
4. 4 Think before you speak. Sometimes there is a desire to say everything that comes to mind, but at such moments it is better to take a break and think it over. Try to understand your thought first and only then speak. This is especially important in a team and in public.
   • After rash words, people often realize that they said too much or voiced something that should not be said.
   • Take your time and consider your thoughts. This will show your maturity and patience.
   • If your words often offend or annoy people, or you are constantly chatting, then begin to listen to the voice of consciousness and think about the words.Don't let your anxiety or nervous excitement speak for you.
5. 5 Understand that pauses in conversation are normal. In fact, they are useful because they allow you to calm your mind and sort your thoughts. You don't have to constantly feel awkward or uncomfortable. Pause and turn the awkward silence into a sign of patience.
   • The thoughtless chatter trying to fill the silence can be a relief at first, but it can also annoy others. Get rid of the feeling of such a need. Perhaps this is a hint that it's time for you to end the conversation or move on to topics that are of interest not only to you. Try to think of some polite ways to end a conversation that has come to its logical conclusion.
   • Many people are comfortable with pauses in conversation, especially as they get older. Think of these pauses as an opportunity to better understand your thoughts and feelings. If you constantly talk, it will be too difficult for you to sort out your current feelings.

Method 2 of 3: Learning to Be a Good Listener

1. 1 Ask questions and show interest. Stop talking only about yourself and your own interests, start asking questions and listening to others. If you want to get rid of excessive talkativeness, it is important to learn how to listen effectively. The conversation concerns not only you, but all the people participating in it.
   • If you are discussing the past day or your own affairs, show interest in the affairs of the other interlocutors. Let them speak up.
   • Listen and participate in the discussion. Shifting attention to other people or to the phone is just rude. If you switch roles, you would probably be offended by such an attitude of the interlocutor.
   • Take an interest in people. Strive to get to know them better. Bring up topics of family, interests, hobbies, favorite movies, sports, music and strive to learn as much as possible. Try to remember at least one fact so that you can discuss it the next time you meet. This will make it easier for you not to talk about yourself and show your interest in the other person's words.
2. 2 Encourage other people to keep the conversation going, rather than filling in pauses. Let's say you are the most talkative person in the group. If others are silent, then you have a desire to talk more. Instead, try to nudge others into conversation.
   • It should be understood that people may be shy or not feel the need to speak, and this is normal.
   • Show that you are kind and interested in the person's words. Say, "What do you think about this?" - or: "I would like to hear your opinion on this matter."
   • If people in the company do not know each other or are shy, then more effort may be required, but it will be justified.
   • The more interest you show and strive to get to know your interlocutors, the less they will perceive your talkativeness as an annoying factor.
3. 3 Listen and don't interrupt. Very often, the interlocutors are annoyed by the habit of chatty people to interrupt others. Try not to rush people and let them speak up. Some people may speak more slowly than you. Patience is one aspect of the ability to actively listen to the interlocutor.
   • Wait three to five seconds for the person to finish speaking, after which you can voice your thoughts. This will help make sure the person has spoken and not paused in the middle of the line.
   • If, during the words of the interlocutor, a certain thought or opinion occurred to you, then this is not a reason to interrupt the person in mid-sentence. Briefly apologize if you made a mistake. Tell them later that you are trying to break the habit. Give your remarks or comments after the person's words and during extended pauses.
4. 4 Learn to rephrase what you hear in your own words. One of the important aspects of being able to listen effectively is to show that you are not only listening carefully, but also understanding what you hear. Rephrase what the other person is saying to clarify details, learn more facts, or better understand a thought.
   • This behavior will show that you are listening carefully and focused on the person. For example, if a person tells you that he is worried about the need to visit relatives, then you can ask: "It seems that you are worried about the idea of ​​how the meeting will go?"
   • Use this opportunity to understand each other if there is a misunderstanding or confusion between you. Also be specific when you don't understand the reasons or motives.

Method 3 of 3: How to Get Help

1. 1 Seek support from close friends and family. Listen openly to their thoughts about your talkativeness. Perhaps they will give you good advice. Ask for a sign when you interrupt people during a conversation or talk too much. Making this commitment can help you reach your goal faster.
   • Ask a close friend or relative if they have experienced similar problems. Perhaps they can explain how they got rid of the habit or what they went through.
   • Listen to recommendations on how to change your habits.
2. 2 Change your communication style. At first it will be difficult for you to communicate or interact with people differently, but it is important to learn how to adapt to a specific situation and for specific listeners.
   • Who are your listeners? A group of people? Only one person to talk to? Quiet and calm, or a talkative person like you? You are at school? At work? In a cafe with friends?
   • Each situation will help you change the way you communicate. Begin to adapt to the words and actions of other people. If everyone is quiet, then try to be quiet. At meetings with friends and at parties, find ways to get the rest of the people talking.
3. 3 Find out the different reasons for excessive talkativeness. Sometimes it is due to personality traits such as extreme extroversion, and sometimes talkativeness is a symptom of a physical or mental illness. More often than not, this habit is associated with anxiety or stress levels that you can control.
   • Be on the lookout for signs that indicate overly assertive, fast, uncontrollable speech. Sometimes it seems to you that you simply cannot stop, and the pace of speech sounds impatient and is in no way justified by the circumstances. In such a situation, it is better to sign up for a consultation with a psychologist or consult a doctor. A doctor may suggest medication, while a psychologist or psychotherapist may recommend a variety of therapy options to address the problem.
   • Be aware if you constantly need company or find strength in conversations with other people. If you are overly extroverted, you may be perceived as an annoying person if you are restless and constantly talking.
   • Sometimes anxiety or stress is the cause of fast speech. Notice your speed of speech and try to remain calm, focused, and relaxed. Try using mindfulness and meditation techniques.
4. 4 Seek the advice of a counseling psychologist if talkativeness gets in the way of your social life. If people start to treat you differently or show their reluctance to communicate with you because of excessive talkativeness, then try to discuss the problem with a counselor psychologist.
   • Talk to a school psychologist, get recommendations from friends, or search the Internet to find a specialist. Learn how to change your communication skills.
   • Ask how to set boundaries in communication and how to respect other people's communication styles. Any experienced psychologist will share with you their unbiased and non-judgmental opinion about the situation.

Tips

• Remember - if you are interested in a certain topic, this is not a reason to expect the same level of enthusiasm from all other interlocutors.