Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: General courtesy
• Method 2 of 2: Polite answers
• Tips

Being polite is a form of etiquette; it is about respect and taking into account the feelings of others, their culture, values ​​and norms. It doesn't seem difficult, but for many people it remains a challenge. While there are people who don't care about politeness at all, you may be wondering how to improve your etiquette as you read this article. At the very least, you may want to know how to avoid appearing rude or rude, which can cause you to repel people around you. Being polite is also a great way to make new friends.

To step

Method 1 of 2: General courtesy

1. Be nice, not coercive or insistent. That doesn't mean you have to be a tame, quiet wimp. It means that if you do, offer, or ask for something, you do it without pressuring others, and without them feeling like they are being cornered.
   • For example, if you are having a conversation, it is one thing to ask a question or express your opinion, but it is rude to proceed if someone has expressed discomfort (verbally or non-verbally) with the subject.
   • Even if you just want to help, such as when you offer to pay for lunch or do the dishes, don't push for too long. If someone says "No thanks, it's okay", say "Please, I would like to help" once. If the other person still says no, let it go. Then the other would like to treat you, so allow that and pay next time.
2. When in doubt, observe others. How do they greet and address each other? What do they do with their coats? What kinds of topics do they discuss? Different circumstances require different formalities and standards, and those standards often determine what is polite and what is not.
   • A business lunch, a Christmas dinner, a wedding and a funeral will all have a different, but generally more formal tone than a party with a group of friends.
3. Be nice. Always be courteous, because you may encounter the other person in a different environment, and then it is not pleasant when more negative memories put you in a bad light. If someone annoys or even insults you, don't argue. Just say "Let's agree we won't agree," and change the topic, discuss politely, or excuse yourself and end the conversation.
4. Start a conversation by asking the other person questions. Try not to talk too much about yourself - if they want to know (or be polite) they will ask you something. Be confident and charming. Don't dominate the conversation, it's arrogant and rude. Look interested and listen to the answers.
   • Don't look over the other person's shoulder or across the room, or rest your eyes on a new guest who has just arrived. This shows that you are distracted or that you are not interested - as if your conversation partner is too mundane or boring to pay attention to.
5. Shake hands firmly and look the other person in the eye when you do. You can practice this a bit so that you don't squeeze someone's hand, depending on how strong you are. That can make the other person uncomfortable. Be especially careful when shaking hands with someone wearing rings. Squeezing too hard can be very painful.
   • Know that the real "old-fashioned" etiquette is that it is inappropriate for a man to shake the hand of a woman or an elderly man, or to shake the hand of an elderly woman if you are a woman yourself. Greet the other first, but wait for them to reach out. However, if you are an older person or a woman yourself, you should remember that if you do not offer a hand, the other person may feel rejected because he / she should not be the first to reach out. You can usually determine within half a second whether the other person is reaching out to you, so be alert.
   • Don't approach someone with your arm already outstretched. That comes across as compelling. If you want to show that you are approaching someone, make sure you have good eye contact and smile, open your arms slightly (bent at the elbows) so that you make an inviting gesture.
6. Know proper table etiquette. Use the cutlery from the outside in. Put your napkin on your lap and don't put anything on the table that wasn't there when you arrived (phone, glasses, jewelry). Put your bag at your feet, under your seat. Women are not allowed to touch up make-up at the table. It's rude and shows a lack of sophistication. If you want to touch up your makeup or check for something stuck in your teeth, go to the bathroom.
7. Show by laughing that you are having a good time without getting loud. Loudness is a sign of arrogance or insecurity. A charming, polite person makes another person feel good. Keep that in mind, take into account the needs and opinions of others. Never make derogatory comments about ethnic backgrounds, politics or religion.
8. Be graceful and show elegance. Move smoothly, with gentle movements and attention to the moment. People will notice this subtle charm, and it can be very useful to you.
9. Note that etiquette and manners depend on the cultural environment you are in. Make sure to study local customs before going anywhere!

Method 2 of 2: Polite answers

1. Respond appropriately to the situation. In many social situations, there are general guidelines for polite conversation. The ability to listen to what the other person is saying and respond thoughtfully without sarcasm, insult, or overly jovial is very important for a smooth conversation. Here are some examples:
2. Greet someone personally. When talking to someone from your peer group, you can greet someone by name, and extend the greeting if appropriate. If you want to be polite, stick to the greeting. For instance:
   • "Good morning, Jessica."
     • "Good morning, Peter."
   • In this case, both the greeter and the one being greeted keep things short, professional, and courteous. Here is an example of expanding it a bit:
   • "Good morning, Jessica, good to see you today. "
     • Thank you, Peter. Good to see you too. "
   • If you're greeting someone from above your peer group - maybe your boss, an important person, or someone "above" you, you better keep it formal. For instance:
   • "Good morning, Jessica."
     • "Good morning, Mr. Jansen. "
   • If Mr. Jansen says "Call me Peter", then do that. But never do it without him telling you so.
3. Know how to greet someone on the phone. Politeness on the phone depends entirely on the situation. If you are in a business environment, how you answer the phone depends on your position within the company. You can record a call from a potential customer in the following way:
   • "Good afternoon, ABC telecom, you speak to Mrs. Smit. How can I help you?'
4. Do not shout. During internal calls, it does happen that people pick up the phone by calling their department into the receiver. Even though it is common, it is much better to put it neatly.
   • "Sales." Then it looks like a robot is answering the phone. It does not show that someone is on the line who cares. A better approach would be:
   • Sales, with Leonore. What can I do for you?'.
5. Introduce someone appropriately. In this common situation, people often don't know what to say. Here are some guidelines:
   • Formal situations. In formal situations, "you don't introduce" people, you "introduce them." This involves a hierarchy:
   • The younger person, or the one who has achieved less, is always introduced by the older or more important person:
     • "Mr. de Haan, may I introduce to you: Mr. Bruin"
   • A gentleman is always introduced to a lady:
     • "Mrs. Jansen, may I introduce to you: Mr. Davids"
   • Minister presidents, clergy and people of nobility are always introduced Onregardless of age, gender or rank:
     • "Mr. Rutte, it is an honor to introduce to you: Mrs. Jansen from Urk".
   • Informal situations. In an informal situation, you can follow the guidelines for the formal situations - young to older, less important to more important, woman to man - but without worrying about being penalized for doing it wrong! You can also suggest one to the other, or omit the word altogether, such as:
     • "Mr van Bommel, may I introduce to you: Mr Green, from the accounting department. Just exchanging names works fine too:
     • "Mr van Bommel, Mr Green". Although there is no formal introduction, the "rank" is made clear by the declension of the vote. The name of the elder is said in the form of a question, the name of the young person as a normal pronunciation: "Mister van Bommel? Mr. Green ".
   • The polite answer when introduced to someone is simply "How are you?"
   • Mr. van Bommel, may I introduce to you: Mrs. van Ravenzwaai ". Van Ravenzwaai replies with "How are you?" Mr. van Bommel can answer what he wants.

Tips

• Always say please and thank you.
• Do not interrupt people when they are talking to or engaged in something.
• Be polite to wait staff (and tip).
• It's always worse when you're caught lying than when you're telling the truth.
• Don't put your elbows on the table or reach over others to grab salt or pepper. Always ask if someone can pass it on.
• Adapt your behavior to the occasion. You can act more loosely at a family party than at a business dinner. This also applies to clothing. If you are not sure what kind of venue you are going to, ask what kind of party / restaurant / club it is and you can prepare well. Nothing is more annoying than arriving at a cocktail party in leather pants and biker boots - except showing up in a tuxedo at a biker club's clubhouse.
• Never take anything yourself unless the host has said you can.
• Do not insist if someone has refused. Then it seems as if you cannot accept "no".