Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Understanding asexuality
• Part 2 of 2: Dating an asexual
• Tips

In the world of biological reproduction, asexuality means that a single organism can produce offspring identical to its parent. In terms of human sexuality, it simply means that a person does not feel any sexual attraction. If you want to understand asexuality, it is important to remember that people who identify as asexual are not necessarily different from you - apart from the fact that they experience sexual attraction differently (or, more accurately, not).

To step

Part 1 of 2: Understanding asexuality

1. Know what it means to be asexual. Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person does not feel a sexual attraction to people, regardless of gender. However, someone who identifies themselves as asexual may still choose to have sex, be able to love, get involved with romantic partners or get married, and may also have normal relationships with other people. Asexuality does not describe what someone decides to do, but rather how someone feels. Asexual people have emotional needs, feel attraction to others, and may even experience arousal. The only thing they don't feel is sexual attraction.
   • In addition, many asexual people can still identify themselves as lesbian, gay, heterosexual, bisexual, or pansexual (attracted to people of any gender or sexual orientation).
   • Asexuality is not the same as low libido, which can be caused by medical or health issues. Nor is it the same as suppression of sexual desires.
2. Understand what the umbrella term "asexuality" covers. As with any other sexual orientation, the label "asexual" is a generalization that does not explain or represent everyone who identifies as such. Every person is unique and individual, and the sexual orientation extends across a spectrum of desires, needs, interests and attractions. Try to see asexuality as a collective term for people who describe themselves as asexual, gray-asexual and demisexual.
   • Gray asexual means that someone does experience sexual attraction, but not as often or only minimally.
   • Demisexual describes someone who only feels sexual attraction to people with whom a close emotional bond has been forged.
   EXPERT TIP

   Make a distinction between asexuality on the one hand and total abstinence and celibacy on the other. Total abstinence is a conscious choice to refrain from sexual activity; Celibacy is a deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity and marriage (or other marriage-like relationships). These choices can be made for religious, philosophical, moral or other reasons. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction; not necessarily the lack of sexual desire. This means that asexual people:

   • Abstainers or celibates.
   • Being sexually active through masturbation.
   • Being sexually active with partners.
3. Learn some asexuality not is. Asexuality is a sexual orientation distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality and other orientations. However, asexuality has nothing to do with biological sex, gender identity and gender expression. Asexual also does not necessarily mean aromantic (when someone does not feel a romantic attraction to others).

Part 2 of 2: Dating an asexual

1. Recognize that there are multiple types of relationships. Just as there are friendships, mother-daughter relationships, father-son relationships, and countless other types of platonic (non-sexual) relationships, there are many types of romantic relationships besides just sexual romantic relationships. Dating an asexual could open your eyes to new types of relationships, which may include:
   • Romantic non-sexual relationships, usually involving physical affection, cuddling, and devotion.
   • Aromantic non-sexual relationships that involve a deep commitment to someone else. While these types of relationships can involve physical affection, there is no romantic or sexual element.
2. Communicate openly. Dating is always about getting to know someone better. That includes dating someone who is asexual, regardless of the circumstances. The key to any relationship is free and open communication. It is important to establish personal boundaries early in the relationship so that partners know from each other what is acceptable, what is unacceptable, and what is and is not expected of each other. If you are unsure about something, it is always best to just ask!
   • It's important not to feel offended if someone you're dating comes out as asexual. It is neither an excuse nor an attempt to flee the relationship. he / she is just trying to be honest and open.
3. Know that asexual people can also be intimate. Asexual people often engage in romantic partnerships or relationships, but whether they are open to physical or sexual intimacy can vary from person to person. However, dating doesn't always have to involve physical or sexual interaction. Two people can develop a strong emotional or romantic relationship, with or without a sexual element. Intimacy is about more than just physical touch or sexual activity.
   • An asexual partner may or may not be open to sexual activity, so it is important to communicate well so that you are aligned. Experiencing sexual pleasure is different from feeling sexual attraction. Some asexual people can therefore "just" enjoy sex.
   • On the other hand, some asexual people have no interest in sex at all, nor are they open to exploring sexual relationships.
4. Don't expect the asexual person to change. Asexuality is not a choice or a preference, any more than heterosexuality and homosexuality are. People who identify as asexual do not need to be "fixed" and will not change based on the person they are in a relationship with.
   • Some asexual people are not interested in romantic relationships, and may, for example, only be open to close friendships and non-sexual aromantic relationships.

Tips

• The asexual flag consists of four equal horizontal stripes. From top to bottom, the stripes are black, gray, white and purple.
• Because the term "ace" is also often used to refer to asexual people, the Ace of Spades, Ace of Hearts, Ace of Diamonds and Ace of Clubs are also sometimes used as symbols of asexuality.
• Know that "coming out" is not a decision that you should think lightly about. If someone tells you that he / she is asexual, it means that he / she trusts you a lot. It is important to realize that it will not change anything; you will only know something that you did not know before.