Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Overcoming reserve
• Part 2 of 2: Improving your social life
• Tips

While it may seem like some people are easier to get along with than others, the fact is that all humans are social animals and just like with any other skill, it is also possible to train yourself to become more sociable. Read this article to learn how to get out of your comfort zone and enrich your social life.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Overcoming reserve

1. Be less critical. Some people who call themselves "non-social" tend to constantly criticize themselves and those around them. They avoid socializing because, on the one hand, they fear being judged by others and (ironically) on the other, are extremely judgmental when it comes to others. In order to become a more social person, it is important to accept that everyone, regardless of their appearance, has both positive and negative sides. What distinguishes confident people from insecure people is the attitude they take towards themselves. Confident, social people tend to focus on their own positives and those around them, while insecure people, less sociable people, tend to focus on their own shortcomings and the shortcomings of the people they know.
   • List your positive qualities. Make sure to include both the inner (intellectual, emotional) and external (physical) traits. Make it a habit to remind yourself of these positive qualities daily, and counter any negative thoughts you have about yourself with two positive ones.
   • Stop talking about yourself as being shy, timid, or not social. The more you use these words to describe yourself, the more you reinforce the idea that you are incapable of social interaction! If this idea scares you, remember that the way others view you does not depend on them, but on you. If you want to become a more social person, then you will have to start believing that you are and can be a social person. Remind yourself that being social is one choice and not predisposition.
   • Accept that human beings are good by nature. While there are plenty of bad people out there, it's important to accept that people are loving, kind, and tolerant people. Believing this will make you look forward to meeting new people, rather than avoiding them.
2. Don't over-analyze your interactions. Thinking too much about something is usually what keeps people from enjoying social interaction. While it may seem difficult, it's important to break the habit of anticipating what social interactions will be like before they happen, and thinking too much about them afterward.
   • Rather than focusing on what can go wrong or how to embarrass yourself, you should approach every new social interaction with a blank slate and a positive attitude.
   • When thinking about past interactions, focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Even if it wasn't the most special or exciting interaction of your life, try to pick out one good experience for every interaction you've had, even if it's something as simple as having been able to make someone laugh .
3. Realize that you are not as important as you think. Interestingly, shy people who feel invisible and unwanted also tend to think they are constantly in the spotlight, viewed and criticized by other people. This strange shyness paradox is what keeps people from feeling comfortable around others. This does not mean that you should feel like an insignificant person, but rather that you will have to recognize that you yourself are your own worst critic; other people are just too busy to constantly judge and criticize you.
   • Remember, people are so preoccupied with their own lives and interactions that they have little time to notice if you embarrass yourself, say something stupid, or don't look your best. Even if they do notice, they are very unlikely to care very much because they have their own issues.
   • Understand that everyone, in one way or another, feels exactly the same way you do. Even most social people are still insecure and afraid of making a fool of themselves; the only difference is that they choose to take the risk and enjoy it, rather than worrying about how others will react.

Part 2 of 2: Improving your social life

1. Keep practicing. Like any other skill, being easy with others requires consistent behavior and practice. This means stepping out of your comfort zone and forcing yourself to interact with other people on a regular basis. Avoid compartmentalizing your life and separating your "social life" from the rest of your life. If you really want to be a social person, it applies to all aspects of your life, from work to school and family.
   • Make it a habit to casually start a conversation with the people you meet every day, including bank employees, baristas, and cashiers.
   • Spend your free time with your friends when possible. If you're the kind of person who spends a lot of time alone on a specific hobby or physical activity, next time ask a friend to join you.
   • Always accept invitations from others. Avoid making excuses, such as being too tired, having to get up early the next day, or feeling unattractive. While some excuses are legitimate, others can easily be used to avoid contact. Learn to distinguish between honest and unfair apologies.
2. Be positive. Everyone wants to be around positive, cheerful and happy people. Even if you don't feel positive all the time, try to be positive behave when you are talking to other people. For example, if someone asks you if you can tell us something about your life, focus on the positive aspects instead of complaining about anything negative.
   • Making your life look as interesting as possible will immediately pique people's interest and make them want to learn more about you.
3. Be fully involved. If you want to appear interesting to others, you will also have to show interest in them, especially during a conversation. When talking to someone, listen to what that person is saying instead of worrying about what you should say. Make eye contact, nod your head, and ask questions.
   • Don't constantly check your phone or look around you while in the middle of a conversation. These kinds of things come across as rude and suggest that you are not interested in the person or a conversation.
4. Watch your body language. When you are present at a party or other social occasion, your posture sends a signal to other people. If you want to be approached by others, don't stand in the corner with your arms folded, staring at your phone and with a frown on your face.
   • By making eye contact with others and smiling, you show that you are a friendly, open and non-intimidating personality. Plus, everyone looks more smilingly attractive.
5. Be the first to make contact. If you keep waiting for others to come to you or invite you, you are wasting your life. Relationships are established on the basis of mutual effort; if you want to show people that you value their friendship, you will need to reach out and create opportunities for you to spend time together.
   • Even if you don't live in the same place, keep in touch with friends. Pick up the phone and call them, send an SMS or an email to ask how they are doing.
6. Look for opportunities to meet new people. The best way to make new friends and expand your social circle is to say yes to new opportunities to meet others. Accept invitations to parties and social occasions, visit new places and talk to people you don't know in cafes, on the bus, at school, on the plane, etc.
   • It can be frightening meeting new people, but try to think about it like this: If you don't know them anyway, then you have nothing to lose if it doesn't work out. On the other hand, you never know if a stranger could suddenly turn out to be your new best friend, business partner or lover!
7. Make notes of what other people love. It's not easy to remember what each person you've met so far likes or is interested in. So, when you go home, make notes of what that person loves. Research it thoroughly and when you see each other again, talk about it. You will be amazed at how many friends you can make just by immersing yourself in what everyone is interested in. This may seem difficult and time consuming at first, so start with your classmates or colleagues.
   • Remember not to go too far in this. For example, don't stalk the other person on social networking sites. Just knowing when Barcelona won and when to play next is enough. Even that person will keep the conversation going, so don't worry about the conversation coming to a halt.

Tips

• Avoid people who make you feel insecure about yourself. Rather associate with people who encourage you to progress.
• Being positive has a good impact on others.
• Don't be afraid to talk to someone else! This may just turn out to be a new good friend. Even though it might make you nervous, just do it before you miss out on something or someone special.
• When talking to someone you don't know well, start with something you have in common, even if it's about school or work. Then, when the conversation has started, you can switch to other topics.
• Being social doesn't mean you have to be friends with everyone. It is impossible to please everyone and it is more rewarding to have a small group of close friends than hundreds of mediocre, shallow friends.
• Always try to be yourself and not impersonate someone else.
• It's best to keep your personal beliefs about religion, politics, abortion, etc. out of the conversation unless the person is actually interested. And even then, try to keep extreme ideas to yourself. These topics rarely lead to pleasant conversations.
• Try to bring a close friend to a special event. Sometimes having someone support you can be a huge help, even just one person can make you feel much more secure.
• Don't forget to smile and say hello to everyone you meet. This helps break down barriers, keeps you in their memories, and can encourage them to talk to you later.
• Let the tension slide and just go for it! Do this now so you don't regret missing out on someone! This person just might become your best friend in the future!