Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 4: List your own needs
• Part 2 of 4: Consider practicalities
• Part 3 of 4: Looking at his behavior
• Part 4 of 4: Contributing to a healthy relationship
• Tips

Choosing a life partner is a big decision and not one to take lightly. If you want to know what kind of man you would like to marry, ask yourself a few questions. Know your own role and responsibilities in creating a happy relationship and recognize that it is up to you to create the relationship you want. Be content with who you are and do your best to accept the other person's family. Talk about your differences and any problems that might arise if you were to get married.

To step

Part 1 of 4: List your own needs

1. Ask yourself what you want. Consider what qualities you are looking for in a man. Ask yourself what you admire in a man and how you want to enjoy the time you spend together. You may want to make a list of the things you desire and those you have a firm idea about, such as children or religion. Think about what kind of man you would like to build a future with.
   • If you are currently in a relationship with someone, be honest with yourself and see if you really feel good about the relationship or if you are hoping for something else deep down.
2. Be content with who you are. Before you get married, you must make sure that you are comfortable in your own skin. Know what your best qualities are and what you can improve. When choosing a guy, find someone who makes it feel very natural to be together. Find someone who brings out the best in you, such as your kindness and humor. You don't have to feel like you have to change to be good enough for your husband.
   • You should feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings openly to this person without fear of their judgment or ridicule.
   • If you feel pressure to be someone else or act in a certain way to get the other person's attention, it could be a bad sign.
   • Make sure you are ready for a committed relationship. Evaluate where you are at this stage in your life. Are you ready to get married now? The coming years? Or are there things you want to achieve before getting married? Do you know well enough what you want to get married?
3. First, put yourself first. Think about your goals and what you want to do with your life. Then ask yourself if he is going to support you and be a part of it. The man you marry must be the person who will help you grow and become a better person in all areas. For example, if you want to live in another country, find a man who will support you and go with you.
   • Find a man who will support you and encourage you to pursue your desires and dreams.
4. Know if he wants to get married. If you're dating a guy who says he probably doesn't want to get married, it might not be wise to wait for him to change his mind. If you're trying to find the right man, make sure it's someone who actually wants to get married. If your relationship gets serious, ask about his future hopes and dreams. If he doesn't mention a marriage in his answer, ask him about it.
   • If you've been waiting for years for your boyfriend to change his mind, start a serious conversation and let him know what you want.
   • Don't be afraid to ask him this question or put it off because you fear his answer. This is an important question. If you are serious about getting married, then you need to know if your loved one feels the same way.

Part 2 of 4: Consider practicalities

1. Investigate your compatibility. When it comes to compatibility, the most important thing is that you somehow feel like a unity. You may spend your free time the same way, have the same hobby, or just enjoy being together. When you think about your partner, think about which parts you would like to connect with.
   • Whether you both love camping or both already have kids, make sure there is at least one thing you can bond with your potential spouse. Perhaps you are united by similar beliefs or you both place great value on family.
2. Use similar conflict styles. Everyone has a different way of approaching problems in a relationship. Some people get angry and scream, others prefer to avoid conflict, and still others deal with conflict when it arises and seek compromise. It makes little difference what style you and your partner have, but more or both styles are similar.
   • Think about how you approach conflict, and then find a man who takes a similar or complementary approach. Even if his style is different from yours, both of you should be able to work well together to resolve conflict.
   • Conflict resolution can help you understand each other better and not hold a grudge against each other.
3. Discuss religious differences. If religion is very important to you, find a partner who shares your beliefs. Marrying someone of a different religion than you can affect your relationship and cause problems in the future, so think about how this might affect your marriage and family. If it is necessary for you and your family for your husband to share the same religion, you should ask him to convert or separate. Talk openly about the impact of religious differences on your relationship and any children.
   • Find common ground in your belief or value system. Learn to accept your husband's religion and learn about it.
4. Talk about finances. Think about how you handle money and find a man with a similar approach. If you tend to budget carefully and save your money, find a guy with similar habits. Money can be a big problem and a major source of conflict in a marriage, so understand a potential mate's habits as early as possible.
   • Consider your values ​​around keeping separate bank accounts or using a joint bank account. Have a plan for dealing with debt, creating savings, and dividing money.
5. Build family relationships. Determine the role of the family in your future marriage. If you want to be deeply involved in the family life of your family of origin, choose a man with similar family values. Some people want little to do with their in-laws, while others spend a lot of time together. Ideally, you want to at least feel welcome and accepted by his family and make him feel the same by your family.
   • If you don't have a good relationship with your own family and you want to feel connected to your future husband's family, find a man who lives close to his family and has a great relationship with his parents and siblings.

Part 3 of 4: Looking at his behavior

1. See if he is emotionally open. Make sure you can connect emotionally with your partner. You shouldn't have to beg for your future spouse's attention, nor should you be low on the list of people he wants to spend time with. You need to feel like you are getting the attention you need and that there is a connection on an emotional level.
   • Look for a man you can talk to openly and who makes you feel understood.
   • For example, people in healthy emotional relationships will focus on each other during difficult times and when there is reason for joy.
2. Look at his friendships and family relationships. Talk about his friendships and his relationship with his family. Find a man who is able to maintain long-term relationships and who has lifelong friends. Watch how he moves through his relationships: see how he handles conflict, shows support, and is involved with the people he loves.
   • If he has a lot of conflict in his relationships or has broken up with friends or family members, ask what led to these actions and why they happened repeatedly.
3. Be willing to change together. The person you marry may not be the same person in 5, 10 or 50 years. Both you and he will change, so be ready for that. Both of you are likely to make physical, mental and emotional changes in your life. If you are having children or going through other major changes in your life, make it a goal to change together, not separately.
   • If you are looking for the right man, see if he can be flexible with changes and turn to you and not away from you. Notice how he reacts to changes in his life and ask yourself how he would do it in the long run.

Part 4 of 4: Contributing to a healthy relationship

1. Take responsibility. While you want to find the right man, you also need to be the right partner for your future husband in the relationship. It's easy to blame someone for what goes wrong in a relationship. However, you cannot change someone, you can only change yourself. If you designate a person as the "right" or "wrong" man, you miss consideration of your own part in the relationship. You alone are responsible for the relationship you want.
   • Take responsibility for your own feelings without blaming your partner, and watch if he does too. If you feel frustrated, speak up or do something to change things on your own initiative.
2. Accept his flaws. Recognize from the outset that you will not marry a perfect man. He has flaws and he will annoy you from time to time. Before getting married, be aware of the things that annoy or disturb you about him. Life at home (like a messy man) or your lifestyle (like a man who spends a lot of time with friends) may annoy you. Know what things bother or annoy you and don't think that they will magically disappear once you get married. More likely, they will increase.
   • Accept that there are many things you disagree with. Be willing to accept him as he is without wanting to change him.
   • Accept that you also have flaws. Be ready for them to come to light.
3. Pay attention to any warning signs. If you fall in love with someone who already has major problems, such as a drinking or drug problem, don't get carried away with your feelings. Free yourself from your emotions and step into a more rational way of thinking. Ask yourself if there are things you are avoiding or overlooking that are important to acknowledge. If you hope that problems will magically solve themselves, be realistic about how they might actually turn out.
   • Don't expect it to get better. For example, if the man is violent or has an addiction, don't expect him to change just because you might get married. Be careful.

Tips

• Don't think about it as "choosing" the right man. Think of it as letting someone into your life and deciding how you want that person to be.