Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Show affection to your partner
• Method 2 of 3: Show affection to family and friends
• Method 3 of 3: Understanding affection
• Tips
• Warnings

Connecting with other people can be a comfort whether you are upset or just getting on with your day-to-day life. Knowing someone cares about you has a big impact, and showing someone affection feels good for you and the other person. For some people this comes naturally, but others may need a little help or advice when it comes to showing affection. This is, at least in part, due to the fact that different people have different ideas about what affection means and how or when to give it.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Show affection to your partner

1. Touch your partner often. Kissing your partner is one of the most obvious signs of affection. You also want to show more subtle physical contact - especially in public places. Holding hands and giving knugs are less noticeable in public than kissing your partner.
   • If your partner has had a particularly stressful day and needs extra attention, offering a back massage can also be a great way to show your love.
   • Even small gestures such as sitting close to your partner while you watch TV can let them know that you care.
2. Use kind words to connect with your partner. Communication is extremely important to a healthy relationship. Show affection to your partner by complimenting the things he or she does well and how much you care about him or her. Also, it never hurts to give a note or text message to show that you are thinking about the other person, even if they are not there.
   • This can be as simple as telling your partner you missed him or her as soon as he or she comes home from a trip.
   • If your partner is struggling with something in personal life or at work, these kind words will let you know that you support him or her.
3. Give your partner a gift. This could be during a vacation, but it is not necessary. If your partner needs a boost, you can also give a gift whenever you want! Make sure your gift is thoughtful and really something that suits your partner. Even a generic item, such as a coveted CD, can be specially crafted with a letter or photo to give it a more personal touch.
   • Making a gift for your partner shows that you know them well enough to choose a great gift. The time spent creating it will also show your dedication.
4. Spend time together. This means putting away cell phones and other distractions and giving your partner all the attention for a while. Make sure you take regular outings with your partner, and if you find that the other person is going through a rough time (like getting used to a new neighborhood after moving) then you should do it more often.
   • Simply giving your time and energy is a great way to show affection. It will also help strengthen your bond.
   • Setting an evening together for the two of you can certainly be in town, but if your partner needs a quiet evening, you can always stay home and watch a movie together.
5. Give meaning to your togetherness. In the fast-paced world of SMS and email, we are "connected" all the time. The problem is that we often forget to make these kinds of connections personal. When your partner needs a real personal connection, you need to be aware of it and make sure you provide that connection. Instead of sending abbreviated texts like "om", say something like "I'm excited to see you." I'll be there in a minute. "While this says essentially the same thing, the first is very dry and impersonal, but the second shows that you really care about the other and can't wait to see them.
   • Thank your partner for doing something thoughtful or for the daily things that your partner thinks go unnoticed (like taking out the trash).
   • Focus your compliment on your partner to make it more meaningful. Instead of saying "You are beautiful," try something like "You have the most amazing smile."
   • Pay attention to the specific things that make your partner unique. Try something like, "You always have such an interesting view of things. I love to talk to you. "
6. Do a job for your partner. We all have a chore or two that we enjoy doing. In addition, the rest are just chores that need to be done. If you're stressed about something like a major promotion going or not, doing these chores can be tough at times. Help your partner with some of these chores so they can get on with their day - that's a great way to show that you care.
   • This can be as small as doing the dishes or helping you paint the house.
   • If you are unsure of what to do, ask! Ask something like, "Is there anything I can help you with?" Or "Is there anything I can do to make life easier for you?"

Method 2 of 3: Show affection to family and friends

1. Offer affection. All families are different, and they will show affection in different ways. Some parents expect a hug from their children, while others are more comfortable with a handshake. Friendships also have a wide variety of expressions, but regardless of the gesture, it will make it clear to a family member or friend that you are there for the other.
   • Children can seek and need more contact. Hold their hand as they cross the street or pick them up if they are too tired to walk to let them know you are there.
   • With adult family and friends, put your hand on their shoulder or squeeze their hand to let them know that you are there for them and that you care.
2. Tell your loved ones how you feel. People often forget the importance of openness as they get older. Often times, family members will stop telling each other that they care, and this can create a distance between them. Be open and honest with your family and friends, especially when they are struggling.
   • For example, you could give your best friend a long, heartwarming hug before moving to another city for a new job.
   • Children need feedback. Tell them you love and care about them no matter what. Do not be only loving when they do something good or have hurt themselves. Otherwise, they may start to think these are the only times you care about them.
3. Be generous. This does not mean that you should spend all your money or time giving gifts to friends and family members. Just make sure that when you give a gift, it is something your family member will enjoy. It can be as simple as paying the bill for lunch or buying your child's first car.
   • Don't underestimate time as a gift. Time is precious, especially when life is busy, but they'll appreciate the effort if you take time for them when they need it.
4. Help friends and relatives in need. Whether you help your mom clean up the house or help your best friend move to another city, it will be appreciated. Chores big or small can add up and overwhelm everyone, and helping a loved one get things done is a clear sign of affection.
   • For example, something as simple as stopping by to cook dinner for your sister when she's just given birth can have a lasting impact.
   • The key here is to think about the other and be considerate. Vacuuming the house may seem easy, but someone inundated with other work will really appreciate it!

Method 3 of 3: Understanding affection

1. Learn about the five love languages. This is a concept often used to discuss the different ways people give and receive affection. Affectionate acts are grouped into five categories, or languages, as follows: physical touch, words of support, gifts, service, and making time for the other. You must use these "languages" to understand how those you care about give and receive affection.
   • Lovers may speak a different love language than you. Talk to them to learn what kind of affection they need.
   • Try a test or quiz to learn which love language works best for both of you. Make sure they are legitimate and understand that the results are not generally applicable.
   • When talking to your partner, make sure you listen actively. This indicates that you really care about what the other says.
2. Know what kind of relationship you have with the person you care about. When it comes to your partner, or even most family members, you usually know what level the two of you are in a relationship on. Friends can sometimes be more complicated. Old friends often get affection as if they were part of the family, while newer or lesser known friends may feel uncomfortable with that.
   • Apply the same five principles to friends and colleagues, but adjust the actions so that they are appropriate.
   • For example, if a coworker responds well to positive words, say something like, "I like your new haircut" instead of "Your legs look beautiful in that dress."
3. Don't command affection. Any time a person seems uncomfortable with your affection, you should stop. The other person can explain why your affection makes them uncomfortable, but they don't have to. It is up to each person to decide who to accept affection from or not.
   • Also keep in mind that even if your partner likes a certain type of affection (like hugging), they may not always want it.

Tips

• Don't expect affection to be answered immediately. Especially if the person you care about is upset.
• Surprising someone with any of these things can really show them that you care.
• Don't take it personally if the person doesn't like your gift, can't make an appointment that day, etc. People are often very busy, but if you make an effort to show affection, they will likely see and appreciate it.

Warnings

• Make sure your interactions are appropriate. You will treat your five-year-old son differently than your fifteen-year-old daughter.