Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Understand the goth subculture
• Part 2 of 3: Make it clear that you are interested
• Part 3 of 3: Indicate with your body language that you like her
• Tips
• Warnings

Subcultures, such as gothic culture, can sometimes be a bit dark to outsiders. If you find yourself attracted to a goth girl, then you may have no idea what to say or do. Goth fanatics aren't much different from other people, though. Try to understand the goth subculture and learn how to send the right signals to her, and you may notice before you know that the goth girl starts to feel attracted to you!

To step

Part 1 of 3: Understand the goth subculture

1. Understand what it means to be goth. A better understanding of the subculture can help to respect the girl's beliefs. This also allows you to make a better connection with her and find similarities between her beliefs and your own. What it means to be goth can vary by group and region, but there are three distinct segments within goth culture: the social group, personality and the music.
   • The goth scene offers a place for like-minded individuals, in this case goths, to come together as a group to share ideas. This can include places like gothic bars, clothing stores, second-hand stores, clubs, fetish stores, music stores and more.
   • The gothic personality is usually referred to as a strong sense of individualism, a strong appreciation for the dark side of things, supernatural beauty and dark aesthetics, art, emotion, mystery and drama.
   • Gothic music is a very important aspect of goth culture. Music serves as the central point around which the social movement revolves. Gothic music tends to sound terrifying or surreal. Gothic bands often use gothic-themed lyrics, grotesque and mysterious, and may also showcase gothic styles, such as wearing mostly black clothing.
2. Learn to recognize common gothic characteristics. There is no book with rules for dress, specific behavior or a particular music group to listen to in order to qualify as goth. There is no guarantee that all of the common goth characteristics will apply to your goth girlfriend. However, by having an idea of ​​common goth traits, you can compliment her on parts of her appearance and personality that she has clearly worked hard on. Pay attention and possibly compliment her, the following:
   • Style. This could be something like the cut, color, or shape of the clothes she's wearing. Accessories, especially those that feature prominently, should also be supplemented. Pay particular attention to unique features of clothing accessories, such as fishnet stockings, a cloak, buttons / spikes, ankh marks, chokers, and more.
   • Makeup. Goths often look for a stark contrast between black and white, and to that end often wear light-colored makeup wear with dark accents on the lips and eyes. Compliment on special embellishments and show interest by asking her she's managed to get her makeup so perfect.
   • Musical interest. You can start a conversation with her about live music or her favorite bands. You can also show your interest by asking what she likes most about her favorite goth artists.
3. Read popular goth literature. The gothic fascination with the darkness and the supernatural makes vampire stories, fantasy, horror and SF genres popular among goths. Not only will these novels give you something to talk about with the goth girl you want to pick up, but you will also gain more background knowledge on popular goth themes. And if reading novels is not your favorite pastime, you can also read gothic comics.
   • Gothic Books: Dracula, by Bram Stoker, 1984, by George Orwell, Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley, The Inferno, by Dante Alighieri and most of Edgar Allen Poe's stories
   • Gothic comics and graphic novels: The Sandman, by Neil Gaiman, The Crow, by James O'Barr and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, by Jhonen Vasquez
4. Make sure you are familiar with gothic media. Many filmmakers and musicians identify with or are highly regarded within the gothic community. Some directors, such as Tim Burton and record companies, such as Projekt, Cleopatra and Anubis, are considered more representative of the goth subculture than others. This type of media is a perfect way to gain appreciation for gothic aesthetics, while learning about central gothic themes.
   • Popular Gothic Movies: The Hunger, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Dracula, The Crow, Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice, Hellraiser and Destiny
   • Popular goth bands: Bauhaus, Christian Death, The Sisters of Mercy, Joy Division, Drab Majesty

Part 2 of 3: Make it clear that you are interested

1. Ask her about her interests and hobbies. Her gothic identity doesn't mean she lacks interests and hobbies. You may find that you have a lot more in common than you first thought! Ask her about her favorite:
   • TV series
   • School subjects
   • Leisure activity
   • Places to go
2. Be open to new things. The goth subculture may be new and foreign to you, which can make you feel like you're out of your element and uncomfortable. Do not try to have your judgment ready when you are in this situation. After all, goths are human beings, just like everyone else, just looking for a place where they feel accepted and appreciated for their style and beliefs. It's likely that goths also feel out of place in everyday life, in the way you feel when you interact with them.
   • Understand how the girl you want to attract thinks. Listen to her and talk to her about what she is saying. You don't have to think the same way she does, but respect her opinion and show her that you're interested in what's important to her.
   • It can be tempting to try to portray yourself in a way that you think will please her. This is natural, but it can make you feel like who you really are isn't good enough for her. Pretending to be different than you are can also lead to tensions in your relationship with her. Don't pretend to be someone you are not.
3. Confirm what she says. When talking to her, try to summarize what she said in your own words and ask her if you understood correctly. This is a great way to make her feel like you really understand what she's saying, which can lead to greater emotional openness between you. And as your relationship deepens, so can her feelings for you.
   • In addition to helping create an open atmosphere between you and her, this technique can also help prevent mutual misunderstandings. If you regularly check that you understand what she's saying, you are less likely to misinterpret something.
4. Immerse yourself in your conversations. Get to the bottom of the things she says by asking follow-up questions. When she asks something, you can ask why she thinks that way or what gave her that viewpoint. Don't get distracted by other people, your phone, or what's going on around you. Showing that she has your full attention also shows her that you care.
   • Turn off your phone before the date you have agreed. Even though you're having a great time, the nervous habit of checking your phone or the reflex to fiddle with it nervously can make her feel like you're not interested.

Part 3 of 3: Indicate with your body language that you like her

1. Maintain good body hygiene. This is an important point if you want to win someone over. It doesn't matter if she looks gothic or not, she probably doesn't like it when you smell like sweat! Shower daily, put on some deodorant, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, and style your hair.
   • You don't have to imitate goth style to make her like you. She may be looking for someone to complement her style rather than copy it. In that case, you may even gain admiration in her eyes for not being a goth. What matters most to her is a sense of belonging to you.
2. Point your toes in her direction. Body language conveys a great deal of information to the people we interact with. Even if she doesn't realize it, she will recognize your posture at some level. If your body is facing her (when your toes, body and hands are pointing in her direction), she will feel more interested in her.
   • Avoid crossing your arms. This will cut off most of your body from her, which can make her feel like you're closing yourself off from her. Use open and inclusive gestures.
3. Maintain eye contact as much as possible. This can be difficult, especially if you're nervous, but keeping eye contact can lead her to think of you as more than just a friend. In addition to sparking her romantic interest, the habit of maintaining eye contact with her can also encourage a healthy, satisfied relationship.
   • Be careful not to dream away while looking into her eyes! If this happens to you, she may start to think you're bored. To avoid having a blank or cold look in your eyes, start thinking about the things you like most about her while making eye contact.
   • You can also use other techniques so that your eyes have a warm and open look without losing eye contact. A dim room, restaurant, or cafe can also put her at ease and make her feel more attracted to you.
4. Smile. When you smile, you're naturally more attractive, but a good mood is infectious too, so if you can put a smile on your face while you're together, she's much more likely to associate your time together with fun.
   • You may need to practice your smile before you are completely satisfied with it. By practicing your smile in front of a mirror daily and loosening up your facial muscles, you'll be ready to conjure up a big grin when it appears in your field of vision.

Tips

• Just keep in mind that just because a girl is goth doesn't have to be immediately kinky. This is a common misconception or cliché of the goth subculture. Goth has nothing to do with your bedtime habits. So if you just want a goth girl because you think she likes kinky stuff, then better not bother her at all for starters.
• All girls are different and the goth subculture varies from region to region. The girl you are interested in may be different from the general characteristics of goths.
• Remember that while goths can look scary at times, they are usually not that different from other people you will meet in your life.
• There are other subcultures and lifestyles that resemble or share a background with dark gothic. Militarists and Goths regard each other as allies and equals. Steampunk also shares several aspects with dark gothic. If you happen to live a lifestyle that goths are open to and treat as allies, then you're much more likely to gain their trust and sympathy.

Warnings

• Changing yourself to fit or be liked by someone can be detrimental to your self-esteem. Even if you think she's a perfect fit for you, you deserve to be loved just the way you are.