Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Controlling your anger
• Method 2 of 3: Be nice to others
• Method 3 of 3: Act selflessly

Having close family and friends who can serve to provide you with support arguably makes you healthier and happier.However, keeping friends or family around isn't always that easy, especially if you're mean or constantly negative attitudes toward them. Fortunately, it doesn't have to stay that way. Practicing kindness daily and working to manage your anger can help you become a nicer person and strengthen meaningful relationships with others.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Controlling your anger

1. Use a relaxation technique to calm down. As soon as you start to feel angry, take a moment to calm down. A good way to do this is to use a relaxation technique. Some options are:
   • Take a deep breath
   • Perform gradual muscle relaxation
   • Listening to calming music
   • To walk
   • Meditate
   • Listen to a podcast
2. Fight unrealistic claims or thoughts. Unrealistic thought patterns can reinforce feelings of anger, so try to identify and question them when they arise.
   • For example, an unrealistic thought would be, "My roommate never does anything to keep our apartment clean!" I do everything! "
   • Before you allow yourself to be even more angry with that thought, take a moment to determine if this is really true. Does your roommate do different things than you to keep the apartment clean? If so, then the word "never" in this statement is unrealistic.
   • Try to turn the thought or statement into something more realistic, such as "I wish my roommate would do a little more in the household than she does now."
3. Improve your problem solving skills. Having good problem solving skills can also reduce feelings of anger and frustration. It can help you feel more in control of the situation, even when you're dealing with something that is actually frustrating. This is a skill that takes time to develop, so try to be patient.
   • When faced with a problem, take the time to identify the problem before solving it. Then list all the possible solutions available to you and choose the best one. After you have implemented a solution, you think about how it went and you can consider how you can adjust your strategy for better results in the future.
4. Don't let the frustration or anger mount. If you don't say anything when you're frustrated, it's not the best way to deal with your anger. You will only build it higher because of this. Rather than letting frustration build into anger, speak up and confront the source of your frustration with your anger. Don't be afraid to make a situation uncomfortable, that's better than getting mean in the future.
   • If you feel disrespected or hurt by someone, you may want to inflict the same emotional pain on them. Rather than doing this, let them know that they hurt your feelings and that you don't feel respected by what they are doing.
   • Rather than letting your anger build up, let the person know what he or she did wrong. Say something like "I don't like you doing that. It makes me quite angry and upset. "
5. Turn your energy into something positive. Rather than using your energy to get mean to others, focus it on a sport or hobby you'd like to play. Stay active. When you exercise or do something active, your brain releases positive endorphins that make you feel happier.
   • You can play a team sport such as football, baseball, or hockey.
   • If you're not into physical sports, try doing something creative, such as learning to play an instrument or painting.
6. If you start to get angry, walk away. Recognize when your anger starts to escalate and be aware of how angry you are. When you feel like you're getting to that point, take a step back from the argument and walk away. Be polite and explain why you are running away. Don't let the situation hang in the air forever. When your anger has subsided, regain your cool and talk to the person again.
   • You can say, "I have to go for a walk because I'm getting really angry and I'm trying to stay calm. I need some time to think about this, but when I get back we can talk. "

Method 2 of 3: Be nice to others

1. Practice showing more compassion. Pay more attention to being kind to others and try to see things from their perspective. Instead of making comments that could hurt someone's feelings, think about how you can make someone's day better. If you have the time, put in a little more effort to do small things for others, and you will see them appreciate you more.
   • For example, instead of making fun of someone with the intention of making yourself feel better, compliment them and make their day better.
   • Practicing compassion can make you a healthier and happier person.
   • You can also give a friend a small gift, such as a candy or a book, to show your appreciation for him or her.
2. Develop your communication skills. Being able to listen and communicate in a constructive and assertive way can also help control your anger and be nice to others. Communicating your feelings and emotions will help other people understand your state of mind and take away a lot of stress. A lack of communication and a lack of understanding of people's motives can often lead to arguments or differences of opinion. Try to be more honest in a conversation, even if it makes the situation less perfect, or you think the person might not like you for it. Don't ignore issues that make you uncomfortable.
   • Set aside distractions and give the person your full attention. While listening, try to keep your judgment to yourself. Just try to understand what the person is saying and where it comes from.
   • When expressing yourself, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Try saying things like, "I feel frustrated when you forget to pack your dishes." Don't say things like, "You never get rid of your things!"
   • Communicating also means being vulnerable at times and talking about things that can be embarrassing.
   • For example, if a friend does something you don't accept, instead of yelling and saying things you later regret, say something like, `` When you made that joke, and everyone started laughing, I felt like sad about that. I was humiliated, and even if you thought it wasn't that bad, it really hurt me. "
3. Be patient. People can't read your mind and some take longer to learn new things than others. Rather than immediately get angry, it is better to be patient with people. Think back to when you first did something or when you needed help. Realize that not everyone is perfect. If someone does something that disturbs you, confront the person instead of letting it go until you are angry. Have a conversation with him.
   • If your roommate taps his pencil and it prevents you from doing your job, say something like "Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but I really won't get this document done if you tap that pencil." Would you mind quitting when I'm doing my job? "
4. Don't be cynical. Being cynical can put you in a bad mood and make you more irritable. Typical cynicism is a defense mechanism that you probably use when you are disappointed or feel abandoned. Rather than expressing your emotions in a healthy and constructive way, you suppress them and minimize the impact of your feelings on other people and on yourself. This can lead to a negative outlook on the world, and it can put you in a constant state of anger.
   • Don't put down other people's work or effort. Admire someone who excels at something instead of ignoring or minimizing it.
   • Try to diminish the judgment you express about others. If you don't understand a subculture or population group, see if you can immerse yourself in their world instead of simply hating it.
5. Practice empathy. Empathy is understanding and internalizing the feelings and emotions of another person. Try to put yourself in the shoes of the other and talk to people without first passing judgment. When someone is in pain, focus on their emotions instead of rejecting them. Instead of waiting for the other person to finish, try to listen actively. Internalize what they say and try to feel the emotions they feel. This can give you a better understanding of their perspective and actions.
   • To improve your active listening skills, focus on what the other person is saying, give feedback to show that you are listening, and postpone any opinion about it. Try to support the person rather than criticize them.
   • Think back to a time when you were in similar circumstances and try to remember how bad it felt.
6. Stop being defensive. Don't put up walls or be suspicious of the people you meet. This harms your interactions with others. If you've done something wrong, take personal responsibility for your actions and don't blame other people for the things you've done. Be open to making new friends and improving existing friendships.
   • If someone makes a valid statement, instead of getting angry because he or she points out a weakness, say, "You are right. I have to work on that, and I'm working on that, but it's a process. "
   • Instead of automatically taking comments negatively, ask the person "What do you mean by that?" Then when they explain it, it may not be as bad as you initially thought.

Method 3 of 3: Act selflessly

1. Help people when they are in need. Do your best to help those in need, instead of turning away or thinking it's someone else's responsibility. Think of easy things you can do during the day to help people who can't help themselves. You could help a younger family member set up their computer or help an elder with the groceries.
   • The more you decide to help others, the happier you will be.
2. Be there for your friends if they need someone to talk to. Friendship is an essential part of your happiness. Having a supportive safety net to talk to in bad times gives us a sense of togetherness. Having friends lowers your blood pressure and makes you less prone to depression. Friendship, however, is based on communication and vulnerability. If you are mean or judgmental, friends will not want to come to you and will be less helpful when you need them.
   • Stay attentive and listen.
   • Sometimes friends don't want advice, just someone to talk to.
   • If you have talked to your girlfriend about a serious problem, it will be easier to talk to him or her about serious problems in your life.
3. Work on improving your own community. If you have the time, consider volunteering at a local community center, homeless shelter, or kitchen in your area. Look at other projects on the ground, such as tree planting activities or working to improve your city. The more you get to know other people who are committed to a positive future, the more fulfilling you will feel and the less prone you will be to outbursts of anger.
   • Volunteering with a group of people also makes you feel part of a community that will increase your happiness and reduce your anger. Having a support network in difficult times can help us cope better with everyday stress.
4. Do more things around the house. Being younger means doing odd jobs without being asked and genuinely trying to help when you see your family overwhelmed with work. If you're a parent or in a relationship, do something for your partner like fix something that's broken or make them dinner. Look for additional things to do around the house to reduce your partner's stress.
   • Communicate with your family and ask them if more needs to be done in and around the house.
   • A clean and tidy home can really boost your energy and make you happier.