Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Speak effectively
• Method 2 of 3: Listening effectively
• Method 3 of 3: Prepare the setting
• Tips
• Warnings

We all need a little help sometimes. To get the help we need, we must be effective in convincing others. By using effective language, by actively listening, and by creating effective conditions in advance, we can increase our persuasiveness and convince everyone to do what we need to do. These skills can also build confidence and prepare you for competent leadership.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Speak effectively

1. Tell a good backstory. People are intrigued by personal stories. When you ask for something, start at the beginning and tell a coherent story. Why are you asking for this? What are the emotional and / or personal elements associated with this need? Sharing this information will greatly increase your persuasiveness.
   • In general, you just have to tell the truth! You did not just take this opportunity and developed this need out of the blue. Tell the story behind it.
   • It's no problem adding some drama to the story. What obstacles have you overcome? What's still getting in the way? How has your passion, dedication or shrewdness helped you persevere?
2. Use ethos, pathos and logos. According to Aristotle, there are three pillars of rhetorical persuasion. These are ethos (credibility of a speaker), pathos (emotional calls) and logos (appeal to logic). When talking to the person you are trying to convince, include information about your credibility, make a logical argument, and find a way to evoke emotion in the other person.
   • Explain your credibility. How long have you been working in a particular field or have you been researching a particular investment opportunity? This speaks for your ethos.
   • Explain what you logically need. How can this be an advantage for the other person as well as for you? This is an argument based on logos.
   • Try to move the listener emotionally. What would it mean to you if they helped you? This is an appeal to pathos.
3. Put your request in the correct order. Most of the time, we tend to get something done from a person with flattery. Unfortunately, this often has the opposite effect: your kind words come across as unfair. Instead, come up with what you want right away and then say a few nice things.
   • Instead of saying, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long. Congratulations on all that you have accomplished! It all looks great. Besides, I was wondering if you could help me with a project. "
   • Try it this way: "Hello! I want to ask if you can help me with a project. I haven't seen you in a long time. Congratulations on all you have done! It all looks great. "
   • Using the second formulation surprisingly makes you a lot more sincere.
4. Don't ask the other person to make a decision. In general, people don't like to make decisions. Even simple choices can be stressful. So don't give the person you want to convince all kinds of options. Ask for what you need as soon as possible and make it easy for him or her to say "yes".
   • For example, if you want someone to help you move into a new apartment, just tell them when, the time, and exactly what the other person can help you with.
   • You may be tempted to offer flexible move dates, flexible times, or other accommodations, but ironically, these excessive decisions to make are more likely to cause stress and tend to say "no."
5. Speak in the affirmative. People respond best to declarative, positive statements. Don't ignore the things you want to say. Provide clear directions and affirmative statements.
   • Instead of saying, "Don't hesitate to call me," you say, "Call me on Friday."

Method 2 of 3: Listening effectively

1. Start with a chat. Start your convincing conversation with a friendly chat with the person you want to convince. This can help break the ice and create a casual atmosphere. People are more likely to be convinced when they are relaxed.
   • Find out about his or her life. Use this as a springboard. Could you perhaps ask about the recently married daughter, the new home, or a recent achievement?
   • Ask questions. If the other person says, "I've been thinking about going on vacation," ask where. Ask for more details about that place.
2. Listen to body language. An easy way to forge an emotional bond is to mirror the other person's body language. Pay attention to what the other person is doing with his or her body and mirror those expressions. Mirroring body language is a non-verbal way of saying, "We are like-minded."
   • When the other person smiles, you smile back.
   • If the other person leans forward, so should you.
   • If the other person takes up a lot of space with his or her body, make yourself bigger too.
3. Listen more than you speak. People enjoy talking more than listening. By listening more than you speak, you can make the other person open up and feel more comfortable. The more the other person talks, the more they will reveal crucial details about themselves, such as what they think is important or what they think. That can help you convince the other.
   • Prevent the conversation from returning to you too soon. When the other person is talking about a vacation, don't jump right in to describe the vacation you would like to have.
   • Ask follow-up questions and listen carefully to the answers.
   • Pay specific attention to any powerful adjectives that the other person uses. If he or she thinks something "amazing" or "great" it means that it is something the person is passionate about.
4. Fill in the blanks. Asking someone a direct question can sometimes give the other person the feeling of being questioned. To avoid this feeling, combine fill-in questions with traditional questions.
   • Instead of asking, "How would you like to buy a new car," try something like, "If you were to buy a new car, you feel…?"
   • Let the other person finish that sentence for you.
5. Shift the conversation to "needs". Casually steer the conversation toward needs. Hopefully, by listening carefully you have already established a little bit what the other likes or cares about. Then use this "needs" portion of the conversation to determine how you can help the other person so that they can help you.
   • For example, you can ask, "What could make your day easier?"
   • Sharing their own wish or need can prompt the other to talk about their needs. You could say, "I wish my investment partner would listen to my ideas," to find out if there is an interpersonal gap in their lives.

Method 3 of 3: Prepare the setting

1. Choose the right person to convince. Chances are, there are a few different people who can give you what you want. How do you know which one to convince? The best person will be the one with whom you already have the strongest personal connection, who is the best fit for you emotionally and / or who may also need something from you. Aim for two of these three conditions.
2. Wait until after lunch. People are more likely to be open and helpful when they are not hungry. Hunger can generate fear, tension and negative emotions. Make your persuasion most effective by scheduling your conversation right after lunch.
3. Help the other so that they can help you. Reciprocity builds trust and strengthens relationships. If you know you're asking someone for a big favor, pave the way by helping them out ahead of time. If you see that person needs help, be the first to step forward. Even helping with a small task, such as carrying a heavy item or doing the dishes, can put you in a favorable light with the other person and set the stage for a future favor.
4. Choose the right environment. Studies have shown that people are more likely to be "business-minded" (thrifty, selfish, and / or aggressive) in a corporate environment. You can make someone more generous by changing the location. Talk to him or her in a cafe, restaurant, or home, rather than in a conference room.
5. Practice what you want to say. If you want to be convincing, it has to seem like you know what you're talking about. To appear confident, practice your main points of discussion beforehand. If possible, it is helpful to rehearse your conversation with another person. If no one is available, it can also work very well to practice in front of the mirror.

Tips

• Be polite.
• Don't be pushy.
• Communicate emotions that you want the recipient to take over, so that he or she wants to do something for you.

Warnings

• Being persistent doesn't mean you are desperate. Despair is a huge turnoff.
• Don't get too emotional.
• Do not appear insecure about what you are doing.
• If your persuasion fails, don't whine or put yourself down. Otherwise, it can make you depressed.