Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Become more confident
• Method 2 of 3: Focus on other things
• Method 3 of 3: Dealing with criticism
• Tips

In itself it is quite understandable that you wonder what others think of you, but if you worry too much about it, it can take over your life, you become unnecessarily stressed and it becomes increasingly difficult to just be yourself. If you find yourself thinking often and often worrying about what others think of you, try to love yourself more in the first place. Try to get your mind used to focusing more on what's really important at the time, instead of paying attention to what others might say or think. Finally, learn how to use constructive criticism in a healthy way, and how to distinguish between such constructive criticism and comments that make no sense or are merely mean.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Become more confident

1. List your strengths and what you have accomplished in your life. Becoming aware that your self-esteem comes from within is important if you want to learn not to worry about what others think of you. A good way to increase your self-confidence and gain more self-esteem is to write down all your positive qualities.
   • For example, your strengths may be related to your character (such as caring and patience), or they may be skills or talents you have (such as being able to cook well or drive safely). Things you accomplished could be things like good grades you got, a project you completed, or a promotion at work.
   • If you're having a hard time coming up with things to put on your list, ask a friend, or someone from your family who wants you right, can help you. You could also fill in the VIA Character Strengths survey or the Strengths questionnaire on the internet to examine extensively which things contribute positively to your personality.

   American consultant Trudi Griffin advises to watch out: "When we worry too much about what others think of us, we often behave differently to please those others. We also project a non-verbal need for approval that can lead to a disturbed power realization within our relationships. "

   
   
2. Replace negative thoughts with ideas that are more realistic. If you have a habit of thinking about the negative side of things all the time, or taking every negative comment personally into you, it can be difficult to teach yourself to think more positively. If you notice that your inner voice is turning negative again, take a moment to evaluate those thoughts. Do they really make sense? If not, replace the negative thoughts with something more neutral and realistic.
   • For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I'm sure nobody likes me in that new school," say to yourself instead, "Maybe not everyone will like me, and that's fine. No one can be friends with everyone. If I just try to be friendly and polite, I'm bound to run into people I get along with. "
   • Learn to accept your weaknesses so that you can improve them.
3. Commit yourself to to work on your weaknesses. All people have weaknesses, and there is nothing wrong with that. Recognizing your weaknesses is an important part of your personal development. If you know about yourself that you have certain weaknesses, try to see them as opportunities to work on yourself, instead of just whining about what's "wrong" with you or what others will think of you. Working on yourself actively will help you feel better about yourself and worry less about how others see you.
   • For example, if you are not completely in shape and that is bothering you, set a number of achievable goals for yourself that will contribute to improving your fitness, even if it is only very small steps at first. For example, you could decide to start walking for half an hour three times a week.
4. Be nice just to be nice. Focusing more on others - and less on yourself - can ultimately make you feel better about yourself. Do your best to be nice and considerate to others every day, without bearing in mind what others will think or what you will get in return. If you feel good, and even if others don't thank you or unfairly condemn what you do, you will still know that you did what you had to do.
   • Try to incorporate a few nice gestures into your daily routine, even if they're just very small things like holding the door open for someone or complimenting someone on their outfit.
5. Set reasonable boundaries in your interactions with others. It's important to be nice, but that doesn't mean you should let others take advantage of you or disrespect you. If you're not in the habit of setting boundaries, it can be quite tricky at first. Still, you will eventually feel much better about yourself and feel more confident in your relationships with others once you have set clear boundaries.
   • Always remember that it is okay to say "no" every now and then.
   • Be clear and direct to others about your boundaries, and let them know the consequences if someone violates them. For example, say, "Mom, if you argue with me about the way I raise my son every time you come to visit, I don't invite you anymore."
   • People may initially react angry or disappointed, or not want to accept your boundaries, especially if the people in your life aren't used to you setting boundaries. But the people who really care about you should accept your limits, even if they aren't immediately happy with them.
   • If someone continues to refuse to respect your boundaries, they may have to diminish contact with that person.

Method 2 of 3: Focus on other things

1. Try to identify exactly what you are concerned about. When the fears you feel about what others think of you are big and vague, you can often hardly imagine them. Try to determine exactly what you are worried about. That way, your fears will not only become less overwhelming, but you can also more easily develop a strategy for dealing with those fears.
   • For example, you may always be afraid at work that people will judge you in a negative way. See if you can address your concerns in a more specific way. Are you worried that your boss thinks you are not productive enough? Are you worried that a colleague might be gossiping about you? Do you feel like you need more training and support at work?
2. Try to determine what is behind your specific fears. Once you've articulated what's bothering you, think about where that fear comes from. Sometimes you may find that your concerns are not based on anything. But you may still be suffering from fears that you taught yourself earlier in life. With a little self-reflection, you may find that those fears aren't actually based on anything.
   • For example, you may be concerned that certain people at work will judge you negatively because you have tattoos. If you work in a place where tattoos are seen as inappropriate (say, at a traditional law firm), then that could be a good reason to be concerned indeed.
   • If you work in a hip cafe where almost everyone has a piercing or a separate haircut, your tattoos probably won't be a problem. Ask yourself if your concern might be for some other reason, such as things you heard from your parents in your childhood (for example, "If you get that tattoo, no one will trust you!").
3. Practice mindfulness. Being mindful involves being aware of your surroundings, your thoughts and your feelings at all times. Doing your best to live mindfully can help you be more aware of the here and now, instead of worrying about what might happen or what other people might think.
   • If you find yourself worried about what other people are thinking, calmly send your thoughts back to the here and now. Think about what you are doing, how you feel, and what you are trying to achieve at the time.
   • Acknowledge your feelings and your thoughts without judging them. Simply by being more aware of what's going on in your head, you will be able to recognize your fears more easily and respond to them better.
   • Try to meditate mindfully to get used to being mindful all the time. Look for mindful meditation apps or internet exercises to practice mindful meditation with guidance.
4. Have a strategy to prepare for the worst that could happen. Many of the fears about what other people think are caused by worrying about what might not happen. You can alleviate some of those fears yourself by devising a solution or an action plan in case the worst possible scenario materializes.
   • For example, you may keep thinking, "I'm going to screw up my part of this group project, and then everyone in the group hates me." Ask yourself, "What would I do if I screwed up? How could I feel better? How could I make sure it doesn't happen again? "
   • Even if the only solution you can think of is something as simple as, "I'd say I'm sorry I screwed up," that's something. Even with a very simple basic plan on hand, you will feel a lot calmer and less helpless.
5. Distract yourself by taking action. A good way to take your mind off what other people are thinking is to do something productive. Keeping yourself busy with something important can help you focus more on what you're doing, and keep you from wondering how others (might) judge you. For example, you can:
   • Finishing a job or a project that you keep postponing.
   • Volunteer for a cause that you support.
   • Enthusiastically doing something nice for someone (such as mowing the lawn at the neighbors).
   • Working on a hobby, a creative project or anything else you enjoy doing.
   • Do something fun with someone you care about.

Method 3 of 3: Dealing with criticism

1. Be open to the criticism while listening to it. Criticism is often painful, but it is often easier to deal with it if you see it as an opportunity to grow and work on yourself, rather than something painful and discouraging. If someone says something critical to you, listen to it actively before you get on the defensive. You may find what that person has to say helpful. Before you get angry or say it doesn't make sense, think about the following:
   • The source. Is the criticism coming from someone who is normally helpful and whose opinions you normally respect?
   • Content. Has the other person just said something vague or insulting (such as, 'You are a fool!'), Or has he or she actually said something specifically about your behavior and how it bother him or you arrive late, I get distracted and have to interrupt my work. ')?
   • The way it was said. Was the person trying to be tactical and constructive in the criticism, or was he or she unnecessarily harsh and direct?
2. Ignore criticism and judgments that you know are not based on anything. Just because someone has something critical to say to you or about you does not mean that he or she is right. Weigh his or her words carefully, but remember that you really don't always have to care about the opinions of others.
   • For example, if someone says you're lazy, but you know you've been crushed, remind yourself. You could say to yourself, "I am not lazy. I may not be able to do everything he or she does, but it's just because everyone is different. I'm doing my best and that's enough. "
3. Show that you are above it when others criticize or judge you. If someone says something mean to you or about you, it can be tempting to hit their face or give them a taste of their own medicine. You probably won't achieve much with it alone. Even if you don't like what he or she says, you'll feel a lot better (plus impress others!) If you do the opposite and respond in a nice and civilized way.
   • Even if you disagree with what the other has just said to you, you can still respond in such a way that you accept the other person's worth (but maybe not his or her words). For example, you can say, "Thank you for the advice. I'll think about it. "
   • If his or her intention was to be rude or mean, a nice answer can disconcert the bully and make him or her think about his or her behavior. And even if that is not the case, it may still be the case that this way you come out of the situation as a stronger person.
4. Always remember that the way others see you comes from those others, not you. If someone says or thinks something unkind about you, it says more about him or her than it does about you. You cannot change the way others think about you; they can only do that themselves. Remember, all you can do is work hard to be the best possible version of yourself and accept that you will never be able to please everyone.
5. Spend time with people who want you well. It's always hard to stay confident when you're constantly surrounded by people who put you down and make you feel like you're not good enough all the time. If there is someone in your life who is constantly belittling you, condemning you, taking advantage of you, or crossing your boundaries, you may be better off disconnecting from that person. Try to do things more often with people who respect you and who come from a loving and supportive environment, including when they are critical.
   • If you get a lot of negative comments from someone you can't avoid completely, such as a coworker, try to spend as little time with that person as possible. Be civilized or at least neutral when you meet him or her, but don't visit that person.

Tips

• Try to pay attention to the good qualities of others.If you don't want others to judge you harshly, try to treat those people with respect yourself.
• Don't get arrogant. Disregarding criticism is not the same as being arrogant.
• Think about whether you might be thinking irrational things that don't make sense. Such thoughts can keep you from achieving your goals and lead to destructive behavior.
• Concentrate on your flaws and try to correct them. Don't worry about what others say about you. Just tell them you don't care and focus on the nicer things in life.