Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Associating consequences with bad behavior
• Part 2 of 3: Making the child aware of their misbehavior
• Part 3 of 3: Positive reinforcement of good behavior
• Tips

Punishing children can be a difficult task, especially when it comes to wayward or older children. Discipline not only teaches children what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior, but how they are punished also teaches them how to respond to negative situations as adults. If you respond to negative behavior with rational deliberation aimed at problem solving, your children will learn to do the same because they learn more from how you act than from what you say. Most experts agree that the most important part of punishing children is making them feel safe and loved, and say that positive affirmation is more effective than punishment.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Associating consequences with bad behavior

1. Establish clear expectations and consequences. Make sure your child knows exactly what is expected of him / her and what will happen if these rules are broken. You can teach your child more about the consequences of their actions by explaining the relationship between choices and consequences. For example, you can link your child's behavior to consequences by saying things like:
   • "You choose to shorten your time in the park by behaving too much."
   • "You missed your turn to play with the toy when you took it from another child."
   • "You decided to stop the game afternoon when you started biting your boyfriend."
   • "By not cleaning up your toys you are no longer allowed to play with them."
   • "By not being honest, we no longer trust you."
2. Let your child learn from his / her mistakes. Actions have natural consequences, and places like school, church, and society all have their own expectations of your child. Sometimes your child will have to learn the hard way that there are rules of conduct not only within your household. As difficult as it can be, it is sometimes important to let your child fail so he can learn from the consequences.
   • For example, instead of staying up late the night before a test to help with homework, let the child get a bad grade for not doing their homework. This lesson is especially important for older children as they expect more independence and confidence from you.
   • This lesson can be less severe in young children. For example, if your child deliberately breaks a toy, don't replace it. This will teach the child what it means to be responsible and what it feels like to lose something.
   • Children of all ages must also learn to respect others, so do not intervene if your child is not invited to a party or event because they have been mean to other children.
3. Use a timeout if necessary. Time out is an excellent way to give children and parents time to calm down after an emotional situation. Choose a place that is quiet and free of distractions, but not necessarily out of sight. Ask your child to use the time to think about some solutions to the problem that resulted in the timeout.
   • Do not use the timeout to humiliate or punish.
   • For young children, especially those under the age of three, you can use a time-out mat so you can still keep an eye on things. The mat is portable and can be used for timeouts when you are not at home.
   • A time-out should not exceed one minute for each year of your child.
4. Take away a privilege or toy. Do this right after the offense so that your child understands and connects the bad behavior with the punishment. Use this opportunity to teach your child that there are natural and logical consequences by matching the taken toy or privilege to match the offense.
   • Physical items such as toys work better with younger children, while an older child may be more responsive to the loss of a privilege or the freedom it was given.
   • Don't give in or end the punishment too soon, or the next time your child will know that they can control the situation.
   • Privileges that can be taken away include watching television, playing on the computer or gaming with friends, outings to the park, parties or - for older children - using the car.
5. Avoid corporal punishment. Corporal punishment is illegal in many countries and regions, it can negatively affect the parent-child relationship and damage your child's normal social development. Most experts agree that while physical discipline has an immediate effect on your child's behavior, it does not teach him / her about what is right or wrong. Rather than giving your child the opportunity to deal with his / her own emotions, corporal punishment teaches him / her that physical violence is an acceptable response to anger and adverse situations.
   • Corporal punishment can lead to aggressive behavior.
   • There is no evidence that physical discipline is an effective means of reducing future misconduct.
   • The negative effects of corporal punishment can follow children into adulthood, in the form of mental health problems and drug or alcohol abuse.
6. Remove temptations for young children. Young children and babies are curious and it may be difficult for them to understand that certain items are inaccessible. An alternative option is to hide these items from your child so that they are not tempted.
   • For example, if you don't want your child to play with your phone or some other electronic object, put it somewhere they can't see or reach it.

Part 2 of 3: Making the child aware of their misbehavior

1. Stay calm. It's okay to step back from a situation and give yourself time to cool down. Postponement gives you time to consider reasonable disciplinary action and gives your child time to reflect on what they have done. Make it clear that you need time to calm down and that you will discuss the matter when you are done.
   • Resist the urge to become sarcastic, threatening, or criticizing. This will only make your child more angry and can have lasting effects on their self-esteem.
   • Look for warning signs of a fight-or-flight mode, such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, and tremors. This can happen when you are very angry, irritated, or angry.
   • Practice different relaxation techniques and see which ones are calming. Deep breathing, long walks, meditation, and baths are good ways to calm down. Some people even find cleaning, exercise, or reading to be excellent ways to unwind.
2. Say "no" to your child. As soon as you notice that your child is misbehaving, respond immediately and draw their attention to their own behavior. It is important that you explain why their behavior is not acceptable and that the child understands why they are being reprimanded. This will teach the child that their own actions have consequences.
   • Be firm, but don't yell. If you scream to express your emotions, your child will learn to do the same.
   • Keep calm and act quickly, but not out of anger.
   • Speak clearly and make eye contact.
   • Sit at their level with a younger child or toddler when you speak to them.
   • Provide your child with an explanation if they are old enough to understand them. Keep it focused on feelings and focus on how their behavior affects others and how it hurts others. You can discuss the consequences of a teenager's actions or decisions on a larger scale.
3. Remove your child from the situation. If your child misbehaves, gets angry, frustrated, or displays disruptive behavior, take them elsewhere. Give the child a safe place to discuss their own emotions and actions, and how he or she can improve such behavior in the future. Remember that children don't always know how to express themselves, and punishment isn't always the best way to teach them.
   • Encourage and reassure your child that you are there to support him or her.
   • Tell your child that you love him or her.
   • Calm the child by saying you understand.
   • A young child will respond best to hugs and physical proximity at such a time, making them feel safe and loved.
   • An older child who is starting to push you away will probably prefer not to have a hug right now, but reassure them by showing that you are there to support him or her, and teach the child ways to calm or calm themselves. to calm down. This includes deep breathing, counting, distracting yourself, listening to calming music and visualization techniques.
4. Make it clear that you are the boss. Children will often disobey and refuse to listen if they think they can get away with it with impunity. Create a mantra that reminds the child that you are the boss. Repeat this mantra when he misbehaves. Stick to decisions you make or your child will think he is the one in charge. Remember that you are the parent and not a friend, and your job is not to be liked, but to keep your child safe and healthy, and to teach him decency and responsibility.
   • To keep control, try phrases such as "I'm the parent" or "I'm in charge here."
   • Don't back down, regardless of the tantrum the child is showing. Don't give in, even if the child tries to manipulate you (such as by holding their breath).
   • An older child may try to challenge you on this. Encourage them to participate in discussions about decisions that affect their life, and explore together how different options will affect the child. Remember that the final decision is yours, but be prepared to explain how you came to that decision so that it can get a sense of the process of making a responsible decision.

Part 3 of 3: Positive reinforcement of good behavior

1. Be a role model of good behavior. Your child must be able to observe good behavior to know what it is. It doesn't matter how old your child is, it sees how you react and behave in all kinds of situations. Make sure to model the type of behavior you want your child to show.
   • For example, if you want your child to use good manners, make sure you show this behavior yourself. This can be as simple as "please" and "thank you", or by patiently waiting in line at the supermarket.
2. Praise the child. Sometimes children are unruly because they know they will receive attention that way, so recognize, acknowledge, and show appreciation for good behavior, rather than just reacting to bad behavior. This promotes self-esteem, encourages more good behavior, and discourages tantrums. Focus on your feelings and how behavior positively affects both of you so that it learns that good behavior is a reward in itself.
   • Tell your child when you are proud of a good choice they have made.
   • Be specific when you praise him and emphasize the behavior that you are very pleased with.
   • Depending on their age, thank them for good listening skills, sharing, or for doing chores and tasks.
   • Compare past behavior with current actions and focus on how this has improved. Set realistic goals for further improvement in the future.
3. Reward good behavior. Give your child a small reward to thank them for listening, playing nicely, completing chores, and other good behaviors. Granting a privilege can also be used as a reward, but avoid eating as a reward as it can lead to bad eating habits. Do not bribe your child by giving out rewards in advance.
   • Some families use a sticker chart to track positive changes in a younger child. Tell the child what it must do to earn a sticker, and at the end of the day, have a family meeting that discusses the day's behavior and what the child did to earn (or not) a sticker.
   • Point systems can also work, where good behavior earns kids points that can be redeemed for fun activities or gifts. Points systems can give an older child privileges, such as using the car or spending time with friends.
4. Give your child the opportunity to make some decisions for themselves. Children often misbehave because they feel they have no control. Give your child the power to make some small decisions and he'll feel more in control and less likely to behave badly.
   • Give the child a choice between a book and coloring for dinner or bedtime, when still young.
   • Let the child choose their own clothes.
   • Give them some toys to play with in the bath.
   • Ask the child what kind of sandwich they want for lunch.
   • As they get older, the decisions can become a bit more important. Let them choose between subjects if the school allows it, or let them decide what sport they want to do after school.
   • let them choose what snack they want at the supermarket.

Tips

• Consistency is the key to successful discipline. Make sure all caregivers understand how and when to correct your child.
• Be strict: don't let children have their way just because otherwise they will have a tantrum.
• Be patient and remember that young children in particular do not yet have the opportunity to tell you what is wrong, and their actions may stem from frustration.