Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Dealing with a rejection
• Part 2 of 3: Being friends
• Part 3 of 3: Giving her space
• Warnings

Rejection isn't easy, but just because a girl doesn't want a relationship with you doesn't mean you can't be friends. With some work and persistence, you can develop a new and lasting friendship. But remember, if you choose to accept that the two of you are only friends, your chances of ever starting a love affair with her will diminish.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Dealing with a rejection

1. Be polite if she rejects you. While it's never fun being rejected, keep it in mind, especially if you do want to stay friends with the girl. Even if she doesn't handle it as politely as she should, you can be the more mature person and accept the rejection.
   • End the conversation with a simple, "Okay, I'll talk to you later," or something similar.
   • When you see her later, greet her with a smile.
   • Don't bring up the rejection again, at least not for a while. She made her decision and you will only annoy her if you can't stop talking about it.
   • Never insult or threaten her. It's this girl's right to decide who she wants to date and who doesn't, and she doesn't deserve to be offended just for rejecting your rapprochement.
2. Allow yourself to grieve for a while. Being rejected always hurts, and it's normal to feel bad about it. Don't try to suppress your feelings of disappointment, but allow yourself to let those feelings run wild for a few days. After you have gone through this grieving process, you can continue to work on your self-confidence.
   • Everyone is grieving at their own pace, and it is normal to feel sad for a while. If it seems you can't get over it or you have been feeling depressed for a long time, you may be experiencing mental health issues. Consider talking to a guidance counselor or therapist to get the help you need.
3. Put the rejection in perspective. Things always seem more serious than they really are when they first happen. It may seem like this rejection is very important, but think about it a little longer. How much will being rejected for a date affect your life? Probably not too much.
   • Remember, this rejection means nothing to you as a person. You're not a bad or unwanted person because that one girl doesn't reciprocate your advances. All the good qualities you had are still part of you. Once you realize that, it will become much easier to move on with your life.
4. Try to take your mind off the rejection with other activities. When you're feeling a bit down, doing nothing will only make you feel worse. Your brain will then dwell on the problem. Instead, you can better distract the brain. Watch a movie, go out for a walk or bike ride, go to the mall with friends - whatever you enjoy that will keep your mind busy.
   • It mainly helps to undertake activities that you are good at. This will help restore your confidence. For example, if you are good at basketball, go out with a few friends from a game. Your good performance under the ring will help improve your mood and confidence.
5. Don't try to be "just" a good friend to her sooner after you process the rejection. If you are still hurt, you cannot be a friend to her. You will keep wondering why she rejected you, what's wrong with you, etc. This could result in you lashing out at her or getting angry with her. It is much better to work on processing the rejection before moving on, otherwise you may cause yourself or others unnecessary heartache.

Part 2 of 3: Being friends

1. Avoid hidden motives. Before you try to develop your friendship with her, you should be sure about your motivation. Do you really want to be friends with her, or are you just hoping that it will eventually be something more than that? Even if you still like her that way, you better not be friends with her if you're just hoping the two of you will eventually get into a relationship. This will probably only lead to you being rejected again if she changes relationship, or still doesn't want a steady relationship with you.
   • In addition, she may think twice before wanting to be friends with you if she finds out that you have underlying motives. Ask yourself if you really want to be friends with a girl who turned you down.
2. Treat her in a normal way. Shortly after the rejection, she may find it strange to talk to or see you. Let her know that it is no longer a problem for you and have moved on. Try not to stammer or be shy. Talk about school, music, TV, and other things you would normally talk about with a friend. This will make her feel more comfortable around you and will think of you more as a regular friend than someone she turned down. Don't let her persuade you to stay friends if you'd rather not. Don't be shy about turning down her friendship and getting to know other girls who might like you as someone to be in a relationship with.
   • It's normal to feel nervous the first few times after the rejection when you talk to her. Read articles on talking to girls for some ideas on how to overcome your nervousness and keep a conversation going.
   • Start a conversation with her about things you have in common. Maybe you both take the same courses. Talk to her about a teacher or a test as a way to keep a conversation going. This will allow you to break the ice and show her that you are someone she can just talk to.
   • Again, don't bring up the rejection. This will make her feel uncomfortable and she probably won't be eager to talk to you again.
3. Find out what her interests are. Every friendship requires mutual interests. When talking to her, try to find out what her hobbies and interests are. You may discover that you are fans of the same band or sports team. This is an obvious topic to talk about when you see her, and can also give you ideas about things you could do together.
   • During one of your conversations, you would casually mention a band or something that was on TV the night before. Pay attention to her reaction and whether she is interested. If she doesn't seem interested in what you have said, use that as an opportunity to ask what she likes.
   • Learning more about her interests will only bring more common ground and can strengthen your friendship. However, you should only start with a hobby or interest because you really enjoy this yourself. Doing something just because she likes it means you're not being honest with yourself and her.
4. First, talk to her again in a group setting. Shortly after the rejection, it is better not to interact with her when you are alone. She might think you're just trying to seduce her to go out with you. Instead, invite her to hang out with friends. Tell her she can also bring friends. She will likely feel more comfortable with friends around so that you can interact as normal friends as well.
   • Movies, sports, bowling and eating out are all good activities that can be undertaken in a larger group.
   • If your friends know about the rejection, tell them not to bring it up when she's around. A casual comment from one of your friends can make her feel uncomfortable and ruin what could have been a good time.
5. Gradually spend more time alone with her. This will probably take a while, and maybe never. She may just hate being alone with you, and there's nothing you can do about it. You can still be friends even if you don't just see her.
   • If you ask her to do something together, make sure she knows you don't mean it as a date. Let her know that you only think of her as a regular friend.
   • In addition, she may find it more comfortable if you only meet in public. She may get the wrong idea if you ask her to watch movies at your house.

Part 3 of 3: Giving her space

1. Try not to contact her too often. Constantly calling or texting her will likely make her feel like you are still interested in her, and will eventually annoy her. Treat her the same way you would treat your other friends. Would you call other friends three times a day? Probably not. Remember, the way to be a better friend to her is to treat her normally.
   • There is no concrete rule on how much contact is too much, so let it depend on the situation. By paying attention to her way of reacting, you will be able to see if you are going too far. If she's answering shorter and shorter, making you wait a long time to respond, and you're handling most of the conversation, these are all indications that she's not really interested in a conversation. Make sure you contact her less often.
   • If she says to your face that you are calling her too often, take that seriously and stop.
2. Stick to boundaries when talking to her. There are a few things you shouldn't talk to her about. Don't talk about her love life, her relationship (if she has one), the fact that she rejected you, and any romantic topics. Stick to safe topics.
   • Of course you can talk about such topics when he brings it up. Let her take the first step in showing that she can discuss more serious topics with you. Until then, it is better to respect existing boundaries so as not to risk making her feel uncomfortable.
3. Respect her relationship if she has one. While it may be difficult to see her in a relationship with someone else, this is something you have to accept. You are not in a relationship with her and it is none of your business what she does romantically. Failure to live up to the boundaries of her relationship is rude to both her and her lover.
   • Don't insult her loved one or compare yourself to him or her. In fact, it's really better not to talk about her lover at all unless she mentions him first. This prevents conversations from entering inappropriate territory.
   • Sometimes people are less likely to talk to regular friends of the opposite sex when they are in a relationship. You may find this difficult to deal with, but it is common and you must respect her choices. Don't bother her if she breaks away from you after getting into a relationship. If the two of you have become very close friends and she stops talking altogether, you can bring it up to her and say that you are disappointed that your friendship has suffered. If you're only superficial friends, leave it alone.
   • Never try to start anything with her if you know she's in a relationship. While this would be inappropriate after a rejection anyway, knowing she's in a relationship is especially disrespectful.
4. Only approach when you notice that she is interested in you. She may start to like you if you've been friends for a while. If that happens and you're still interested, that's great. However, don't try to court her again until she shows an interest in you. Otherwise, it could damage the friendship you've worked so hard for.

Warnings

• Don't put your own love life on hold hoping this girl wants a relationship with you someday. That may never happen, and you may miss out on opportunities that can change your life.
• When a girl realizes that you like her, she can start asking you to do things for her. Make sure she doesn't take advantage of you. Only do things for her that a regular friend would do for her.
• If you find yourself becoming depressed at some point, it may be a good idea to seek psychological help.