Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Understanding the concepts of body language
• Method 2 of 3: Communicate with gestures
• Method 3 of 3: Interpreting facial expressions
• Tips
• Warnings

Body language, also called "non-verbal communication", is an important means of communication that you always have at your disposal. The way you communicate through your body determines your success in life, from relationships to your career. About 90% of our communication is non-verbal. If you pay more attention to the messages that you send out through your body, you can achieve more successes in your life.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Understanding the concepts of body language

1. Use open body language. This means that you assertively shake hands with people, sit calmly but still appear energetic, and seem to control your gestures.
   • Your posture will appear relaxed, but your back should always be straight. With this you show others that you feel comfortable and at the same time are full of self-confidence. Take frequent breaks when you speak so that you bond with the listener and radiate confidence.
   • Keep your legs slightly apart so that you take up a little more space. With this you radiate even more self-confidence. Lean forward slightly when someone else is speaking so that you show interest (leaning back can seem hostile).
   • Avoid crossing your arms. Instead, let them hang by your side, or press your hands together in your lap. This shows that you are open to other people.
   • Make sure your handshake is firm, but not too hard. Look the other person in the eye, but don't stare. Blink gently, and occasionally look away so people don't feel like you're intimidating them.
   • Play with the tone of your voice a little. You can radiate confidence through the tone you use. Actually, the key to success is to radiate self-confidence.
2. Learn to distinguish the emotions shown by others through body language. You can distinguish emotions in others if you pay close attention to the non-verbal signals that are given. Do take into account the specific circumstances of the moment when you perceive the emotional signals.
   • When people are angry, sometimes their faces turn red, they show their teeth, they clench their fists, and they take up the space of others, sometimes by leaning forward.
   • When people are nervous or stressed, their face turns pale, their mouth appears dry (they sometimes drink water or lick their lips), their pitch changes, and their muscles are tense (sometimes they clench their fists, or the arm muscles are tense , and the elbows are sometimes pressed against the body). Other signs of nervousness include trembling lips, fumbling, panting, or holding your breath.
3. Try not to shut yourself off in communication. If you are giving a presentation or speech, it is important that you are as open as possible with your audience. For that reason, it is advisable to remove physical barriers that make contact between the audience and you more difficult.
   • A stage, computer, chairs, even a folder, are all objects that create a distance between the speaker and the audience, making a mutual connection more difficult to feel.
   • You shut yourself off from others if, for example, you sit behind a computer screen with your arms crossed in front of your body.
4. See if anyone is on it to lie is. Body language can indicate that someone is lying. Liars may be able to hide their lies behind words, but their bodies often tell a different story.
   • Liars often make little eye contact, and their pupils are sometimes small.
   • Twisting the other person's body can be a sign of lying.
   • A change in facial color, such as flushing in the neck or face, and sweating, can be signs of lying, as can changes in the voice, such as clearing of the throat.
   • Be aware that some apparent signs of lying - sweating, little to no eye contact at all - can also be signs of nervousness or anxiety.
5. Take a look at the distance between your bodies. There are different views in different cultures about how much physical space you should give someone else. In general, the space you occupy in relation to others is divided into four categories.
   • Intimate space. This applies if you touch someone within a radius of 45 cm. Getting into someone's intimate zone can be very confusing for the other, unless the other likes it very much or if you are already intimate with each other.
   • Personal space. This space ranges from 45 cm to 1.2 m. You feel comfortable together enough to shake hands and see each other's expressions and gestures up close.
   • Social space. This is the normal space that is used for an impersonal or business contact of 1.2 m to 3.6 m. Now it is important to speak louder. Making eye contact is still important.
   • Public space: 3.6 m to 4.5 m. Examples of people who often operate in public space are teachers, or people who often speak in front of groups. Non-verbal communication is important in this case too and must often be exaggerated due to the physical distance. Gestures with hand and head are often more important in this case than facial expressions, as the latter often cannot be perceived from a great distance.
6. See what the patterns of your own body language consist of. Consciously think about the movements and postures of your body when you interact with others. A mirror can be useful when studying your facial expressions and posture. But also take a good look at what your body is doing when you are angry, don't want to be nervous, or are happy.
   • See if your body language is in sync with your verbal message. Your body language is only used effectively if it actually reflects the message you convey. Do you radiate self-confidence through your posture, or do your body language make you look insecure, even though your words express self-confidence?
   • If your non-verbal cues are in sync with your words, you will not only communicate more clearly, but you will also appear charismatic.

Method 2 of 3: Communicate with gestures

1. Use hand gestures when you communicate. Professionals believe that large speakers often use hand gestures during conversations and presentations, and that hand gestures make people feel confident in the speaker.
   • Complex gestures, such as when the two hands are above the waist, are usually associated with supporting complex thoughts.
   • Politicians such as Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Colin Powell, and Tony Blair are considered charismatic and excellent speakers - and that's because they make extensive use of hand gestures.
   EXPERT TIP

   Move through space. Don't just move your hands. Great speakers like to move through space. They point to slides, and they don't keep their distance from their audience. They are passionate and you can see it.

   • Keeping your hands in your pockets while speaking or having a conversation can make you feel insecure and cut yourself off.
   • On the other hand, if you take your hands out of your pockets and turn your palms up, you show that you are a friendly, open and credible person.
2. Pay attention to gestures. They can be passive or open. Keep in mind that some gestures have different meanings in different cultures.
   • Clenched fists or other tensions in the body can be signs of aggression, as if someone is preparing for a fight. Standing in front of someone, leaning over, and sitting close to someone can also be signs of aggression. Sometimes unexpected movements are made.
   • Open gestures are those like when you round your arms and let your palms hang down next to you, as if you want to embrace the other. The gestures are slow and soft. If you nod while someone else is talking, you show that you agree with the other person and you seem like a great listener.
3. Make sure your posture is correct. For example, if you go to a job interview and your attitude is bad, you are very likely to come across less well to the employer.
   • People often associate poor posture with low self-esteem, boredom, or lack of commitment. They may even think you are lazy and unmotivated if you don't sit up straight.
   • When you adopt a good posture, you keep your head straight and your back straight. Lean forward when you are seated. Sit in the front of the chair and lean forward to show your interest.
4. Mirror the other. Mirroring means that a conversation partner assumes the other person's attitude. By taking the other person's attitude, they feel connected to you.
   • You can mirror someone else's tone, body language or attitude. But don't do this blatantly or too often, just in an unobtrusive way.
   • Mirroring is one of the most effective ways to bond with someone.
5. Emphasize your point of view with gestures. Make sure you have more than one gesture that you can draw on. This allows you to convey your message better. If you want to make sure your message is properly understood, repeat the gesture or gestures the moment you speak about your idea again.
   • If the listener does not seem to fully understand the gesture, chances are he or she will understand the other gesture. You don't need to have a gesture or multiple gestures for each word, of course, but it is a good idea to have a variety of gestures available. You can then use them to more powerfully convey concepts that are important and can be easily misunderstood.
   • Focus your positive gestures on the listener. This shows even more clearly that you are offering the listener a positive outcome. Instead, direct your negative gestures away from the listener and yourself. That way you make it clear that you want nothing to stand between you and your message.
6. Avoid gestures that reveal nervousness or insecurity.Also keep an eye on other non-verbal signals. Watch out for eyes that wander around too much, hands picking at clothing, and constantly picking up the nose.
   • Touching your face expresses nervousness. Improve your posture. If you constantly stand with your back arched, or keep touching your face, you will never look confident, approachable, or comfortable. Improving your posture and getting rid of nervous tics can be difficult and take some time, but it will quickly make your entire nonverbal communication look better.
   • All these small gestures add value and are bound to have a dampening effect on your message. But don't worry if you are accidentally guilty of some of these things in any given situation.

Method 3 of 3: Interpreting facial expressions

1. See who is the dominant figure in the conversation. When talking to someone, try to be the one who is dominant so that you radiate confidence. Dominance is determined by observing who of the two looks at the other the most, and who looks away the most.
   • This dominance helps you determine where you stand in the social hierarchy in relation to the person you are having the conversation with. People who almost always look away are not very dominant from a social point of view. People who don't look away are likely to be in control.
   • People staring at the ground look helpless because they look like they want to avoid criticism or conflict.
2. Use eye contact to send messages. As the cliché goes: the eyes are the gateways to the soul. You can get to know someone quite a bit just by looking at the way that person uses their eyes in communication.
   • Avoiding eye contact, or looking down a lot, are signs of defensive behavior. Eye contact usually increases when someone is listening and not talking. Looking away can mean that the person who is talking has not finished talking and wants to go even further.
   • Looking at someone can mean that someone is attracted to the other. People who are interested in someone usually make a lot of eye contact and lean towards the other person during a conversation.
   • Depending on the situation, making eye contact can also be used to show respect. For example, if you are giving a presentation to a room full of people, divide the room into three. Then make comments on one side, then on the other, and finally in the middle. From each section, select someone to address your comments to. The people around them will think that you are making direct contact with them, and that will make them appreciate you more as a speaker.
3. Learn to perceive and interpret expressions of emotions. Pay close attention to facial expressions that show emotions, especially if they contradict the words someone speaks. You can find out what someone's real feelings are.
   • Regulators are facial expressions that provide feedback during a conversation, such as nodding the head, and various other expressions of interest and boredom. Through regulators, a person can show the listener how interesting he or she finds the saying, or to what extent he or she agrees with it. Basically, one can give feedback in a non-verbal way by means of regulators.
   • You can show empathy to the other person by making affirmative movements, such as nodding your head and smiling. These gestures, which you make when the other person speaks, positively encourage the other and let the other know that you like what is being said.
4. Try not to appear defensive. Some non-verbal gestures and facial expressions come across as defensive, rather than self-confident. This makes you seem less in control of the situation.
   • A limited range of facial expressions and gestures made close to the body or arms can appear defensive.
   • Turning your body away from the other person, or crossing your arms in front of your body, are other expressions of defensive behavior.
5. See if there is interest in your message. When you give a presentation, you naturally want people to be interested in what you have to say. And if you are the one listening to a presentation, it is important that you appear interested. There are signals that indicate whether there is interest or a lack thereof.
   • Letting your head hang down and looking elsewhere are signs of disinterest.
   • Sitting down in a chair is a sign of disinterest. Fumbling, scribbling or writing are also signs of disinterest.

Tips

• Take a good look at the standards that apply in certain cultures. If you have only recently become acquainted with a new culture, you may need to adapt your body language to the new culture. Cultural norms for body language (e.g. how far away you should be, how much eye contact you should make, and which gestures are taboo) can be quite different, and if you don't have the same body language as the people around you , then you are probably often misunderstood. And that can sometimes even have serious consequences.
• Concentrate on difficult situations. It's important to make sure your body language is clear when you're dealing with people you don't know very well. These kinds of situations (your first date, or a job interview, for example) require extra attention.
• Pay attention to the emotional expressions you make through your body language. Look at your body language to find out how you feel. If you're not sure what you think of someone or something, check out what your body is saying.
• Start with and end with your most positive (or, if allowed, negative) gestures and facial expressions.While it is true that the first five to 10 seconds leave the biggest impression on us when we meet someone, we also make a crucial impression in the last five to 10 seconds.
• Be honest and don't judge. Your speech and your gestures are a duality. When you say what you mean, your body language will reflect it.

Warnings

• Keep in mind that others may misinterpret your body language. Always try to be clear and try to reinforce the content through your body language.
• Making a gesture or facial expression that you don't mean is the same as lying, and it can be understood that way. When someone says about someone else that he or she comes across as fake, they are usually talking about the body language of such a person, which means that it looks made.
• Not everyone uses the same gestures to convey the same thing. For example, in America, spreading your feet means standing your ground. But in Japan, the feet are held together, with the hands close to the sides, to convey exactly the same thing.
• If you haven't checked with the other person exactly what he or she meant by his or her body language, you can never be sure what he or she meant. The context is also important. For example, people who have their arms crossed in front of their chest are thought to be defensive. But they may just be cold!